What was the cruelest April Fool's prank of all? Trying to make people believe that there's a secret sex tape starring delightful singing rumpshaker Shakira in a threeway. Some things are just too important to make jokes about, people. (radaronline.com)

The Ansari X Prize is a $10 million award that will be given to the first private company to put an human in space—and YouPorn is doing them one better with a $10 million XXX Prize to the first amateurs to shoot a porn movie in space. OK, so maybe it was a silly April Fool's gag, but you know ... it just might be crazy enough to work. Let the sex space race begin! (YouPorn)

Flesh Flicks: I Quit

It's been over two years since I joined the crew here at Fleshbot and started doing these daily Flesh Flicks posts, and in all that time there's been something I've wanted to say but never had the courage to until now: I hate porn. It is vile and disgusting and it debases everyone, from the actors who star in it to the cameramen (and it's always men) who film it to the poor lonely souls who touch themselves while paying to watch it. You can only imagine what it's been like for me to wallow in this swamp this entire time. Sure, I've made a living and the working conditions weren't horrible, but at what cost? It has drained all joy from my sex life, and I may never again be able to maintain a healthy relationship with another person. (My current girlfriend, though, is very patient and understanding and even occasionally watches this filth with me as a show of solidarity. She's a real trouper.) More »

"Dirtpipe Reunions": Same Time Next Ass

A tender tribute to the classic porn films of yesteryear, the logline of this Red Light District movie is "The Anus And Love Never Lose Their Elasticity." Three gently-aged swinger couples return to the same fading hotel each year to give anal creampies to their friends' wives; sample dialogue includes lines like "I love sharing my special lady with you this way" and "Your long-legged filly's got fine haunches, Alan." More »

When Max Met Abby

An anonymous source just tipped us off with more details about that controversial new Abby Winters website redesign we posted about yesterday: apparently the company is revamping its image in advance of an upcoming collaboration with Max Hardcore later this year. "We see this as an opportunity to extend our brand presence in North America and among audiences, such as Mr. Hardcore's, who might not be familiar with our unique brand of happy, honest, guiltfree erotica," an Abby Winters representative did not say, to which Hardcore added "Yeah, show Daddy your dirty little fuck hole." Tentatively titled "Fiona's Intimate Gaping Adventure", the first DVD in the Abby Winters XXXTreme series will ship later this year. (Yeah, we thought the title could use a little work too.)

Turn, Turn, Turn: Richard Dreyfuss In "Mr. Holland's Anus"

After the unexpected success of his self-produced porn sequel to "Jaws" (2005's "Balls Deep"), pornhound Richard Dreyfuss has again plumbed his mainstream film career for porn fodder. "'Mr. Holland's Anus'" will explore five decades in and out of the anal cavity of a very inspiring teacher," said Dreyfuss, "and you will see Olympia Dukakis like you've never seen her before." At one point Holland is faced with teaching clarinet to a slow learner: More »

Old Pornstars Never Die, They Just Get Turned Into Heather Vandeven's Doggy Style Pet Pussy and Ass

Bowing to consumer pressure for more responsible sex toy manufacturing practices, Topco Sales announced today that it would start recycling its overstock of old, worn out porn star genitalia reproductions to create its new line of "Second Coming" porn star genitalia reproductions. "Our Jenna Jameson vibrating pussy and ass hasn't been selling so well since she got all that plastic surgery" said a company representative, "so when we figured out we could melt them all down and create a new limited edition Heather Vandeven model instead it just seemed like the right thing to do. Heather is so hot right now!" Topco says the new line will be available soon, and that they'll offer a no-questions-asked full refund policy to any consumers who purchase one only to discover that it still feels like they're fucking Jenna after all. (topcosales.us)