Fleshbot: straight, dildo

While Santa Makes His Rounds...

Ottimo Massimo — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:30:01 EST

Poor Mrs. Claus has to wait the whole year for her hubby to leave so she can finally whip out her dildo. He needs to get out of the house more often.

It's not that Santa has a problem with masturbation, or feels threatened by a large, fake phallus, he's just very strict about only having elf-made toys in his home. As much as Mrs. Claus sympathizes, those tiny hands are better suited to making wooden trains than they are to satisfying a woman's needs.

· Merry X-mas in Japanese - Countdown 1 (xtube.com)

Sticky, Sweet, Serious Work In "Popsicle Play"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Because when you think about it, snowballing makes more sense if you do it with ice cream.

Popsicle Play

Studio: Abigail Williams Productions
Director: O. Cohen
Cast: Samantha Ryan, Nika Noir, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, Jayden James, Ann Marie Rios

This movie is wet in the best possible way. The first scene has Nika Noir and Samantha Ryan work each other to a slow, screaming lather. They get wet, I get wet (which really isn't supposed to happen, I'm a guy), and it's literally raining on them the entire time. Sadly, a popsicle is missing from this scene, but there was a delightful, popsicle-colored vibrator in use.

Actually, the absence of popsicles was a bit concerning at times. Certain scenes—like Nika and Samantha's—could've used one, especially when the cover shows an intimate moment between the girls involving a Cherry Pineapple Big Stick. Ann Marie Rios has the only solo work in the film, and she is also missing a frozen treat. Then again, what she lacks in sugar, she more than makes up with seething. She masturbates like a schizophrenic, half-laughing/half-crying to the point of blazing orgasm.

On the other hand, I'm happy the popsicles were few. It makes them exciting! Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes start off their scene with some intense snack time: holding a Firecracker in her teeth, Jayden colors Nikki's nipples red. Then the girls double-team-deepthroat the ice lolly down to the stick. Have you ever wished your penis were a popsicle? You will.

But it's important to remember that the popsicle isn't a surrogate penis, and you shouldn't be projecting yourself onto unhealthy snacks. For one, you could never have intercourse because sugar is bad for the vagina and is prone to cause yeast infections (The More You Know!). Besides, remember what Belladonna taught us?

Second, it's ok to identify with girls in porn, even lesbian porn; accept your desire for both the active and passive roles! Really, when you're watching Darryl Hannah mouthfuck Ava Rose with a popsicle, and the camera is so close that you can read the joke off the stick, you'd be silly if you didn't want to be one of the girls.

Discovery Of The Monolith

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:30:01 EDT

And then, after the primates discover the Monolith, they invent weaponry. This eventually leads to big black anal vibrators.

Of course, the use of an anal vibrator is more of a personal discovery, as in this video. Like all discoveries, it should be well-lubed, gingerly placed, and accompanied with slow but steady boning. Some day the humans will uncover an even more delicious orifice to put things in. For now, the Monolith waits...

· morning fun (xtube.com)

Nikitta (Only Cuties)

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:00:00 EDT

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Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

Maggie (Only Cuties)

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:45:27 EDT

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Fleshbot Babes Archive

Sex Blog Roundup: What Are Words For?

Jonnobot — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:40:41 EDT

You know, Dale Bozzio had it right: When no one listens, there's no use talking at all. But when the clothes come off and ears prick up, words—or the lack thereof—can have some delicious and lasting effects. In today's roundup of some of our favorite words from the sex blog scene, these occasionally chatty types go from silent to verbose to downright nasty in their naked conversations. From the quiet, casual nipple-pinching of an exhibitionist in the park to full-on hot wife dirty talk, this is some verbiage you don't want to miss.

And as long as we're rolling with the 80's lyrics, shoot your mouth off with Madeline Glass after the jump; she'll show you what that hole is for.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Madeline Glass

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The Exhibitionist and the Voyeur Cross Paths

I resume my position. This time, my hand trails down my thigh and my legs part a bit. I idly run a finger up and down my wet slit. I see movement and I freeze. He got up and moved to a closer bench. He has abandoned his book; he is sitting there casually smoking, eyes narrowed and now staring blatantly at me with one hand on the bulge in his pants. Cocky fucker.

