Tom Byron's latest project, "Seasoned Players 11: Salt And Pepper," got us wondering why it took so long for Mr. Byron to add any spices into his tasty treats. Of course, now that he's used salt and pepper, where will he go next? That's where you come in.

Tell us: what are your favorite ways to spice up sex? This, of course, doesn't have to be literal. Then again, if you have a super kinky way to incorporate star anise and cinnamon into your love life, feel free to share with the world.

Post your entries in the comments section. Whoever presents a finger-licking-good blend of 11 herbs and spices will win a copy of Seasoned Players 11: Salt And Pepper, and hopefully influence Tom Byron's next film project.

And now to rule on last week's Elizabethan flirt-off. All of you: most impressive. junkzm3001's quick jab of game was sweet and to the point, and will likely be used by a certain Fleshbot employee at the clubs later tonight:

Parting is such sweet sorrow, unless it be the splitting of your legs.

Chicks dig Shakespeare, right?

Anyway, since the remaining entries are all from winners of previous Fleshbot contests, we have ourselves a real veteran battle. You are excellent combatants; grand writers, all of you. If we could, we'd split the DVD in thirds and give each of you a piece so that you could only watch it when you united the broken portions like that crown from Hellboy II: The Golden Army. But we won't do that.

So we declare: MalzyWheels is the winner! Observe, how he entices the females:

If I werst to compare thee to a frolicking summer's day,
wouldst thou look upon thyself as a lowly Summer's Eve?
Thou art so lovely, and so fine,
with golden locks of pearls draping around thine fair, beautiful face.
Thou bosom arst so ample, so healthy, so grand,
Like a majestic mountain range ye admires off in the vast horizon.
With a stout, strong frame, with padding whereat one wouldst expect,
I wouldst grasp unto to thee by the behind and mount thy person like a rabid dog.
But I get carried away with thyself.

That line about Summer's Eve gave us a bard-on (thanks to Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man for that gem). Still, readers should definitely go back and read the other entries, by Pinkie and Beaker.

Congratulations (again), MalzyWheels! You just brought The Curse of MacBeth upon yourself. We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Rich flavors of Jada Fire courtesy of 3rd Degree Movies (promo.thirdmovies.com)

We'd like to take a moment and thank Madison Young for presenting "The Curse of MacBeth" to the world. She has a lot of guts for fucking with Shakespeare (literally penis-and-vagina-ing Shakespeare), and it's something we'd like to see more of. As always, that's where you, the highly literate and ever-creative Fleshbot readers, come in.

For this week's contest, we'd like to hear you flirt. Spit your game in Shakespearean English for some fly 17th Century honeys. If you were approached by a couple of foxy wenches, what would you say to free them of their frocks? Imitate Shakespeare however you'd like; rhyme, meter, word choice, and confusing innuendos are just a few of the tools at your disposal.

Post your entries in the comments section. Perhaps your skillful persuasions will prompt parody porn directors to set their sights on some classic theater. Or maybe some you'll make an impression on some horny drama major. It's hard to say. What we can say is the winner will receive a copy of "The Curse of MacBeth" and mad Thespian street cred.

Speaking of street cred, it's time for us to give some out! Last week's odes to Lisa Ann produced some glorious work. If she read this site (does she read this site?), she would be most flattered. But this moment is not about Lisa Ann; it's about you.

As always, all of the entries were brilliant. Beaker delivered another volley of clever haiku. mattyte made a strong endorsement for MILF-assisted death:

Queen of the Cougars
Being mauled by Lisa Ann
Perfect way to go

On the longer side of things, Dethzilla treated us to a near-epic poem about reincarnation. We're guessing you'd need about a billion karma points to come back as anything close to Lisa Ann, but we nonetheless love the line the silent motorboat.

But we have to give it up to offred, whose adoration for Lisa Ann is only matched by his powers of iambic pentameter.

Ode to Lisa Ann (A Sonnet - my first attempt at one, be gentle)

Oh Lisa Ann, thy subjects will be true
Toward thy bosom, hanging like ripe fruit.
Its ample offers craft a heady brew,
That clouds the minds of even the astute.

