Fleshbot: straight, classics

"Ejacula 2" The Future

Gram Ponante — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

In 1993 the world met "Ejacula," a vampiress who, probably because she was immortal, missed the memo that Duran Duran fashions had expired several years earlier. But we also met Tonisha Mills. Two years later the whole "Ejacula" gang returned.

"Ejacula 2" is just as inscrutable as the first, but damn did porn have money back then. Shot in Europe with an all-star cast including the young Rocco Siffredi and the even-then-only-allowed-to-work-with-his-shirt-on Ron Jeremy, "Ejacula 2" follows the uneven acting of several careless guests, a couple of vampire hunters, Lynn LeMay, and a coven of vampires on one wild weekend featuring, as the boxcover says, "an outdoor BJ" and "ass eating."

This movie symbolizes porn excess in that no one cared if the acting or story or camera work was good as long as the women became naked. Since the women do (in a 14-person orgy scene, no less), to find fault with what is now a cultural artifact seems like elder abuse.

Tonisha Mills and Lynn LeMay look lovely as always, and Ron Jeremy overacts to perfection.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Ejacula 2" (tlavideo.com)

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Blue Balls In Hell: "The Devil in Miss Jones"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Suicide spinster Justine Jones discovers that Hell truly is other people in the re-released edition of "The Devil in Miss Jones."

The Devil in Miss Jones

Studio: VCX
Director: Gerard Damiano
Cast: Georgina Spelvin, Claire Lumiere, Erica Haven, John Clemens, Harry Reams, Gerard Damiano (As Albert Gork)

Review by: Gram Ponante

This deluxe edition contains two versions of the film plus a lengthy interview with star Georgina Spelvin. Having never seen the movie (nor have I seen "Deep Throat," "Behind the Green Door," or "Debbie Does Dallas"), I also knew nothing about it, and was impressed by Spelvin's acting as well as the story.

But not the sex. I watched the hardcore version (because life is short) and can't imagine how the softcore version could be softer.

Plain Jane Justine Jones, a spinster, is a suicide. She takes one last look from her apartment window onto the New York City of 1973, retires to a bathtub, and slashes her wrists.

She finds herself in the office of Mr. Abaca, who fumblingly tells her that, since her "accident," she is no longer a candidate for heaven, where her otherwise pristine and virginal life would have sent her - had she not committed suicide.

"I've done nothing to warrant this," she says. "If I could do it again, I would live a life filled, engulfed, consumed with lust."

Mr. Abaca, in the middle of a slow day, gives her her wish.

Justine meets The Teacher (Harry Reams) who must strip her of her inhibitions prior to her return to the mortal world. After inserting an eensy plug into her anus (it was a simpler time), she gives him a blowjob and then, demonstrating a passive aggressiveness that would make me send her to Hell if I ran things, asks that he fuck her but then gets squeamish about how big he is.

"Will you - be gentle?" she asks.

"No," The Teacher says.

So Miss Jones learns the ways of the flesh with the Teacher, who sends her a few other partners to round out her education.

The idea that Jones must earn Hell through a series of acts that today's average porn actress performs once an afternoon is daunting, and by contemporary standards we look at what she's doing as pretty wholesome, sex positive, and liberated.

I expected that Jones, shown how her frigidity kept her from living a worthwhile life, would be sent back to New York to be a sex blogger or something. But she really is only granted a small reprieve from her eternal destination, and when she finally gets there she meets what might very well be the male version of her mortal self, played by Gerard Damiano.

This movie holds up well. We believe Miss Jones and we regret that a little anal sex with Harry Reams dooms her for eternity. Had she just not committed suicide, Miss Jones would have been assured buttloads of anal sex in heaven.

· VCX (vcx.com)
· Buy "The Devil in Miss Jones" (gamelink.com)

Amber Lynn, Circa '86

Gram Ponante — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:00:00 EDT

Amber Lynn has always been delightful, but can her 23-year-old movie "Perfect Partners" withstand the visible tan lines (on men) and leg warmers that characterized that bygone age?

In addition to Lynn and other all-natural (save for the hair structures), perky-breasted starlets like the throaty Tamara Longley and Sheri St. Claire, the recently-re-released "Perfect Partners" features the amazing ham acting of Joey Silvera, who could have probably used a couple of rails just to calm down.