- This Could Be Dangerous

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The Pilot...part two

I leaned over and used my thumb to wipe away some of my wetness from his chin, and kissed him, tasting myself on his lips and tongue. Again he told me how hot I was, and told me how good I smelled. I raised his hand to my mouth again and sucked his damp fingers that had been inside of me.

- The Increasingly Risque Confessions of a Suburban Hotwife

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A Surreal Afternoon

I heard Jay say in the background, “You’ve got to make him cum.”

At this the stranger quickened his pace in my mouth, his long cock gagging me as it hit the back of my throat. I had one hand around his balls, squeezing and kneading while the other rested on is thigh. He reached down and clasped the hand I had on his thigh to prevent me from stroking him. Soon his hot cum was filling my mouth as I heard him moan above me.

When it was done, Jay had me on my back, still blindfolded and tossed a dildo at me.

“Fuck yourself. We want to watch you cum,” he said.

- Memoirs of a MILF

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Grand Slam

I would tease him the whole way back to my apartment. The teasing ranged from me talking suggestively to rubbing close to his cock on the outside of his pants. I love to watch a guys cock dance as I touch around it. His cock was rock hard and pitching a nice tent when we arrived at my place. However, my teasing wasn’t done quite yet. As we walked to the door, I would periodically rub up against him. He would react by grabbing my ass or other part of my body in an attempt to tease back. My last bit of teasing happened at my door. I acted like I was going to unlock the door and “dropped” my keys. This gave me a chance to bend over in front of him and rub my ass up against his cock. He gave my ass a good slap and told me I was going to get more of this.

- The Neighborhood Slut

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Intellectual Pursuits

My inner thighs are stretched—echoing the space where his body was just hours before—legs wrapped tightly around his waist or torso or tossed haphazardly over my head or his shoulders.

My pelvis feel abused, mashed repeatedly with his lean, taut frame.

My breasts are tender things—sensitive to the touch—remembering bouncing furiously as he took me and being held tightly to his chest.

My cervix has the dull ache of being battered from behind—the position where his cock slid in the very deepest.

My arms and shoulders tell the tale of being on all fours...

And how.

- The Seduction of Infidelity

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The Perfect Phrase

"How often do you fuck him?" I asked her again, wanting a response to a previous question she'd been vague on. I had my cock right up against her slit, ready to push in.

"More than you," she answered, practically spitting the answer at me. Her tone was exceedingly caustic.

But that was it, that perfect turn of a phrase that made the whole scene super charged. More than you. The implication in those three words, that she'd been giving him her body while denying it to me, made me weak in the knees. I plunged into her, and it wasn't two minutes later I was spurting inside that amazing pussy, her words still ringing in my ears.

- Sex.Life.Blog

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See also: Sugasm #143: The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them (sugasm.com)

Thumbnail via Big Tits Boss (TGP/preview gallery @ realitykings.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Meet CJ: Not Just Another Hot Babe With No Hair

Jonnobot — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:55:12 EDT

We might have overlooked CJ here in last week's roundup of hot bald models, but that doesn't mean she isn't worthy of your attention—she didn't earn her title as Viv Thomas' current Babe of the Month for nothing, you know. Next time we do a roundup of Hot Bald Babes Who Also Happen To Be Pretty Handy With A Dildo, though, we'll make sure she's at the top of the list. (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

. . .

• CJ (profile @ vivthomas.com)

Up Close And Very Personal With The DIY Dildo Cam

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:20:55 EDT

Everyone knows that the difference between "erotica" and "porn" is the frequency of extreme closeups of a penis moving in and out of a vagina. But when you're shooting your own personal amateur masterpiece at home (and without the help of Swedish authorities) how can you get that special balls-eye view to make your final product look as good as the professional kind? Here's one solution: build your own homemade dildo cam! With a little glue, a few wires and some good old fashioned ingenuity, you can take viewers on a ride on that train as it enters the tunnel. (Note: Actually installing a camera in one's scrotum is still best left to the pros.)