By teaming with the fair Julia Ann,
Thou plays in waters leading thou to shiver.
To watch thy exploits will lead ev'ry man,
To tremble, with their manhoods all a-quiver.

When I was young and green in days of yore,
I quested vainly to attract a sylph.
Alas, I now know that which I adore;
The beauteous curves found only on a MILF.

My want for thou is not for Sarah Palin,
But to go rogue in a fit of heedless nailin'.

Anyone who rhymes "sylph" with "MILF" is a baller in our book. Congratulations, offred! You just earned yourself a fresh, soggy copy of Wet! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Madison Young picture via Jizz Bomb (nsgalleries.com)

Not that we're playing favorites, but Lisa Ann inspires us in ways few others can. She's won America's hearts (and genitals) with her Sarah Palin prowess, but she's also a golden girl in tons of other markets: MILF porn, interactive porn, huge tit porn, and POV porn in Santa gear, to name a few.

We figured it's about time to give back to the woman who's given so much to us. How? First, watch this video of Lisa and Julia Ann getting soaked, and then...

Write an ode to Lisa Ann. You can do it however you like: poems, flash fictions, and confessions are all accepted here. For example:

Her masterpiece smile
was painted wry and private:
Mona Lisa Ann

And that came from the heart.

Post your entries in the comments section. A week from now, we'll post the winning ode, and the author will receive a free copy of Wet. Good deal, right?

We still have to hold up our end of the bargain. Last week's contest produced some pretty astounding superheroes. All of the entries were certainly Stan Lee-worthy, and would undoubtedly make for some interesting hentai (future job, anyone?).

Once again, Beaker's work deserves mention: his Muffin Man and Wanker Woman would be the perfect poster children for a (very loose) safe sex campaign.

I personally felt a strong connection with doomsaber's villain: Penile Justice's arch nemesis, Bukkakia, is a former russian kgb spy who feeds off the seed of man. By performing sexual deeds (jerking off) to her victims and swallowing or being covered w/ their seed, Bukkakia has the ability to control any man she desires. Can't you see Bukkakia making a guest appearance in "Alexis Texas Is Buttwoman"?

But only one superhero can save our world from lonely nights and Barry Manilow, and that superhero is MalzyWheels, aka Sparky Joystick:

Malzywheels - By day a mild-mannered, disappointingly sexless disabled guy in a wheelchair who never garnishes a second look.

By night he becomes Sparky Joystick - A human electrified dildo who can find any Gräfenberg spot, no matter how elusive it is.

To maintain his superhuman stamina, Sparky Joystick requires a inhuman number of Kahlua sombreros, big, jiggly tits, and a electric wheelchair battery charger.

Not many things sap Sparky Joystick's power, but his mortal enemies all know that any song sung by Barry Manilow will turn this hero, sent from the Eros Nebula, into a puddle of mush.

The night has a thousand orgasms. All hail Sparky Joystick.

All hail, indeed. We're not sure what a "human electrified dildo" looks like, but we're glad to have one around. Congratulations, MalzyWheels! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Photo of literary Lisa Ann via The Lisa Ann (thelisaann.com)

Since our beloved superheroes, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, and Monica Mayhem, are busy with their own Super Friends Fuckfest, we're going to need some fresh crime fighters to take their places. We don't really have the time for trust-building and demonstrations of superhuman feats; we can only judge heroes by their names. That's where you come in.

Turn yourself into a superhero, complete with alias, strengths, and weaknesses. When you run into the phone booth, who comes out? We promise not to reveal your secret identity. As a show of good faith, I'll let you know my alter-ego:

By day, mild-mannered blogger Ottimo Massimo trolls the internet for nudie pics... But at night, he is Massimorph: the mild-mannered blogger whose penis can transform into any sex toy on the market!

We're not going to force you to make the superhero name sex-centric, but this is Fleshbot, the name should be somewhat erotically-aligned. (And yes, you can present it in limerick form if you'd like.)