The movie features Longley's character, the inscrutably-named Dr. Jean Valjean, as a therapist who becomes actively involved in her patients' marriages. The movie plays like "Behind the Scenes at CHiPs": Not only are there appearances by wife-servicing dudes Jamie Gillis and Mike Horner, but there is also a synth-vibe-heavy theme song and a freeze frame at the end.

I admit I picked up this movie for the cover; Lynn out-hair band molls any hair band moll I can think of, including domestic abuser Tawny Kitaen.

· VCX Pictures (vcx.com)
· Buy "Perfect Partners" (tlavideo.com)

"Aunt Peg" And Her Precocious Niece

Gram Ponante — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Hairy flaps. Belly fat. The used car lot bendy balloon that is John Holmes' schlong. Golden Age porn has that, but reisssued classic "Aunt Peg" also has niece-fucking and the leopardine Juliet Anderson.

Aunt Peg

Studio: VCX/Cal Vista/NuTech
Director: Wes Brown
Cast: Juliet Anderson, Serena, Seka, Jamie Gillis, John Holmes, Shirley Woods, Michael Ranger, Dotty Hart, Michael Morrison

Review by: Gram Ponante

One of the classics of porn's Golden Age, the recently re-released "Aunt Peg" (1979) is the story of Peg Norton (Juliet Anderson), a predatory, high class smut producer. There is no arc in this movie whatsoever, as Anderson remains a predatory, high class smut producer throughout.

Among the many noteworthy elements of this movie is the disco catchiness of the "Aunt Peg" theme, a blend of the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" theme and "I Will Survive" with its empowering message of women on the move. But there's a twist:

"You're a winner! You know that you are!
Everyone loves you!
They hang on your side!
Nobody knows what you're feeling inside!"

Now what the hell does that mean?

We as moviegoers yearn to find out what Peg's inner conflict is, based on the carrot dangled by the last line of the theme song. And what makes this movie a porn trendsetter is that we never find out. The lyric leads nowhere. It is as if - shocking - the uncredited lyricist just needed something to rhyme with "they hang on your side."

Juliet Anderson was just past 40 when she made this movie and she looks fantastic in it. Peg fucks everybody. In fact, there are only two scenes she's not involved in.

One is between the adorable Dotty Hart and John Holmes. According to Holmes biography "John Holmes: A Life Measured in Inches," short brunettes like Hart were just Holmes' type. They play two characters on one of Peg's porn sets stealing a little alone type in between filming, and their chemistry is palpable. Holmes massages Hart and we actually see the elusive, oft-referenced but seldom seen 69.

(Anderson never liked John Holmes, "Inches" reports, and was one of the few people in porndom who never succumbed to his coke-addled charms, possibly because she was older and less gullible.)

"Aunt Peg" also is a pioneer of porn tropes like the Ridiculous Pickup Line.

Soon after the credits roll, Peg gives her production assistant of four years (the still-around Mike Horner) a handjob. For reasons that are utterly unclear given her promiscuous behavior throughout the movie, she has never coupled with him before. Her pickup line: "How long have you been working for me, Bill?"

It is not, however (and as I had erroneously thought) the source of the term "pegging." There is no such behavior in this movie.

Later Peg and an actress named Holly McCall team up on Billy Dee, an afro'd performer who obviously took his nom de porn from the actor who originated the role of Lando Calrissian but who instead was a ringer for Ted Lange.

"I want his hot tongue in my juicy clit," says Peg.

Meanwhile Peg's niece, Sheila (Sharon Kane) is in the Midwest hoping to visit her favorite aunt in liberal San Francisco. She has admired her older relative ever since she caught Peg fucking her dad.

(Wait for it...)

"I saw you and Daddy making love," Sheila says. "I got so wet that I had to run out to the living room and fuck my boyfriend."

This, dear friends, is why porn thrived despite poor acting (the exception in this movie is Jamie Gillis, who can teach Evan Stone about the word "ham"): there are things in some of these early movies that are just a little shocking. Then there's more: Sheila is only 16.

As she's packing to go, her boyfriend laments her impending absence.

"Who will I have to hold? And to hug?" he pleads.

