Fleshbot: straight, beach bunnies

"Seat Girls" Prove That Less Is More

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 09:53:53 EDT

The principle of Occam's Razor suggests that the simplest course of action is often the correct one. A website that has no title, no links and no advertising or graphics of any kind, would seem to submit to that ideal. Especially when the one thing it does have is slow-motion video of bikini-clad beach volleyball dancers gyrating seductively over a soundtrack of Johnny Cash music. Yes, it's simple—and serves no obvious purpose—but it's still very, very effective.

· Beach Dancers (full video @ seatgirls.rj41.ch, via gorillamask.net)

If you're at a beach right now ... we hate...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:40:00 EDT

If you're at a beach right now ... we hate you. But the rest of us can perhaps find some solace in this gallery of naked amateur beach bunnies. You don't even need suntan lotion. (Wait, maybe you will....) (phun.org)

The Never Ending Beach Volleyball Summer: Grab The Excitement! (And Maybe An Ass Or Two)

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:10:11 EDT

Speaking of the Wide World of Exotic Oceanside Sports ... it's beach volleyball season! You know, that time of year when insanely toned athletic babes put on insanely small bikinis in order to dig and spike for your amusement? Sadly, great swaths of our country are landlocked, making these areas underserved when it comes to sexy sand-based sports. There is help for these folks, however, in the form of a web gallery we stumbled across filled close-up shots of the best asses on the pro beach volleyball tour. Think of it as a CARE package for the tight and sand-covered butt deprived.

· The Ass-entials of Beach Volleyball (coedmagazine.com)

The Roman Catholic Church is a little peeved...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:33:13 EDT

The Roman Catholic Church is a little peeved at a Sicilian beach town and its planned festival that is a "celebration of nudity." Hey, we're all naked underneath our robes, right? (telegraph.co.uk)

Drunk Beachcombers Find Exciting New Uses For Empties

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:36:41 EDT

Do you hate those Corona beer commercials as much as we do? You know, the ones where all those stressed out yuppies totally get away from it all by hanging out on a beach and like, throwing their wallets into the ocean or something. Oh, and drinking watered down psuedo-Mexican beer. Well, apparently we aren't the only ones who have had enough and someone out there in internet-land decided to "re-interpret" the campaign in the only way that makes sense. Hey, with all those drunk people hanging out on the beach this was bound to happen eventually.

· Bottle (YouPorn)

Carla Bruni Makes French Politics Interesting

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:04:09 EST

Have you heard about the scandalous political scandal that has all of France positively ... er, scandalized? We don't read the papers much, but from what we've gathered some dude who's like the president or something totally cheated on his wife and unlike in some countries (ahem) French people are usually down with the whole world leaders having mistresses thing, except that this dude dumped his wife in the middle of a campaign (maybe?) and then (probably?) married his hottie model-singer girlfriend who loves to hang out on beaches in her bikini. Again, our grasp of parliamentary procedure in the European Union is a little weak, but we consulted several political science manuals and this photo gallery and came to the conclusion that Carla Bruni is pretty much the hottest thing to come out of Paris since Freedom Fries. Isn't international diplomacy awesome?

· Carla Bruni Bikini Pictures (egotastic.com)

A gathering of 1000 girls in bikinis breaks...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 10:00:34 EDT

A gathering of 1000 girls in bikinis breaks the world record for ... something. We guess anyone who can pull that many babes together at once deserves some kind of recognition. (celebslam.buzznet.com)

"Eden" Gets "Island Fever"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 16:34:08 EDT

"Eden", Adam & Eve's tentpole production of 2007 (and likely to be beloved contract girl Carmen Luvana's swan song with the company) has a cover hauntingly familiar to last year's "Island Fever 4" from former collaborator Digital Playground, right down to the time-honored three-blondes-and-one-brunette motif.

Though "Eden" has a "Fantasy Island"-style plot and "Island Fever 4" had no plot whatsoever (save for "The gang tries to make Malibu look like the Bahamas"), a recent Fleshbot poll revealed that 98.9% of consumers buy their porn on the basis of the cover alone.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Buy "Eden" (gamelink.com)

Previously: On The Set: Adam & Eve's "Eden", DVD Review: "Island Fever 4"

Say Goodbye To (The Boobs Of) Summer

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:42:57 EDT

The weekend marks the actual end of summer (according to "science," that is) and that always makes us sad, because as temperatures cool off it makes it much less likely that you'll run into women on the beach without their tops on. Or women on the beach, period. Or any beach unless you're crazy enough to brave the Atlantic Ocean in late November. Fortunately, it's always sunny on the internet, and you can still relive the sun and sand and free wheeling exhibitionism that results when people get crazy from the heat. (Or they live in Europe where nobody gives a crap.) Also, it's been brought to our attention that some people don't live anywhere near a beach (imagine that!) so this is pretty much the only surf experience they're going to get this year. Think of all the money they saved on suntan lotion!

