That's why watching Sin City's newest release, "Bubble Butt Cuties," feels like waking up to find someone rolled Christmas, Easter, the Superbowl, Nascar, UFC, Shark Week, Demolition Derby, Metallica, Fight Club, Quentin Tarantino, and Beerfest all into one! Now that's powerful!

What a piece of work is Ava Rose...and her extraordinary ass! How noble in reason! How infinitely breathtaking in expansion...like a stained glass masterpiece hanging in a solemn church on a cold winter's morning, the virgin's ineffable tears, or the way your heart feels like it's going to explode when a small child bursts into a hymn. In apprehension, how like a God? If you're starting to get the feeling that we are suggesting Ava Rose's ass is akin to having a religious experience, or better still, a spiritual epiphany, then you are finally getting it. Sexy Ava plays the fool for Dane "Baby" Cross who turns their playful back and forth into a white hot session, showing her some tough love just to prove he's the boss of that massive booty.

Aubrey Adams provides a grateful Cheyne Collins with a "Fuck-A-Gram," until he turns her sweet pink speed racer back into a purring kitty kat snatch. Kristina Rose taunts Nick Manning from a jail cell until he power fucks her sweet sphincter, raining down a tsunami of expletives and irrational catch phrases that seem to entrance her into an animal state of raw desire. Kirra Lynne tries to trick Jenner and steal his watch but ends up taking the A Train to brown town, and singing his praises the way ride.

In the end, it's Jayden James who owns this release. With curves this dangerous and cheeks so full and merry, she practically owns poor Eric Masterson, who has to come up with a ruse to bed her, and works harder than a sweatshop employee with no bathroom breaks to give Jayden the kind of 'hard dick and bubble gum', uterus hammering, drilling that is her birthright.

"Bubble Butt Cuties" releases later this month from DCypher and Mayhem. Check out this extremely exclusive gallery we shot on set just for you, our loyal readers....and trust us when we say we really hope you enjoy this set. Have a great weekend!

Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
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Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
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Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
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Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
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Kristina Rose and Nick Manning
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Ava Rose and Dane Cross
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Ava Rose and Dane Cross
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Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
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Ava Rose and Dane Cross
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Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Ava Rose and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Jayden James and Eric Masterson
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Which explains (in part) why they've released a four plus hour title starring some of your favorite cock gargling starlets, back when they were fresh and new and nearly factory sealed, their young hearts and vaginas still as indestructible like those famous plastic combs from our childhoods.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" is more than just a compilation video starring Bree Olson, Amy Ried, Ava Rose, Lacie Heart, Riley Mason, Audrey Bitoni, Carmen Kinsley, Chase Dasani, Krystal Jordan, Lindsey Meadows, Ruby Flame, Samantha Sin, and Stefanie Renee—it's also an invitation to recall those halcyon days of yonder, fleeting quickly into life's rear view mirror as we push ever further towards the great equalizer. It's one great big "carpe diem" shouted up into the face of the howling abyss, a double finger superhero salute to the darkness that threatens to strip all meaning away from this brief and wonder filled dream.

Is that too morbid? Welcome to the winter of our discontent. It's been a wild year, one where we lost too many we cherished. That being said, "Cum Fuck Them Young" is also a reminder to grab life by the tail, to chuck out that which is truly non-essential, and to embrace our animal instincts right here and now.

Seeing young and vibrant Ava Rose have her tight and tiny clam pried open again takes us back. Likewise, it fills the cockles of our hearts with joy to see a thin, bubbly Bree Olson get nailed in the ass—almost as if it is her very first time. With so many amazing starlets doing what we have grown to love them for, this release is like the "family-sized" value saver equivalent of a pornographic Costco—which is fine from time to time.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" releases next week from New Sensations. Check out this awesome gallery, exclusive to Fleshbot, then go out and seize the day!

