Fleshbot: straight, ashlynn brooke

Somebody's Watching Ashlynn Brooke

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:00:00 EST

Ashlynn Brooke has a confession to make...she's a very dirty girl. And she's got a lot of fantasies that she's just itching to enact...including this one, which involves a little bit of exhibitionism (and some very sexy bathroom time).

· Buy "Ashlynn Brooke's Lesbian Fantasies" (gamelink.com)

If You've Ever Wondered: "WKRP in Cincinati"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:30:01 EST

Supertramp. Jan Smithers. Loni Anderson before Burt Reynolds. Could there be a richer lode of porn gold than "WKRP in Cincinnati"? (Of course there could, but how often do we get the chance to write about Supertramp and Smithers?)

WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Starring: Ashlynn Brooke, Evan Stone, Ryan McLane, Holly Heart, Scott Lyons, Ralph Long, Tee Reel, Rod Fontana, Kagney Linn Karter, Andy San Dimas, Jackie Daniels, Faye Reagan

Review by: Gram Ponante

New Sensations' latest (as of 2 this afternoon, check back in 15 minutes) porn parody faithfully recreates and pornifies the beloved 80's show that made a bombshell out of Loni Anderson, a star out of Howard Hesseman, and a Trivial Pursuit question of Gary Sandy.

Supertramp is in town and WKRP finally has a chance to show a profit by running a contest for front row tickets. But the tickets get lost! In the meantime, dissolute DJ Dr. Johnny Fever (Evan Stone) must keep some enthusiastic 'tramp fans at bay (I call them 'tramp), while the two unlikeliest pairings of anyone in the cast (Ashlynn Brooke's Jennifer with Ralph Long's Herb/Holly Heart's Bailey with Scott Lyons' Les) make for a parody that fans of the original show will appreciate for its attention to detail while reconsidering the necessity of parodying the show in the first place.

All ends well as Jennifer calls up Supertramp's lead singer—a personal friend—to replace the tickets.

New Sensations scores by getting Rick Davies' name right as well as correctly spelling Cincinnati. Had the company not released gems like "The Sex Files," this might be all we could hope for from a porn world that thinks only dummies buy its movies. But in the end, a suspect laugh track and a cast that likely contained only two people (Rod Fontana as Mr. Carlson and Evan Stone) who remembered the original show, leave me feeling a little Les-Nessman-than enthusiastic about this parody. Supertramp and I are looking forward to "True Blood"y Well Right.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "WKRP in Cincinnati: A XXX Parody" (gamelink.com)

So, You'd Like To Participate In (The) "Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures in Sex" (Contest)

Ottimo Massimo — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:00:00 EST

We bet you're wondering who won last week's limerick contest. Click to find out! Plus, another chance to win free porn!

On Wednesday, we all watched Ashlynn Brooke's adventure through the kitchen of doom (and aproned boobs). As we all know, Ashlynn's been extremely bold throughout her luxurious career. With that in mind, we ask you to describe Ashlynn's next Indiana Jones-esque adventure. Here's how it works:

Imagine Ashlynn Brooke's next movie as if she were Indiana Jones. Simple enough, right? For example:
"Ashlynn Brooke and the Kingdom of the Crystal Dildo" (Thanks, Lux!)
Feel free to fill in some key plot points, but keep in mind brevity is always best.

Post your entries in the comments section. We'll let you know our favorite next week, and the would-be filmmaker will win a copy of Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures in Sex!

Last, but not least, we have to declare a winner in the "House of Ass 11" Contest. Many thanks to everyone who entered. All of the limericks were brilliant, funny, and—most importantly—insightful. derekuw, for example, had a tri-limerick about entering the House of Ass that reminded us of Paradise Lost, but in reverse. We loved the quick punchiness of bokkimanko's limerick, especially the line about "weapons of ass destruction." You are all magnificent writers.

However, the Grand Prize goes to...
boodie4daze!

Here's the award-winning poem:

O' smack on that proud bulbous mass
As it juts from this tramp stamped lass
She backed that shit up
Like a down-facing pup
And I painted one big House of Ass

I feared, in a manner of speaking
That the neighborhood might tend toward reeking
But when I got round the bend
And approached the rear end
The House of Ass was above all critiquing.

Congratulations! Enjoy your well-earned copy of "House of Ass 11" and all that it symbolizes. We'll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Fancy, foxy Ashlynn via AshlynnBrooke.com (nsgalleries.com)

Someone's In The Kitchen With Ashlynn

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:00:00 EST

Someone's in the kitchen I kno-o-o-ow...someone's in the kitchen with Ashlynn, eating out her asshole! (God, don't you love those good old campfire classics? They never fail to put a smile on our face.)

· Buy "Ashlynn Brooke's Adventures in Sex"

Popshots of the Week!

Gram Ponante — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 17:00:59 EDT

Pornish things happened all across California this week and I bore witness to them, from exhibitionists in cow palaces to rabbit holes to Porn's version of the bloodsucking bayou. We start with Noname Jane onstage in San Francisco.

Jane was just about to squirt chocolate on herself, at which point my camera was jostled by ravening lesbians who proceeded to lick it off her.

The event was the Exotic Erotic Ball, a hit or miss affair with heart and soul and plenty of local color. Like this protester's sign, however, the Ball tried to cater to as diverse a group as possible but didn't have its act together. Still, the friendliness of the crowd inside was a very welcome and opposite counterpoint to the real hatred of this group of protesters.

Down south, delightful pixie Aiden Starr auditions for Erica McLean and Carlos Batts' upcoming "Alice in Wonderland" porn adaptation (which will be at least the third this year and, if she gets the role, Starr's second foray through the looking glass).

April Flores, of course, plays the Red Queen. I think that will be awesome.

Across Porn Valley, Ashlynn Brooke plays Sookie in New Sensations' adaptation of "True Blood," scripted by Brooke herself. She is so unbelievably pretty I forgot her clothes were on.

The chameleonic Misty Stone plays Tara (she just found out Lafayette was dead) and Evan Stone plays Evan Stone playing a guy from the show. In the background we see Ralph Long, pulling double duty as a boom operator (we last saw Long as Screech in "This Ain't Saved by the Bell" as well as in "The Sex Files").

Finally we managed to get inside, to Silverlake's Bigfoot Lodge (this reporter's local bar), where at 10 in the morning Misty Stone inspired more wood within the woody surroundings.

Fayth Deluca Conclusively Proves That "She Likes It Big"

DCypher — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:00:00 EDT

We all have different ideas on what "big" actually means. When it comes to stuffing a throbbing hard prick into the drooling snatch of a young girl, "big" is an often misused and relative term.

So let's be clear—when Digital Sin tells you something like, just a random thought here, a young girl likes it "big," they are in no way merely fucking around. Although, to be fair, there is truly an admirable amount of horseplay involved in this particular porn series.

Director Paul Woodcrest upped the ante on this volume, shooting the entire series vignette style in a jaw dropping mansion. We can only assume that in Paul's version of the world, men with these kinds of endowments are afforded the royal treatment they so generously mete out to beautiful, morally uncomplicated young girls they encounter within the compound walls.

While the idea is far from new (having originated inside the deranged and holy mind of Brigham Young first for a simpler, more religious-based purpose), the technique displayed, coupled with extremely rigorous quality control standards, are what set volume four of this stellar series apart.

And while none of the cast appear to be older than their mid twenties (with more than half dressed up like Catholic school girls), each and every single last one of them displays an ample understanding—nay, appreciation—of the length and girth of the incredible fuck sticks they are presented.

For example, New Sensations contract star Ashlynn Brooke ravenously devours the enormous cunt stretcher delivered to her, practically unhinging her jaw in the process to get the meaty treat all the way in. She then enthusiastically bounces up and down on it until at long last the whole thing is crammed way up into her guts and creams her young brains out. It's a lot of fun to watch!

Krystal Kali, Fayth Deluca, Alonna Red, and Sadie West also seem to understand, for the most part, that these dicks are special. The size queens suck these massive meat missiles like they were hard rock candy.

Fayth (whose cleverly misspelled name is sure to annoy other writers as well) turns in a scorching hot scene, getting her insides practically drilled out for the whole world to see. After such an extraordinary scene, we'll be keeping our eyes open for more of her work. If you're reading this, Fayth: we'll be expecting big things from you little lady.

"She Likes It Big 4" comes out next week from Digital Sin and Paul Woodcrest. In the meantime, feel free to check out our lovely (and exclusive) assortment of sample pictures from the set.

Fayth Deluca
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Fayth Deluca
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Fayth Deluca
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Fayth Deluca
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Krystal Kali
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Krystal Kali
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Krystal Kali
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Krystal Kali
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Krystal Kali
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Alonna Red
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Sadie West
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Sadie West
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Sadie West
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Sadie West
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
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New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Pornstars In Polyester: "'70s Show: A XXX Parody"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Quick word of advice: jizz will not wash out of polyester. Trust us.

'70s Show: A XXX Parody

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Cast: Brooke Banner, Ashlynn Brooke, Missy Stone, Rachel Love, Kaci Starr, Patrick J. Knight, Anthony Rosano, Ralph Long, Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, Ethan Cage, Steve Smith, Pike Nelson

When we first announced "'70s Show" on this site, there was quite a hubbub about casting choices, hair color, and overall attention to the original. In response to the commotion:
Yes, Brooke Banner makes an excellent Donna. And Rachel Love does an outstanding Kitty Foreman.
No, the wigs aren't perfect, but the hair color is pretty accurate.
Yes, Bob and Midge really should've been in this.

Honestly, the one thing that tweaked my obsessive side was the pubic hair. It was (a FOX network tribute to) the '70s! As a young lad, I totally had a crush on Donna, but would've gladly gone out with Jackie, and was down to fool around with Laurie. Naturally, a critical part of the whole four-way fantasy was pubic hair: big, scruffy, retro bushes. Do you think I got retro bushes? Of course not. Next thing I know, someone will tell me Charlie's Angels were all shaved, too.

Gripes aside, "'70s Show" offers genuine giggles. The story revolves around a Led Zeppelin concert the whole gang attends. Eric (Patrick J. Knight) and Donna try to go backstage to see the band, but only Donna is allowed in. Sadly, it's all a trick. Donna thinks she's blowing three security guards so she can meet Robert Plant, but really she's just slobbing on the cleaning crew. Meanwhile, Fez (Pike Nelson) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano) dress up like rock stars in order to trick groupies into sleeping with them. For no reason, Eric's sister Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) shows up to do laundry and fuck Kelso.

Although Missy Stone may not look exactly like Mila Kunis, she has the voice down perfectly. Better yet, she throws out brilliant one-liners during her scene with Ralph Long (as the sideburned Hyde): "I can't believe I'm messing up my hair for you!" Best of all, she's Missy Stone, and she's unbelievably hot. No surprises there.

Being attracted to Rachel Love as Kitty? That was a surprise. There's something magical about watching Red's Korean War veteran angst come bubbling to the surface as he fucks his wife with a grimace. Like any man would, he comes early and walks off to grab a sandwich. While he's gone, Hyde comes in, shrugs, and helps Kitty finish.

When the funny is on, it's really on, and it blurs the line between accuracy and arousal. Hyde is a notorious mooch, so it seems natural for him to swoop up the sloppy seconds that Red leaves lying on the couch. When the gang is smoking pot in the basement, the camera pans from stoned face to gaping jaw. There's even a theme song that bears a striking resemblance to the original! Lee Roy Myers nailed it. The attention to detail warms the heart of the most nitpicky fan. Even I'm willing to forgive their trespasses against pubic hair.

Tori Black Fucks Her Little Heart Out In "Entourage – A XXX Parody"

DCypher — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:00:00 EDT

What better way to get even with the studio that's keeping you from blockbuster roles than to make a porn parody? It almost sounds like an actual episode of a series that has clearly jumped the shark.

Such is the clever twist that guides the loose plot of New Sensations' newest self aware porn parody "Entourage – A XXX Parody." Directed by Lee Roy Myers, the spoof covers all our favorite players, including Eric, Vince, Turtle, Drama, Ari, and Lloyd.

Myers's pornified version picks up somewhere between seasons two and three, after Vince's latest film flops, when Turtle decides to upload a celebrity sex tape of Vince and everyone's favorite super-starlet-next-door, Mandy Moorehead. From there it's so spot on that Marky Mark and the Writer's Guild should get a cut of the residuals from this thing.

Ultimately, fans of the show will love it. The players actually kinda look like the real actors on the show, and great attention to detail is paid. But, while the real show's pull is not only its cast of plucky characters but the allure of Hollywood itself (replete with every single saccharin stereotype non-Angelino's insist on perpetuating) the porn parody must be based on hot sex, no matter how closely the movie apes the object of it's adoration. Luckily it stars sexy Ashlynn Brooke, Penthouse Pet Tori Black, Priya Rai, Jayden James, and Eva Ellington, all fine young women far more interested in servicing huge cocks than taking cold reading classes off Laurel Canyon.

While we have always loved Ashlynn's, um, work, we were particularly thrilled with the effort young Miss Black puts forward. She takes an amazing fucking, so much so that it distracts us from the plot. We owe you one there, babycakes.

"Entourage – A XXX Parody" comes out today. The hardcore trailer is available here—or view the soft trailer on YouTube. And, of course, be sure to check out the goodness in our exclusive gallery below.

Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Tori Black and Anthony Rosano
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Ashlynn Brooke
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Priya Rai
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Jayden James
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)
Eva Ellington
"Entourage - A XXX Parody" (entouragexxx.com)

"The Sex Files" Helps Us Believe Again

Gram Ponante — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Porn doesn't fly off the shelves anymore (unless it's HAUNTED), so parodies must stand on their own (if you can be expected to). We wanted to believe Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano in "The Sex Files," and we did.

The Sex Files

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Sam Hain
Cast: Kimberly Kane, Anthony Rosano, Ashlynn Brooke, Audrey Bitoni, Rod Fontana, Tyler Knight, Aurora Snow, Gracie Glam, Jackie Daniels, Tory Lane, Taylor Vixen, Angelica Raven, Evan Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

Writer/director Sam Hain had a grand vision for this "dark" parody (which was, thankfully, not as dark as most Wicked movies).

"I wanted it to fit into a plot hole in 'The X Files' that lots of fans were talking about," he said. "We see Scully (played in the original show by dour, buttoned-down saucypants Gillian Anderson) leaving a room as she's adjusting her clothes, and inside we see Mulder ('The Rapture''s David Duchovny) on the bed."

Well, a season later, Scully was pregnant and the show that coincided with the birth of chatroom culture had a cliffhanger every bit as potent as "Who Shot J.R.?"

So Hain wrote this movie as a bit of geekery, plugging the plot hole as neatly as reams of fan fiction had Mulder and Scully plugging each other in space, in Navajo boxcars, ghost ships, and under the watchful eye of the Chupacabra.

"But I tried to make it organic to the original show," Hain said.

All right, Mr. Hain. We are convinced of your earnestness. But is there room in today's crowded marketplace for earnest porn?

"The Sex Files" (New Sensations received a cease and desist letter from Fox, breaking the porn studio's graceful string of parody titles unburdened by either "Not the" or "This Ain't") cold-opens with sultry pixie Ashlynn Brooke astride a grateful but nervous older man (Guy DaSilva, who is also getting some work as porn's "Barrack Obama"). She reassures him that he was just fine, but now she wants to try something kinky. The camera tactfully pans away as she rips him to shreds with her mouth.

Next we meet Mulder and Scully (Kimberly Kane and Anthony Rosano), two FBI agents inhabiting a dimly lit D.C. basement. They are sent to Los Angeles to investigate some grisly serial killings, but Mulder balks. It has little to do with his job description, working on cases that deal in the kooky and paranormal.

If you've seen "The X Files," you are already satisfied that Kane and Rosano are expertly cast, clothed, and coiffed, and Rod Fontana as their boss, Skinner, is also an apt substitute for Mitch Pileggi. In fact, Fontana/Skinner gets to do what Pileggi/Skinner didn't: fuck his secretary, Aurora Snow.

"It's getting hot in here," she says, removing some layers.

"Federal buildings' air conditioning," Fontana syas.

The triumph of this pornification of "The X Files" is that Hain gets the silence right as well as many of the details. Much of how long-term partners Scully and Mulder communicate is non-verbal. But the occasional flareups of wordy exposition, also characteristic of the original show, is handled just about deftly by the actors, who obviously had much more of a dialogue workout on this film than any other in their careers.

But the time this movie takes to reveal what other porn flicks feel behooved to get out of the way ASAP makes Kane's first nude scene (the lonely Mulder catches her coming out of the shower) electric.

"Sorry," stammers Mulder, averting his eyes. "Good night, Scully."

It turns out that Ashlynn Brooke is Lilith, an apocryphal Hebrew succubus summoned back to life (and Pasadena) by creepy sex magick practitioner Andrew Barsons (Ralph Long). As Mulder and Scully track Barsons' movements, Lilith devours leather-clad swingers Evan Stone and Audrey Bitoni.

She even eats Stone's balls.

You should boycott "The Sex Files" on principle if it did not feature a sex scene between Mulder and Scully, so luckily for everyone it does. And their climactic tryst doesn't arrive by some device like a dream sequence. We actually sense their longing for each other throughout the movie. It's, well, earnest.

Another selling point of this movie is how good it looks. Shot on the red digital camera, "The Sex Files" looks rich. And the color palette provided by a series of lush brunettes and the languid Kane give the movie a real beauty. Furthermore, Stone and Rosano provide plenty of eye candy for female and gay audiences, and the gore is all off-camera.

Kane and Rosano carry this movie, which was very carefully directed by Hain to allow for beats and stillness. Director of Photography Eddie Powell throws in a special effect that has never before been seen in porn, and we are left in the end with a real feeling of hope that bad shit will never again befall Mulder and Scully.

I wish for everyone involved that this movie could have been sold on those alt.xfiles BBS pages of yore and made ten times its budget back, but this movie is going up against some heavy hitters as we move into AVN nomination season.

Still, if you Trust No One other than me, you really should see "The Sex Files." You'll believe - in your pants!!!!

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
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Too Much Ashlynn Brooke Is Never Enough

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:00:00 EDT

We firmly believe that there's no such thing as too much of a good thing: especially when that good thing happens to be a woman like Ashlynn Brooke, and especially when she's willing to engage in carnal acts on camera.

In fact, when it comes to that particular situation, we're actually of the opinion that if you could hook us up to an IV, and stream a constant dose of Ashlynn Brooke into our system, that would maybe be about an acceptable level of Ashlynn Brooke saturation. Until that technology is available, though, we'll stick to just gorging on her with our eyes.

· Buy "All About Ashlynn 3" (tlavideo.com)

*****

Previously: Boxcover Of The Week: "All About Ashlynn 3"

"The Sex Files" Approaches...And We Can't Wait To Watch It

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:30:01 EDT

In just over a week, the wait will be over: "The Sex Files" (formerly known as "The X-Files: A XXX Parody") will be in stores, and all our Gillian Anderson fantasies will finally be realized (or so we assume).

How can we be so confident? Well, you might just say we've seen the trailer. And with a little ingenuity (and some clicking) on your part, you, too, can be on the fast track to sci-fi porno insiderdom. (Trailer above.)

· "The Sex Files - A Dark XXX Parody" (thesexfilesmovie.com)

Boxcover Of The Week: "All About Ashlynn 3"

Gram Ponante — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Ashlynn Brooke, New Sensations' lone contract girl, is as perfect in person as she is in these pictures. This is almost unprecedented in porn, because pictures so rarely capture the urge to stuff Ashlynn Brooke into one's mouth.

"She has the most perfect fake boobs I have ever seen," said Kimberly Kane of Brooke, and what better compliment in the cutthroat world of porn girls is there than that? (Honorable Mention: "She has Gummi Bear boobs" - Dana DeArmond of Jenny Hendrix.)

In this compilation Brooke, makes her way through porn's more amicable dudes, such as Anthony Rosano in an odd "Matrix"-y segment and James Deen in a pose that looks like a non-animated "Yellow Submarine."

Brooke is delicious throughout, however, and, at barely 5'2", fits right on top of a cake.

"70s Show - A XXX Parody": A First Look

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:00:00 EDT

While we were busy obsessing over "30 Rock - A XXX Parody" and "The Sex Files - A Dark XXX Parody," New Sensations was working hard to put out yet another parody porn masterpiece: "70s Show: A XXX Parody."

The feature streets on September 21 (less than three weeks away!), and though we don't know the exact details of the plot (except that it seems to involve lots of sex, lots of weed, and a Kiss show), or just what wacky, sexy adventure the gang will get up to, we do have this awesome photo set. And let us just tell you: it looks super, duper hot. And we are loving some of the porn doppelgangers they've lined up: Rachel Love makes an impeccable Kitty, and Ralph Long—who's been everyone from "30 Rock"'s Pete to the janitor from "Scrubs"—seems simply born to play Hyde.

After seeing these photos, there's really only one question left in our minds: how, exactly, are we supposed to wait 19 days to see this movie?

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner)New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and Eric (Patrick J. Knight)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Laurie (Ashlynn Brooke) and Kelso (Anthony Rosano)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Donna (Brooke Banner) and the roadies (Justin Magnum, Bo Banner, and Ethan Cage)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Hyde (Ralph Long) and Jackie (Missy Stone)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Jackie (Missy Stone) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
>Kitty (Rachel Love)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Red (Steve Smith)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Red (Steve Smith)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Kitty (Rachel Love) and Hyde (Ralph Long)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Pam (Kaci Starr)
New Sensations (newsensations.com)

"WKRP" Vs. "WKRP XXX": A Comparison

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:35:34 EDT

Fox may not have been too pleased with "The X-Files: A XXX Parody," but that hasn't turned New Sensations off of parodies entirely. They've just announced shooting dates for their next one—and this time, they're taking on WKRP.

So how do the porn radio stars take on their sitcom counterparts? We've arranged a comparison for you to study and see for yourself. (~~One note though: try as we might, we couldn't manage to find a picture of XXX Andy, Ryan McLane. Perhaps some things are better left a surprise.~~ Scratch that, the team at New Sensations remedied our little problem.)

Jennifer: Loni Anderson
Jennifer XXX: Ashlynn Brooke

Carlson: Gordon Jump
Carlson XXX: Rod Fontana

Andy: Gary Sandy
Andy XXX: Ryan McLane

Johnny: Howard Hesseman
Johnny XXX: Evan Stone

Venus: Tim Reid
Venus XXX: Tee Reel

Herb:Frank Bonner
Herb XXX: Ralph Long

Les: Richard Sanders
Les XXX: Scott Lyons

Bailey: Jan Smithers
Bailey XXX: Holly Heart

Carmen Carlson: Ally Ann McLerie
Carmen Carlson XXX: Janet Mason

And, of course, the girls for whom we found no actual counterparts:

Bianca: Faye Reagan

Simone: Jackie Daniels

Linda: Kagney Linn Karter

Nicole: Andy San Dimas

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Kimberly Kane And Ashlynn Brooke In "The X-Files: A Dark XXX Parody"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Just as Fox Mulder wanted aliens to be real, we keep hope alive that adult parodies can be legitimate expressions of the pornic arts. That's why we are curious as a randy chupacabra about this "X-Files" parody.

Starring Kimberly Kane as Dana Scully and the dreamy Anthony Rosano as Mulder (with the magically delicious Ashlynn Brooke going back to her dark roots temporarily to play a demoness), "The X-Files: A Dark Parody" was conceived as an actual "X Files" episode but with sex, taking place in the time in the series when Gillian Anderson's Scully became pregnant and fans wondered if she'd been Muldered and Californicated.

Why does this excite us? Because this is geeky fan fiction with a porn twist just as much as it is a marketing ploy.

And like the Sam and Diane of the FBI, people wanted Mulder and Scully to get their X on. The two characters get together in the movie's climactic scene - and it's not a dream sequence.

One thing that is the stuff of fantasy is Ashlynn Brooke's rack.

"She has the best fake boobs I have ever seen," said Kane.

"The X Files: A Dark Parody" will be released in September.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

Ashlynn Brooke Is Sexy In (Or Out Of) "Scrubs"

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Though a show like "Scrubs" may not have the emotional resonance of, say, childhood classics like "The Cosby Show" and "The Brady Bunch," it still manages to translate well (and erotically) to the porno screen.

Observe: Ellie, DJ, and The Ted united together in a holy trinity (as it were). Is that true to the show or what? (And if you say what, well, it's still really hot.)

· Buy "Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (gamelink.com)
· Scrubs XXX (scrubsxxx.com)

*****

Previously: The Doctor Is In: "Scrubs - A XXX Parody"

"Seinfeld XXX": Festivus Comes Early And Often With Kristina Rose

Gram Ponante — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:30:01 EDT

Porn parodies are like Round And Round, a Ratt cover band fronted by your sister and her really hot friends, with your probation officer on drums; there must be a compelling reason to see them rather than the real thing.

Seinfeld: A XXX Parody

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Cast: James Deen, Ashlynn Brooke, Sadie West, Evan Stone, Sasha Grey, Cassandra Calogera, Kristina Rose, Natalie Norton, London Keys, Eric John, Tony DeSergio

Review by: Gram Ponante

"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" is the long-anticipated, much-dreaded New Sensations product that seemed to signal the barrelbottom-scraping of the porn parody trend, in which a show with only one vaguely pornable main character out of several non-starters is upended and tweaked for maximum adult entertainment.

What gave "Seinfeld XXX" the greenlight over, say, an equally unlikely pornic adaptation of "Rhoda" was that some of the cast members were born during the run of the original.

For fans of Jerry Seinfeld's nine-season show, there is plenty about the parody to vaguely nod about; the costumes and set are similar, the familiar bass riffs are there, and director Lee Roy Myers even takes a shot at recreating camera angles.

But is it funny? I seem to remember the original show was funny.

Sadly, though it tries really hard, "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" is not funny.

(People say the same thing about me, what with my Ratt references that are introduced and never repeated. Just watch.)

"So what's the deal with the '-ography' on the end of 'pornography'?" asks Gary (James Deen—for some reason producers chose to slightly change each character's first name) in a wraparound standup segment. "It means 'to study something,' right?"

Gary then riffs, Jerry Seinfeld-like, on pornography vs. dickography. Deen has the inflection down and Myers has the lighting down, and there is a laugh track that you want to punch in the face, but neither is the segment funny nor does "-ography" mean "to study something." That's "-ology."

Ditto the ballpark re-creations of Kramer ("Crammer"), the Soup Nazi (Evan Stone as the Porn Nazi), and George ("Gorge"); each is a good try but there is nothing in those performances or the writing that justifies a movie.

Kristina Rose as "Elaina" is the exception. She channels Julia Louis-Dreyfus admirably, and she is the gateway to all that is wonderful about "Seinfeld XXX."

Because Rose's two scenes and those of Ashlynn Brooke, Sasha Grey, Sadie West, London Keys, and Cassandra Calogera stand out; it is the one area in the movie where the contrivances are welcome (Calogera interrupts Gary onstage, the only example in recorded history of a good heckler). And that is a huge relief, because it's a porn movie.

What saves "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (you have to read the XXX as "triple X" rather than "ecks ecks ecks" to make that A work) is that the sex scenes are really good, which means the movie's priorities are in order.

But do parody producers think the audience deserves the tension involved in a series of unfavorable comparisons with the source material just for the releasing capabilities of a Kristina Rose and Ashlynn Brooke in sex scenes that could have been in any other movie?

I guess so, because I really wanted the sex scenes to be good, and the tit pops and cum shots were more important to me than the punchlines and rim shots.

You're out of the cellar for this round, New Sensations; just don't remake "Maude."

Kristina Rose and James Deen
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
Buy "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (gamelink.com)
Steve Pomerantz
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Eric John
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Kristina Rose
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Eric John, Steve Pomerantz, Kristina Rose, and James Deen
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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James Deen
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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J. Walker
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Natalie Norton
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Evan Stone
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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London Keys
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Kristina Rose and London Keys
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Ashlynn Brooke
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Ashlynn Brooke and Evan Stone
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Sadie West
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Sasha Grey
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Sadie West, Sasha Grey, and Eric John
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Cassandra Calogera
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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James Deen
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Cassandra Calogera and James Deen
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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Natalie Norton and Tony DeSergio
"Seinfeld: A XXX Parody" (seinfeldxxx.com)
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The Doctor Is In: "Scrubs - A XXX Parody"

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:00:00 EDT

We've been hotly anticipating the release of "Scrubs - A XXX Parody" for several months now—and from your comments, it seems that you have too. At long last, we can tell you if it was worth the wait.

Like all good porn parodies, "Scrubs XXX" closely mimics the look and feel of its inspiration, from copying the opening credits to copying the pacing, humor and jokes. As the trailer demonstrated, "Scrubs XXX" really gets "Scrubs"—always an admirable quality in a porno parody.

However, it's worth noting that anyone who's seen the trailer has pretty much seen the bulk of this porn's plot. To be fair, there are some good jokes and bits that don't make it in to the two minute reel—but if you're looking for an indepth story beyond a simple "J.D. gets everyone laid"... this is not the "Scrubs" porn parody for you.

If, on the other hand, you're looking for a porn parody that intersperses the feel of the show with a whole, whole lot of hot sex, then you've definitely met your match. The cast of "Scrubs XXX" performs just as well out of their scrubs as they do in them (wait, no: they perform even better when they're out of them). In particular, we were partial to the first and last sex scenes. Sex scene one has James Deen flashing back to his med school days, which apparently involved more in-hospital threeways (with the lovely Joanna Angel and Alexis Texas) than, um, actual studying; the final scene joins Deen, Ashlynn "Ellie" Brooke, and Kris "The Ted" Slater. Do we have a thing for James Deen? Or do we just like threeways? We'll let you decide that one.

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" is available through its sweet website. We suggest you buy two copies and call us in the morning.

Ashlynn Brooke

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Tori Black

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Tori Black and Jack Lawrence

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
James Deen and Ashlynn Brooke

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Kris Slater, Ashlynn Brooke, and James Deen

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Missy Stone

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Ralph Long

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Ralph Long and Missy Stone

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Thea Marie

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Shane Diesel

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Alexis Texas

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Joanna Angel

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Joanna Angel, Alexis Texas, and James Deen

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)

Ashlynn Brooke Wets Her Mainstream Feet In "Piranha 3-D"

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Looks like Riley Steele isn't the only pornstar making her mainstream debut in "Piranha 3-D": Ashlynn Brooke has twittered that she also has a role in the film. Here's hoping it's a role that involves making out with Riley.

· Ashlynn's Tweet (twitter.com)
· Thumbnail via Twistys (twistys.com, via Ask Jolene)

Seinfeld Porn Teaser Hits The Internets

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:15:00 EDT

Will New Sensations be able to nail the Seinfeld vibe in "Seinfeld - A XXX Parody"? From the looks of this just released teaser, yes. Will they be able to make it sexy? The jury's still out on that one.