· "One Eyed Monster" (oneeyedmonstermovie.com)

Hopefully we'll get some full frontal next—though hopefully they'll have dropped the "stimulus package" joke by then. (Seriously, it doesn't even have anything to do with the movie—which, by the way, is a horror-comedy homage to "Alien" and "The Thing" starring a bunch of adult film actors.)

· "One Eyed Monster" (oneeyedmonstermovie.com)

Our only request of Wicked in its quest to be the undisputed top couples-friendly porn company: turn on the lights and wipe the Vaseline off the lens; we won't be scandalized if you turn the fluorescents on.

And Wicked features tend to have happy endings in more ways than one, which we appreciate.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Love for the First Time" (gamelink.com)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

Anyways, Carmen Hart doesn't get all suicidey, but we are almost as enamored of this simple yet effective boxcover as we are of the complex and exciting Carmen Hart herself, who apparently brings a little joy to cramped living quarters in the same way Alan Arkin did in "The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter", which we also don't remember.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Carmen Hart (official site @ carmenhart.com)
· Order "The Girl in 6C" @ Adult DVD Empire · Gamelink

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive

There's kind of an assumed Mexican standoff going on here on the set of "Charlie Laine's Cum Control", a CDGirls movie that will be released on Blu-Ray: While Charlie controls the hammering of the device currently throbbin' in Faith Leon, she looks at me. Faith looks at Charlie. Because life is short, I look at Faith (because Charlie still has her shirt on).

See more of your favorite porn stars at their ease after the gap. - GP

- - -

The Babes And Aces Poker Tournament was held last night at the Hollywood Park Casino. I thought Hollywood Park would be somewhere in Hollywood, but it was in Inglewood, where "Pulp Fiction"'s Jules is from. What I'm saying is I got there late.

Here is Carmen Hart presiding over a table that includes Dino Bravo, the David Straithairn to Joe Gallant's John Sayles. I think the other guy is Ricky Gervais, but I can't be certain. Either that or he's Corey Hart, because he's wearing sunglasses at night.

Taylor Wane told me delightful stories about her native Newcastle in the north of England, pretending to not hear my proposals of marriage. I guess it must have been awkward.

Finally, Heather Vandeven, who I wished lived next door so we could take up some hobby together, like parasailing, finally told me how to pronounce her name. It is Van'-d(schwa)-vin. Thank G(schwa)d we got that out of the way.

· B.A.B.E. (babe-a-rella.org)

Previously: Popshots Archive