"School will be starting in three weeks," she says. "You know? 12th grade?"

By now we can see that the movie only has a little more left to go and we wonder what the possible resolution could be. Well, there is none. Sheila gets to San Francisco (we see Anderson and Kane at the arrivals terminal of SFO), they get in a car, and they fuck. Related? No problem. Just 16? No problem. This was 1979.

"You're only 16 and you have the body of a woman, Sheila," says Peg, laying it on. Then the movie ends.

Of course, it is only illegal for actual minors to perform in porn movies. Kane was 24 playing Peg's 16-year-old niece. And "simulated incest" is only creepy, not a crime.

I can't imagine that anyone has ever thought "Aunt Peg" was a good movie. But it is a sensational movie. And sensational movies aren't usually good. That said, "Aunt Peg" is pretty damn good for a sensational movie (and if you look closely, both Kiss and Mork make cameos).

· VCX (VCX.com)
· Buy "Aunt Peg" (gamelink.com)

Popshots of the Week! Irrational Exuberance Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:30:19 EDT

Just when you thought that you'd be Palin/Paylin-less this week, remember that it's the Halloween before a major election. Let's just hypothesize that, in the spirit of this space's inaccurate prediction of the Patriots' chances in the 2008 SuperBowl, that McCain/Palin bucks polls and makes it into the White House next week. What will we do then? Well, we'll have to choose between Lisa Ann and Raquel Devine. (But we'll do it from Canada, of course.)

Is Lisa Ann and Raquel Devine made special effort to channel the Veep nominee, the delightful Alana Evans was just blonde as Cindy McCain. We approve this choice.

Marilyn Chambers meets another magical Amazon in Hollywood last week.

Brand new Digital Playground contract star Angelina Armani^TM looks to the east on Sunset Boulevard. "I'm from New York so I'm just getting used to it out here," she said.

Let's hope this is not the view we get of Obama (played by Steve Driver) on November 4.

"Ejacula" Makes You Want To Stoker

Gram Ponante — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:00:32 EDT

You'd think that if a sexy vampiress were to have a choice of where to bite her porn movie victims, it would not be the neck. But you would also not guesss that Ron Jeremy could so completely disappear into and inhabit a role as in his interpretation of a worm-eating hunchback in 1993's "Ejacula."

Ejacula

Shot in a castle somewhere in Europe with a German and Italian crew, Ejacula details the exploits Ejacula (Patricia Kennedy) and her consort (Rocco Siffredi) and their faithful hunchback as they have sex parties, chow down on delightful, fleshy Tonisha Mills, and somehow move through the sunlight without burning to a crisp.

The plot doesn't make too much sense but it also doesn't get in the way, and Method Man Ron Jeremy acts up a storm.

The real discovery for this smitten viewer is Mills, who suddenly de-Springerized the name "Tonisha" for me.

Studio: VCA
Director: Max Bellocchio
Cast: Tonisha Mills, Lynn Lemay, Patricia Kennedy, Caroline Monroe, Lois Ayers, Beatrice Sall, Vivian, Elizabeth, Allesandra, Ron Jeremy, Rocco Siffredi

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Ejacula" (tlavideo.com)

Very Little Ass, Even Fewer Vampires: It's "Vampirass"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:00:00 EDT

The woman on the box isn't in the movie. The breasts are mostly real and the pubes are abundant. Pale flesh slaps against even more pale flesh, and we can count the little creases as well as smell the mounds of cocaine in the next room. Today's horror porn takes us back to 1993 and that year's "Vampirass."

Vampirass

With a title like Vampirass, I was surprised Suspiriass didn't show up a week later. But what do I know?

I decided to transcribe Rick Blaine's script:

Darkness

SFX: Single wolf HOWL over RAINDROPS

CUT TO:

INT. RICHMAN REAL ESTATE OFFICE

NIKKI RICHMAN is on the phone.

NIKKI
I don't care. I want that listing. Got it?

NIKKI hangs up and immediately begins masturbating. When she is done, the phone rings

SFX: Phone RINGS

NIKKI
Yes, I am the agent for the Delmonico Estate. What a coincidence. I was just thinking about the former owners.

