As if we needed another excuse to nurture our shameful secret crush on Rachael Ray, along comes this long-lost audio clip from her days as a sex educator. (OK, we guess there might be the slight chance it's a fake—but hey, anyone who says things like "It's so big, I can barely get my fingers around it!" totally deserves to have their words taken out of context.) (YouTube - thanks Blakeley)

Listen Up: More Porn For The Blind

While the concept of "porn for the blind" sounds like the setup for a punchline, the truth is that we've had a few occasions over the years to tell you about legitimate efforts to help the visually impaired enjoy all that hot smut those of us with normal vision take for granted. That said, we're not entirely sure this latest effort is entirely for real: aside from not believing anything this week, to us there's something faintly ridiculous about someone reading a detailed description of the visuals on a website like Big Sausage Pizza in the sort of soothing tones better suited to an accountant explaining capital gains tax. Still, we're aware that there's apparently an audience for this sort of thing, so who knows? And at the very least, an MP3 version of Big Tits Round Asses might be just the thing to get us through our next lengthy commute. (Much as we love Terry Gross, there's only enough "Fresh Air" we can take sometimes.) More »

If you listen to porn backwards will it reveal all the mysteries of the universe or will it just convince you to buy old Black Sabbath records? Honestly, we think most starlets sound the same coming or going. (thenaughtyamerican.com)

Never wanting to be too serious about sex around here (because porn is a very serious job, what with all the Creamatorium and Dirt Pipe DVDs we have to analyze for data and posterity), we like to let other team players be serious about all the smooshy, dangly bits. Like respected author and research phsychoanayist Paul Joannides, who now has a legit sex-science podcast covering everything from hymens to lube studies. Go hymens! (thepleasurereport.com)

A Tennessee judge made an audio recording of his secret fantasies that was so graphic, the FBI got a hold of it and thought they were actually listening to someone being tortured to death. He had to resign in disgrace, of course, but how much do you think he can get for that tape? (foxnews.com)

Commie pinko pervs that we are, we were glad to see three of our very favorite things—porn, public radio, and subsidized healthcare—come together this weekend as NPR profiled Sharon Mitchell and the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation. We also learned that Sharon will talk prospective talent out of a porn career if, say, they're even considering a job in education or politics someday. And you thought they were just about treating crabs! (npr.org; more @ aim-med.org, and more on AIM's "Porn 101" series here)

8-Track Porno: Is It Smut Or Is It Memorex?

Porn is always quick to adapt to new technologies, from the dawn of photography to today's Blu-Ray/HD-DVD war. While many of these new forms of media work better than others (see: Atari porn games), there was always someone who thought it was a good idea at the time. Perhaps the most obscure form of pornographic distribution is the venerable 8-track cassette. Yes, that's right—porno scenes recorded onto 8-track tapes. More »

Moan My IP: Hot Protocol Action

We see a lot of stupid gimmicky sites where you have to use your mouse to make girls squeal, or play some game that removes her clothes and so on, but we didn't think we've seen anything quite as stupid and gimmicky as MoanMyIP.com. You click on the link, the site checks your IP address, and then a disembodied female voice moans the number back to you as if the very mention of routing packets was enough to set her panties aflame. Pretty dumb, right? Or is it pure genius? After thinking about it for a moment, we though it would be the perfect to link gift to send to your favorite IT guy who probably needs something to take his mind off cron jobs and server loads and maybe give him a cheap laugh in the middle of the day. Plus, the next time he finds your favorite website in your corporate laptop's browser history, you just might have the perfect incentive for him to look the other way. More »

Sounds Dirty: Redefining Aural Sex, One Moan At A Time

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