<![CDATA[Fleshbot: straight, adam & eve]]> http://tags.fleshbot.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/fleshbot.com.png <![CDATA[Fleshbot: straight, adam & eve]]> http://fleshbot.com/tag/straight/adameve http://fleshbot.com/tag/straight/adameve <![CDATA["Kayden And Rocco Make A Porno"...And We Get To Watch]]> Surprisingly, "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" is not a porn parody of the similarly titled Kevin Smith movie. Instead, it's a penetrating look at what happens when two frustrated pornstars step behind the camera. Spoiler alert: hilarity ensues.

Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno

Studio: Adam and Eve
Director: David Lord
Cast: Kayden Kross, Heidi Mayne, Kiara Diane, Dani Jensen, Codi Carmichael, Tiffany Mynx, Rocco Reed, Chris Cannon, Jenner, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade

"Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" opens with a scene of (surprise!) Kayden and Rocco making a porno—or at least fucking on camera. But wait: this isn't a porn scene from the porno that Kayden and Rocco make. This is a scene from a different porno starring Kayden and Rocco, one which Kayden and Rocco are sitting at home watching. (Have we lost you yet?)

After watching herself with Rocco, Kayden bemoans the state of porn today: clearly, she could do a better job behind the camera than these bozos. And thus Kayden sets off on the same path as many a performer-turned-director before her. With Rocco at her side, Kayden makes a porno.

Along the way, we meet an interesting cast of characters. Heidi Mayne shows up at the audition so desperate to land a role that she blows Chris Cannon and Jenner in the waiting room (at the same time). Aspiring pornstar Evan Stone (pre-haircut!) loses his chance to get cast in the production, but lies his way into a job as the PA...and then lies his way into Tiffany Mynx, Kiara Diane, and Dani Jensen as well. Rocco engages in on-the-job intimacy with make up artist Codi Carmichael. And, in a last ditch effort to save her film, Kayden takes on both Barrett Blade and Tommy Gunn.

"Kayden and Rocco" is one of those rare pornos that manages to have just the right mix of plot and sex, without seeming gratuitous on either front. The story is entertaining, the acting is good; and at no point do we find ourselves asking why, precisely, these people are having sex with one another. They're having sex because they're making a porno (come on, it says it right on the front of the box!).

You'll have to watch the movie if you want to see how it all turns out—whether Kayden succeeds at her dream, or finds that being a director is harder than it looks—but when you do, you'll have an enjoyable time. Just, uh, don't take the movie as an instructional on how to make your own porno. Trust us on that one.

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<![CDATA[Reapplying Sunscreen Will Not Protect You From “Bree Exposed” ]]> The back cover says "Bree Olson gives her tribute to sex." We should all give tribute to the sun-goddess known as Bree.

Bree Exposed

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Jenny Hendrix, Missy Stone, Charlie Laine, Danny Mountain, Anthony Rosano, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue

Bree Olson only appears in two scenes! I know I'm being greedy, but I was hoping for more. Naturally, the quality of her scenes more than makes up for the quantity, as Bree is a powerful force in her respective segments with Anthony Rosano and Tommy Gunn.

Since Anthony has the first scene, you'd expect him to set the pace for the rest of the actors. While his unchained fucking certainly typifies the wild tone of the film, I wouldn't designate him the golden standard of "Bree Exposed." Mr. Rosano gets very, very sweaty. Like, just-got-caught-in-a-monsoon sweaty. Also, he finishes by jacking off on Bree's feet and I wasn't prepared for it. Maybe that's a good thing?

The following four scenes are also wet and surprising, but in different ways. Mick Blue brings Missy Stone to squirt before embarking on a long anal engagement. Then there's a lesbian intermission with Ava Rose and Charlie Laine involving a rather ornate but uncomfortable-looking chair. Next, Bree seduces Tommy with an oh-so sensuous booty dance. Finally, Jenny Hendrix and Danny Mountain use the only bed in the movie for some very intense reverse cowgirl action.