· DIY Dildo Cam (homemade-sex-toys.com)

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The Curve (The Best Dildo Ever?)

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 13:39:03 EST

When we think of innovative sex toys, we rarely think of dildos. Unlike their vibrating sisters (brothers?), dildos tend to be pretty predictable: they mostly come in one shape, with limited variation in width and girth. Hence my delight at discovering the Curve, a uniquely shaped silicone dildo unlike any I've seen before — and I've seen a lot of them. With a pleasing form that proves that a sex toy doesn't need a motor to put a little buzz in your step, the Curve may just be my new favorite sex toy.

Though it looks a bit odd—phrases like "sea monster penis" and "Gonzo's dick" come to mind—an initial test drive showed that the Curve is definitely built for pleasure. Its bumps and lumps hit all the right spots, and the curved handle (get it?) makes it easy to rock back and forth, allowing you to find just the right angle for maximum enjoyment.

I realize that there may be unbelievers out there—those among you who cannot possibly imagine a dildo that could ever match the experience of your favorite vibrator. To you I say: I was like you once. Then I spent time with the Curve and about eight hours (and countless orgasms) later, I was finally able to pry it out of my hands and get back to work.

Yes. It's that good.

There is one down side to the Curve's design—what works well for solo play can lead to awkwardness in the hands of a partner. Though the handle makes playing alone ever so easy, its angle is a bit too sharp to be comfortably maneuvered by another person.

Other details to note: the Curve is made of silicone, which means it can be easily washed with soap and water, and—if you're good about cleaning—can be used as both a vaginal and anal toy (or shared with a trusted partner). For the best experience, we recommend using lubricant. The toy comes with a sample pack of Fun Factory Toy Fluid lube, but any water-based lubricant will do the job just fine. (Remember to avoid silicone-based lubricants, however, as these will destroy the toy and make you cry tears of salty regret.)

· Buy The Curve (babeland.com)

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Previously: Martial Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Our pal Davo's list of the most commented-upon...

Jonnobot — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:09:15 EST

Our pal Davo's list of the most commented-upon amateur porn clips of 2007 on his site reminds us all once again that it is indeed possible to type with one hand while your other one is otherwise occupied. Sure, it might take a little longer to finish typing a sentence that way, but at least you won't have to worry about getting your keyboard all sticky. (privatepornmovies.com)

Flesh Flicks: Super Size Me!

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:41:53 EDT

Why yes, that is one giant dildo. And judging by the title of this post and the eager looks of the participants, you can probably guess where it's going—but there's plenty more where that came from! Fists are flying into all kinds of spaces (sometimes two at a time!) and plenty of other (usually rubber) appendages get in on the action as well. These ladies accomplish quite a bit of filling up in a short amount of time, but the bottom line is that no challenge is too tough for them. Good thing there's no such thing as too much lube in times like this, right?

· "Double Fisting" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: Needs More Dirt

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:24:35 EDT

Yes, these two ladies are definitely engaging in some classic girl-on-girl action, but we don't think we would follow the example of whoever posted this video to Haporn and label them "dykes" in the traditional sense. And despite their enthusiasm for sticking large rubbery objects into various body holes, we wouldn't necessarily call them dirty, either. On the other hand, that double-sided dildo is all too real and who doesn't love a nice solid alliteration? So "Dirty Dildo Dykes" it is. If you can find a better title somewhere else ... buy it!

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· Dirty dildo dykes (haporn.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Evidently inspired by a certain regular...

Fleshbot — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:33:29 EDT

Evidently inspired by a certain regular visitor to our Marital Aid Test Kitchen features, Madonna was spotted leaving a London hotel carrying a "Purple Penetrator" strap-on dildo. Good to know that the old gal still has it in her. (So will Guy Ritchie, apparently.) (dailymail.co.uk; make like Madonna and order your own Purple Penetrator here)

While we're still dedicated to bringing...

Fleshbot — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 13:51:48 EDT

While we're still dedicated to bringing you the latest developments in sophisticated dildo technology, let's not forget that there's something to be said for the homespun delights of a plain old cucumber, a block of wood, and some duct tape as well. After all, who needs to go through all those AA batteries when everything you need to get off is probably sitting right there in your produce bin and hardware drawer already? (video @ sicksiteradio.com)

Porn trends may come and go, but hot blonde...

