For one, this marks the first time a "Not the"-style parody has pornified a show that wasn't a sitcom—for another, never before have modern porn parodists attempted to venture into sci-fi. But does it work? Does "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" go boldly into this new territory—or does it meekly fall flat, unable to complete the journey?

We'd have to say that—for the most part—the venture is a success. It certainly helps that "Star Trek" was a rather campy endeavor, full of cheesy special effects and plot twists that didn't always add up (just like porn!). In terms of plot, set, and feel, "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" certainly keeps the pace with its inspiration (we guess all those hours Axel Braun spent studying old "Star Trek" footage paid off!). "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" certainly satisfied our desire for a porntastic retro future where multicultural crews explore the depths of space (and all the women wear crotchless pantyhose sans underwear).

Not surprisingly, Evan Stone's Kirk is the highlight of the film (we're pretty sure that Evan Stone will steal the show in any porn comedy); but his co-stars do turn in admirable performances (especially during their sex scenes, which take up about 5/6 of the two hour feature). We were particularly taken with the sexed up Jenna Haze and blood fever stricken Sasha Grey (but, of course, you knew we were going to say that).

For the curious, the plot (which can be watched, sans sex, on the bonus disc) amounts to this: while tooling around space, the Enterprise happens across a stranded ship, the Botany Bay. Upon boarding, they discover three bodies in suspended animation (and one skeleton). One of these bodies turns out to be Khan—who, upon being revived, seduces ship historian Marla MacGuyver (Aurora Snow), and then plots to take over the Enterprise by poisoning everyone with PSI 2000.

And what's the antidote to PSI 2000, you ask? Why, a sudden release of endorphins—like, say, an orgasm. Cue shipwide orgy!

Hot as the sex was, though, we occasionally found ourselves wishing (to echo one of our commenters) that there was less of it. Not that we minded seeing Jenna, Aurora, Sasha, Codi, and Jada heaving and sighing in various states of undress—but with so much time devoted to the fucking, "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" is more a standard porn with "Star Trek"-themed interludes, and less, well, a "Star Trek"-movie with sex in it.

Perhaps future porn parodies could take a page out of the "Pirates" handbook, and treat the sex scenes the way mainstream movies treat fight scenes: edit the shit out of them so that they fit into the flow of the movie, while still giving us our hedonistic burst of naughty pleasure (and then, of course, include the full sex scenes on the bonus disc, for the times when we don't care about plot).

But even so, this still winds up on our recommended list. Any movie that manages to keep Nick Manning from shouting, "Dropping loads!" gets automatic points (and hey, if it happens to replace that catchphrase with "Cum Khan, eat it, eat it"... well, so much the better).

· Buy "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" (gamelink.com)

*****

Previously: First Look: "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" Goes (And Comes) Boldly

Not only is it super hot (obviously), it's also got a beat you can dance to! (Or maybe that's just us.)

And because we can never, ever get enough Sasha Grey, we also have this behind the scenes clip of America's Favorite Fuck Junkie on set and in Vulcan makeup.

Don't say we never did nothing for you.

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

Well, we may not get the chance to see that impossibly beautiful "Star Trek" cast getting it on, but at least Hustler has assembled another, equally sexy Enterprise crew to strip down and get sexed up. Yes, kids: "This Ain't Star Trek XXX" comes out tomorrow—and we've got a sneak peek at the action, right here, right now.

It may not be the first "Star Trek" porn out there, but we're pretty sure it's easily the best. With Jada Fire as Uhura taking on Kirk and Spock at the same time, crew member Aurora Snow taming the wrathful Khan with her talented ladyparts, Codi Carmichael jumping Bones's bones, Jenna Haze giving Spock the what for, and—last but certainly not least—Vulcan Sasha Grey getting logical with Captain Kirk...well, really, could it possibly get any better than this? We're not even sure what the plot is, but with a cast like this, we're not sure we care.

"This Ain't Star Trek XXX" streets tomorrow, May 12. Go boldly where no one else has gone, right here in this exclusive gallery.

· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

The bad news? We still have to wait a whole two weeks to see the finished product. What gives? We want to see it now! We need to know why, exactly, everyone's eyes are going weird, and what evil plot Khan unleashes... oh, and also we want to see Vulcan Sasha Grey gettin' logical (if you know what we mean).

· This Ain't Star Trek XXX - First Look (hustlerworld.com)

Apparently, we weren't the only ones shocked by the sacrifice—Evan himself had to go through a lot of soul searching before he finally went through with it. Hustler, of course, recorded the momentous occasion for posterity: see the end of a hair-a in the video to the left.

· Straight from the set of Hustler Video's: This Ain't Star Trek XXX, Evan Stone cuts his HAIR!!!! (youtube.com)

Thankfully, there seem to be enough differences between the two releases to help the discerning porn consumer decide between the two. "Star Trix" (which was originally released as scenes on Muffia's Naked Movie website) is a throwback to an earlier style of porn parody: the action takes place on the U.S.S. Intercourse, helmed by Captain Dirk and his crew (which includes members with names like Boner McJoy and—sigh—Uhora). We're also told that "this is truly one spoof where the sex doesn't get left behind," which we're assuming means that it's very light on plot.

"This Ain't Star Trek XXX," on the other hand, promises to be a faithful porn translation of the original series, with expensive sets, cheesy special effects, a newly shorn Evan Stone as Captain Kirk, and, yes, Sasha Grey as a Vulcan.

We know which release we're gunning for—but really, between Jayden James, Taylor Star, and Ryder Skye in "Star Trix," and Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Jada Fire, Codi Carmichael, and Aurora Snow in "This Ain't Star Trek"... well, you can't really go wrong with either one.

· Antigua, Muffia.com Turn "Star Trix" (avn.com)
· Star Trix: Pt One (muffia.com)

· I'm a Vulcan! (twitter.com)
· Photos: Ear and full costume (twitpic.com)

Well, a week later, the sets have been constructed, the costumes designed—and, most importantly, the cast has been set. But how does Hustler's band of adventurous starfarers compare to the original crew of the NCC-1701? We've put together a side by side comparison, so you can judge for yourselves.

Kirk

Star Trek XXX: Evan Stone
Star Trek: William Shatner

Spock

Star Trek XXX: Tony DeSergio
Star Trek: Leonard Nimoy

Sulu

Star Trek XXX: Ero Sennin
Star Trek: George Takei

Bones

Star Trek XXX: Cheyne Collins
Star Trek: DeForest Kelley

Scotty

Star Trek XXX: Anthony Rosano
Star Trek: James Doohan

Khan

Star Trek XXX: Nick Manning
Star Trek: Ricardo Montalban

Uhura

Star Trek XXX: Jada Fire
Star Trek: Nichelle Nichols

Nurse Christine Chapel (maybe)

Star Trek XXX: Codi Carmichael
Star Trek: Majel Barrett

And, of course, what porn parody would be complete without some completely invented female characters?

Ruth: Jenna Haze

Chandra: Sasha Grey

Marla: Aurora Snow

· This Ain't Star Trek XXX set report (hustlerworld.com)

Unfortunately for us, the movie has yet to be cast (let alone shot!), so we can't really tell you anything more (except the release date—May 12, 2009, baby!). But we'll bet dollars to donuts that Jada Fire will be playing Uhura, and that Sulu—if he's actually played by an Asian man—will be a non-sex role. Unless (fingers crossed!) Hustler imports Keni Styles from across the pond. Now that would be awesome.

With any luck, they'll spin this off into a "This Ain't Star Trek: The Next Generation XXX" film... don't you think Roxy DeVille would make a stunning Deanna Troi?

· This Ain't Star Trek XXX (hustlerworld.com)

Thankfully, we have no such qualms about the hardcore (and, more specifically, about jizz). And so it is that we present the following clip from "The Man Eater," which reveals a shocking truth: Vulcans have green semen. Or at least, Vulcans have jizz that leaves the penis white, but magically turns green when it contacts saliva. The universe really is an amazing place.

· To Boldly Go There: A History Of Star Trek Porn, With Clips (io9.com)

· XXX Trek (kbeech.com, via candycrash.com)

. . .

· Star Trek Orgasms (YouTube, via flabber.nl)

Previously: "Klingon Sex Manual", Orion Slave Girls, Sexy Trekkies, Naked Klingon Women

Like the classic "Betty or Veronica" and "Ginger or Mary Ann" debates, how you answer the question "Kirk or Spock?" says a lot about you as a person. (Either way you're a geek, but bear with us.) Even in retirement their alter-egos carry on the battle of "passion vs. logic," only now they do it in the final frontier of nude photography. While William Shatner chooses to get up close (and maybe a little too personal) with Playboy models, Leonard Nimoy has created a nice second career for himself shooting artistic portraits of women you generally won't find in one of his movies.

We've mentioned his "Full Body Project" before, but (two years later) The New York Times has gotten on board with a thoughtful look at this ongoing work, which is currently featured in galleries across the country and will culminate in a book to be released later this year. Naturally, the discussion focuses on his fascination with large women and the paper discovers that for the most part, people don't seem to mind that much. His message of body acceptance hasn't exactly reached the pages of Vogue, but maybe the fact that people might actually want to see pictures of full-sized naked women isn't so shocking these days, even if some of the kids can't seem to wrap their heads around the idea. Enduring all the fat jokes with a Vulcan-like patience is no problem for Nimoy, who clearly sees his work as more than just a hobby (or a one-time lark, like the old captain.) He's out to change minds, one planet at a time.

· "Girth and Nudity, a Pictorial Mission" (nytimes.com)
· Leonard Nimoy Photography (leonardnimoyphotography.com)

Previously: Nudes by Leonard Nimoy, Leonard Nimoy: Full Body Project, William Shatner Does Playboy

We're not sure why we never got around to posting about William Shatner's Playboy shoot back in November (don't worry, he's not on the receiving end of the camera lens), but we'd be seriously compromising the geek cred we've tried so hard to build up over the years if we didn't have at least something about it in the Fleshbot archives for posterity's sake. While his suitably otherworldly photos of Miss May 1998 Deanna Brooks are certainly worth checking out on their own whether or not you happen to be a "Star Trek" and/or Priceline commercial fan, we recommend you peruse them while the loop on ytmn.com of Shatner doing one of his trademark dramatic recitations of Pulp's "Common People" plays in the background to get the full effect of this remarkable pop culture moment. Shatnarian intonations + hot Playmate boobies = pure comedy gold!.

· Celebrity Guest Photographer: William Shatner + Deanna Brooks (playboy.com)
· William Shatner + Deanna Brooks (shatnerplayboy.ytmnsfw.com; age verification required)
· William Shatner Photographs Deanna Brooks (gallery @ pixelbomb.com)

Some readers (you know who you are) may recognize Erica Glasier's sexy illustrations from their appearances in Playgirl; the rest of us can get to know them via this small gallery in which the artist also reminds us of the fact that several of them are also available as posters to purchase. It's too bad we didn't know about this before the holidays, since we know a few people on our gift list who really would have appreciated her portrait of Sweet Action Spock, complete with futuristic electrified lyre and a very passionate, non-Vulcanesque looking boner. Hello desktop, here we come!

· Erica Glasier (ericaglasier.com)

Previously: Nudes by Leonard Nimoy, Sexy Ink Girls by Alayna Magnan, Grafuck 2.0, Sexy Art by Motohiko Tokuta