As hot as all of the performers are, I felt the sound was the sexiest part of the movie. One moment you're listening to Bree describe the prodigious veins of Tommy's cock (prodigious, by the way), and the next, you're eavesdropping on the whispers between Jenny and Danny. It really says something when you can enjoy a porno with your eyes closed.

The only thing that soured my audio love affair was the ambient music. Before every scene you're treated to either an Enya techno remix or Gregorian chant-break beats. A minor concern, but it causes me to wonder what overall feel Andre Madness wanted to impart.

The straight story is this: there are five hot scenes that stand out strong against any environmental oddities that may exist. With every new scene, you can feel yourself getting excited, impatient, and just generally happy to see the performers. It's that Christmas-morning feeling that can't be faked, and it comes from the talent and enthusiasm of the actors.

And that's why I want to see more of Bree Olson: you can stare at her for hours and it won't damage your retinas.

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<![CDATA["Flight Attendants" Crashes Despite Ample Buoyancy]]> Global Air's ridership has taken a nosedive since one of its planes did. And rival Trans Con won't let Global forget it! So Global's flight attendants decide to grow their customer base the only way they know how.

Flight Attendants

Studio: X-Play/Adam & Eve
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Kayden Kross, Evan Stone, Hillary Scott, Teagan Presley, Sunny Lane, Eva Angelina, Misty Stone, Shyla Stylez, Kacey Jordan, Lexi Love, Michelle Maylene, Randy Spears, James Bartholet, Eric John, Jack Lawrence, Eric Swiss, Thomas Ward, Brad Hardy, Kenzi Marie, Chastity Lynn, Farrah Foxx, Dino Bravo, Barry Scott

Review by: Gram Ponante

X-Play's newest film (following last week's "Monday Night Football") continues the company's diversification into porn comedies that aren't based on a particular show. This one draws broadly from "Airplane!" with a healthy dose of Jim Holliday's ensemble pornos of the 90's (Holliday gets namechecked in the movie) as well as Digital Playground's recent successes in occupational porn, "Cheerleaders," "Babysitters," "Nurses," and "Teachers."

A co-production with Adam & Eve like last year's Zero Tolerance/A&E matchup "Rollerdollz," "Flight Attendants" tries so hard to please that it collapses with the effort. Such a large cast means not enough room for everyone to shine, and the story is so needlessly convoluted that you will actually become stupider while watching it.

Q. But Grams, surely you're not saying that you would fault a porn movie for a poorly-executed story. Isn't sex all that matters?
A. While sex is all that matters, at least at this point in our lives, you should probably just buy ten copies of "Flight Attendants," watch each one, and feel your IQ drop by ten points each time. Then you will be this movie's target audience, and will support X-Play's future filmic endeavors.

Multiple uses of flashbacks and dream sequences are neither effective nor funny, the theme song is grating, and the numerous gay and black/urban poor jokes made by and at the expense of performer James Bartholet and openly black performer Misty Stone try too hard to be outrageous and fall flat. It was often amazing how "Flight Attendants" made two subjects that are normally hilarious - race and sexual orientation - unfunny while trying to be "broad."

Speaking of broad, let's talk about the sex.

X-Play has assembled an all-star cast and we slog through way too much plot before any cast members commence to fucking. While there are standout scenes between Shyla Stylez and Randy Spears, the newly-returned Hillary Scott and Barry Scott (no relation), and Kayden Kross and Evan Stone, we don't see nearly enough of Sunny Lane, Eva Angelina, Teagan Presley, or Lexi Love. And, in an industry where people don't need much of an excuse to have sex, "Flight Attendants" manages to strain credulity.

I think X-Play in particular and parodies in general need to take a vacation.

