Fleshbot: Sex Tapes

Kappa Girl: China's Very Own Sex Tape Starlet

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 11:30:01 EST

Xiao Yun may have set some pulses racing with her scantily clad fundraising, but Kappa Girl—the latest sex scandal to emerge from the People's Republic—puts the budding philanthropist to shame with her honest-to-goodness sex tape.

It all started about a month and a half ago, when a twelve minute long video of "Kappa Girl" (named after her place of employment) made its way onto the internet. The Chinese people were overcome by love (or at least lust-fueled curiosity), rocketing Kappa Girl to fame—fame which only increased as she created a blog to defend herself (and post more sexy pictures). The Kappa store, however, was less than enthralled with their newfound mascot, and chose to fire her from her position; the Chinese police were similarly unimpressed, and threw Kappa Girl in jail when it was determined that she herself was responsible for leaking the video onto the internet (which, remember, is illegal in China).

But wait! There's a silver lining! London-based Harmony Films has taken note of Kappa Girl's plight, and offered the budding starlet her very own contract. Which we're sure she'll jump on... you know, just as soon as she gets out of jail.

And they said no good could come out of a sex tape scandal!

· 'Kappa Girl' fired for sex video (shanghaiist.com)
· 'Kappa Girl' detained by Shanghai police (shanghaiist.com)
· Adult entertainment studio Harmony Films wants to offer 'Kappa Girl' a real job (shanghaiist.com)

Caught On Tape: Top Ten Celebrity Sex Tapes

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:00:00 EST

Now that we all have digital cameras or webcams or iPhones or some sort of photo device that doesn't require third party processing, pretty much everyone out there has taken a photo or video of themselves en flagrante delicto—even celebrities (they're just like us!). The difference, of course, is that when your sex tape (or our sex tape) goes public, it really only matters to an audience of tens—as opposed to the tens of thousands (or millions) of people who happen to take interest when, say, Colin Farrell is caught on tape. Over the years, we've made good business tracking the all too many instances of celebrity sex tapes; join us after the jump for a walk down Naked Celebrity Lane.

Kid Rock: We're pretty sure there was only one reason why the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape was ever released: to prove (to someone, we don't know who) that these two a) have (or at least had) groupies and b) have received oral sex. We're pretty sure we didn't need to know either of those things — but hey, that's the world of celeb sex tapes for you.

Joanie "Chyna" Laurer: Female pro-wrestlers don't get nearly enough attention in the press—though we're not really sure that the kind of attention that Chyna's sex tape generated was really appreciated by her fellow female wrestlers (can you say "inch-long and thick-as-a-pinkie clitoris with a corona resembling the head of a penis"?).

Amy Fisher: Given that Amy Fisher's biggest claim to fame was shooting someone in the face, it is, perhaps, a little odd that she followed that up with her very own sex tape. Then again, Amy's criminal career was spawned by an affair she had with the much older Buttafuoco. When she was a teenager. And seriously, how hot does "Long Island Lolita: Caught On Tape" sound? (Related, but vastly less hot: the Joey Buttafuoco sex tape.)

Verne Troyer: Next up in our list of unlikely pornstars is Verne Troyer (better known as "Mini-Me."). Though Troyer didn't take too kindly to his time in the spotlight, we feel the release of his sex tape was actually a bit of a public service. Firstly, it taught us all that, no matter how different you may look, there's always someone out there who'll be willing to love you (and commit it to tape!). Secondly, it gave us all a very, very detailed lesson in how not to kiss.

Gene Simmons: And speaking of KISSing (ha!): you can't spell sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll without sex. And no one knows that better than KISS front man Gene Simmons, whose all too brief career in adult entertainment we were more than happy to analyze.

Dustin Diamond: If you'd told us, as kids, that Screech of "Saved by the Bell" fame would one day be the star of his very own sex tape, we probably would have run screaming from the room (well, after having you explain what, exactly, a "sex tape" was). That reaction wouldn't have been so far off: Dustin Diamond's last ditch effort to reclaim the spotlight was pathetic at best—but at the same time, isn't the whole pathetic grasp at fame thing the whole point of a self-released sex tape? (Oh, and also: Dirty Sanchez.)

