As the year draws to a close, we've reviewed our reviews from 2009, and scientifically determined just which toys were the best of the best this year. Below, our picks for the tops in toys.

10) The Real Touch: With a few rare exceptions, high end (and high tech) sex toys are almost exclusively targeted at women. The Real Touch is looking to change that. A high tech masturbator that syncs with POV porn, the Real Touch may just change the face of toys for boys. True, it has its problems (most notably, the fact that it won't work if you're not paying per minute for AEBN's porn)—but it's promising enough to give us hope for the future.

9) OhMiBod Freestyle: After years on the scene, the OhMiBod has finally reached its full potential. With the Freestyle's wireless connection, you can finally rock out to your tunes without being tied down to them.

8) Tenth Anniversary Tristan Butt Plug: The Tenth Anniversary Tristan Plug takes a good thing and makes it better (or at least bigger). A beefed up version of the original Tristan plug, the 10th anniversary edition is a must have for any butt aficionado in need of an upgrade.

7) Bolero Straitjacket **BEST LUXURY TOY**: This delightful bondage device combines the efficient immobilization of the straitjacket with the delicious eroticism of being nearly naked. True, it's not cheap—but if you're willing and able to invest in your BDSM toy chest, it's an excellent addition.

6) Imperial: With 11 inches of aircraft quality spun aluminum, the Imperial is bound to please any and all size queens—especially the ones who enjoy toys with the ability to pleasure and violently disfigure.

5) Bloomy: A wonderful dildo for the girls, and a p-spot stimulating butt plug for the boys—Bloomy's a toy that everyone can enjoy! (Just, uh, remember to sterilize it before sharing.)

4) Finger Tingles **BEST BUY**: Since the day we first discovered sex, we've wondered whether there could ever be away to improve on the erotic abilities of the simple little finger. The answer, friends, is yes: with the help of the Finger Tingles, your mild-mannered digit becomes a super finger.

3) Contour Q **BEST DISCREET TOY**: Don't be fooled by Contour Q's innocent appearance: these bumpy little massage stones know their way around a woman's body. And we do mean all parts of the body.

2) Sqweel: With the Sqweel, Love Honey set out to create a toy that replicates the sensation of oral sex. While they may not have quite achieved that goal, they did create a wholly unique toy that stimulates in a very unusual (and very pleasing) way.

1) Form 2: Small, sleek, and super-powered: the rabbit-inspired Form 2 has two silicone ears that are all revved up and ready to rock. And just like a real rabbit, this thing won't quit until long after you're satisifed.

Worst Toy of 2009: The Blowguard: Sure, it'll enable you to give a decent blowjob with absolutely no effort...at the cost of your dignity, your comfort, and your ability to control your drooling.

· Watch "I Love Big Toys #23" right now! (hotmovies.com)
· Buy "I Love Big Toys #23" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

Not only have the couples in these videos managed to fuck while drunk—they've also had the wherewithal to videotape it. That dedication is both impressive and hot. And probably useful the next morning, when you need to piece together the previous night.

Fucking my gf #2 w/ cumshot (xtube.com)

Ex drunk and playing (xtube.com)

my drunk housemates (xtube.com)

drunken fun (xtube.com)

drunk at my boss party (xtube.com)

Drunk Babe Gets Anal (yuvutu.com)

Drunken amateur sex (pornhub.com)

Drunk (yuvutu.com)

Zonka ssie po imprezce (yuvutu.com)

Drunk Girl gets screwed (xnxx.com)

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Previously: Top Ten Video Archive

· Buy "Masturbation Nation #3" (tlavideo.com)

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A double-ended glass dildo with a slight bend in the center, Athena is a wonderful choice for any lady in search of a sleek, sexy toy that'll hit the gspot just right. The solid glass body has a decent heft that creates both a feeling of fullness and a good amount of pressure in just the right spot—and the two different heads offer the user a bit of choice about how much girth she'd like to play with. Isn't it nice to have choices?

A note for the worried: no, you won't have to worry about the Athena shattering inside you. Yes, it is glass: but it's very, very dense and sturdy (and if you have Kegel muscles that are capable of shattering it—well, we definitely want to know your pubic fitness regiment).

Because Luxotiq is a thoughtful company, they include a cloth to wipe down your Athena with, post-use. Once it's all nice and shiny, you can put it back in it's fancy sateen-lined case—or hey, even leave it out on the coffee table. It's so pretty, you'll probably get compliments on your fancy new sculpture.

· Buy the Athena (babeland.com)

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

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Cassidey and Veronica have a similar setup—though, somewhat oddly, theirs seems to be in the living room, rather than the bedroom (perhaps they have interesting parties?). Watching ourselves in the heat of the moment always felt a bit like combining exhibitionism and voyeurism into one sexy package; watching Cassidey and Veronica in two places at once feels like taking voyeurism to the next level—like we're some kinda superpowered super voyeur. Hmm... think we can get that on a t-shirt?

· Buy "Nympethamine 2" (adultdvdempire.com)

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

And at least when those teachers are hot pornstars like Kylie Worthy and Derrick Pierce, who are more than happy to use their bodies to demonstrate all sorts of sexy lessons (in this case, how to stimulate the g-spot). Don't worry if it takes you a while to pick up on all their tips and tricks... you can watch the video again and again (and again!) until you've, uh, learned everything you need to know.

· Buy "Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to the G-Spot" (gamelink.com)
· Vivid-Ed (vivid-ed.com)

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Previously: Tristan Taormino Gets Up Close And Personal With The G-Spot (Really!)

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

What is Bad Dragon, you ask? Why, asex toy company specializing in marital aids "for people who want to indulge in fantasies of their favourite species either in private, or with others." Extra emphasis on fantasy: the bulk of the members represented in the Bad Dragon dildo line belong to creatures of the imaginary persuasion—so you can be sure no animals were harmed in the crafting of these dildos.

· Bad Dragon (bad-dragon.com)