CUT TO:

INT. Delmonico Estate

This video (shot in 1993, it's actually a video on DVD) is filled with pleasant associations. Bright VHS-style lighting, pubic hair, the type of dialogue and editing that will forever be associated with porn movies, and - something I haven't seen before - a sequence where the camera cuts to a guy's face as he says "Ahhh! Lick it off your lips!" and then cuts to the woman's face and holds for two seconds before he comes. It was as if his dialogue actually came later but was inserted before the cumshot by mistake. Fun!

Vampirass is really, really bad. But you know how things have devolved to the point that people say, "It's not 'so bad it's good' bad but actually bad"? Well, this movie fits into that Can't Stop the Music category of So Bad It's Good. I have a feeling that everyone who made the movie (and everyone who subsequently watched it lo these past 15 years) was high.

Especially a woman named Madison, who plays a witch in one of the few flashbacks that actually pertains to the plot (the rest are just excuses for sex). Madison can't seem to get the ants off herself. It shouldn't be funny. It is probably tragic. But everything was funny if it happened a decade and a half ago. Remember the L.A. riots? ROFL!

Turns out the woman who once owned the house was Vanessa (Teddi Austin), who abandoned the home under mysterious circumstances (we see in a flashback what those were). Now her old friend Nikki (Gail Force) has the home listing ("It's the least I could do for Vanessa" she says - ?) and is showing it to a third old friend (Ashley Dunn), who explains that she got $30 million in a divorce, as well as a mulleted bodyguard.

After touring the home, which includes a visit to a room where "Vanessa did rituals" ("This place gives me the creep," Dunn says) Nikki and Dunn go to work on the bodyguard, as the same wolf sound effect repeats in the background. Always be closing, Nikki!

The girls figure out a way to bring back Vanessa from limbo, but crazy Madison has ripped out a page from the spellbook and Vanessa comes back bearing bad news. Since the ritual wasn't followed to the letter, everyone is a vampire!!!!!!!LOL!

SFX: Wolf howls

INT. BASEMENT DUNGEON

The women look up at the camera and they now have vampire teeth.

FREEZE FRAME

CAPTION: We'll be back

Of course they never were. Vampirass is a fantastically awful movie.

Studio: VCA
Director: Michael Black
Cast: Madison, Gail Force, Ashley Dunn, Teddi Austin, Brandi Blaxxx, Tom Chapman, Ted Wilson, Don Fernando, Cameo

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Vampirassto" (gamelink.com)

Shanghai Poon: Kung Fu Fucking

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:25:24 EDT

Forget combining porn and video games—we want to see more people combine porn and kung fu movies! Really, it's a natural combination: both porn actors and kung fu stars can get pretty acrobatic with their special moves and fancy abilities, and you wouldn't have to worry about any of that uncanny valley stuff either. Good thing someone did make a porn clip like that. Sometimes, we really do get what we wish for.

· Acrobatic China Sex (youporn.com - thanks Laust!)

Topless Power Rangers: Still Go-Going Strong!

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:10:15 EDT

The great thing about the internet is that nothing ever dies. (Or is that the worst thing?) This Power Ranger porn clip is almost as old as we are, and has certainly been featured in its fair share of "OMG, Japanese porn is so weird!!!11!" blog posts. But every time we come across it, it still manages to delight us nonetheless. So even if you've seen it before, watch the whole thing again because it just keeps getting better and better. Plus, is it really any more bizarre than the actual Power Rangers TV show, with its cheap fake dinosaurs and cardboard special effects? The Smurfs weren't your only childhood pals knew how to get kinky.

. . .

· Moma Ranger (zappinternet.com - thanks Ariel!)

Porn Of The (Previous) Moment: "Paging Betty"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:21:03 EDT

Selina St. Clair made all her adult movie appearances in 1994, including "Paging Betty," to be rereleased next week by VCA Pictures. This was a surprisingly charming movie with St. Clair flashing back to the days before she met her husband, "and I don't regret a thing." Appearances by Steven St. Croix, who still performs, and Jonathan Morgan, who now directs, fill out a cast that also includes a spirited woman named Jasper.

That this is how porn looked the year "Pulp Fiction" came out is an odd thing to think about.

