Lingerie maker Myla has the answer: their Christmas shopping website offers you a choice of three very eager (and very scantily clad) personal shoppers, each of whom guides you through the selection process with a handful of questions...and then happily models your final selection, to give you an idea of what it'll look like in person.

If only we could get service like this in the store...we'd never shop anywhere else.

· A Present from Myla (apresentfrommyla.com)

· Maison Close (maison-close.com)

. . .

· "Pads" (YouTube, via notcot.org)
· Rubber55 (rubber55.co.uk)

It's also digitally connected, can call up and eject your favorite discs at the push of a button, and can even password protect the discs you don't want prying eyes to see. (What it doesn't do, sadly, it play any of these DVDs on your TV. Nobody's perfect.) If you find that you need this level of space-saving security, then this gadget could be the answer. Also: bless your dirty little heart

· Disc Manager 100 (discmakers.com)
· See also: DVD Disc Manager 100 Keeps Your Adult DVDs Safe (Gizmodo)

There's a lot to love about the Odyssey Tickler. It's cute, quiet, and relatively cheap, and, for a vibe that runs on two AAA batteries, it has a pretty powerful motor. There's also the matter of the Tickler's... ticklers. As a fan of the Nubby G's nubs, I was really excited for some tickling action - and, happily, the Odyssey Tickler delivered as promised. Depending on your anatomy, you may have to wiggle the vibe around a bit to unlock the magic of the tickling. But hey, with a toy like this, the journey is half the fun.

But despite its charms, there was one problem I just couldn't ignore. Unlike its more complicated cousins, the Odyssey Tickler has just one button. If the vibe is off, pressing the button turns it on. If the vibe is on, pressing the button increases the vibration speed - unless you're at the third (and highest) vibration speed, in which case pressing the button shuts the vibe off. Which, in the heat of the moment, can really suck. Imagine grooving along to some really great fantasy, only to accidentally or absentmindedly press that button and shut everything down.

Yeah, it's kind of a buzzkill. Much as I enjoyed the Tickler, I think I'll be sticking with the Nubby G from here on out.

· Buy the Babeland Odyssey Tickler (babeland.com)

· "25 sexy times at home" (cribcandy.com - thanks Sturtle)

Manufactured by Nob Essence (the same company that brought us the Fling), the Flip is a beautifully handcrafted curved wooden toy, carved into a set of graduated beads.

So how does the Flip shape up? Quite nicely, actually. The beads start small and work their way up, allowing the user to control the intensity of the stimulation. New to butt play? Stick to the shallow waters. Anal expert? Take the plunge, and bury the Flip to the hilt!

In addition to its pleasurably beaded body, the Flip features a curved form for prostate stimulation. Sadly, as a prostate-free female, I can't offer too much comment on this feature. Though I'm sure it would feel quite wonderful if I had a prostate to stimulate, I actually found that I preferred rotating the toy so that the hook of the curve faced towards my back. Maybe it's a girl thing.

Lovely though the Flip is, it's not the best toy for those who like to leave a butt toy in for an all day (or at least several hour) treat. For one thing, the beaded shape makes the toy hard to grip and keep in. For another, the large rounded handle, though quite convenient when maneuvering the toy, leads to a limited range of motion. To put it bluntly: it's kinda hard to sit down when there's a large wooden ring sticking out of your ass.

Like the Fling, the Flip is coated in Lubrosity, a fancy coating that makes it chemical/bacteria-resistant, waterproof, and hypoallergenic—and it's phthalate-free. Didn't quite catch that? The important thing to remember is that it's easy to clean, won't get ruined by water (or your butt), and is compatible with all lubes.

A note for the adventurous girls out there: It is possible, if a bit tricky, to use the Flip and its sister dildo, the Fling, for some double penetration action. You know, if you're into that sort of thing. Don't say I never taught you nothing.

· Buy the The Flip (babeland.com)
· Nob Essence (nobessence.com)

But then I learned about phthalates, and suddenly the Nubby G's jelly rubber skin seemed far less inviting. Sure, I could always be safe and put a condom on it - but somehow, it just wasn't the same. I abandoned the Nubby G and went in search of other toys, hoping that I'd find one that could compare - and wouldn't raise my risk of a nasty disease.

A few weeks ago, my prayers were answered: Babeland announced their new line of toys, and I was pleased to see a new, thermoplastic rubber Nubby G listed among their offerings. But my excitement quickly turned to doubt: could this really be as good as the classic Nubby G? Would it live up to my memories? Would it make me come as hard and as frequently and as well?

In a word, yes. The Babeland Nubby G lives up to its promises: once I got my hands (and other parts) on it, I couldn't put it down. The Nubby G's magical abilities were every bit as stimulating as I remembered: my G was rubbed, my clit was nubbed, and my legs were quickly shaking in ecstasy.

I'm older, wiser, and a bit more experienced than I was when I discovered the original Nubby G, so its shortcomings are more apparent to me now: as a battery-powered toy, it doesn't rock as hard (or as long) as some of the rechargeable toys I've become acquainted with - and yes, it is aggravating when the batteries die in the middle of a particularly hot jack off sesh. But given its many other charms (and bargain basement price!), I'm willing to overlook that. The Nubby G will always have a place in my heart ... and one right by my ladyparts, too.

[We originally reported this toy as being made of silicone. It is actually made of thermoplastic rubber. Our apologies for the mistake.]

· Buy the Babeland Nubby G (babeland.com)