We know the recent difficulty of making money in porn, and part of the current marketing strategy involves having numerous products on the shelves. X-Play is also playing two sides of the field by releasing movies through distributors Adam & Eve as well as Hustler. But it seems that a company that can make such note-perfect parodies like "Not Married with Children" and "Not the Cosby Show" may have extended its reach this time; "Flight Attendants" did not need to be bad.

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<![CDATA[Enter The Crack Pack]]> Forget the Rat Pack—the Crack Pack is your entertainment team for the modern day. And if you ask us, Sammy Davis Jr. has got nothing on Andie Anderson (though we haven't really heard her crack many jokes).

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<![CDATA[Alexis Ford: Adam & Eve's Hot New Star]]> Tis the season for signing new contract stars: earlier this month, Digital Playground welcomed two new additions to their happy hardcore family, and now Adam & Eve has signed the lovely Alexis Ford to their team.

A relative newcomer to the industry, Alexis has only done a handful of girl/girl scenes so far—but we hear she's very excited to shoot her first boy/girl scene for "American Made: Alexis Ford." Which is kind of a coincidence, when you consider how excited we are to see that exact same scene.

[And is it just us, or does Alexis look like she could be Kayden and Bree's little sister? We're not going to tell Adam & Eve how to do their job or anything, but we think this resemblance needs to be capitalized on in some upcoming feature about sisterly love.]

· Photo by Holly Randall (hollyrandall.com)

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<![CDATA[Kayden Kross Beyond Thunderdome]]> Following the world-altering "Big Burn," a number of things are scarce: potable water, animals, and, oh yes, Kayden Kross's clothes. At least we've got that to look forward to.

The 8th Day

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ren Savant
Cast: Kayden Kross, Amber Rayne, Bree Olson, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland, Jandi Lin, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Krissy Leigh, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Tyler Knight, Trinity Post, Darryl Hanah, Ameatabh Bachan, Derrick Pierce

Review by: Gram Ponante

Samantha (the exquisitely nude Kayden Kross) wakes up from future sleep in a future chamber, a recorded message from her late father (director Ren Savant) playing on the future video screen.

"Possibly I died of natural causes," he is saying, Jor El-like, waxing on about the zero-point generator he invented that he is confident will have saved the world by now. "I am very envious of my little girl."

Envious or not, Dad, at least wait until she's got some clothes on.

Thus begins "The 8th Day," Adam & Eve's massive 4-disc (two for the feature, two for extras) epic of sex in a post-apocalyptic world, part "2001," part "The Road Warrior," part "Contact," and, what the hell, still weirded out by a father being creepy with his daughter, even posthumously, part "Blame It on Rio."

Of course, the world Sam wakes up to isn't quite fixed. In fact, it looks a lot like many greater Los Angeles communities south of the 10 freeway; places where bodies are meat, technology has betrayed Man, and where "In a lawless new world, sex is the only salvation."

"My God," Sam says. "What happened?"

Life happened, Sam. We follow her through the ruined, overgrown landscape. We evaluate Sam's choices as if she were making her way through Quake, and we're waiting for her MMPORGasm.

In fact, "The 8th Day" is unlike many contemporary movies in that it takes its time, and this is an unexpected pleasure. Well, perhaps not to fans of porn's pay-per-minute model, but whatever.

By the time Sam meets Mel (Amber Rayne), lots of information has slowly unfolded, much like Krissy Leigh's impressive labia in a desert shanty scene with Tyler Knight.

It turns out, Mel tells Sam in porn's first recorded ten-minute dialogue scene, that long ago all the electricity went out, the animals died, women had trouble reproducing, and mutants with different attributes emerged. Sam, for example, has sex with some slimy Morlocks. Then we watch a three-way between some blue, caterwauling Gila girls. I'd add "Good Times" here, but I'm not a douchebag.

Mel takes Sam to the Elysium Fields, a desert enclave ruled by the charismatic Amir, who preaches against technology and presides over tent orgies. We learn that Amir led the angry mob that killed Sam's father when the latter's science didn't turn out as expected. We learn, also, that Mel can take a double-penetration like a goddamn champ.

