Fleshbot: straight, cartoons

Marge Simpson: Perpetually Pushing 40 With Perky Boobs

Ottimo Massimo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:30:01 EDT

Have you ever wondered what Marge Simpson's nipples look like? We haven't. And yet now we know.

In all honesty, the spread is rather tasteful. We genuinely guffawed during the interview, especially when Marge asserted that she was happy to be a "MILK—a Mom I'd Like to Know." It's just so wholesome. And this is probably the most exciting celebrity cover to come out in a while.

The only real disturbances were Marge's boobs under the gauzy negligee. Maybe it's just the pink-sheen from her outfit, or the fact that she has nipples, but they look too...human. Too Playboy-approved. Too perky. Marge has three kids, and we always assumed she breastfed them. Could Krusty-brand Baby Formula be the key to her youthful bounce?

· Marge Simpson's Playboy Photos Revealed (worstpreviews.com)

What Will Bart And Lisa Think?

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:30:01 EDT

In celebration of the 20th anniversary of "The Simpsons," Marge Simpson will appear nude on the cover of November's Playboy—and in a three page spread inside the magazine, too.

Our question (besides whether Marge is a natural bluehead): should we feel sadder for Hugh Hefner or Matt Groening?

· Ay, Caramba! Marge Simpson Gets Nude for Playboy (eonline.com)
· Thumbnail via Cartoon Fucking (cartoon-fucking.thumblogger.com)

Fuq Pop — Jem Gone Porno

auryn — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:30:01 EDT

'Jem and the Holograms' is, by far, the sexiest of our favorite childhood cartoons. Could this be the next XXX parody dvd? Who can we talk to about this?

You know what? Forget Rio, that two-timing jerk who was dating both Jem and Jerrica. There's nothing we want to see more than Stormer's bright blue mane of hair between Kimber's milky-white thighs. (Then we'd know whether she was a true redhead.) Or Shana and Aja's interracial romance. Or how about the possible bondage scenes between Jem and the entire band of Misfits? We could go on forever, but we'll let you use your imagination for a while. Hopefully these pictures will inspire you as much as they did us.

Fuq Pop by Ronin/SS (ronin-ss.com, via yuhmm.com)
Fuq Pop by Ronin/SS (ronin-ss.com, via yuhmm.com)
Fuq Pop by Ronin/SS (ronin-ss.com, via yuhmm.com)
Fuq Pop by Ronin/SS (ronin-ss.com, via yuhmm.com)
Fuq Pop by Ronin/SS (ronin-ss.com, via yuhmm.com)

"Eveready Harton" And The Birth Of Cartoon Smut

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:52:31 EDT

People are always asking if we know where to find the world's first porn movie or the world's first nude model or the name of the caveman who invented jerking off. Obviously, we are much too young and spry to be able to recall such ancient history, but there are folks out there who know where to find such hidden gems. These intrepid internet explorers have tracked down what is believed to be the first pornographic cartoon, "Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure." Made in the 1920s by (allegedly) the same animators who created family favorites for Max Fleischer and Walt Disney, it's the heartwarming tale of a man and his giant penis just looking for a little satisfaction in a harsh and cruel world. Who says cartoons are just childish fun?

· Eveready Harton in Buried Treasure, One of the First Pornographic Cartoons Ever Made (panopticist.com)

Sexy 'Toons At The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art

Jonnobot — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:05:10 EDT

If you happen to find yourself in lower Manhattan this weekend, don't miss the 2008 Art Festival benefitting the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art—especially now that our pal Audacia Ray has posted this handy guide to all the sexy stuff you'll find on display, including art by Fleshbot faves Jess Fink and Molly Crabapple. Things like hot girl-on-girl action and splashy pen-and-ink cumshots always make a weekend culture excursion a little brighter as far as we're concerned. (nakedcity.com; thumb via Becky Cloonan)

"A picture is worth a thousand bucks an hour"