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Since our beloved superheroes, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, and Monica Mayhem, are busy with their own Super Friends Fuckfest, we're going to need some fresh crime fighters to take their places. We don't really have the time for trust-building and demonstrations of superhuman feats; we can only judge heroes by their names. That's where you come in.

Turn yourself into a superhero, complete with alias, strengths, and weaknesses. When you run into the phone booth, who comes out? We promise not to reveal your secret identity. As a show of good faith, I'll let you know my alter-ego:

By day, mild-mannered blogger Ottimo Massimo trolls the internet for nudie pics... But at night, he is Massimorph: the mild-mannered blogger whose penis can transform into any sex toy on the market!

We're not going to force you to make the superhero name sex-centric, but this is Fleshbot, the name should be somewhat erotically-aligned. (And yes, you can present it in limerick form if you'd like.)

Post your entries in the comments section. Next week, we'll give our favorite hero or heroine a brand new copy of Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1!

For now, we'll have to stave off next week's fantasy with last week's fixation.

As always, many thanks to everyone who entered; you all definitively proved your dedication to large breasts. The only exception would be Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man, whose declaration of admiration for miniscule mammaries will surely earn him a spot on the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (it was, nonetheless, a beautiful and moving speech).

Many props go to SexyHard for still repping the limericks, and also for pointing out that breasts are also enjoyed by their owners:

Lynn loves when I suck on her tits.
She cums when I nibble her nips.
They shake and they wobble
As I lick and gobble
Them up like two succulent clits.

But the grand prize goes to Beaker! All four of his haiku were grand, and you should go back and check the others out, but here's one that captures the overall tone:

The poker player
Is in a quandary now.
Two pair ... huge ... she wins!

Ah yes, large boobs do win. And so do you. Congratulations, Beaker! We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Monica Mayhem, superhoney of "Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1," via Be The Mask (bethemask.com)

· Buy "Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1" (tlavideo.com)

But we do know that it comes out in January, and that—as mentioned above—it involves Ava Rose. Naked. And since that pretty much sums up what we need to be happy...well, January can't come soon enough.

· Oh my... (community.elegantangel.com)

· Buy "Wet Vignettes" (gamelink.com)

Popsicle Play

Studio: Abigail Williams Productions
Director: O. Cohen
Cast: Samantha Ryan, Nika Noir, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, Jayden James, Ann Marie Rios

This movie is wet in the best possible way. The first scene has Nika Noir and Samantha Ryan work each other to a slow, screaming lather. They get wet, I get wet (which really isn't supposed to happen, I'm a guy), and it's literally raining on them the entire time. Sadly, a popsicle is missing from this scene, but there was a delightful, popsicle-colored vibrator in use.

Actually, the absence of popsicles was a bit concerning at times. Certain scenes—like Nika and Samantha's—could've used one, especially when the cover shows an intimate moment between the girls involving a Cherry Pineapple Big Stick. Ann Marie Rios has the only solo work in the film, and she is also missing a frozen treat. Then again, what she lacks in sugar, she more than makes up with seething. She masturbates like a schizophrenic, half-laughing/half-crying to the point of blazing orgasm.

On the other hand, I'm happy the popsicles were few. It makes them exciting! Jayden James and Nikki Rhodes start off their scene with some intense snack time: holding a Firecracker in her teeth, Jayden colors Nikki's nipples red. Then the girls double-team-deepthroat the ice lolly down to the stick. Have you ever wished your penis were a popsicle? You will.

But it's important to remember that the popsicle isn't a surrogate penis, and you shouldn't be projecting yourself onto unhealthy snacks. For one, you could never have intercourse because sugar is bad for the vagina and is prone to cause yeast infections (The More You Know!). Besides, remember what Belladonna taught us?

Second, it's ok to identify with girls in porn, even lesbian porn; accept your desire for both the active and passive roles! Really, when you're watching Darryl Hannah mouthfuck Ava Rose with a popsicle, and the camera is so close that you can read the joke off the stick, you'd be silly if you didn't want to be one of the girls.