My only complaints about the movie are logical ones, which I admit don't hold up against the copious flesh on display, but here goes: It is not altogether clear why Sam's dad put her into deep sleep, unless he just did so to see his adult daughter naked. And Amir doesn't seem all that charming, despite the fawning.

But the risks "The 8th Day" takes are admirable for porn. There are stretches without either music or nudity and where the plot advances by scenery alone. The special effects are parceled out with maturity, there are references to Shakespeare and the Beatles, and the movie trusts you to allow it to end without a cumshot.

There is also more creepy stuff with Dad, crucifixion, peeing on asbestos, a "West Wing" cameo, Bree Olson's Blue period, the unsinkable Darryl Hanah, the always-dependable Trinity Post, a delightful performance by Amber Rayne, and the jaw-dropping Kayden Kross, who meets a bad end (but so does everybody).

"The 8th Day" is a great movie; how bad can the end of the world be if it's got Kayden Kross in it?





















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<![CDATA[Kayden Kross Fucks Like It's The End of the World In Adam & Eve's Highly Anticipated "8th Day"]]> And that is no exaggeration. Watching the incredible blonde writhe around naked on a throbbing tool all but made us forget what we were watching in the first place, and wonder why everyone was so dirty?

Porn doesn't have anything like Hollywood's traditional pitch meetings, but we still like to imagine Director Ren Savant promising Adam & Eve's head honchos that he was going to make the best porn movie of the decade by mixing "Mad Max Thunderdome" with "Behind the Green Door' all while using action figures, a Kayden Barbie, several Tonka trucks, and a cat box to illustrate his point.

Any reservations the A&E brass had about making a big budget, non-spoof sci-fi porno were certainly placated by the knowledge that indefatigable blonde beauty Kayden "too pretty for porn" Kross would be cast in the lead.

The story opens with Kross being awakened from a cryogenic slumber to find herself in a strange city overrun by tribal gangs and overactive sexual half breeds, not entirely unlike Barstow or the backside of a meth lab way back in the hills of San Bernadino.

Kayden gets rescued by a scrappy scavenger girl, Amber Rayne and learns her only hope for salvation lies in the hands of the charismatic ruler of a desolate dessert village, known as Elysium Fields. But when Prince Amir takes Samantha under his wing, he discovers who she really is and decides that she must make the ultimate sacrifice.

Kayden Cross, Bree Olson, Tyler Knight, Tommy Gunn, Aaron Wilcoxxx, Kylie Ireland
Derrick Pierce, Jandi Lin, Krissy Leigh, Poppy Morgan, Tori Black, Violet Marcell, Darryl Hanah, Evan Stone, Amber Rayne, Cheyne Collins, Sledge Hammer, Trinity Post, Chris Cannon, and Jerry keep spending all their lives fucking in a post apocalyptic burnt out ghetto paradise.

Will this be the greatest movie of the year? Can it topple the strangle hold "Operation Tropical Stormy" will no doubt have on industry come awards time? No one knows for sure. We can say, however, that it is an impressive effort replete with sexy girls, hot sex, orgies, and bucket loads of pure imagination, which (as we all know) Einstein even said was more important than having Stormy.

"The 8th Day" releases on 9/08/09 but you can get it now at Adam and Eve's website. For more info on the title, check out "The 8th Day"'s website. And in the meantime, check out our mega exclusive sneak preview gallery.

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<![CDATA["Bree's College Daze 2": Call Me Deacon Goo]]> They call Alabama the Crimson Tide - but what wonderful institution of higher learning has Bree Olson Ass Plaid as its school colors, and can it keep me from matriculating on myself?

The sorority girls are in need of cash and they call in Bree Olson to help save their house. Her solution? She turns them into whores.

You may say, "Grams—nice cribbing the logline from the boxcover." But I actually watched the movie.