· "Paging Betty" (DVD info @ hustlervideo.com)
· See also: Selina St. Clair (videography @ adultfilmdatabase.com)

Classic Kylie: She's Playing Basketball Players

Gram Ponante — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:48:18 EST

"Did 'Space Jam' really come out in 1996?" I asked co-workers at Fleshbot West when "Face Jam", an 11-year-old Kylie Ireland chestnut from VCA Classics, arrived. Remembering the original had something to do with Bugs Bunny, and its porn parody taking place in a strip club where basketball players bed the dancers, I thought again of the "The Da Vinci Load", where the porn knockoff was miles better than the original.

· Kylie Ireland (kylieireland.com)
· Buy "Face Jam" (hustlervideo.com)

It looks like "Caligula"—you know,...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 13:13:23 EDT

It looks like "Caligula"—you know, the universally panned 1979 artsy porn movie starring three Oscar winners and written by Gore Vidal that's now being rebranded as a "classic"—is getting the deluxe multi-disc "special edition" DVD treatment. You haven't really seen Malcolm McDowell fist someone until you've seen it in high definition. (avn.com)

That 70's Porn: Time Traveling Through Smut

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 25 May 2007 10:55:53 EDT

Instead of going to the beach (too sandy) or a boring ol' BBQ (too saucy) this weekend, why not take a different trip—back in time to the 1970s, that magical era of natural boobs and unshaved privates, when porn came out of the closet and on to your bulky and expensive Betamax. That 70's Porn is a blog devoted to this golden age of adult cinema when the first true pornstars were born and "reality" was not a genre, but something to be avoided at all cost. All the legends can be found here, including some you probably never heard of or thought you'd see again. Since the industry hasn't always done the best job of preserving its history, it's quite a feat to track down all this material ... and amazingly corny clips like the one you'll find after the jump. If this reminds you a little too much of your own first time, don't worry: losing your virginity in real life was probably even more awkward.

- - -

· Vintage Porn - Teenage Fantasies (PornoTube)
· That 70's Porn - Classic Porn from the Golden Age (70sporn.thumblogger.com)

Previously: Debbie Did Dallas: The Search For Bambi Woods, Video Playpen: Classic Pornstar Tribute, Journey Without Clothes: Kay Parker on "Taboo", Klaus Harmony: "The Mozart of Porn", Papa's Retro Porn Movies, Vintage Porn Magazines @ Yurmag

Journey Without Clothes: Kay Parker on "Taboo"

Gram Ponante — Fri, 11 May 2007 21:14:31 EDT

Kay Parker was a student in an improv class when she met porn actor John Leslie in 1979. "I knew that when he asked me to be in a film with him that it was probably a porno," she said, but she went anyway.

That outing led to a meeting with director Kirdy Stevens. Parker talks about her experience making Stevens' groundbreaking "Taboo" series - each title dealing with a different societal no-no - in terms too rapturous to be believed today.

"There truly were mystical forces at work behind this whole endeavor," she said of her and Stevens' first effort, in 1980, in which she has sex with her son, played by Mike Granger.

Join us after the gap for more of Parker's interview, taken from the re-release of the series. - GP

***

Over the course of several movies that eventually substituted incest for gradually less-shocking subjects (and modern-day knockoffs only loosely cling to the original premise, with gonzos about smoking), "Taboo" featured career-highlight performances from the likes of Ginger Lynn, Lisa Lake, Ron Jeremy, Pamela Mann, and Nina Hartley. But it was Parker who seemed most moved by the gig.

"I got panicky at the penetration" she said of her first on-camera sex. "I knew that once it was shot, I was branded with an X forever. (But) I think there was an incredible energy between Mike and myself and God and Spirit."

Parker belongs to a generation that came to porn via a groovier route (it was San Francisco, after all.) Still, she was apprehensive when Stevens offered her the role of an "aging, abandoned woman."

"I was a little idealistic," she said. "But I thought, 'he's gonna make the movie anyway, so I might as well do it.'"

But she admits to having been attracted to Granger, so "I tried to infuse as much love into the scene as I could."

I do the same thing with my work for Gawker Media.

Parker said she was trying to be a "legitimate actress" but her plans got changed for her.

"I had to strip down naked to begin my journey," she said.

· Standard Digital (addictednow.com)
· Buy "Taboo" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Interview Archive