Post your entries in the comments section. Next week, we'll give our favorite hero or heroine a brand new copy of Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1!

For now, we'll have to stave off next week's fantasy with last week's fixation.

As always, many thanks to everyone who entered; you all definitively proved your dedication to large breasts. The only exception would be Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man, whose declaration of admiration for miniscule mammaries will surely earn him a spot on the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (it was, nonetheless, a beautiful and moving speech).

Many props go to SexyHard for still repping the limericks, and also for pointing out that breasts are also enjoyed by their owners:

Lynn loves when I suck on her tits.
She cums when I nibble her nips.
They shake and they wobble
As I lick and gobble
Them up like two succulent clits.

But the grand prize goes to Beaker! All four of his haiku were grand, and you should go back and check the others out, but here's one that captures the overall tone:

The poker player
Is in a quandary now.
Two pair ... huge ... she wins!

Ah yes, large boobs do win. And so do you. Congratulations, Beaker! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Monica Mayhem, superhoney of "Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1," via Be The Mask (bethemask.com)

Earlier this week, we watched as Tom Byron wrestled with a new addiction with breasts... vicariously through Derrick Pierce's penis. The way we see it, we need to help Tom out. Some people might suggest sending him through a twelve-step tit program and cleaning him up, but it's really more fun to sink to his level. With that in mind:

Write an ode to big breasts. I think we all know how this one goes, so an example isn't really necessary. For consistency's sake, here's a quick haiku on the topic:

Big Tit Fixation,
If only nipples had sight:
Eye contact achieved.

Not my finest work, but you get the idea.

You can write the ode however you choose. Haiku, limerick, sonnet, story, anecdote, pledge of allegiance, whatever; but keep it short and sweet.

Post your entries in the comments section. In one week, we'll give the winner a hot dose of Vitamin-B(oob) with his or her very own copy of Big Tit Fixation!

And now this week's winner must be named. As always, the entries were lovely, and deeply honest. We especially appreciate the chutzpah SexyHard put into the slew of limericks he wrote (and we hereby pledge to have more poetry contests). But we're going to have to give the grand prize sueslovemaster for his redecorating game:

College in the late 70s... how to stand out from all the guys competing for the most limited of resources: willing females. Bright idea: cover every surface of the rented bedroom with aluminum foil. Ceiling. Windows. Walls. Dresser. Door.

It worked but I still get ribbed by the surviving college buddies.

How did that possibly work? We desperately want to hear the details.

Anyway, congratulations, sueslovemaster! You have skipped the lines, passed the velvet rope, and the free copy of "Sexclusive # 2" is all yours. We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Carmella Bing, star of "Big Tit Fixation," via Big Tit Boss (realitykings.com)

Everyone knows that one of the most poppin' clubs around is "Sexclusive #2", but it's so hard to get in! There's always a long line, and the bouncer only lets in people he likes. Lucky for you, we know he has a soft spot for embarrassing stories. Here's how you win the bouncer's favor:

Tell us the most ridiculous thing you've ever done to try to seduce someone. There's no need to be graphic or write an epic of unrequited love. You don't have to adopt a fancy style or put it in iambic pentameter. Even if your efforts were fruitless, let us know. For example:

"Back in the day, I tried to get a girl in the mood by putting on Peter Gabriel's So. I thought it was very John Cusak of me. Unfortunately, she liked it so much that she didn't even want to make out. We ended up listening to the whole album, repeating 'In Your Eyes' three or four times."

As always, brevity is levity and timing is everything.

Post your entries in the comments section. By next Friday, the bouncer will have decided who gets a free copy of Sexclusive # 2!

But now, let's see who will be raiding Ashlynn's ark with a brand-new copy of "Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures In Sex."

All of the entries were beyond Spielberg-worthy. We're especially happy that no one decided to utilize Willie from "Temple of Doom."