Jenna Lewis: Screech wasn't the first "celebrity" to cash in on a "stolen" sex tape: that honor goes to Jenna Lewis, better known as Jenna from "Survivor," who raked in over $70,000 (and extended her fifteen minutes of fame) with her very own sex tape.

Kim Kardashian: And then, of course, there was Kim Kardashian's romp with R&B star Ray J. We never really figured out why Kim was supposed to be a celebrity, but at least she managed to make it with someone with at least a little bit of cred. And, for that matter, Kardashian managed to rake in a decent amount of money, too (much as she denied that she had had any part in the tape's public launch).

Colin Farrell and Nicole Narain: Given that Colin Farrell and former Playboy Playmate are two people we'd actually want to see get it on (as opposed to, well, many of the people who made this list), we were largely convinced that their rumored sex tape had to be a hoax. Yet somehow, it wasn't! See, sometimes the powers that be really do listen to our prayers.

Paris Hilton: Paris's tape hits the top of our list not so much for its quality (it's shot in night vision, for one thing, and Paris was never much of performer) but instead for its cultural significance. Before her flirtation with amateur porn, Paris was just a D-list party girl and hotel chain heiress; post-"One Night in Paris," she was a full-fledged C-list celebutante with her very own reality show. Using a sex tape to eke out a modicum of fame and launch oneself into the spotlight? Brilliant. (Oh, and there's also the matter of Paris's sexploits hitting the newswires the same day that Fleshbot launched—five years ago today! So maybe we're a little sentimental? It happens.)

Bonus Scandal! Dita Von Teese: Lovely Dita didn't so much make a "sex tape" as star in some arty lesbian fetish porn—but hey, the video was hot enough (and the scandal hyped up enough), that we had to include it somewhere. It also wins points for generating one of the best headlines ever seen: "Dita Von Teese had sex with a shoe." She sure did.

Details looks at the burgeoning field of ...

Jonnobot — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:15:46 EDT

Details looks at the burgeoning field of revenge porn, and what you can do if your ex-lover decides to make your intimate moments a matter of public record once the romance is over. (Short answer: not a whole lot. We'd say that means you should think twice before participating in any amateur porn shoots in your bedroom, but then what would we have to watch on Xtube?) (men.style.com/details)

Celebrity Sex Tapes 101

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:25:56 EDT

Do you ever wonder how those amateur celebrity sex tapes go from rumor to back door deal to shady paysites to your computer? Or why some videos become money-making blockbusters, while other never make it past step one? The L.A. Times investigates this sexual black market and the answers may surprise you. Or not. (latimes.com)

You know how we're always telling you that ...

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:35:33 EDT

You know how we're always telling you that if you post your amateur sex video online it'll eventually be seen by everyone in the whole wide world? Well, it seems that some Australian amateurs are catching on to that fact and keeping their homemade sex tapes to themselves. At least until they get famous and someone leaks the tape to Red Light District. (xbiz.com; thumbnail via Australian "amateur" site Abby Winters)

Mini-Me Sex Tape Hits The Interweb (You've Been Warned)

Jonnobot — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 13:45:18 EDT

After news of its existence was leaked ("leaked") a few months ago—and after one of its costars successfully sued to block its distribution—AVN is now reporting that the Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer sex video was posted to an "overseas website" earlier today. We have no particular desire to see it ourselves—frankly, we're still trying to purge our minds of the fact that it actually exists in the first place—but apparently we seem to be alone in our lack of interest: the site (which AVN says contains stills and a download of the entire video for $9.95) has been mostly unreachable all day. But if and when we're eventually able to get in, know that we'll be posting more about it here. Hey, we might not want to see Verne getting busy with his lady friend, but far be it for us to keep it from you if it happens to be your thing. We're all about no judgements around here, remember?

