Apparently, a 60-year-old man was arrested, brought to trial and found guilty of goosing Minnie Mouse at Disney World. Yes, with his grandkids watching, he grabbed Minnie's titties right before someone snapped a photo and then, just for good measure, squeezed her ass. If the defendant, Mr. John Moyer, is a furry, does that mean he's being persecuted on basis of sexual orientation? If Minnie cannot speak, does that mean her right to say "no" is considered null and void? Or is it considered null and void because she's a mouse?

We concede, he was very wrong. We wouldn't want someone's grandpa coming to our job and feeling us up either.

*****

· Man Sentenced For Groping Minnie Mouse! (thefrisky.com)
· Thumbnail via Best Week Ever | VH1 Official Site (bestweekever.tv)

One Last Ride

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: David Lord
Cast: Bree Olson, Tori Black, Mia Lelani, Jamie Lamore, Ben English, Chris Johnson, Barrett Blade, Derrick Pierce

Review by: Gram Ponante

"My father told me, just before he died, to never mix blood and money," says Marco (Barrett Blade) to Bree Olson (who plays the character Bree) while explaining why he can't tell her what he does for a living. Then he dies. And somebody who says stupid stuff like that? I'm glad he's dead.

But Bree has lost her sugar daddy, and must make ends meet the only way she can. She hooks up with an even sketchier crowd, and becomes a car-boosting criminal stealing high-end vehicles for a limey crime lord (Ben English).

But as her crew of thieving hotties becomes more accomplished, Bree gets in over her head. She can only compensate by putting her ankles back there, too.

Does Bree learn to mix blood and money? I'm not sure, but given the mortality rate in this movie of people who say that, I'm glad she chooses not to utter those words, thus preserving her glorious pinkening fleshmass another day.

But what about tender, lesbian love? Oh yes: she figures that out. At the expense of all the men in the film, Bree discovers that a woman's affection is her personal rehabilitation program.

"One Last Ride" was shot beautifully, with lots of nighttime Los Angeles competing with the landscapes of Olson, Tori Black, Jamie Lamore, and Mia Lelani. There was also an utterly non-Adam & Eve-like stripper's ass-based coke-snorting sequence. But in porn I believe that the noir is inside us - I don't need to hear people externalizing it through dialogue; it's like capri pants on the wrong person.

"One Last Ride," a sort of "Thelma And Louise in 60 Seconds"-meets-"Oliver!" with extra scoops of Bree, is like the late-nite crime caper you endure hoping there will be sex in it that actually has sex in it. It is only later that you wish you'd forwarded through the rest of the stuff.

· Adam & Eve (afameve.com)
· Buy "One Last Ride" (gamelink.com)

· Dutch City Fears Loss of Pornography Archive (nytimes.com)
· Thumbnail: Porn not in the municipal collection (jerkmenow.com)

Read more about "Money Shot" after the gap.

"It's tough to imagine characters like Marlowe, Spade or even (Prather's) Shell Scott as cocksure immortal 18-year-olds," said Faust, whose Dare is a retired performer and a happy porntepreneur at the beginning of "Money Shot." Then things start going wrong. On the trail of an escaped prostitute/slave, some Eastern bloc baddies abduct and beat Dare, leaving her for dead in the back of a Civic. "Money Shot" is the story of her road to recovery and retribution.

Faust herself is a veteran fetish performer and filmmaker, and the snapshots she provides of porn personalities are vivid ones, from the chummy dysfunctional family porners can create once a certain amount of self-destructive behavior passes out of the system. We meet Dare as self-actualized as she probably thinks she can get at the beginning of the book, but it's her doubts - all of which are validated by the end - that make "Money Shot" such a compelling read.

"Too often, women who feature in adult videos are viewed as having hit rock bottom," Faust said. "I wanted Angel to be at the top of her game, smart, savvy and satisfied with the career she created for herself." Sadly, it's the trust she puts in men that inevitably proves unfounded. Flawed bastards.

"Money Shot" was released by New York-based publisher Hard Case Crime, and its books are perfect pocket-sized subway reads with satisfyingly lurid covers. (As the porn world is a fixture in a forgotten Los Angeles, so is its subway. People really do read there.)

· Christa Faust (christafaust.com)
· Wicked Pictures (hardcasecrime.com)
· Buy "Money Shot" (dorchesterpub.com)