Some of the best entries were short, sweet, and direct. greatvoldo's brainchild, Ashlynn Brooke and the guy from next door was powerfully understated. Likewise, one of Beaker's visions, Ashlynn Brooke and the Axis of Ass is so simple that it deserves reposting here:

"Indiana Brooke stumbles on an evil plot to make anal intercourse the only acceptable sexual act. Dr. Brooke demonstrates how this misguided effort would adversely affect procreation."

Masterful, and kudos for remembering to call her "Dr. Brooke."

As odd as it may sound, we have to give it up to one of the commenters who took advantage of Nazi sexual-inadequacy. Pinkie's entry, Ashlynn Brooke And The Arc Of Triumph, was especially Nazi-tastic; the climactic scene finds Ashlynn anally dominating the SS commander, while all of his female troops are ravished by monks. Terrific.

That being said, congratulations, Pinkie! You win the "Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures in Sex" Contest! Let's take another look at your entry:

Title: Ashlynn Brooke And The Arc Of Triumph

Plot: Ashlynn must find the Arc Of Triumph, a mythic artifact rumored to guarantee dominance to its possessor, before the Nazis can. After several close calls with rival searcher Major Koksennhandt (and his crack squad of female SS commandos, the TotenFokkers), Ashlynn finds the Arc in an ancient monastery lost in the Arabian deserts. The monks who guard the Arc tell her that she must prove herself worthy; this involves gangbanging the entire order of monks. Only then do they allow her to see the Arc Of Triumph: a huge, curved crystal strap-on dildo. As she reverently straps the Arc about her waist, Major Koksennhandt and the TotenFokkers burst in, levelling guns at Ashlynn and the monks. The Arc Of Triumph indeed guarantees Ashlynn dominance, as Koksennhandt is overcome with desire. She ass-fucks the major into submission, while all around her the monks are fucking the TotenFokkers beyond the limits of Nazi endurance.

It's a bit long, but it hits the spot. Enjoy your adventures with the lovely Dr. Brooke! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Regina Moon, star of "Sexclusive # 2," via Pix and Video (pixandvideo.com)

On Wednesday, we all watched Ashlynn Brooke's adventure through the kitchen of doom (and aproned boobs). As we all know, Ashlynn's been extremely bold throughout her luxurious career. With that in mind, we ask you to describe Ashlynn's next Indiana Jones-esque adventure. Here's how it works:

Imagine Ashlynn Brooke's next movie as if she were Indiana Jones. Simple enough, right? For example:
"Ashlynn Brooke and the Kingdom of the Crystal Dildo" (Thanks, Lux!)
Feel free to fill in some key plot points, but keep in mind brevity is always best.

Post your entries in the comments section. We'll let you know our favorite next week, and the would-be filmmaker will win a copy of Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures in Sex!

Last, but not least, we have to declare a winner in the "House of Ass 11" Contest. Many thanks to everyone who entered. All of the limericks were brilliant, funny, and—most importantly—insightful. derekuw, for example, had a tri-limerick about entering the House of Ass that reminded us of Paradise Lost, but in reverse. We loved the quick punchiness of bokkimanko's limerick, especially the line about "weapons of ass destruction." You are all magnificent writers.

However, the Grand Prize goes to...
boodie4daze!

Here's the award-winning poem:

O' smack on that proud bulbous mass
As it juts from this tramp stamped lass
She backed that shit up
Like a down-facing pup
And I painted one big House of Ass

I feared, in a manner of speaking
That the neighborhood might tend toward reeking
But when I got round the bend
And approached the rear end
The House of Ass was above all critiquing.

Congratulations! Enjoy your well-earned copy of "House of Ass 11" and all that it symbolizes. We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Fancy, foxy Ashlynn via AshlynnBrooke.com (nsgalleries.com)

Earlier this week, we showed you a clip from "Tom Byron's House of Ass 11" with the lovely Jessica Bangkok breaking out her bodacious bottom. Use that ass as your muse and create a poem with as much vibrance and bounce as that body part we keep talking about. Here are the rules:

Describe your first trip to the House of Ass. What did you do? Who did you meet? What is the house like? Was it, perhaps, haunted?