• "Mini-Me Sex Tape Released On Overseas Website" (avn.com)
• Sex WIth Mini Me (SexWithMiniMe.com)

Previously: Verne Troyer Sex Tape Costar Tells All!, Not The Verne Troyer Sex Tape

Former Miss Great Britain turned lad mag ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:35:18 EDT

Former Miss Great Britain turned lad mag star Danielle Lloyd is the latest celebrity to maybe possibly be caught in a sex tape kerfuffle. Because you haven't really seen someone naked until you've seen them naked in grainy cellphone camera footage. (dailystar.co.uk)

The Ballad Of Crystal And Jack, Or "The Longest Amateur Sex Tape Ever"

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:20:09 EDT

Ah, youth! The only problem with it, as they say, is that it's wasted on young horny people with nothing better to do than hang out around the house all day drinking, smoking and having sex. Take Crystal and Jack, or "Baby" and "Baby" as they usually refer to each other. They're just two crazy kids in love, and you will get to know more about them than you could have ever possibly hoped to in this 11-part video epic. Watch them cook dinner! Watch them drive around in their car! Listen to them talk! (Oh boy, do they talk.) And occasionally—in between long soliloquies about "the Houdini" and "skull dragging," whatever those things mean—they also have sex. It may not sound like it's worth sitting through a couple hours of footage for just a few amateur sex scenes, but these two chatterboxes are oddly compelling. Hypnotic, even. (Or maybe we're just entranced by Crystal's frequently exposed breasts, which you don't even have to turn up the volume for to appreciate.)

. . .

(Note: The full saga is below, with highlights of actual sex helpfully annotated by Intern Eve. Even we couldn't sit through the whole thing.)

See: minute 2:30-5:20

See: minute 7:30-8:20

See: minute 6:45-8:20

See: minute 7:30-8:30

See: minute 0:00-1:50

See: minute 5:00-6:00

. . .

All videos @ Megarotic

Did Buckeey Done Gone Get Herself A Sex Tape?

Jonnobot — Tue, 27 May 2008 12:30:35 EDT

"Wow, Fleshbot," we can hear you thinking as you peruse this item about an amateur sex tape allegedly starring "Flavor Of Love"'s Shay, aka Buckeey. "Have you really sunk so low as to post unsubstantiated sex tape rumours about people who were on past seasons of reality shows who most viewers have already forgotten about and who weren't even all that memorable to begin with?" To which we have no recourse but to hold our heads up high and answer "Yes. Yes we have." Especially when it's a slow news week. (sexmate.blogspot.com - thanks MH)

Still not convinced that the Jimi Hendrix ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:10:32 EDT

Still not convinced that the Jimi Hendrix sex tape is the real deal? Well, the man who brokered it tells his side of the story, including where it came from and how they did their research and ... well, it probably still won't convince you one way or another, but at least he tried. (avn.com)

Please Excuse Us While We Touch Ourselves: Vivid's "Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape"

Jonnobot — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 02:05:15 EDT

Anxious to cater to a public thirsty for more porn videos starring famous musical personalities after the epoch-defining success of "Jessica Sierra Superstar" convinced them that there's actually a market for this sort of thing, Vivid is planning to release a DVD containing a full eleven minutes of silent footage featuring an obscure American musician named Jimi Hendrix (along with plenty of filler to justify that $39.95 price tag). Assuming it really is this "Hendrix" person in the video, though, does he have what it takes to compete with the likes of such better-known erotic superstars like Kim Kardashian and Dustin "Screech" Diamond in the celebrity sex tape pantheon? Stay tuned!

· "Supposed Hendrix Sex Tape Is Offered" (NY Times)
· See also: Vivid's Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape Domain List (hollywoodheartbreaker.com, 10/2007 - via radaronline.com)

Update Of course, there's now a website and trailer.

Karla Edecan Wants To Be Famous

Jonnobot — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:45:25 EDT

We'd never heard of Karla Edecan until this morning, and chances are you haven't either: apparently, she's a cheerleader for a Tijuana baseball team who decided one day that she wanted to be famous ... and what better way to get tongues wagging about her than to engineer a "leak" of eight homemade sex videos to the interweb? At least that's the story our friends at Machochip told us when they introduced us to Karla and her considerable posterior charms; according to them, "she's a nobody wanting to become a somebody via doggystyle." Looks like her strategy is working—judge for yourself after the jump.

. . .

· "Babe from Chile" (sic) (redtube.com)
· "Karla Edecan, Mexican Cheerleader, Made A Sextape" (machochip.com)

A Hoax, You Say?