Jonnobot — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 14:10:31 EDT

Contrary to what the news media would have you believe these days, not all prostitutes look like a certain high-priced gubernatorial plaything-slash-aspiring music superstar; contrary to a lot of the drawings in the amusing Project Prostitute, however, they're not all fishnet-wearing, cigarette-smoking streetwalking vamps either. The uninteresting truth may be that prostitutes come in all shapes and sizes ... and as this project demonstrates, so do our attitudes toward prostitution. (We might prefer the fishnet-wearing streetwalker types ourselves, but then we're cheap that way.) (projectprostitute.com, via veryshortlist.com - thanks Elizabeth; thumbnail [top] by Roz Chast)

Life In The Trenches: Brian Shackleford's "Porn Editor"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:52:47 EST

If you are looking for the elusive missing link between porn and mainstream entertainment, the editor is the closest you'll get. Whichever side of the Hollywood sign he's on, when he surfaces after cutting up your movie, he usually hates it, and you. Brian Shackleford's mostly-Flash animated "Porn Editor," airing weekly on HBO, deals bluntly with the sadness of large breast desensitization, celebrity porn slumming, and mismanaged Avid expectations. (Ed. note: We know the feeling.)

. . .

· "Porn Editor" (youtube.com)

Crossdressing 'Toons By Bathgate21: That's What's Up, Doc

Jonnobot — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:37:05 EST

We remember all those great Looney Tunes cartoons when we were kids where Bugs Bunny would dress in drag to evade capture by Elmer Fudd. But we seem to have missed the one where he got himself all done up as a hot sissy girl ... or the one that showed what happened when a corset-clad Bugs finally caught up with his arch nemesis and managed to turn the tables with the help of a handy riding crop. And as for that crossdressing Archie all chained up and forced to be Veronica's love slave? We think we remember having that comic digest tucked away somewhere, though then again we may just have dreamt it. Good thing the very talented Bathgate21 came along to make all our hot crossdressing 'toon dreams come true. Turns out that saying "That's all, folks!" was just the beginning.

· Crossdresser Toons!!" (bilindasblog.com)
· Bathgate21 (Yahoo! Profile)

Previously: Cartoon Porn Goes Down On Your Childhood, This Week In Japanese Porn Titles: "Cartoon Character Costume Rape", Hot 'Toon Babes By Alessandro Scacchia, Cartoon Porn by Alex Hiro

The Porn Lover's Dilemma

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:52:44 EST

When strangers learn what we do for a living, their most frequently asked question is whether our constant investigation of the filthiest, nastiest and slimiest smut that the internet has to offer has made it impossible for us to get turned on by simple, run-of-the-mill pornography. Oddly enough, we thought of this question again while watching a recent episode of Cartoon Network's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" and we think that fellow porn watcher and No. 1 Giants fan Carl Brutananadilewski answers it as well as we ever could.

· Aqua Teen Hunger Force - "Sirens" (watch the full episode @ adultswim.com)

Naked G.I. Joe Babes: Knowing Is Half The Battle

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:48:40 EST

Since "Transformers" was such a cinematic tour de force certain to win upwards of 15 or 16 Academy Awards for awesomeness, it's only natural that Hollywood would take more of our precious childhood memories and exploit them: we just learned that G.I. Joe, he of the tribe of little plastic guys we used to bury in the sandbox and catapult across the driveway with firecrackers, is being turned into a live action movie. If that didn't make us ~~sad~~ psyched enough, imagine our glee at finding out that the evil temptress, The Baroness, is being played by the nippletastic Sienna Miller.

It may seem like an odd casting choice, but given Sienna's recent track record and the fact that Baroness was responsible for some of our first pre-adolescent "funny feelings," there's a pretty solid chance that this PG adventure could become a R-rated skinflick. Inspired by this news, we decided to seek out what we assumed would be a wealth of G.I. Joe babe fan art and hardcore fantasy fiction, except ... there isn't any. We know the mythology is a little dude heavy, but you're going to tell us that no one on the web has ever thought to dramatize a Scarlett-on-Snake Eyes-on-Destro threeway? Yet, outside of those silly "remixes" and this study of Joe's anatomically incorrect behind, there ain't much there.

