You know, of all the ways to go, we'd most gladly take Alfred Molina's death: post-coital, underneath a beautiful woman, completely unaware of the knives growing out of her spine. We should all be so lucky as to never see something like that. It's one thing to be a butterface, but you shouldn't really put up with butterspine.

· "Species" (1995) (imdb.com)
· Natasha Henstridge-Species1 (metacafe.com)

Every action star needs some love in his life, and there's nothing better for recuperating after a long day of roundhouse kicks than some dirty, impromptu bathroom sex. But if you really can't endure the sight of Jean-Claude's heavy brow interrupting this scene, just put a post-it over his face; it's worth it.

· "Maximum Risk" (1996) (imdb.com)
· Nude Celebs in HD - Natasha Henstridge (nudography.com)

Now we're not saying men (or women, for that matter) who are quick to finish without considering their partner's pleasure deserve death. With that in mind, this clip just shows the sexual snafu and the following few moments of transition. We'd like to imagine that after this disappointing encounter, the young man walks off and enrolls himself in a tantric sex workshop.

· The Final Destination (2009) (imdb.com)
· Video Clip of Gabrielle Chapin from The Final Destination (upcomingnudescenes.net)

Meet Nadia's cousin. She resembles Nadia in many ways. Well, really just two ways. Enjoy!

· "American Pie Presents: The Book of Love" (2009) (imdb.com)
· Video Clips of Various Actresses from American Pie: Book of Love (upcomingnudescenes.net)

Stacy Kiebler, Adrienne Curry, and Jaime Pressly showcase the best known bottoms in the roundup, yet they aren't necessarily our favorite. There's a lot of strong talent from lesser known heinies, and that's just judging butts alone. Don't get us wrong, we love fronts. The frontside of the body has a lot of neat stuff. But sometimes you just have to focus on the A portion of T&A. It's a yin-and-yang thing.

· Maxim.com's Booty Issue, Vol. 1 (maxim.com)
· Maxim.com's Booty Issue, Vol. 2 (maxim.com)

History shows that she's had a turbulent relationship with attire. Not that we're complaining or anything. She's just a sweet, innocent girl who has a bit of trouble keeping her frocks in place.

· Emma Watson Panty Peek (taxidrivermovie.com)

Admittedly, for some people, boobs and blood don't go together like peanut butter and chocolate. We at Fleshbot however, think it's disturbingly, well, hot. For those of you who are a little squeamish, just look at the boobs. There's almost nothing in nature more divinely hypnotizing.

· "Dexter" (sho.com)

In honor of American Pie: Book of Love, we're analyzing what makes these films work, and taking a look back at some of the finest moments in American Pie history. Most importantly, we'll decide which film is our favorite, and should be emulated by the upcoming DVD release.

American Pie:
Plot: B
Four friends—Jim, Oz, Finch, and Kevin—all vow to finally have sex (sadly, not with each other) by prom night. Oz softens his jocky image by joining the jazz choir, Finch pays a girl to spread rumors about his sexual prowess, Kevin tries to get back together with his girlfriend Vicky, and Jim tries to the seduce Czech foreign exchange student, Nadia. After various hijinks, the boys get laid. In addition, the boys seem to learn something about themselves, and grow as individuals.

Nudity: B-
Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is hot, of course. And while this is probably the most tasteful nudity of the whole series, it doesn't stand out against some of the other films.

American Pie 2:
Plot: C
The four friends reunite after a year of college and decide to rent a beach house for the summer. Beyond that, their goals differ and the film breaks up into various interweaving vignettes. Jim's plotline is the most vital in terms of franchise continuity, as he seeks help from Michelle (the girl he lost his virginity to in the first film) so he doesn't re-embarrass himself in front of Nadia. He ends up falling in love with Michelle. Hijinks throughout the film.

Nudity: B
The boys paint a house for cash. After a bit of peeping, the boys get caught by the house's owners (Lisa Arturo and Denise Faye)...

American Pie 3 aka (American Wedding):
Plot: B+
The final film of the original trilogy, and the last one to be released in theaters. After graduating college, Jim proposes to Michelle. She says yes. Hijinks happen all over the place. All the boys get involved, parents get involved, even Michelle's grandmother gets involved. But in the end, everyone gets laid, Jim and Michelle get married. Everything gets tied off rather nicely.

Nudity: B+
Officer Krystal (Nikki Schieler Ziering) and Fraulein Brandi (Amanda Swisten) grace Jim's bachelor party with the sexy ways of a bad cop (dominatrix? biker?) and a French (German?) maid. It's especially good once Michelle's parents show up.

Michelle's mom: You're a disgrace to the police force!
Officer Krystal: I'll be giving you an enema!

American Pie: Band Camp:
Plot: C-
This is the first of the American Pie straight-to-DVD apocrypha. It follows Matt, the younger brother of mischief making Stifler, as he is punished for his pranks by being sent to Band Camp. Matt initially resists making friends with any of the band geeks, but eventually builds a friendship with his roommate Ernie so the two of them can spy on girls. Like most summer camp movies, there are rivalries, young love, occasional nudity, hijinks, a piccolo mistaken for a dildo.

Nudity: C+
It's there, but it's missing something. The same voyeurism from the first film is repeated in shower/bathroom scenes, but with none of the interactivity. Here's one with Jennifer Walcott and Tara Killian.

American Pie: The Naked Mile:
Plot: D
Stifler's cousin, Erik (this movie is full of Stiflers), is about to graduate from high school a virgin. His girlfriend, Tracy, isn't ready to have sex, but she lets him go off to the University of Michigan for their annual Naked Mile run, in the hopes that he will find someone there to have sex with and quench his lusty desires. Indeed, he finds a college girl who has a thing for virgin boys, but he ultimately decides he wants to make love to Tracy. All in all, it's a nice touch bringing the plot back to a virgin. We'd just like to point out that the first scene of the film involves Erik faking sick to stay home from school so he can masturbate while his parents are gone. Unfortunately, his mom, dad, and grandmother interrupt him (they came back to look for a coupon) just a the moment of climax. He jizzes on his family and his grandmother dies of a heart attack.