All entries must be in the form of a limerick. For those of you who aren't familiar with the style, here's an example entry (from an unnamed source):

Approaching the great House of Ass,
I cut a quick path through the grass.
The House said, "You boob!
Don't step on my pubes!"
And now I can't enter. Alas!

Post your entries in the comments section. We'll let you know our favorite next week, and the author will win a copy of House of Ass 11!

· Literary babe: Jessica Bangkok (realitykings.com)

Pink Visual and Fleshbot have teamed up to bring you Kinky Games, an iTouchHer web app that's powered by you, the people. Have an idea for a game? Submit it in the comments—and if your game is one of the best, you'll win a free membership to iPinkVisualPass. Pretty sweet, right?

Here's the official breakdown of how it all works:

Fleshbot users will submit game ideas for the Fleshbot iTouchHer web-app (www.kinkygames.com) to be voted on by other Fleshbot users. The top vote-getters will then be judged cooperatively by the Fleshbot editors and the porn purveyors at Pink Visual to decide the Gold, Silver, and Bronze winners.

The three winners will see their custom games created by Pink Visual and added to the Fleshbot iTouchHer web-app. The Gold winner will also receive a free 6 month membership to Pink Visual's mobile porn site, iPinkVisualPass, while the Silver and Bronze winners will receive 3 month and 1 month subscriptions, respectively.

To be considered for implementation, game submissions must be conceptualized to operate within the basic parameters of the Fleshbot iTouchHer web-app (see sample game at Kinky Games) and must not include any content concepts that are considered illegal within the United States.

Please click here to read this contest's terms of use and other fun fine print.

· Previously: iTouchHer: Adult Games For The iPhone

Why, by entering our little contest! We're making a limited number of spots on the guest list available to our most eligible readers. Want in? Send us an email with the following info...and you (yes, you!) might just find yourself partying down with the staff of Fleshbot next month.

Please send:

- Your legal name (for the guest list, not to be published on the site)
- Your commenter name, if you have one
- A picture of yourself looking your Fleshbottiest (picture must be of you—don't try to fool us with pornstar pics!)
- A statement indicating that you are over the age of 18
- Answers to these three questions:
1) What does Fleshbot mean to you?
2) If you were a sex toy, what kind of sex toy would you be?
3) What Crush Object are you most like, and why?

Once we've gotten the entries, we'll be posting a few of our favorites to the site—so don't send us anything too dirty (unless you're naughty like that).

[NB: Please be aware that this contest is for party entry only. If you win, you are responsible for your own travel and lodging costs. Fleshbot can not be held responsible for any inappropriate flirting that Brian O'Brien may engage in at the event.]

· Thumbnail stars: Party guests Justine Joli and Arpad Miklos

Clip 1: What's the film playing in the drive-in? "The Arena" starring Pam Grier.
Clip 2: Which Russ Meyer starlet appears in this scene? Raven De La Croix.
Clip 3: What traditional courting ritual do the two groups engage in at the head of this scene? A mating dance.

Alas, no one managed to get all three correct—so we're going to award the prize to the first person who managed to get two out of three. Congrats to mgorf2005—and check your private messages for information on how to claim your prize.

· Severin Films (severin-films.com)
· Buy "Screwballs": DVD and Blu-Ray (amazon.com)

Of course, we're not giving it away to just anyone: if you want the DVD, you gotta do a little work. We have three trivia questions—one for each clip—that you'll have to answer. Take a peek at what we're asking, leave your answers in the comments below, and we'll be back next week with a winner.

Clip 1: What's the film playing in the drive-in?
Clip 2: Which Russ Meyer starlet appears in this scene?
Clip 3: What traditional courting ritual do the two groups engage in at the head of this scene?

· Severin Films (severin-films.com)
· Buy "Screwballs": DVD and Blu-Ray (amazon.com)

Chaira Noir. With 26% of the vote, the clear people's champion, followed by Scarlet Horizon, Victoria Saint, Annabella Scarlett, and Harlow Saint. We, for one, will be closely tracking Chaira's career—you can be we'll be showcasing photos of her as soon as we got our hot little hands on them.