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:57:38 EDT

Guess what? That "new" Marilyn Monroe sex tape? Probably not real! And the guy who claims to have sold it may be just a self-absorbed name dropper who likes the attention. Stunning, isn't it? We know that you're hurt and confused by all these dastardly lies, but try not to let it ruin your faith in celebrity sex tapes. (Defamer)

(Maybe) Marilyn Monroe: The Other Sex Movie

Jonnobot — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:00:02 EDT

When we heard about that Marilyn Monroe blowjob movie yesterday we remembered seeing a clip from another vintage stag film allegedly starring Marilyn Monroe way back in our early web browsing days—you know, when it took us seven hours to download it via a poky AOL dialup connecton. We're pretty sure it's not the same one that was sold to a New York businessman for $1.5 million recently since the descriptions don't match: it's only 6 minutes long instead of fifteen, and its blonde star does pretty much everything (including play with a nifty vintage vibrating device) except give a blowjob. And there are several parts in it where the woman in the film always struck us as being a little too blowsy to be Marilyn herself, though that telltale mole is there and there's been additional forensic evidence over the years that "proves" it really is her.

Either way, it's a hot little slice of vintage porn, so we figured we'd share it with you so you can make up your own mind: until the new owner of that fifteen minute blowjob clip decides to register "MarilynGoneWild.com" and share that one with everyone, it's about as close to seeing an even more private side of Marilyn as any of us are ever going to get.

. . .

"Marilyn Monroe" Stag Reel: Part 1 of 3

"Marilyn Monroe" Stag Reel: Part 2 of 3

"Marilyn Monroe" Stag Reel: Part 3 of 3

· Top thumbnail via/see also: "Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape? Do Your OWN Forensic Investigation" (download info @ taxidrivermovie.com)

One of the oldest celebrity urban legends ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:10:13 EDT

One of the oldest celebrity ~~urban legends~~ sex scandals in history continues to make headlines as today's New York Post reports that a sex tape—film reel, actually—allegedly starring Marilyn Monore (and later "classified" by the FBI) was sold to a private collector for $1.5 million. And you thought that whole Lindsay Lohan connection was just a modern phenomenon? (nypost.com, via wjno.blogspot.com)

The Rick James Sex Tape

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:54:05 EDT

Are you ready for night vision footage of a bloated, sweaty, and high-as-a-kite Rick James getting super freaky in a recording studio shortly before his death in 2004? Or more accurately, are you ready to shake your head slowly with regret and silently curse the person who invented the handheld video camera? On the plus side, his sex tapes probably have a better soundtrack than most. (And aren't you glad we got through this entire post without a single "I'm Rick James, bitch!" reference?) (allhihphop.com, via Idolator)

What was the cruelest April Fool's prank ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:52:39 EDT

What was the cruelest April Fool's prank of all? Trying to make people believe that there's a secret sex tape starring delightful singing rumpshaker Shakira in a threeway. Some things are just too important to make jokes about, people. (radaronline.com)

Internet sleuths have tracked down the video ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:44:46 EDT

Internet sleuths have tracked down the video where that alleged Lindsay Lohan blowjob picture comes from and it's just as we suspected: about four seconds of grainy low-resolution footage of someone you can't identify giving some dude a blowjob. Also, if you listen closely to the garbled audio we believe you can hear a voice saying "Britney Spears is poor." Developing! MORE >>

. . .

· Video (xtube.com, via theblemish.com)

Who's That Girl?: The Greatest Celebrity Sex Scandals That Weren't

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:20:28 EDT

Everyone loves celebrity sex stories; we probably wouldn't be in business if they didn't. But one problem with amateur handheld night-vision camera phone pornography is that it's often difficult to identify the participants. Of course, that also makes it easy to dupe a public eager for juicy gossip into thinking that you fucked a movie star. The more immediate problem for us is that whenever one of these sexy stories "leaks" people turn to us to pass an informed judgment on its veracity—and most of the time, we're just as confused as everyone else: we do pride ourselves on our ability to spot a good fake, but even we get it wrong sometimes. (And that's the most shocking fact of all!) So join us as we take a look back at some incredibly scandalous true-life celebrity shenanigans that turned out to be not-so-true after all ... and even one that was.

. . .

· The Britney Spears Sex Tape

We all wanted that one to be true, but sadly, that was just the beginning of the end for America's fairy tale couple.

. . .

· The Alyson Hannigan Sex Tape

To this day, you can still find paysites that are trying to pass this off an authentic exclusive, even though no one really believed it in the first place.

. . .