You would think that some of the ladies might be reticent about selling their bodies to save the sorority, but you would be wrong. Have you ever been to Vassar?

No, it takes no convincing at all—just a "Grease"-style montage sequence, to turn these co-eds (the delicious Tori Black, Madison Ivy, and Lexi Belle included) from women who fuck out of boredom and for the remains of the Aftershock to women who fuck for money.

Thanks Bree!

The only beef I have with this film—even its tunebank Hadaway-style score is good—is that Ms. Olson never wears in the movie the outfit she wears on the cover. It was the only reason I opened the box.

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<![CDATA[Lexi Belle Goes Back To School]]> Though on the whole, we're glad our college days are past (we hated homework), there are some things that make us long for the hallowed halls of alma mater. Lexi Belle in "Bree's College Daze 2" is one of them.

Sure, we didn't actually spend much time with girls like Lexi Belle (well, outside of our imaginations, at least), but that's just because we didn't know then what we know now. If we could do it all over again, we're sure our educational adventure would have looked a lot more like one of Adam and Eve's college creations. (Or at least "Van Wilder: Freshman Year." We'd settle for that, too.)

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<![CDATA["The Five" Has At Least Eight More Boobs Than "The 300"]]> Other than Sasha Grey, no one in "The Five" looks even remotely Mediterranean or homoerotic. The voluptuous Bree Olson doesn't resemble a chiseled Spartan warrior princess at all. And Alexis Texas? Doesn't encourage me to hang around with oiled men.

The Five

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Andre Madness
Cast: Bree Olson, Alexis Texas, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, Johnny Sins, Mr. Pete, James Deen, Scott Nails, Danny Mountain

Review by: Gram Ponante

It is then that you realize that "The Five" is not supposed to be a porn version of "The 300."

"The Five" is ALSO not about some elite crimefighting team, unless the crime is not having an opportunity to watch Bree Olson and four other women fuck other guys.

Instead (and depending on the household) "The Five" features five of porn's household names in overlapping scenes shot in a pleasant and sunlit modern country home. Nothing special, unless you like those people a lot. Which I do.

For example, Bree opens the movie (and her stems) with a couch-based tease sequence. I hope this is not taken the wrong way, but Olson is a little heavier than the last time I saw her, and the extra weight looks great on her. People can be sensitive about weight, I've heard. When she is done tossing her lingerie at the camera, she and the camera crawl over to Johnny Sins, who happens to have been sitting on the couch all along, just like the Footprints in the famous inspirational poster.

He fucks her. What would you do if Bree Olson crawled over to your side of the couch naked? At least I hope you would fuck her. I'd block you from this URL if you didn't do your best to take advantage of all opportunities.

"Oh my goodness!" Olson yells, adorably.

Then Mr. Pete fucks Sasha Grey in the kitchen.

A few words about Sasha Grey and Mr. Pete: I am prepared to say that their onscreen personae (ice princess, hillbilly) do not accurately represent them. For example, Sasha Grey is delightful to talk with and she laughs a lot, and Mr. Pete is the nicest guy you'd want to meet. When they fuck in the kitchen you can imagine they had lunch afterward (after they'd squeegeed the surfaces).

Later, James Deen encounters Jenna Haze at the bottom of some concrete-and-stainless-steel stairwell at which someone has thoughtfully placed a couch to fuck her on.

I often wonder: What's the big deal about Jenna Haze? But in "The Five" it became clear. She makes excellent eye contact, and that can't be faked.

While the rest of the movie doesn't fizzle (a threesome with Shyla Stylez, Olson, and Digital Playground mainstay Scott Nails, a scene between Alexis Texas and Danny Mountain), I began to wonder about the viability of a title like "The Five." As there was no throughline - other than the house - the "five" only refers to the number of women in it, which is about as useful as renaming a "Reverse Bukkake" "The 17 Who Showed Up."

