<![CDATA[Fleshbot: straight, baseball]]> http://tags.fleshbot.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/fleshbot.com.png <![CDATA[Fleshbot: straight, baseball]]> http://fleshbot.com/tag/straight/baseball http://fleshbot.com/tag/straight/baseball <![CDATA[ You know what the best part of sportsmania...]]> You know what the best part of sportsmania is? Female fans showing their team pride with painted-on jerseys (we knew those Europeans were on to something!). Any Rays fans out there who'd like to take this lady on? (homerderby.com, via Deadspin)

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<![CDATA[Put Me In, Coach: "Bad News Bitches 3"]]> What better time to celebrate America's pastime than with American pornography, especially with this summer's Olympic games probably being the last for baseball? "Bad News Bitches 3" hearkens back to rambling, Cormanesque T&A movies like the original "Debbie Does Dallas" in its misguided attention to a plot when people like Penny Flame, Amber Rayne, and Rachel Roxxx running around in baseball jerseys and short shorts will do.

That our crack Photoshop team had to graft a baseball onto someone's peen will probably give you an idea of how much baseball is in this movie.


The Bad News Bitches must thwart the machinations of the thwarted rival of episodes 1 and 2 by any means necessary. As you can imagine, not much baseball is played throughout the movie, and there are no Belladonna-style scenes of unconventional bat placement, but older porn fans might appreciate this movie's similarity to the plot-heavy, good v. evil porn flicks of yore, just with more implants and less hair.


Admirable attention to detail includes "Bad News Bitches" t-shirts as well as location filming at an actual baseball diamond and aerial shots of Dodger Stadium.

· Pink Kitty Video (xxxjuicy.com)
· Buy "Bad News Bitches 3" (gamelink.com)

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<![CDATA[Meet Boston's MVS (Most Valuable Stripper)]]> A former in stripper in Boston claims that she single-handedly changed the face of baseball history—by boning (married) New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez in his hotel room during the 2004 American League Championship Series, thus causing his team to collapse in a historically unprecedented fashion against their arch nemesis Boston Red Sox, allowing that city to claim its first World Series title in 86 years (which they have not shut up about since.) She's like Shoeless Joe Jackson, but we guess that instead of shoes, she just takes off her bra. (bostonhearld.com, via Deadspin)

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<![CDATA[ Today's baseball spring training update:...]]> Today's baseball spring training update: A scout for the Boston Red Sox was arrested in Florida for "committing a lewd act in a hotel room that overlooked the pool." Your move, Derek Jeter! (abc2news.com)

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<![CDATA[ If you want to see the rest of the Aubrey...]]> If you want to see the rest of the Aubrey Huff/Melissa Midwest ass painting saga, you can now purchase the entire ordeal on her website. It's twice as interesting as the Barry Bonds trial and with the half the amount of human growth hormone! (melissamidwest.com + Deadspin)

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<![CDATA[ If you thought Red Sox fans were bonkers,...]]> If you thought Red Sox fans were bonkers, what about the Colorado Rockies booster who is willing to give up a 25-year strong Playboy collection just to go to one World Series game? We like sports too, but that thin Rocky Mountain air might be affecting his judgment. (cbs4denver.com, via Deadspin)

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<![CDATA[It seems some Red Sox fans are going a little...]]> 2007_10_24_sox.jpgIt seems some Red Sox fans are going a little batty with World Series fever ... or they just figure baseball is as good an excuse as any to troll for sex on Craigslist. Why should the players get to do all the scoring? (bostonherald.com, via bostonist.com)

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<![CDATA[Barry Bonds' Naked Mistress Joins Your Fantasy Team]]> We're big baseball fans, but we admit that we find it hard to get worked up about the game's ongoing steroid "scandal." For example, if you found out that legendary cocksmith Peter North had been corking his bat all those years, would that make his prodigious pop shots any less impressive? (Actually, don't answer that.) But if there's one positive development about the brouhaha surrounding Barry Bonds and his new, possibly tainted home run record, it's that Playboy still knows how to cash in on any newsworthy event by getting a minor (but hot) player to disrobe for some photos.

From Jessica Hahn to the Girls of Enron, this grand tradition has become a sort of coup de grace for any media spectacle and now that Barry's mistress, Kimberly Bell, has come forward to not only comment on his shriveled balls and ass injections, but also peel her uniform off in public, we feel like the entire ordeal has finally hit for the cycle. But as longtime fans of the Giants slugger there's one question we still have to ask: Does he choke up in bed too?

· Kimberly Bell Naked In Playboy (Nov. 2007)
· Playboy (subscription info and digital downloads @ playboy.com)

Previously: The Secrets Of Miss Universe, Ana Paula Oliveira In Playboy, (Former) Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd in Playboy

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<![CDATA[Because All-Star Games attract all-star prostitutes,...]]> Because All-Star Games attract all-star prostitutes, the city of San Francisco used the baseball version as an excuse to roundup 131 people in a sex sting operation last week. All those workers in the Bay Area and the Giants still can't score. (nbc11.com)

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<![CDATA[What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Almost All-Star Break Edition]]> "Bitch Bitch Bitch." That's my impression of our comment-hungry overlords. Who would have thought that all you needed was a little creative outlet? The winner of last week's first "What Would Fleshbot Readers Do?" porn titling contest was a person named CloudCarrier who titled the Chelsie Rae movie "Wheeeee!Gasms 25". We chose this because Chelsie Rae makes us go both "Hmmm" and "Wheee!" (as well as "Bo-WANGhee"). Today we've a slightly more sinister boxcover for you to name. With luck, you will wax rhapsodic about our national pastime as America's birthday nears. Corking! - GP