· Summer memories from I Love the Beach (video @ voyeurday.com)
· More Bums And Boobs On Marbella Beaches (voyeurweb.com)

· Enrique's Beach (enriquesbeach.com)
· Real Beach Voyeur - TGP Page (realbeachvoyeur.com)

A record number of people showed up for...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 11:20:08 EDT

A record number of people showed up for the annual 5K naked fun run on Barinatxe Beach in Spain. The defending champion won by a ... you know. (thinkspain.com)

Jennifer Ellison looks very slippery in...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:20:06 EDT

Jennifer Ellison looks very slippery in her lizard skin swimsuit. No wonder it's so hard to get your hands on her. (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

Jennifer Aniston's surfin' safari continues....

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 13:47:03 EDT

Jennifer Aniston's surfin' safari continues. She does have excellent, um ... balance. (hollywoodtuna.com)

Jenna ... we mean, Jenny McCarthy is looking...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 10:09:06 EDT

Jenna ... we mean, Jenny McCarthy is looking pretty sharp in her new bikini, but don't ask us why she's on a deserted beach all by herself with only paparazzi to keep her company. Friday is no place for that attitude. (egotastic.com)

Nuts Takes A Holiday

Fleshbot — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 12:50:27 EDT

While everyone and their porn-loving grandmother seems to be on vacation this week—even our usually reliable stream of smutty press releases has slowed to a veritable trickle—we here at Fleshbot continue to keep our naughty bits to the grindstone to try to come up with enough distractions for you to forget that you may not be on vacation yourself. And we're not sure if that situation is made better or worse by this spread in the latest issue of UK fap bible Nuts: on the one hand, it was awfully considerate of the editors to share their special holiday memories with the rest of us (especially when said memories involve Fleshbot fave Sophie Howard and her pals Rhian Sugden, Imogen Gray, and Louise Cliff cavorting toplessly on a beach in Ibiza), while on the other it makes us feel that much more miserable that we're not there with them. Guess there really is no rest for the weary. (Or for the boob-obsessed, for that matter.)

· "Sophie Howard & Rhian Sugden On A Topless Holiday" (boobieblog.com; also spotted @ sexypix.thumblogger.com)
· Nuts.co.uk (nuts.co.uk)

Previously: Zoo Weekly Shows You The Motion Of The Ocean, This Week In Lad Mags: As Real As It Gets, This Week In Latin Lad Mags: How The Southern Half Lives

We don't know about you guys, but we could...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:20:14 EDT

We don't know about you guys, but we could really go for an ice cold Coke right about now. We also have an urge to teach the world to sing, but that might just be a coincidence. (voyeurweb.com)

Carmen Electra takes time out of her busy...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 10:00:59 EDT

Carmen Electra takes time out of her busy schedule to hang out on the beach and look hot. Oh, wait ... that is her busy schedule. (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

Elisha Cuthbert is pleased to meet you and...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:40:54 EDT

Elisha Cuthbert is pleased to meet you and would like to take your picture. No, she won't be putting her shirt on, so just deal with it. (egotastic.com + hollywoodtuna.com)

If you're looking to get away from it all,...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 12:45:00 EDT

If you're looking to get away from it all, you might try visiting one of the hot spots on this list of the world's sexiest beaches. Of course, you'll need to be your sexiest too, otherwise you'll spoil the curve. (concierge.com)

Not only do Sophie Howard and Lucy Pinder...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:49:27 EDT

Not only do Sophie Howard and Lucy Pinder enjoy spending (topless) time on the beach together, they're also excellent paddleball players. Next month: Jarts! (dailypoa.com)

We aren't really sure who Adriana Volpe...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 10:40:37 EDT

We aren't really sure who Adriana Volpe is or why anyone would want to take photos of her on the beach, but after further investigation we think we've found two pretty good reasons. (drunkenstepfather.com)