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<![CDATA[Kayden Kross Looks Breathtaking In "Swing Time"]]> A title like "Swing Time" originally made us believe this Kayden Kross movie was either a Tiger Woods spoof or a period piece about dirty dancing. Instead, the Adam & Eve feature centers around key parties, which, coincidentally, are our favorite kind of parties.

Kayden Kross is joined by Kagney Linn Karter, Holly West, Angelina Valentine, Sativa Rose, and beautiful red daydream Dani Jensen (who's delightful, almost like a sexy young Lindsey Lohan—but without the psychotic lesbian DJ girlfriend or the cocaine halo. Did we mention that she has beautiful red hair? Yeah. She does. And, even better, she looks like she really enjoys the proper fucking that Derrick Pierce expertly gives her. There's a reason his friends call him the manwhore with a heart, because he really cares.)

Together, this diverse cast explores the illicit world of swinging, in a David Lord vehicle that's sure to capture hearts and genitals from coast to coast when it drops.

The plot centers around the urban myth that horny sailors in San Diego used to get together with their buddies' wives, each depositing their keys into a fishbowl, with the women fishing out a set and leaving with the owner. Sounds like good, clean, family fun if you ask us!

Kayden looks breathtaking with a cock in her mouth or buried balls deep up her hot pink bubble gum snatch. It's no surprise she's often referred to as too pretty for porn. Stunning barely seems to cover some of these shots.

"Swing Time" releases next Tuesday—but we spent an extraordinary amount of time collecting and cleaning this gallery for you, so take a gander. Dani is the red head, FYI.

Kayden Kross

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Angelina Valentine & Sativa Rose

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Angelina Valentine & Sativa Rose

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Sativa Rose

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Angelina Valentine

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Angelina Valentine & Sativa Rose

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kagney Linn Karter

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Dani Jensen

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Dani Jensen

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Dani Jensen

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Dani Jensen

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Dani Jensen

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Dani Jensen & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross & Derrick Pierce

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
Kayden Kross

Adam & Eve (adameve.com)

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<![CDATA[Bree Olson And Sasha Grey Lead An Impressive Pack Of "Five" All-Stars]]> Forget what "Schoolhouse Rock" might have taught you: in the age of supersizing and upsizing and embiggening, three is no longer the magic number. Five is where it's at.

Earlier this year, we saw Andrew Blake's "5 Stars", now Adam & Eve have taken up the pentaphilic torch with "The Five," a celebration of five of the porn world's most impressive stars.

The feature is headlined by Bree Olson, who brings her adorable (and dirty) charms to both her scenes (the opener, in which she opens up all her orifices to Johnny Sins, and the fourth scene, in which Bree joins Shyla Stylez and Scott Nails for a delicious threesome). But Bree is hardly the only star in this show: Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, and Alexis Texas round out the release, with ample dirty talk and hard fucking.

There is no plot—or even a half-hearted attempt at a plot—to "The Five": instead, each performer is introduced with a little striptease, and then immediately cuts to the fuck, er, chase. But it's for the best, really. With a cast of this caliber, there's no need to waste time dressing up the action or providing a backstory: these performers are strong enough to carry the film on their sexual skills alone.

In keeping with its numeric theme, "The Five" releases today—5/5/09. For the sake of numeric consistency, we almost wish it had come out four years ago—but, alas, if it had, we wouldn't have been able to compile this stellar cast.

· "The Five" (adameve.com)
· Buy "The Five" (gamelink.com)

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<![CDATA[Ava Rose Has Got Some Good Medicine]]> Over the years, we've looked into a whole slew of alternative medicines—accupuncture, accupressure, naturopathy, homeopathy, hypnotherapy—but we've never seen anything quite like Ava Rose's ministrations on this bedridden gentleman.

We're not sure quite what you'd call it, but it certainly seems to be doing something. Anyone know where Ava received her medical training? Cause we might have to start getting treated by one of her classmates—it looks like they have the exact cure for, uh, whatever it is that's ailing us these days.

· Buy "Hello Nurse" (gamelink.com)

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<![CDATA[Pitching A Tent For Bree Olson]]> Bree Olson in cutoff shorts and a tank top. I believe in America.

Bree's Big Campout

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Jim Malibu
Cast: Bree Olson, Faye Reagan, Jenny Hendrix, Alexis Breeze, Annette Allen, Dirty Harry

Review by: Gram Ponante

Bree Olson is going to Arizona. You'd think she'd be crushed by this, but she's not. I experience suicidal ideation whenever I have to go to Arizona. But it's not about me—it's about Bree. Instead, she decides to throw a big campout with her sexy friends!

You see, our Bree just graduated from high school and she's headed to a "really awesome" school in Arizona for pre-med.

I will not bore you with the details of how Olson, Faye Reagan, Jenny Hendrix, Alexis Breeze, and Annette Allen become naked in tents, on blankets, and in pools. Just know that they do, and that's all that matters.

"Bree's Big Campout" is the type of porn movie that can be remade every two years with different people; it is a perfect example of a wholesome adult movie you'd want to include with anyone's 18th birthday card.

Everyone looks good in this movie, particularly Olson, Jenny Hendrix, and Alexis Breeze (though we do fear they're going to burst into flame and/or get sand in their parts) and the chapters are set apart by clever vlog entries by the characters. There is even a cameo by Dirty Harry as a creepy park ranger. Unlike his appearances in JM movies, Harry does not spend his time in "Bree's Big Campout" weeping or screaming.

As cross-country rival Digital Playground is cleaning up on occupation-based fetishes like nurses, babysitters, and cheerleaders, I think Adam & Eve should capitalize on events. I'd love to see Kayden Kross doing a timeshare pitch porn or barbecue flick, and maybe Bree can follow "Campout" with "Bree's Big Bachelorette Party."

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Buy "Bree's Big Campout" (gamelink.com)

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<![CDATA["Nina Hartley's Guide To Simultaneous Orgasms" (It's Not A Myth)]]> When we first got our hands on "Nina Hartley's Guide to Simultaneous Orgasms," we were like: "Oh great. Nina Hartley's Guide to Finding Unicorns?" But truth be told, we were blown away by this DVD.


First of all, Nina Hartley is fucking adorable. She's smart, charming and genuinely cares whether you (that's right, you who are reading this right now) have amazing sex. While you're watching the first scene in which married couple Devon and Marcus have a threesome with Nina — talking, explaining and laughing all the while — you wish that you could have her around every time you wanted to fuck your lover, to give you words of encouragement, a vibrator and a bit of oral stimulation. And wouldn't you know it, after a number of very real orgasms on Devon's part, all three achieved the heretofore fabled simultaneous "O".

Nina's co-host, Kayden Kross, is unbelievably sexy and well-spoken — cooing that she has no problem with simultaneous orgasms because she's pretty much having orgasms all the time. (Lucky bitch beautiful multi-orgasmic woman.) The scene with her and Erik Everhard is panty-soaking. (Maybe you don't wear panties, but you get the picture.) The chemistry between the two is perfect, and Kayden is pretty much cumming the entire time. If these two looked any more enthusiastic and turned-on — well, I don't think they possibly could, so there you go. And they too come at the same time, and it's fucking hot. Sweet jesus christ.

In conclusion, if you are looking to learn intelligently explained techniques to employ with your lover to enhance your sex life, you need this DVD. If you are looking to jack off to a hot porn with stars who are genuinely enjoying themselves, you need this DVD. And if you are one of the Doubting Thomases who need to see the simultaneous "O" to believe it, you definitely need this DVD. It's even better than a unicorn, we swear.

· Buy "Nina Hartley's Guide To Simultaneous Orgasms" (adameve.com)

· Images courtesy of "Stills from 'Nina Hartley's Guide To Simultaneous Orgasms'" (avn.com)

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<![CDATA[Girls' Night In]]> We've heard about the fairly innocuous "Girls' Night Out" wherein your girlfriend leaves you at home to watch sports (or porn) and goes out for a couple of drinks and some dancing with her friends.

But what about a Girls' Night In? Nikki Sun and Claudia Abrams can give you some idea.

And what to do the next time you get left home with football replays while your girlfriend meets up with her girlfriends? Fleshbot suggests you give her a wink and lend her your camera — and cross your fingers that you might just get invited along next time.

· Buy "Girlfriends With Benefits" (gamelink.com)
· Adam & Eve

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<![CDATA[Bree Olson Finally Surrenders]]> As a big boobed blonde, Bree Olson generally gets typecast in a very specific role—and it's not one that involves much bondage and kink.

Which, we might add, is extremely unfortunate, since bondage and kink and submission are things that Bree happens to do very, very well. Let us all be grateful, then, that she was cast as the lead in "The Surrender of O": finally, a chance to see Bree bound and spanked... in addition to seeing her royally fucked.

· Buy "The Surrender of O" (gamelink.com)

*****

Previously: Instant Classics: "O2: The Surrender of O"

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<![CDATA[On Flight 69, The Customer Comes First]]> In these uncertain times, airlines are doing whatever they can to reel in the business—though some might say that they haven't pushed things far enough. Perhaps they should look to "Flight 69" for inspiration?

Okay, it's true that Flight 69 is a porno, and not an actual airline, but we still think they have some good ideas. For instance: hiring girls like Courtney Simpson as flight attendants. We don't know about you, but getting the chance to spend some time in the air with the lovely Ms. Simpson would certainly encourage us to fly... especially if there was any chance that she'd be acting like this during the flight.

· Buy "Flight 69" (gamelink.com)

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<![CDATA[Adam & Eve Want To Take You On An Erotic Photo Hunt]]> Do you love Erotic Photo Hunt, but hate having to leave your house to play it? Well, you're in luck: Adam & Eve has just launched an online version of the popular bar game.

Like the bar game, Adam & Eve's photo hunt gives you two seemingly identical (and incredibly hot) photos; your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to spot the five differences (should you choose to simply ogle the hot photos, well, that's okay too). Intrigued? Try your luck with these stills from "Roller Dollz." Can you spot the differences?

· Adam & Eve's Erotic Photo Hunt (adameve.com)

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<![CDATA[Adam & Eve Seeks Real Hot Couples For Real Hot Porn]]> Fleshbot Crush Object Jamye Waxman, sex educator extraordinaire and host of the "Personal Touch" eduporn, just informed us that Adam & Eve is looking to cast real life couples for a new line of DVDs:

Adam & Eve, the largest adult product company in the US, has created a new division specifically for couples, called Sensual Couples. The new division will sell romance baskets, toys, lingerie and soft X DVDs.

Sensual Couples’ DVDs will feature attractive real-life couples between the ages of 25 and 40. We are currently looking for four couples to appear in our first title, “Sexual Positions for Lovers”, to be shot in early 2009.

Couples will receive $5,000 US dollars, round trip airfare from any major city in the continental US to the location of filming, hotel accommodation and a $200 Adam & Eve spending spree.

Sensual Couples is asking for 15-minute audition DVDs/tapes with the first 5 minutes of each submission focused on getting to know the couple and 10 minutes of sensual sex (no pop shots please). Auditions will be evaluated on personality, attractiveness and sensuality.

All submitted material becomes the property of Sensual Couples and may be used on the DVD’s and on the sensualcouples.com website.

For information e-mail auditions at sensualcouples dot com.

All audition DVDs or tapes (like mini-DV’s) should be sent to:
Sensual Couples Auditions
302 Meadowland Drive
Hillsborough NC 27517

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Thumbnail: Real life couple Joanna Angel and James Deen fucking in the bathroom

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