We'll still share what little we found, but come on, folks! We'd expect this lack of ambition from fans of M.A.S.K. but not the Real American Hero! We just hope that this outtake of Flint and Lady Jaye double-teaming Baroness in a pool of butterscotch pudding doesn't end up on the cutting room floor.

· Flint and Baroness (YouTube)
· The Women of G.I. Joe Naked! (shesocrazy.com)
· Baroness Doing Cobra Commander's Laundry (myconfinedspace.com)
· G.I.J.O.E.????? (alistairbooya.blogspot.com)
· GI Joe? No! GI T.S.O.! (3-116thsniper.blogspot.com)

We feel your pain, T-Rex! Every time we...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:20:04 EST

We feel your pain, T-Rex! Every time we meet someone new, all they want to do is talk about porn. But we have other interests too, like boobs. And Keeley Hazell. And Keeley Hazell's boobs. (qwantz.com)

As if on cue, Rio de Janeiro is hosting...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:06:43 EST

As if on cue, Rio de Janeiro is hosting an erotic animation festival this week, featuring 50 films over three days. We'll have to check to see if "Minnie Mouse Does Dallas" is on the schedule. (afp.google.com)

Cartoon Porn Goes Down On Your Childhood

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 11:04:48 EST

We see a lot of filthy, filthy stuff in our daily travels, but somehow nothing makes us feel dirtier than watching Fred cheat on Wilma with Betty Rubble. Or a Simpsons family gangbang. Or even some man-on-Spiderman fan fic. Even sweet little Kim Possible can't escape the clutches of pervy cartoon fans who love to draw your most beloved childhood icons in extremely compromising positions. The best part about animation is that anything goes and as you can see from this pen-and-ink inspired TGP gallery anything definitely goes when it comes to cartoon smut. Management is not responsible for the loss of your cherished memories.

· Cartoon Pussy (cartoon-pussy.com)

Previously: This Week In Japanese Porn Titles: "Cartoon Character Costume Rape", Hot 'Toon Babes By Alessandro Scacchia, Cartoon Porn by Alex Hiro, Catt House Studios, More Hardcore 'Toons

We don't remember much about that Introduction...

Lux Nightmare — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 13:37:30 EDT

We don't remember much about that Introduction to Philosophy course we took in college, but watching naked cartoon characters fuck while quoting Wittgenstein is making us want to dip into our textbook again. Suddenly, it's all starting to make sense. (happyfamousartists.com, via Otomano)

Aren't these Chinese cartoon characters...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 16:54:08 EDT

Aren't these Chinese cartoon characters the cutest little anti-porn government censors you've ever seen? They almost make you feel happy to be living in a hyper-surveilled authoritarian police state! (news.com.com)

(Very Strange) Art By Billy Reynolds

Fleshbot — Wed, 23 May 2007 16:45:48 EDT

When we say that Billy Reynolds' pantings are full of things like bouncing boobs and plump, succulent buttocks, please don't think he's just another cheesecake or pinup artist: those boobs are as likely to be attached to Marge Simpson or Wilma Flintstone as they are sprouting from someone's forehead or heaped with a bunch of other body parts and miscellaneous orifices on a bed. Unless you're accustomed to watching porn on peyote (Ed note: who isn't?), you probably won't find much that's erotic about them, though art history geeks can at least get off to the allusions to artists like Picasso, Hans Bellmer, and Philip Guston that pepper his portfolio. And as for any readers who want to know what Lois Griffin really looks like with no clothes on ... well, look no further.