· Jerkoff Zone (jerkoffzone.com)

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive

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<![CDATA[Wild World Of Nude Sports Mistresses]]>

The sports world was shocked last week to learn that a young, attractive, obscenely wealthy, and ridiculously talented professional athlete might possibly be dating a stripper. (He's also married to a non-stripper, which we guess is the shocking part.) Normally, the late night shenanigans of New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez would be left to those who actually care are better qualified to discuss such things, but something about this story managed to catch our eye. It must have been the nude pictures of A-Rod's (hee-hee ... "rod") alleged paramour, Joslyn Morse, that were dug up from her stint in Playboy back in 2001. Now we're interested! We don't really have anything to add to the story, other than the observation that these photo lend credence to the rumor that the slugger likes the "muscular" type. It's good to know they have something in common.

· Joslyn Morse - Alex Rodriguez stripper friend (dailyniner.com)
· The Sky Is Falling!: Meet A-Rod's Lady (Deadspin)
· 'Post' Lauded For A-Dultery Headline (Gawker)

Previously: Baseball Cheerleaders Get To First Base

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<![CDATA[Wet Spots: There Is No Sex In The Living Room]]>

· Want to know what your mom is up to now that you've moved out of the house? Do you now wish you'd minded your own business? (The Today Show)

· Heather Locklear must have put her bikini in the dryer, because it doesn't fit her anymore. She should try that with all her clothes. (the usual suspects)

· Growing up in the Dominican Republic, Julian Tavarez had just two dreams—become a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox or become a porn star. Hey, it's not too late to do both. (aolsportsblog.com, via adultfyi.com)

· What's wrong with creating a gateway of strip clubs leading into Washington, D.C.? It might even keep some of those lobbyists from finding the Capitol. (examiner.com)

· So who really wrote this article about the saga of Sex.com? More importantly, will anyone pay to read the book about it? (kierenmccarthy.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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<![CDATA[Morning Wood: Now Say You're Sorry]]>

· We had no idea, but baseball is a filthy, filthy game. Are you going to let them talk about your mother that way? (firejoemorgan.com)

· American Apparel is the perfect clothing to get yourself off in. 'Tis the season. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

· Beijing hands out a harsh new penalty for Chinese websites that display porn—they must offer a heartfelt apology. Sending a nice bouquet of flowers wouldn't hurt either. (chinatechnews.com)

· Website owners discover the shocking secret that putting the word "sex" in your headlines gets people to read your stories. Yeah, that's pretty much our entire operations manual. (ameinfo.com)

· Do you really want to use a service that keeps track of every link you click on while web surfing and shares that info with the whole world? Try explaining all those "big butt asian cuckold bondage" searches to your friends. (darrenbarefoot.com)

· Just so everyone is clear ... Jared, the Subway guy does not rent out his porn. We wouldn't trade any of our DVDs either. Not even for one of those yummy Spicy Italian sandwiches. (tmz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

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<![CDATA[Porn of the Moment: "Extreme Holly Goes Solo"]]>

Creature of the interweb Extreme Holly, when she finds something appealing, pretty much absorbs it. Here she is with a baseball bat and a Yankees shirt (sadly, she defies logic by not sticking the Yankees jersey where such things belong). The Arizona resident gamely fits all manner of things inside herself, including tools, felt-tip markers, flashlights, cucumbers, popsicles, and now and then a traditional sex toy. The video is refreshingly free of porn-star posturing from the buff and genial Holly, who could probably beat you to death with the bat once she's finished with it. - GP

· Extreme Holly (extremeholly.com)
· "Extreme Holly Goes Solo" (Adult DVD Empire)
· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

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<![CDATA[Baseball Cheerleaders Get To First Base]]>

While the other major sports have shamelessly flouted peppy short-skirted babes for the sake of rallying fans to their cause, baseball has steadfastly remained the stuffy old man of the sports world. Sure they've hired the occasional cute ball girl or a few co-eds to fire hot dog guns into the crowd, but the grand tradition of the game would never permit the boys of summer to stoop so low as to use titillation as a marketing gimmick. Or would they? The time seems to have changed in—where else?—Miami, where the Florida Marlins have installed Major League Baseball's first bona fide pompom shaking, sports bra bearing cheer/dance squad, the Mermaids. Ok, so they've actually been around for a few years now, but they aren't exactly heavily promoted by the powers that be—outside of Miami, that is, where they're pretty much the only way to get folks to leave South Beach long enough to sit through a baseball game. So why hasn't the idea caught on in say, Detroit or Minnesota? With all those pitching changes and scratching batters, baseball can actually put those tight bottoms and gyrating pelvises (pelvi?) to good use. We know Phillies fans could certainly use the distraction.

· Cheerleader Reports (homerderby.com)
· Marlins Mermaids (pictures + video @ florida.marlins.mlb.com)

Previously: NBA All-Star Dance Team, NFL Cheerleader Megagallery, Bibiana Julian: NFL's Sexiest Cheerleader, Dunking NBA Cheerleader Gallery, Bodog Girls: Sports Are Fun, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team

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