Previously: Name Porn's Next It Girl: The Top Five Names

With no further ado:

Our thanks to everyone who played along: MissreadLogic, LisaAuge, samanthajean, and McGooey, keep an eye out for a private message on your profile page telling you how to collect your prize!

We're giving you—yes, you—the chance to name this girl. Wrack your brain for the greatest and best porn name ever (note: Gram's already got the rights to Sassy McSassypants), then leave your submissions in the comments (we'll be collecting them all week!). After this lovely lady and her people have had a chance to think things over, we'll be back next week with the top five selections—which you, yes, you, get to vote on.

But wait, there's more! Because your creativity deserves a reward, anyone who lands in the coveted top five slots will receive an autographed 8"x10" from Porn's Next It Girl. And as for the lucky winner of this contest—not only will you gain eternal bragging rights, you'll also receive a thank you phone call from Porn's Next It Girl herself!

So what are you waiting for? Get to brainstorming—or at least browsing through this gallery for a little inspiration.

Disclaimer: Please note: If you submit a name idea and it is chosen as the model's new stage name, pursuant to the contest rules and agreement, you relinquish any ownership or claims to the name. At this point the model owns the name and any rights associated with this name. Claims to names that are not chosen pursuant to the contest rules remain under your ownership and are free to be used again.

The picture to the left shows Isabella Rossellini (of "Green Porno" fame) amongst a variety of animal penii. Can you identify the highlighted one? Leave your guess in the comments—and if you pick right, you'll get the chance to win a prize from Sundance.

So what are you waiting for? Get guessing! (And if you need a little help... this gallery should give you some clues.)

· Name That Schlong (sundancechannel.com)

Of course anything with Cassandra Calogera in it is "Jerkoff Material." If she were riding the bus, the destination window would say Jerkoff Ahead. Where most people say "Bye" when hanging up the phone, Cassandra Calogera's friends sign off with "Jerking Off Now!"

I hear she even greets people at holiday barbecues with specific areas in the yard where people can jerk off to her. It's like she's a cyborg crafted from space age alloys and jerkoff material.

So your job this week is to come up with a title that is less obvious but still takes into account there are fleshy minxes lolling about on the cover demanding to be jerked off to.

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
· Buy "Jerkoff Material 2" (gamelink.com)

There was a time when all pussies were hairy. Who would think of shaving them? And once upon a time Coca Cola was just that, until the famous Formula changed, the public bawked, and the original version had to be brought back and renamed Coca Cola Classic.

But now that even your mom shaves her parts, we need titles like "Hairy Pussy P.O.V." to let us know that we are about to witness some kind of freakshow.

Fleshbot readers, be like unto last week's happy few and tell us what this movie might have been called had it been released in 1984.

· Richard Lederer (verbivore.com)
· Buy "Hairy Pussy POV" (gamelink.com)

Fleshbot Readers, your answers to last week's contest were so thoughtful that we thought we'd resurrect another chestnut from sophomore year in high school that re-emerged meaning something totally different freshman year in college: "The Stranger."

While all porn (aside from "Naked Happy Girls") reveals a darkness, please create for this week a porn title that would make a Galois-smoking, coffee-rank, beturtlenecked and Algiers-lounging existentialist proud.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Deep Anal Abyss 2" (gamelink.com)

All right, so "Head Case" is a movie about blowjobs, I guess, according to the copy we received from the studio's PR firm:

Not one ounce of liquid love is wasted as these girls suck and tug their way to your happiness.

...but you can forgive me for thinking from the title that the flick is about the Insane. It's a common mistake. I am especially sensitive to this because I went to see "Titicut Follies" because I thought it was a porn movie.

So maybe that's not what producers meant, at all.

In the room the women come and go
Talking about Fellatio

Your job this week is to mine porn titles from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and, if you're especially skilled, you will be like last week's winner and smooth us with long fingers.

· 3rd Degree Films (thirddegreefilms.com)
· Buy "Head Case 5" (gamelink.com)