· Billy Reynolds: Paintings (billyreynolds.com - thanks T.)
· Billy Reynolds: "Peristalsis" at Black Maria Gallery, Los Angeles, 5/19-6/10 2007 (blackmariagallery.com)

Previously: Art By Dana Richardson: "Not Yer Average Perv", Ryu's Form Site: Sexy Anime Pinups, The Art of J.K. Potter, Erotic Art by Christopher Leach, Art by Patrice Murciano, Art by Colette Calascione

Carnets Pornographiques: When You Care Enough To Send The Very Breast

Fleshbot — Sat, 05 May 2007 00:10:44 EDT

In addition to taking pictures of ladies with no clothes on and bondage mistresses peeing on each other, the French are apparently also masters at the kind of naughty, doe-eyed illustration we formerly thought was the exclusive province of the Japanese. But despite the cartoon babelet inspecting her dildo collection and the stern age warning (you are assez grand to look, non?) that greet you when you arrive at this collection of sexy French comic art, the contents are rather more kawaii than truly pornographique. Still, they do have a certain charm about them—and they'd be just the thing for Hallmark to use should they ever decide to come out with a line of adult greeting cards. You know, for those times when you want to say "Sorry I Slept With Your Husband!" or "Hope You Penis Is Feeling Better!", but want something a little more personal than a usual box of chocolates.

· Carnets Pornographiques (carnets-pornographiques.com, via Sex In Art)

Previously: Art by Jean-Claude Claeys: Romans Noirs, Meet Magenta (And Friends), Xmics: Porn Picture Comics, Sexy Art by Camille, Julie Andreoli: Pink Punk Art

Animation by Mariola Brillowski: "House Of National Dog"

Fleshbot — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:15:31 EDT

To add to the moral quandries we all have to face on a daily basis, we pose the question: is it still bestiality if the dog you're fucking is a cartoon? Ponder the implications with the kind assistance of artist and canine advocate Mariola Brillowski, who makes brightly colored animation depicting things you might not want to watch in real life, but which make awfully entertaining cartoons. Will it surprise you if we tell you she's German? Though her website shows some thumbnails from her productions, the really good stuff is on her DVDs, which we recently had the good fortune to acquire (jealous?). Incidentally, Brillowski's weird world of depraved circuses and happy titties tends to make a lot more sense when you're inebriated. We're just saying.

· Mariola Brillowski's "H.O.N.D.: House Of National Dog" (mariolabrillowska.de; see English language translation here, though we're afraid it might not make more sense)

Hot 'Toon Babes By Alessandro Scacchia

Fleshbot — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:45:49 EDT

Italian artist Alessandro Scacchia's delicious fantasy babes are the kind of hotties you'd expect to see hanging out at the hottest hipster club or fetish party you could imagine—which is probably no surprise given the fact that his work regularly appears in places like the pages of alt fetish bible Skin Two and featured prominently in the debut installment of the Roman edition of NYC's own Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School this past weekend. But you don't need to subscribe to a glossy fetish print magazine or travel to Rome to get a taste of what Scacchia's work is all about—he offers a generous selection of his often tattooed and pierced (but always smokin') lust objects on his online portfolio, where you can also purchase original prints or enjoy his unique brand of fetish pinup hotness on everything from t-shirts to fridge magnets. We're not always fans of this kind of Cafe Press merchandising, but where Scacchia's babes are concerned we say bring it on. (Besides, we don't think they'd really give us a choice. Arguing with a chick in a latex body suit while she's holding a giant syringe is never a good idea.)

· Alessandro Scacchia Website (alessandroscacchia.com, via Dadanoias)

Previously: Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School, Dr. Sketchy's Rainy Day Coloring Book Release Party, Sexy Pin-Up Art by Paul John Ballard, Sexy Pinups by Viktor Jung, Mark Wasyl's Drop Dead Sexy Pinups, Sexy Art by Mónica, Erotic Illustrations by Erica Glasier, Grafuck 2.0, Pinup Art by Gina King, Susan Heidi Pin-Up Art