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Ava Rose and girlfriends go on a birthday adventure to Raven Castle, whispered to have been the home of a legendary vampiress. In flashbacks, we see dark, lush beauty Audrey Bitoni working her evil. Back in the present day, however, the party girls are having visions and finding clues hinting at the castle's bloodthirsty former inhabitants.

The reason "Vampiress" is worth watching is because the sex is candlelit and bodice-rippy, performed by dusky hippy beauties like Rose, Bitoni, Gianna Lynn, Raveness, and Amber Rayne (with the blonde Alexis Texas thrown in as a ringer).

But it is almost Eon McKai-level bad with mind-numbing dialogue and cougar vampire Raveness (from 1472, no less), bouncing between bad period dialogue and lines like "Work that fuckin' pussy, baby." The nail in the coffin is when we get to hear director Marcus London's stage directions ("Ava, turn your head this way"). In a way, "Vampiress" is comforting in that porn can still look the way people who've never seen porn think it does, based on everything they've heard.

Sadly, I did not see the boom mic.

I have had this movie on my To Do list since last year's Halloween Week collection, and am surprised it is still available for purchase. Like a vampiress, "Vampiress" should only be seen at night.

· The Vampiress (thevampiress.com)
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Bree Exposed

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Jenny Hendrix, Missy Stone, Charlie Laine, Danny Mountain, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue

Bree Olson only appears in two scenes! I know I'm being greedy, but I was hoping for more. Naturally, the quality of her scenes more than makes up for the quantity, as Bree is a powerful force in her respective segments with Anthony Rosano and Tommy Gunn.

Since Anthony has the first scene, you'd expect him to set the pace for the rest of the actors. While his unchained fucking certainly typifies the wild tone of the film, I wouldn't designate him the golden standard of "Bree Exposed." Mr. Rosano gets very, very sweaty. Like, just-got-caught-in-a-monsoon sweaty. Also, he finishes by jacking off on Bree's feet and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe that's a good thing?

The following four scenes are also wet and surprising, but in different ways. Mick Blue brings Missy Stone to squirt before embarking on a long anal engagement. Then there's a lesbian intermission with Ava Rose and Charlie Laine involving a rather ornate but uncomfortable-looking chair. Next, Bree seduces Tommy with an oh-so sensuous booty dance. Finally, Jenny Hendrix and Danny Mountain use the only bed in the movie for some very intense reverse cowgirl action.

As hot as all of the performers are, I felt the sound was the sexiest part of the movie. One moment you're listening to Bree describe the prodigious veins of Tommy's cock (prodigious, by the way), and the next, you're eavesdropping on the whispers between Jenny and Danny. It really says something when you can enjoy a porno with your eyes closed.

The only thing that soured my audio love affair was the ambient music. Before every scene you're treated to either an Enya techno remix or Gregorian chant-break beats. A minor concern, but it causes me to wonder what overall feel Andre Madness wanted to impart.

The straight story is this: there are five hot scenes that stand out strong against any environmental oddities that may exist. With every new scene, you can feel yourself getting excited, impatient, and just generally happy to see the performers. It's that Christmas-morning feeling that can't be faked, and it comes from the talent and enthusiasm of the actors.

And that's why I want to see more of Bree Olson: you can stare at her for hours and it won't damage your retinas.

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"I don't know," director Danny Case said on May 26. "Maybe putting 'Big Butt' in there is too much?"

But Variety is already calling the project BBOO, I thought. Don't change the name now...

The rooms of the rented Woodland Hills home were redolent of skin and sweat and oil that day as Ava Rose, Angelina Ash, Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Lisa Ann, Kristina Rose, and Kagney Linn Karter tried gamely to only fuck on the areas where a tarp had been laid down.

Now, a short two months later, we have a DVD that gets almost clinically close to the action, with nary a frame that doesn't have some slicked and abundant piece of flesh in it, either by itself or encircling a hole.

The day unfolded just as the DVD does, with introductory shots of the cast members stripping and oiling alone, culminating in a slutty slip 'n' slide.

These women were writhing in oil and each other for hours. For you. I was there. The least you could do is look at them.

· 3rd Degree Films (thirddegreefilms.com)
· Buy "Big Butt Oil Orgy" (gamelink.com)

*****

Previously: Danny Case Unveils Porn's Next Big Thing With "Big Butt Oil Orgy"

This week, 3rd Degree introduces the world to that idea with the release of Danny Case's
Big Butt Oil Orgy." It's so brilliant, we almost can't believe that it didn't exist before.

No plot, no three to seven acts, no character arc—just that one idea, immaculately played out before our very eyes in every glorious detail our filthy imaginations can dream up, then captured perfectly, right down to the very last nook and delicious cranny.

With an amazing cast including Crossover MILF Lisa Ann, Sophie Dee, Ava Rose, Kristina Rose, Phoenix Marie, Kagney Linn Karter, and Angelina Ashe, Danny Case wins on concept alone.

We are certain that this is simply volume on—because we are praying that more (many, many more) are yet to come down the, um, pipeline.

"Big Butt Oil Orgy" releases this week from 3rd Degree and Danny Case. Check out our continuing coverage (by which we mean our hot gallery).

Previously: Lisa Ann at the Oil Orgy

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· Buy "Masturbation Nation #3" (tlavideo.com)

Santa Monica cops checked invitations, true, but after that the uniforms became far more sparse. Try high heels, wings or horns, some glitter, and nothing else.

Nina Hartley, Sunny Lane, Ava Rose, Alexa Jordan, Savannah Stern, Jenna Brooks, Kayden Kross, Maria Bellucci, and dozens of other porn luminaries mixed and mingled in this latest in Hustler's five-year family reunions. This one was held at the Santa Monica Airport, which allowed Larry Flynt to be taxied in in his jet.

I didn't know it until later, but longtime Hustler photographer/director Richard Monfort (nom de porn: Richard de Montfort) had died about a week before. This party would have been right up his alley, especially since the "Heaven" and "Hell" sides of the room seemed to keep changing sides. But he especially would have appreciated the familiar, family atmosphere of the event, hard as that might be to explain when you've got Ava Rose in her altogether.

It's also hard to tell what the road to either destination is paved with when you can't stop looking at Sunny Lane. But no one said it was easy.

So Happy Birthday, Hustler, and a fond farewell, Richard.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

In addition to headliners Ava Rose and Alexis Texas, Elegant Angel has also recruited Pinky, Cherokee D'Ass, Kelly Divine, and Rachel Starr to take their asses into battle. Man...this could get ugly. In the best possible way, we mean.

· Buy "Battle of the Asses" (gamelink.com)

Oh, who are we kidding. This video has us so excited, we can't control ourselves. Seriously, we're on the verge of selling our firstborn child to get a copy of "Big Wet Asses 15." We might even sell your firstborn child (so you might want to watch out, kids.)

· "Big Wet Asses 15" Trailer! (community.elegantangel.com)
· Buy "Big Wet Asses 15" (gamelink.com)

...and below, why we wouldn't want to live there.

Why is Joanna Angel reading my copy of "Jaws"? I don't know. Why not? 3,000 bucks buy a lot of roast.

Here's Nicole Ray saying Hello, Fleshbot Readers. Holy God.

Ashley Fires, barefoot and on fire, wins the Miss XBiz Summer Forum. Chim-chiminee.

Scarlett Fay and Nicole Ray increase Hutler's visibility.

Ava Rose is oiled and ready. Aren't you? I am.

We're not entirely certain what that portends, but one thing we do feel safe predicting is that fans of the big ass genre have plenty to love about this release.

Naomi, Tia Sweets, Ava Rose, Lorena Sanchez, Riley, Richelle Ryan, Nikki Kane, Sunny Lane, Jessica Lynn, Alexis Texas, Sarah Vandella, and Kirra Lynne comprise the cast of this master tribute to phat ass goodness—so pretty much any way you slice it, you're going to find something that you love.

We were particularly amused by Tia Sweets's gorgeous young bubble, as was her partner Mr. Pete, judging from the shit eating grin emblazoned across his grill.

The rest of the cast is hot and in their prime, including a fresh faced, blond Ava Rose, the early Naomi with her magical anal wiggle, ripe and ready Alexis "Goddamn!" Texas, and fresh off the bus Sunny Lane. Pound for pound, this may be the best the series has to offer to date.

"I Love Big Butts 6" comes out on the 8th—but you can live Sir Mixalot's dream right now by checking out our sneak cheek gallery.

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Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "I Love Big Butts #6" (gamelink.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)

That's Scarlett Fay and Nicole Ray in an upcoming Lindsey Lohan v. Scarlett Johansson project that Hustler is putting together. I wish it were ba "Mean Girls"-meets-"Ghost World" sort of thing, like "Mean Ghost," but it's not. Oh well. I'll watch it anyway.

Oh, the "Big Butt Oil Orgy." I'll have those pictures in my head and those smells in my nose for months. Think again if you ever thought porn was easy. Imagine walking through baby oil that sluiced off the likes of Ava Rose, Lisa Ann, Kristina Rose, Sophie Dee, Kagney Linn Karter, and Angelina Ash (and that's lucky bastard Mr. Pete over there, too).

It presents an impossibility: You can hardly walk erect but everything around you compels you to do so.

Back to Nicole Ray, here she is with Lucky Bastard #2, Chris Charming. And his Bastardito.

Finally, what says Fun more than a booze-up at Hollywood's Viper Room with the Tom Hanks of Porn, Evan Stone?

The full press release:

GIANNA MICHAELS AND AVA ROSE SHOOT 1st ANAL SCENES FOR BIG WET ASSES 15!

Big Wet Asses, the winner of AVN's coveted Best Anal Themed Series award for 2006, 2007, & 2008 is back!

Elegant Angel is delighted to announce that porn superstar, GIANNA MICHAELS, stars in the 15th edition of the critically acclaimed series, performing in her very 1st, highly anticipated anal scene. Former contract girl, and current big butt superstar, AVA ROSE, also performs in her 1st anal scene in the movie. They both appear alongside a stellar collection of industry leading lights, including the spectacular Mia Rose, MILF superstar Julia Ann, and the beautiful and passionate Kimberly Kane.

Big Wet Asses 15 is the first edition of the series to be shot in 1080p High Definition. The movie will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray in a Collector's edition 2 Disc set full of extensive extras including extended BTS, a series retrospective, and multiple bonus scenes. The DVD will be released with innovative special packaging that will be a 1st for Elegant Angel. The release date is scheduled for the end of June.

Gianna performs in her 1st anal scene with former male performer of the year Michael Stefano. Ava Rose stars in her 1st anal scene with Mr Pete. Mia Rose and Julia Ann both feature, respectively, alongside Manuel Ferrara. Kimberly Kane performs in her scene with current male performer of the year, James Deen.

"It really went amazing," said Gianna. "I was so nervous at the beginning because I had never done anal on video before. But, it went so smoothly, and I had so much fun. Michael Stefano is great so I knew it would be an awesome scene. We all just had a really great time."

Director, William H. was delighted with this volume of Elegant Angel's flagship series: "Our goal from Big Wet Asses 9 onwards was always to make the next volume even better than the previous one. With each edition it becomes more of a challenge. But, we went all out for Big Wet Asses 15, and listened to who the fans wanted to see. Every scene was excellent and overall I think its one of the best Big Wet Asses ever. Gianna's anal scene isn't like your typical 1st anal scene. It's very hardcore and features lots of ATM. Julia Ann's scene with Manuel is possibly the best ever in the entire series. The passion and intensity of that one really blew me away."

· Elegant Angel (elegantangel.com)