Fleshbot — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 13:33:47 EDT

Porn trends may come and go, but hot blonde amateur MILFs riding their dildos are forever. (Or at least for the couple of minutes it'll take you to watch this clip.) (m90.org, via phun.org)

Flesh Flicks: All Alone?

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:38:04 EDT

Here's one we missed from our "caught in the act" bonanza from last week. Even private bedrooms are not safe from the dedicated pervert and his hidden camera, although the lovely woman in this instance must not be too concerned about prying eyes after seeing the way she flaunts her pleasure in front of that poor unsuspecting teddy bear. He didn't ask to be put in that situation, but then again, he doesn't seem to be trying too hard to leave either.

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· "Girl masturbating" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: Let's Put On A Show!

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 19:02:04 EDT

Unlike our earlier adventurers, the woman in this video isn't trying to hide from anyone; in fact, being seen by the camera is kind of the whole point, especially since seeing her work that toy on grainy surveillance footage just wouldn't do it justice. We're also not entirely sure that she's an actual "college girl"—but when you're as enthusastic about what you're doing as she seems to be, who cares what your credentials are anyway?

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· "College Girl Masturbates" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

When Dildos Attack!

Fleshbot — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 13:45:09 EDT

Lest you think that most of the sex toys we post about around here are cute nubbin-covered thingies that whisper sweet nothings in your various orifices or outsize conversation pieces designed to collect dust on your coffee table, we should remind you that there exists a troupe of intrepid porn queens for whom too much is never enough when it comes to dildos that look more like heavy-duty ballistic devices than relationship-enhancing marital aids. In addition to featuring many of these gapetastic geniuses in action, BrutalDildos.com is at least equally notable for providing us with some of the best alliterative paysite copy we've come across lately: "Supernatural sex toys shredding our sluts!" "Titanic toys terrorizing these tight twats!!" "Young Virgin Vaginas Get Visciously Violated!" We'll leave it up to you to decide which is more painful: getting fucked by a dildo the size of a fire hydrant, or coming across the phrase "enormous elephant dong" on a hardcore porn site.

· Brutal Dildos (paysite previews @ brutaldildos.com, via Pornzio)
"Woman Gets Fucked by Monster Made of Dildos WTF?!" (TGP/preview gallery @ lesbopimp.com)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: King Kong Dildo, Flesh Flicks: Let An Ass Be Your Umbrella, Flesh Flicks: High Gear Insertion, Flesh Flicks: Pussy Foot(ball), Vagetarian Porn, Catching Up With The Galactic Girls, Flesh Flicks: Invasion Of The Monster Dick, Flesh Flicks: The Return of the Dino-Fuckers, Alien Dildos

Flesh Flicks: Life Lessons

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 16:30:19 EDT

As usual, we're not entirely sure how the title of this video applies to the content. We can't tell who the teacher is or if one or both of these girls are the pets, and once they break out the strap-ons and double dildos, it's definitely not clear who is schooling who. Perhaps it's a metaphor for how we all have something to learn about life and love, and maybe in the grand scheme of things we're all the "teacher's pet"? That must be it. We still don't know what the ass-to-ass portion symbolizes, but once we find out you'll be the first to know.

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· Teacher's Pets Mindy Michelle w/ Celeste Mulet (PornoTube)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Flesh Flicks: Open Legs, Insert Foot

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 12:45:45 EDT

We've seen women service men with their feet plenty of times, but an even more rare and special technique is female-on-female foot insertion. You normally wouldn't ask a friend to kick you in the crotch just for the fun of it, but you don't hear any complaints from the ever-plucky Belladonna here as she finds herself on the receiving end of a dildo-enhanced footjob. Or maybe you do, but you won't be able to decipher it since these chicks can't seem to stop talking over each other. One "fuck yeah!" at a time, ladies—otherwise our closed captioning system starts to get really confused.

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· Foot insertion (Haporn)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives