Fleshbot: straight, alana evans

Learn The Feminine Mystique From "Not The Brady Bunch XXX: Pussy Power"

Ottimo Massimo — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:00:00 EST

Sure, this episode was good, but Will Ryder should probably move on before Cousin Oliver shows up.

Not The Bradys XXX: Pussy Power

Studio: LFP Distribution/X-Play
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Lexi Belle, Dylan Riley, Kacey Jordan, Alana Evans, Lynn Lemay, Ashlyn Rae, Nicole Ray, Tanner Mayes, Mike Horner, Kris Slater, James Deen, Mikey Butders, Ron Jeremy, Eric John, Seth Gamble, Dane Cross

On this episode of "Not The Bradys," young Jan (now played by Dylan Riley) feels neglected by her family, teachers, and—most of all—the boys at her school. Little does Jan know that all she needs to get a little attention (or tickets to a concert, or good grades) is some Pussy Power. And with that skirting-the-edges-of-sexist comment, let the film begin!

Lucky for Jan, bad girl Tanner Mayes shows up at the Brady Compound and wildly masturbates in Jan's bed, which somehow introduces her to the world of mature decisions and sexual favors. Jan realizes that the key to Marcia's success has always been blowjobs, and so her only hope of "being good at something" lies in emulating her big sister.

Meanwhile, everyone else is having sex, looking good in their ‘70s garb, maintaining erections and wholesome imagery, etc. Lexi Belle is the new Marcia, and she fits the role just fine. Her secret romp with the high school quarterback is not only inspirational to the viewer, but to Jan and Cindy as well.

On the male side of things, all is well. James Deen is still adorable as Peter. He somehow manages to look goofy and enthusiastic in the middle of his scene with Tanner, just like good ol' Christopher Knight. Mikey Butders embodies the coy Bobby Brady just as well. His threesome with Ashlyn Rae and Nicole Ray is one of the finest in Brady family history. Except maybe for that one time Alice stumbled into Mr. and Mrs. B's bedroom.

But hey, gang! There are some things more disappointing than Jan's violin playing (insert laugh track here). They still haven't delivered on that real, slow Sam the Butcher/Alice loving, although the characters talk about it non-stop. However, there is a simulated sex scene in which Alice ducks behind the kitchen island and Ron Jeremy pretends to be fellated most comically. Like most of the humor in Will Ryder parodies, this goes until it becomes awkward, keeps going, and then arbitrarily stops.

All in all, it feels like another Will Ryder movie: the sex is very good, the comedy is very bad, and everyone can feel ok about the lack of Brady-on-Brady boinking. The whole Pussy Power thing is something to think about. We always wondered how Carol convinced a man to take her and her three daughters in; "much more than a hunch" indeed.

"Tinkletime": Number One Makes Number Three

Gram Ponante — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Like Native Americans using every last bit of the buffalo, director Jim Powers doesn't let his charges leave until they've done everything they possibly could to satisfy a fetish customer including, if need be, peeing in the snow.

If you think "Tinkletime" over-infantilizes women in an industry where they are disproportionately labeled as schoolgirls and put in pigtails well, you're right. But watching a couple of dozen scenes (shot over the last hundred years or so) of the likes of Alana Evans, Audrey Hollander, Katja Kassin, Ally Ann, and porn Troubled Girl Tanner Mayes doing their best versions of the cover of "Who's Next?" also allows straight male consumers a thrill not often afforded them: the woman they're watching is not faking it.

So have your private doubts about why this is fun (I did); at the least, each of the subjects appears ready, willing, and wide open, even if her intentions are different.

Bonus creepy points for the theme song, a note for note parody of the Go Gos' "Vacation." I'm sure you can guess some of the lyrics already.

JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
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JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
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JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
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JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
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JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy "Tinkletime 3" (jadedvideo.com)

Popshots of the Week! Irrational Exuberance Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:30:19 EDT

Just when you thought that you'd be Palin/Paylin-less this week, remember that it's the Halloween before a major election. Let's just hypothesize that, in the spirit of this space's inaccurate prediction of the Patriots' chances in the 2008 SuperBowl, that McCain/Palin bucks polls and makes it into the White House next week. What will we do then? Well, we'll have to choose between Lisa Ann and Raquel Devine. (But we'll do it from Canada, of course.)

Is Lisa Ann and Raquel Devine made special effort to channel the Veep nominee, the delightful Alana Evans was just blonde as Cindy McCain. We approve this choice.

Marilyn Chambers meets another magical Amazon in Hollywood last week.

Brand new Digital Playground contract star Angelina Armani^TM looks to the east on Sunset Boulevard. "I'm from New York so I'm just getting used to it out here," she said.

Let's hope this is not the view we get of Obama (played by Steve Driver) on November 4.

Porno Palin Part Two: This Time with Obama

Gram Ponante — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:45:06 EDT

Lefty pornographers have been a little smug in their expectations of an Obama victory in two weeks, and thus have had to ask ourselves some hard questions about the recent spate of Sarah Palin porn. How would we react to porn spoofs of the other side? Well, in the second major studio Sarah Palin porn project, the Democratic presidential nominee gets to hear his opponent say "Now here's some Grade A Alaskan puss."

Raquel Devine stars as Sarah Palin (note the correct spelling) in a movie for a new company called adultspoof.com (the website will be up on Monday October 27). In "Erection 2008: Rode to the White House," we meet stand-ins for Palin, John and Cindy McCain (Mark Davis and Alana Evans) and Barack Obama (Steve Driver).

As Palin, Devine is hilarious. Among her ad-libs were "Bring the wife next time" and "Lemme put some lipstick on that pig." And Steve Driver, who looked very presidential, will doubtless be assured work for the next four years.

But just in case, alternate endings were shot for the movie.

· Adult Spoof (10/27) (adultspoof.com)

How To (Yet Again) Break Into The Porn Industry

Jonnobot — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:20:07 EDT

Because we still tend to receive emails from horny guys asking us how to break into the porn business no matter how much we ignore them, from now on we're considering just directing them to this informative video from the team at BushLeagueTV instead (even if we're not entirely sold on the idea that a moustache is necessary for success—this ain't 1978 anymore, you know). Sure, following a few simple steps might not get you a starring role opposite the likes of Alana Evans, Aurora Snow, or Teagan right off the bat ... but everyone has to start somewhere, right?

. . .

· BushLeague 101 - How to Break into the Porn Industry

Where In The World Is Hillary Scott? (Part 1)

Gram Ponante — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:20:14 EDT

Hanging over the set of "Not the Bradys XXX 2" (yes, if there can be an "Agent Cody Banks 2," there can be a "Not the Bradys XXX 2") was the pregnant question "Where's Marcia, Marcia, Marcia?" You see, back in Ought-7, Hillary Scott originated that role in the first "Not the Bradys XXX." But contractual obligations conspired to take Scott away from the series to replace her with former Digital Playground star Teagan Presley. What? You're saying this means nothing to you and that you're more concerned about who will replace John Travolta in the remake of "Dallas"? Well, Hillary's absence is big news here, anyway. Read more after the gap.

. . .

There are actually three core cast members not returning from the first "Not the Bradys": Cindi, originally played by the orthodontically fabulous Leah Luv, has been replaced by Kacey Jordan, and the role of Greg, once inhabited by Benjamin Brat, will now be interpreted by Chris Slater.

Returning will be the delightful Aurora Snow as Jan, the wicked Alana Evans as Carol, the frank Lynn Lemay as Alice, and the reasonable Mike Horner as Mike. James Deen returns as Peter in a role he was born to play.

But if Hillary Scott isn't here, where is she? Stay tuned.

2008 AVN Awards Red Carpet: And the Line Goes On Forever

Gram Ponante — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:53:46 EST

200 people (and one Lorax) walked the AVN Awards red carpet last Saturday night, and the line of porn stars and their co-walkers lengthened down the hallways of Mandalay Bay for more than three hours. Altogether it was an orderly group, and we can tell you from personal experience that it was the press photographers who were the least well-behaved. Here we see a load of starlets (that is their official collective term) getting ready for the carpet media gauntlet, which ran from Dave Navarro at one end to Robin Leach at the other, mercifully passing through Playboy interviewer Casey Parker in the middle. See more snaps after the gap.

While Jesse Jane rovided interview wrap-ups from a stage just outside the Awards, Casey Parker was Playboy's Girl on the Floor, and as such she probably appeared in more photographs than anyone. By the end f the evening she was just as chipper as in the beginning. Here she chats with jessica drake about oing anal. ("You don't just dive in," drake said.)

Flower Tucci can always be counted on for an outfit that seems at once accessible and impossibly out of reach. Here she confounds us with a prize that could only be won after several frustrating hours of unlacing.

Marco Banderas and partner Lisa DeMarco (get it?) cut striking figures, but what was more impressive was Banderas' skill at turning just in time toward any camera aimed at him from anywhere in the room, as if to say, "Hola, Fleshbot readers!"

I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.

We have never been sure of Robin Leach's function at this event, but we always see him. Leach's own cameraman was beloved of porn stars for asking Jenna Jameson and Tera Patrick who they were (thugh he did recognize Jameson beau Tito Ortiz). Meanwhile, Leach kept a personal record of the Not So Rich and Famous.

At the opposite end of the carpet performers were kept in yet another holding pen.

Former performer Joe Lawrence and signees of his talent agency were the last to walk the red carpet. Much of the press had left at this time since the awards show was two hours late, but no porn star was left behind.

Previously: 2008 AVN Awards: Dispatches From The Front

The Other Side of the "Pussy Party"

Gram Ponante — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 12:21:31 EST

When one reads the words "Pussy Party", there is a one piece of anatomy that should engorge and glisten in the reader's recollection. Well, that concept was turned on its ass this week when Cousin Stevie et al devoted the latest installment of the years-old series to the butt.

There are no better exemplars of why the butt is Important than Flower Tucci and Olivia O'Lovely. I mean: Jesus Christ.

Butts aside, because we are tireless and dedicated, we still managed to peek at the other side. See more butts and other parts after the gap.

Flower Tucci admonishes Olivia with a dildo. See what good that did...

Cousin Stevie and Nicki Hunter.

Stevie: "My wife gave me permission, you know."
Hunter: "I bet."

Alana Evans gets Sunny Lane's attention.

Alana Evans and some clown imitate art, some better than others.

Luscious Lopez, Olivia, and Flower say "Hello Fleshbot Readers."

Whatever is happening in this picture, the delightful Trina Michaels is open for anything.

· Cousin Stevie (cousinstevie.com)

Nicki Hunter Returns!

Gram Ponante — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:20:52 EDT

Last December, during a scene with Alana Evans, Nicki Hunter started experiencing back pain. ("It wasn't my fault," said Evans. ) After the scene wrapped Hunter went to her doctor and, a few days later, was diagnosed with leukemia. Months of chemotherapy followed and twice the five-year porn veteran and mother of two came close to death. Through it all she would appear at various porn events dressed in a series of splendid wigs. Today, in remission, Hunter returned to pornographic motion pictures in a "Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party" scene with Alana Evans, short-haired and confident as she poured Korbel over Evans' ass.

"I don't want to work anywhere else," Hunter said, describing the support she received from friends and the "liberated lifestyle" working in porn allows. Hunter and Cousin Stevie made sure to alert the other participants in the "Pussy Party" that she was there in spirit and body but to "take it easy on me" just the same.

Hunter's scene with longtime pal Evans was her first on video in ten months, though during breaks in chemo Hunter shot some "edgier" things for art photographers as she recovered.

The movie will emphasize the butt and will most likely be called "Pussy Party Tushies". Maybe the title does not adequately telegraph the significance of Hunter's recovery, but we're delighted to see her regardless.

· Nicki Hunter (nickihunter.com)
· Cousin Stevie (cousinstevie.com)