Nudity: A
Naked. People. Everywhere.

American Pie: Beta House:
Plot:D-
Once again, we watch as young Erik Stifler battles his way to glory and vies for a place in the Beta Delta Xi fraternity. After many hijinks, he becomes a member of Beta. Unfortunately, a rival fraternity of nerds, the GEEKs, threaten on-campus partying. The GEEKs want the Betas to leave, the Betas want the GEEKs to leave. Finally, they hold a Greek Olympiad to decide which fraternity gets to stay. Beta wins. Partying continues. All in all, this is a carbon-copy of Revenge of the Nerds with the jocks as the heroes and more nudity. Speaking of which...

Nudity: C+
There's nudity, but it feels incidental. Although, we do give it up for this one scene with Angela Besharah.

And the winner is...

American Pie!
You can't deny the cultural significance of the original. It made "MILF" a household term; it made bakers put chastity belts on their pastries. It was the coming-of-age story that the late 90s desperately needed. To celebrate, here's that Shannon Elizabeth footage from before, with some extras thrown in.

· Clips via Celebcap.net (celebcap.net), Celebvids (celebvids.blog.hu), and Metacafe (metacafe.com)

Apparently, a 60-year-old man was arrested, brought to trial and found guilty of goosing Minnie Mouse at Disney World. Yes, with his grandkids watching, he grabbed Minnie's titties right before someone snapped a photo and then, just for good measure, squeezed her ass. If the defendant, Mr. John Moyer, is a furry, does that mean he's being persecuted on basis of sexual orientation? If Minnie cannot speak, does that mean her right to say "no" is considered null and void? Or is it considered null and void because she's a mouse?

We concede, he was very wrong. We wouldn't want someone's grandpa coming to our job and feeling us up either.

*****

· Man Sentenced For Groping Minnie Mouse! (thefrisky.com)
· Thumbnail via Best Week Ever | VH1 Official Site (bestweekever.tv)

Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)
Jessica Stroup (egotastic.com)

Not only does it feature Kanye West — who everyone either loves or loves to hate — it features Kanye's hot naked girlfriend. And do you know who the hot naked girlfriend is? Amber Rose, ex-lesbian model. So what is this ad saying to us? Something along the lines of: "These sneakers are so fresh that they have the power to convert lesbians who will subsequently be so impressed by your incredible style that they will faint dead away, naked, in your lap." Yeah.

· Via: The Insider (theinsider.com)

According to The Sun, she's the reason that Mel's marriage got all screwed up Monday, when his wife of twenty-eight years filed for divorce. We're sorry for all the trouble these celebs are going through — the only irreconcilable difference we have is with the bikini top Oksana is lamentably wearing.

***

· Via Oksana Pochepa Maxim Magazine Photos - Mel Gibson's Girlfriend (americanidol2006blog.blogspot.com)

Until wide-eyed, wholesome Anne Hathaway starts posing topless for the lad mags, we're going to happily take what we can get and admire her perky tits through a very very thin (but very chic, of course) layer of fabric. Is that really so wrong?

· cityrag: 10 Most Outrageous See-Throughs (cityrag.com)

This amazing video roundup showcases the Top Ten Greatest Moments in Celebrity Boob Grabbing History. What are the optimum levels of fame, desire and bravery one must possess to grab, say, ScarJo's boobie? On the red carpet, no less? A careful study of these videos should prepare you for what to do when someday the opportunity to squeeze some famous titties presents itself to you.

Via Manofest: Masculinity Times Infinity. (manofest.com)

Lead image courtesy of Daily Blabber Celebrity Gossip Blog.

Each year for over a decade, Motley Crue's Vince Neil and sports philanthropy outfit the TJ Martell Foundation throw a charity golf tournament to benefit the Skylar Neil Memorial Fund, established in memory of Neil's daughter who died of cancer in 1995. Neil's is probably the highest profile charity event at which porn stars appear, and it is always interesting to see the type of foursomes who regularly attend golf events mingling with the strippers and porn girls who were the inspiration for so much of Motley Crue's music.

It's a pleasure to visit Simi Valley's Lost Hills Golf Course, which looks a bit like a garden on the Moon, and hearing Sasha Grey (pictured here with Marie Luv and Tricia Devereaux) explain to a Cleveland businessman what "Gang Bang My Face" is about. Read more after the gap. - GP

***

As a man who likes porn, I often find it unpleasantly distracting to see guys in the picture - unless they look like they are very happy to be there. Here Vince Neil and Cousin Stevie find themselves surrounded by personal bevies, including Sunny Lane, Flower Tucci, and Olicia O'Lovely.

"I'm 64," Cousin Stevie said; "you're, what, 30? You have no idea how to appreciate these things."

(Yes, but I'll give it a shot.)

GolfMILF DeBella poses by the clubhouse.

Dana DeArmond looks like the hot best friend my older sister never had, and who never walked into the family room after skateboarding to say, "I will make you a man today." Cruel Fate.

Marie Luv explains that it's 150 feet with the wind behind you. "I heard someone say that earlier," she said. "I don't know shit about golf."

Co-host Tiffany Granath with MR. BELDING!!!

As soon as I asked Veronica Rayne to pose, she went and got all icy sexy, whereas before she had just been a sexy generalist.

The omnipresent and omnijuicy Sunny Lane in the golden hour.

· Skylar Neil Memorial Fund (skylarneil.org)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive