Which explains (in part) why they've released a four plus hour title starring some of your favorite cock gargling starlets, back when they were fresh and new and nearly factory sealed, their young hearts and vaginas still as indestructible like those famous plastic combs from our childhoods.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" is more than just a compilation video starring Bree Olson, Amy Ried, Ava Rose, Lacie Heart, Riley Mason, Audrey Bitoni, Carmen Kinsley, Chase Dasani, Krystal Jordan, Lindsey Meadows, Ruby Flame, Samantha Sin, and Stefanie Renee—it's also an invitation to recall those halcyon days of yonder, fleeting quickly into life's rear view mirror as we push ever further towards the great equalizer. It's one great big "carpe diem" shouted up into the face of the howling abyss, a double finger superhero salute to the darkness that threatens to strip all meaning away from this brief and wonder filled dream.

Is that too morbid? Welcome to the winter of our discontent. It's been a wild year, one where we lost too many we cherished. That being said, "Cum Fuck Them Young" is also a reminder to grab life by the tail, to chuck out that which is truly non-essential, and to embrace our animal instincts right here and now.

Seeing young and vibrant Ava Rose have her tight and tiny clam pried open again takes us back. Likewise, it fills the cockles of our hearts with joy to see a thin, bubbly Bree Olson get nailed in the ass—almost as if it is her very first time. With so many amazing starlets doing what we have grown to love them for, this release is like the "family-sized" value saver equivalent of a pornographic Costco—which is fine from time to time.

"Cum Fuck Them Young" releases next week from New Sensations. Check out this awesome gallery, exclusive to Fleshbot, then go out and seize the day!

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Ava Rose and girlfriends go on a birthday adventure to Raven Castle, whispered to have been the home of a legendary vampiress. In flashbacks, we see dark, lush beauty Audrey Bitoni working her evil. Back in the present day, however, the party girls are having visions and finding clues hinting at the castle's bloodthirsty former inhabitants.

The reason "Vampiress" is worth watching is because the sex is candlelit and bodice-rippy, performed by dusky hippy beauties like Rose, Bitoni, Gianna Lynn, Raveness, and Amber Rayne (with the blonde Alexis Texas thrown in as a ringer).

But it is almost Eon McKai-level bad with mind-numbing dialogue and cougar vampire Raveness (from 1472, no less), bouncing between bad period dialogue and lines like "Work that fuckin' pussy, baby." The nail in the coffin is when we get to hear director Marcus London's stage directions ("Ava, turn your head this way"). In a way, "Vampiress" is comforting in that porn can still look the way people who've never seen porn think it does, based on everything they've heard.

Sadly, I did not see the boom mic.

I have had this movie on my To Do list since last year's Halloween Week collection, and am surprised it is still available for purchase. Like a vampiress, "Vampiress" should only be seen at night.

· The Vampiress (thevampiress.com)
· Buy "The Vampiress" (tlavideo.com)

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* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

The Sex Files

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Sam Hain
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Anthony Rosano, Ashlynn Brooke, Audrey Bitoni, Rod Fontana, Tyler Knight, Aurora Snow, Gracie Glam, Jackie Daniels, Tory Lane, Taylor Vixen, Angelica Raven, Evan Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

Writer/director Sam Hain had a grand vision for this "dark" parody (which was, thankfully, not as dark as most Wicked movies).

"I wanted it to fit into a plot hole in 'The X Files' that lots of fans were talking about," he said. "We see Scully (played in the original show by dour, buttoned-down saucypants Gillian Anderson) leaving a room as she's adjusting her clothes, and inside we see Mulder ('The Rapture''s David Duchovny) on the bed."

Well, a season later, Scully was pregnant and the show that coincided with the birth of chatroom culture had a cliffhanger every bit as potent as "Who Shot J.R.?"

So Hain wrote this movie as a bit of geekery, plugging the plot hole as neatly as reams of fan fiction had Mulder and Scully plugging each other in space, in Navajo boxcars, ghost ships, and under the watchful eye of the Chupacabra.

"But I tried to make it organic to the original show," Hain said.

All right, Mr. Hain. We are convinced of your earnestness. But is there room in today's crowded marketplace for earnest porn?

"The Sex Files" (New Sensations received a cease and desist letter from Fox, breaking the porn studio's graceful string of parody titles unburdened by either "Not the" or "This Ain't") cold-opens with sultry pixie Ashlynn Brooke astride a grateful but nervous older man (Guy DaSilva, who is also getting some work as porn's "Barrack Obama"). She reassures him that he was just fine, but now she wants to try something kinky. The camera tactfully pans away as she rips him to shreds with her mouth.

Next we meet Mulder and Scully (Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano), two FBI agents inhabiting a dimly lit D.C. basement. They are sent to Los Angeles to investigate some grisly serial killings, but Mulder balks. It has little to do with his job description, working on cases that deal in the kooky and paranormal.

If you've seen "The X Files," you are already satisfied that Kane and Rosano are expertly cast, clothed, and coiffed, and Rod Fontana as their boss, Skinner, is also an apt substitute for Mitch Pileggi. In fact, Fontana/Skinner gets to do what Pileggi/Skinner didn't: fuck his secretary, Aurora Snow.

"It's getting hot in here," she says, removing some layers.

"Federal buildings' air conditioning," Fontana syas.

The triumph of this pornification of "The X Files" is that Hain gets the silence right as well as many of the details. Much of how long-term partners Scully and Mulder communicate is non-verbal. But the occasional flareups of wordy exposition, also characteristic of the original show, is handled just about deftly by the actors, who obviously had much more of a dialogue workout on this film than any other in their careers.

But the time this movie takes to reveal what other porn flicks feel behooved to get out of the way ASAP makes Kane's first nude scene (the lonely Mulder catches her coming out of the shower) electric.

"Sorry," stammers Mulder, averting his eyes. "Good night, Scully."

It turns out that Ashlynn Brooke is Lilith, an apocryphal Hebrew succubus summoned back to life (and Pasadena) by creepy sex magick practitioner Andrew Barsons (Ralph Long). As Mulder and Scully track Barsons' movements, Lilith devours leather-clad swingers Evan Stone and Audrey Bitoni.

She even eats Stone's balls.

You should boycott "The Sex Files" on principle if it did not feature a sex scene between Mulder and Scully, so luckily for everyone it does. And their climactic tryst doesn't arrive by some device like a dream sequence. We actually sense their longing for each other throughout the movie. It's, well, earnest.

Another selling point of this movie is how good it looks. Shot on the red digital camera, "The Sex Files" looks rich. And the color palette provided by a series of lush brunettes and the languid Kane give the movie a real beauty. Furthermore, Stone and Rosano provide plenty of eye candy for female and gay audiences, and the gore is all off-camera.

Kane and Rosano carry this movie, which was very carefully directed by Hain to allow for beats and stillness. Director of Photography Eddie Powell throws in a special effect that has never before been seen in porn, and we are left in the end with a real feeling of hope that bad shit will never again befall Mulder and Scully.

I wish for everyone involved that this movie could have been sold on those alt.xfiles BBS pages of yore and made ten times its budget back, but this movie is going up against some heavy hitters as we move into AVN nomination season.

Still, if you Trust No One other than me, you really should see "The Sex Files." You'll believe - in your pants!!!!

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Packed with all the essential vitamins and nutrients a body needs to thrive, "Jana Cova's Juice" is nature's wonder—like, say, the acai berry that Oprah won't shut up about. The same way sailors would suck on a lime to prevent scurvy, we suck on a healthy slurping of "Jana Cova's Juice" to keep ourselves hard and alert at all times, and, yes, we mean hard like Viagra. Take that Susan Summers!

Wait? What's that? We've just been informed that "Jana Cova's Juice" is not a penis extending super fruit smoothie from the rainforest, but rather the latest Celeste release from the geniuses over at Digital Playground. It's an honest mistake anyone could make. We thought she made it from scratch every morning with loving kindness.

Radiant Jana is joined in the release by an amazing cast of friends and rivals including delicious Latin beauty Alexis Love, scintillating lesbian Celeste Star, the unforgettable Lena, busty raven tressed beauty Audrey Bitoni, spicy seductress Mikayla, drop dead beauty Alektra Blue, breathtaking cocksucker Paulina James, and last (but far from least) the incomparable Carli Banks, whom we have tried endlessly to get to hook up with us to no avail. Are there any better breasts in the entire world than the ones this Hawkeye was given at birth? Of course not. (That was a trick question.)

With a line up this extraordinary, we aren't sure what else you could possibly want to know about a title? Just go get it immediately—if not sooner.

"Jana Cova's Juice" comes out this week. Drink down all the magic goodness below but remember, all these pictures are the exclusive property of Digital Playground and cannot be used without their consent, which we have but you don't. Just saying.

Jana Cova and Carli Banks
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Paulina Banks
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Carli Banks
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Carli Banks
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Jana Cova
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Jana Cova
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Paulina James and Scott Nails
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Jana Cova
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Mikayla and Marco Banderas
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Mikayla and Marco Banderas
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Mikayla
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Alektra Blue and Jana Cova
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Alektra Blue
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Alektra Blue
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Jana Cova
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Jana Cova
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Paulina James and Scott Nails
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Jana Cova
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In honor of all the ladies who've avoided the bleach bottle and stayed true to their roots, we've put together a roundup of a few (though most certainly not all) dark haired girls who really get us going.

. . .

Gabriella Fox (Image courtesty of Digital Playground)

Roxy DeVille

Ava Rose

Regan Reese

Luna (nextdoormania.com)

Audrey Bitoni

Adriana Sage (morazzia.com)

Posh (suicidegirls.com)

Apnea

Maria Ozawa

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

For those of you not born in the 70's, the word "kismet" is Turkish for fate, which means it was prolly once Armenian for the same thing. How's that for irony? (We'll have to have someone else explain fondue to you. We're not sure we're all that qualified.) Though we most certainly are qualified to tell you about porn director Mark Kismet and his mammary manifesto dropping this week from Hustler Video and that genius Larry Flynt.

These days, a simple Google search for "kismet" will turn up everything but the little known Hustler director, which means he's almost a shoo-in for a book deal about how terrible it is having to slave in porn, judging from LFP employee's track records. Until he pens his memoirs, we can simply enjoy his take on the "Busty Beauties" video series (not to be confused with the magazine or the website) with the latest installment, "Delicious Tits." It just so happens that those are our favorite kind... and boy, are we hungry right now!

Mr. Fate serves up double D helpings of sweater stretching Freudian goodness with succulent milk maids Audrey Bitoni, Carmella, Holly Halston, Phoenix Marie, Priscilla Sin, and Taylor Kurtis getting jiggled every which way in the pink, then smothered in a piping hot coat of creamy white custard. Still, we're not sure this video illustrates the cosmic principle of determinism so much as reinforces our belief in karma—that is to say, by proving once again what goes around cums around.

Judge for yourself!

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

This becomes even more true when you add in an all star cast including sex goddesses Audrey Bitoni, Jenna Haze, Jana Jordan, and Madison Ivy—as is the case with their latest offering, "Addicted 5," which releases this week. Addicted, you say? Yeah, you could certainly call these lusty ladies habit forming. Watching these pint sized nymphomaniacs get fucked wide open by some of the biggest woodsmen to ever swing hard lumber in the skin trade is absolutely mesmerizing. You'll fiend like an Echo Park junkie after witnessing their trembling stretched honey holes gloriously squirt on the gargantuan cunt stretchers firmlt lodged half way up to their pierced navels.

Enjoy the gallery before your big turkey dinner, or use it afterwords to help you climb out of your tryptophan-induced coma. We know what we're thankful for this holiday season!

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

We hope Katsuni knows that deep down, she is not the only Sexual Freak. Seriously, look around—Teagan is a Sexual Freak. Shay Jordan is a Sexual Freak, Sophia Santi is a Sexual Freak. Stoya, Audrey Bitoni, Lacie Heart—all Sexual Freaks. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could all get together and just feel normal? Can’t you imagine Digital Playground’s new line of films, starting with "Jesse Jane(TM): Well-Adjusted Secure Girl" (a celeste punt)?

· Digital Playground (www.DigitalPlayground.com)
· Buy "Sexual Freak 10 - Katsuni" (gamelink.com)

But the dusky beauty has more spirit, and we couldn't help thinking about Kim Kardashian and her own sex tape when viewing this vastly superior film. In fact, filmmakers (coincidentally) delivered a product more akin to the Kim Kardashian TV show than her sex tape. Bonus: a "That's Hot"-spouting Nikki Benz. (Come to think of it, this picture looks more like a porn ripoff of "Gia".)

· Venom VOD (venomvod.com)
· Buy "Getting it Up with the KardASSians" (tlavideo.com)

Read our review after the gap.

. . .

Popstar

Studio: Vivid
Director: B. Skow
Cast: Monique Alexander, Audrey Bitoni, Nick Manning, Presley Maddox, Carolyn Reese, James Deen, Evan Stone

Review by Gram Ponante

"Take your clothes off for Din," Hollywood Weseal Nick Manning says to Sunrise (Monique Alexander) in Vivid's "Popstar". "Din wants to see some nipples. AND THE REST!"

Sunflower is new in town and starmaker Avery Din has invited her into the VIP lounge. Meanwhile, her cattty hometown best friend's career goes the other way: she is reduced to porn.

"Din's nude," Manning says, adding: "I'm gonna stick it where the sun don't rise."

The adorable Alexander makes us believe that she wouldn't actually shun us in a club, or perhaps she only appears to be an ingenue against Manning's utter oiliness. Either way, if we can forgive Jack Nicholson for playing the same character in all his later movies, we are equally satisfied when Manning arrives at load-droppin' time. (In addition to "Dropping loads!" Manning has added the catchphrase "Wrecked!")

As Din seeks to jettison Paulina (Audrey Bitoni) as flavor of the month, planting cocaine in front of paparazzi and sabotaging TV appearances, he also sends his assistant, Paige (Presley Maddox) to manipulate a late night host by whatever means necessary.

Then Sunrise must get cozy with a VJ (James Deen). Squalid. Especially since she can't sing.

Yesterday's news Paulina tries to get her career back by coming on to Marvin the engineer (Evan Stone). It seems like her fall from grace has schooled her in her humanity. Her natural singing talent and her Gram-bearing hips made her cocky. Can she redeem herself? Porn really does teach us things. It was at this point I wanted Bitoni to win.

Realizing it was Din's machinations all along, the women in his life finally get together, you know, in a "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves" sort of way, taken to logical conclusions.

"Pop Star" is a delightful stocking stuffer ... and so much less sordid than watching TMZ!

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "Pop Star" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Reviews Archive

We'll give you a hand after the gap (or at least 80 percent of one ... Renae Cruz seems to be enjoying it).

Audrey Bitoni uses her face to travel across the low pile carpet with help from Brooke Banner.

Four hands stabilize Ashlynn Brooke.

"The natural chemistry and passion between the girls in every scene is apparent," said director Cyrus Cobain. "The girls aggressively explore each other nonstop with fingers, tongues and big toys. Every scene in this movie is action-packed!"

Or, better yet: "Packed with digits, The Four Finger Club really satisfies!"

Lexi Belle and Kristina Rose are cheating.

· See the Trailer (newsensations.com)
· Buy "The Four Finger Club #24" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photoplay Archive, Porn Of The Moment Archive

· Audrey Bitoni (Megarotic)

* * * * *

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Broken

Studio: Teravision
Director: Dave Navarro
Cast: Sasha Grey, Audrey Bitoni, Jenna Haze, Tommy Gunn, Marco Banderas, Spyder Jonez, Lisa Daniels, Victoria Sin, Kayla Paige

Review by Gram Ponante

The equation of sex with despair, as is fashionable in porn movies lately, is something I don't understand. After she's finished on the bathroom floor, for example, Grey collapses in a sad heap of moroseness. It would be one thing if she worked through her depression with a good wank (and see how I've suspended my disbelief, try doing that sort of thing while weeping openly), but it doesn't seem to do her any good.

That's not to say she doesn't look good while doing it. Grey is sylphlike, vulnerable, and inviting. But if the porn fantasy is that she's also accessible, couldn't her accessibility come as a result of her being slutty rather than without hope? Guess that might be a different movie.

Eventually everyone with a high enough profile who has an interest in the porn world will direct a movie. Screech did it, and we're just waiting for Mr. Belding and David Spade to jump in. But though the mood of "Broken" is dark, Navarro has brought something new to the table. A few things happen in this movie that haven't been seen before, but not so many that it ceases to be a porn movie.

When she's through, Grey enters a Kubrickian overexposed room and has a petulant conversation with some bruiser who doesn't cotton to her tartness. Their conversation is subtitled in Italian. Why? Just in case Ennio Morricone drops by for soundtrack tips. Oh, and because the couple's relationship is Broken.

At one point the bruiser picks Sasha up by her head and lifts her a foot off the ground. He could have just told her to move.

Though he kisses her afterward, she still retreats to the bathroom to shoot up. Because the movie is called "Broken", she needs a fix.

Time passes and we arrive at a porn set in which Tommy Gunn plays the pizza guy to Jenna Haze's lady answering the door in her lingerie. The camera tracks around to several scenes being shot at once. It's a cool effect, as we watch Marco Banderas holding up his own camera while Grey holds up other things, a cameraman zooms in, yet another camera captures the master shot, and Navarro directs, shirtless but hatted.

It's like Dave Navarro's Porn Circus.

When Sasha has finished with Banderas, Navarro directs her to help out the other couples on the set, as if she has completed her art project early and the teacher sends her around to check on the other kids. She aids a threesome with Teravision owner Evan Seinfeld.

This extended sequence is the heart of the film, and is a clever means of getting the porn-standard amount of scenes in. Grey returns to her apartment, having been empowered by her porn experience, and confronts her Babelfish boyfriend.

Then there's a twist ending!

I admit that my prejudice about porn with a bad attitude is my own. I still think you can get more flies (or, in this case, popshots) with honey (or, in this case, a pleasant disposition). But I will admit that some people do behave this way all the time and that "Broken" is a fascinating movie directed like a music video and featuring oversaturated and tasty talent.

It also has a unique narrative style that is refreshing and compelling (but can't be used again).

· Teravision (teravision.com)
· Buy "Broken" @ Adult DVD Empire + Gamelink

Join us after the gap for Audrey Bitoni, Mikayla, Banderas, Scott Nails, someone named Fiona, and the sexiest nursing bra ever.

- - -

Banderas is the gardener for two adjacent homes occupied by spicy brunettes. While his voyeuristic efforts are foiled by bride-to-be Audrey Bitoni, Mikayla, clearly a Univision game show spokesmodel, offers a consolation prize.

Bitoni and her intended share a few moments away from the watchful gaze of the gardener.

We don't know why there are nipple holes in Bitoni's bra. Moths? Shotgun wedding?

We don't even know why Mikayla put on the mask when she went inside. We always don masks when we go outside, to aid in our crimefighting efforts.

Clearly Mikayla is not Fiona. Perhaps she blocked out Banderas' groinal tattoo to avoid heartbreak. Just another example of why relationships between gentry and manual labor are doomed to sadness.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Deeper 6" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photoplay Archive

We know she's 5'4". We know she's at least 20. She's been in about 30 porn movies that we're aware of. She doesn't have an Internet Adult Film Database listing yet. It is eerie that even the internet comes up short on Audrey Bitoni. Sure we could make some calls, sure she probably lives in the apartment building down the street, the one that looks like a monkey's head from the plane. But we prefer to keep Ms. Bitoni a mystery until we bump into her at the Porn Valley Koo Koo Roo.

See more of Ms. Bitoni after the gap. - GP

- - -

Bitoni's image appeared twice in a box of DVDs we just received. A recent survey* indicated that 97 percent of porn purchases are completed on the basis of boxcover photo alone, so we think that "Raincoaters POV 5" and "The Good, The Bad, And the Slutty 2" might sell very well.

Precision is key in all endeavors.

You ever try this? It's uncomfortable, even for the pliant.

*North American Journal of Manufactured Statistics, April, 2007

· Audrey Bitoni's (Doubtful) MySpace Page (myspace.com)
· Buy "The Good, The Bad, And The Sluttys 2" (gamelink.com)
· Red Light Distribution (rlddistribution.com)