· The Adriana Lima Sex Tape

We would have totally bought that a Victoria's Secret supermodel would fuck on tape, except that virgins don't generally fuck on tape. Or Victoria's Secret supermodels for that matter.

. . .

· American Idol contestant Antonella Barba's blowjob

We were never 100% sure if these were definitively proven to be her or not, but that's beautiful thing about interent scandals: It's not a lie if you believe it!

. . .

· Vanessa Hudgens Nude Cell Phone Pics

The craziest thing about these pictures wasn't that they involved the star of a Disney show, but that they were actually her! (She also may have taken them for a boy who isn't really into girls, but that's another story).

. . .

· Kristin Davis' Old Nudie Pics

Some people are apparently still on the fence about this one, but unless someone has a really detailed picture of Kristin Davis' elbows we're not buying it.

Gene Simmons continues his "garbage from ...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:15:18 EST

Gene Simmons continues his "garbage from my past" line of defense regarding the sex tape that he claims is "decades old" and part of an ongoing blackmail attempt. Honestly, we don't know why anyone would ever accuse Gene Simmons of being some sort of sexual animal. (Idolator + Copyranter)

While succinct enough, this three step guide ...

Jonnobot — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 15:21:09 EST

While succinct enough, this three step guide to publishing your own sex tape online from our eminent colleagues at Valleywag can really be reduced to two words: Gene Simmons. As long as you follow that as a negative example, we promise you can't go wrong. (valleywag.com)

Gene Simmons Addresses The "Incident"

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 10:57:54 EST

From his official website: "Hi everyone. You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options ... All is well." Why so harsh? It's not the best sex tape ever, but we wouldn't necessarily call it "garbage." (genesimmons.com)

Got Love For Sale: Analyzing The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:33:38 EST

As evidenced by his band's eagerness to place their name and likenesses on posters, t-shirts, mugs, license plates, fine hand-painted glassware, comic books, bicycle pants, condoms, and coffins, KISS frontman Gene Simmons is not afraid to sell anything. So is it too much of a stretch to believe that he'd sell himself, his penis, and the virtue of some aspiring model just to make a quick buck on the internet? That was the question on everyone's mind upon discovering that yet another celebrity sex tape had mysteriously "leaked" this week. Actually, that was pretty far down on the list of unsettling questions this tape raises, somewhere between "Does Gene Simmons really fuck with Steve Perry music in the background?" and "Seriously, Steve Perry?" More contextual analysis after the jump.

Judging by the reactions of some of our commenters and other bloggers, the real question is not if "The Demon" had a hand in this — or even whether it's really him — but why its execution is so, um ... uninspired. After all, what would it say about the failed Celebrity Apprentice's marketing skills that he would participate in a videotaped sexual liaison and not once employ his trademark gargantuan tongue? (Maybe that's why he ended up failing.) Hard Luck Woman, indeed.

Meanwhile, others are wondering about the mysterious yodel-loving "Elsa" and her role in all of this: it's obvious that she couldn't possibly have taken part in this endeavor without the promise of considerable financial reward herself, since she's clearly not in it for the romance. And then there are those who think the costar of the video is a Gene Simmons lookalike and that the whole thing is just a ruse to discredit his famously overblown persona. (Just ask NPR's Terry Gross about that.)

Even if the God of Thunder didn't authorize this dastardly money-making scheme himself, he may find a way to cash in on it eventually; hopefully that "offshore site operated in Panama" that's hosting the video has a good team of lawyers on its side. On the other hand, our sentimental side wants to believe in one blogger's interpretation that what we're witnessing is a passion play about two lovers united by cheesy power pop ballads of the '80s ... yet torn apart by fate. Maybe Paul Stanley could write a ballad about it?

· For even closer analysis, see "How Gene Simmons' Sex Tape Is The Fairytale Romance Of Our Time" (Gawker)

* * * * *

Previously: Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"

Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:20:23 EST

Maybe we and Terry Gross are not the ideal demographic for the just-now released "Gene Simmons Sex Tape", featuring a man who appears to be the KISS bassist atop an Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. But as personally repellant as many find Simmons, we can't help but thank him for leaving his goddamn shirt on.

· "Alleged Gene Simmons Sex Tape Released" (avn.com)
· "Rock Icon Gene Simmons Stars in Sex Tape?" (xbiz.com)

Update: After the jump, view some clips from the ten minute video: in one, Alleged Gene Simmons puts on a condom before entering his lady friend, who then refuses to kiss him. The reader may draw his or her own conclusions as to what that all means.

. . .

See also:
· Gene's Secret (genesecret.com)
· Gene Simmons and Terry Gross Interview (NPR transcript @ rof.net)

"Jessica Sierra Superstar": Because Rehab Is So Hot Right Now

Jonnobot — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:30:27 EST

In a new high (or low) in the annals of D-list celebrity sex tape marketing, Vivid is using the fact that beleagured "American Idol" contestant Jessica Sierra is currently serving out a stint in rehab as a selling point for the release of "Jessica Sierra Superstar" this coming Wednesday. Hey, when your sex tape costars a guy you met at Hooter's, you probably need all the additional marketing help you can get.

· "Vivid to Release Jessica Sierra Superstar Jan. 30" (AVN)
· "Jessica Sierra Superstar" (jessicasuperstar.com)
· Order: "Jessica Sierra Superstar" (Adult DVD Empire)

Previously: Jessica Sierra: Fallen Idol (First In A Series)

Sell Your Sex Tape (But Not To Us, OK?)

Violet Blue — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:16:30 EST

At this point in our porn-weary blogging careers (porn years are much longer than canine ones, trust us), you pretty much have to pay us to look at a sex tape—especially where some of them are concerned—and not the other way around. Yet, the plucky smut barons at Sell Your Sex Tape seem to be offering $2K for anyone who wants to make them a homemade sex video. Look out Red Light District! And hello Corey Clark; we think we hear your comeback 'a callin'. That is, if anyone still knows what a "tape" is.

· Sell Your Sex Tape (sellyoursextape.com, via Indie Nudes)

Will Vivica A. Fox be the next celebrity ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:55:06 EST

Will Vivica A. Fox be the next celebrity to get caught in a sex tape brouhaha? Every famous person will be eventually, so she might as well get it out of the way. (nydailynews.com)

Any doubts about Amy Fisher's involvement ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:58:17 EST

Any doubts about Amy Fisher's involvement with or assent to the DVD distribution of her homemade sex adventure are probably erased by the news that she will be the special guest DJ at her own sex tape release party. So we're going to go out on a limb and say that she's cool with the whole thing.

Top 10 Celebrity Sex Moments Of 2007: Famous People Get Naked Too

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:53:26 EST

Lists make excellent fodder for easy end-of-the-year posts, in much the same way that a celebrity nipple or embarrassing bikini malfunctions makes for easy rest-of-the-year posts. (You don't know what it's like sitting around on a slow news day begging for someone like Sharon Stone to forget her sense of decency for a moment until you've walked a mile in our shoes.) But if famous people didn't periodically lose their minds and do something naughty, all of our lives would be a lot less boring. It's true that some of the folks on this list of our favorite celebrity moments of 2007 have even been know to make movies or albums on occasion, but generally those aren't nearly as entertaining.

Check out some of the moments that kept our jobs interesting this year after the jump.

. . .

10

Not Meg White
Sometimes the best sex scandals are the ones that aren't true. Did White Stripes rhythm section Meg White really bang some college student in his dorm and let him film it? Does it even matter?

9

Britney's Downward Spiral, Stage 3
So ... um ... yeah ... that happened. Moving on ...

8

Hayden's Barely Legal Year
Another hot young babe had her "it's no longer creepy" party, to be followed next year by her "whatever happened to?" fiesta (i.e., her 19th birthday).

7

Everybody's Preggers!
Salma. Christina. Halle. Jessica. J-Love. Jaime-Lynn? (No comment on that one.) Everyone seems to have forgone the sexy on-camera Hollywood screwing for the private, baby-making kind. On the plus side, bigger boobs are always nice.

6

Anything Sienna Miller Does. Ever.
Seriously, we're not sure if this gal even owns a shirt, much less knows how to wear one, but we're just glad that her dedication to the cause of the celebrity nudity is so strong and vital.

5

Amy Fisher Understands A Good Press Event
Step aside, all you amateur scandalebrities: let a real tabloid veteran show you how it's done!

4

Natalie Portman's Ass
Better in theory than in iPod-quality practice, but any chance to see Ms. Portman sans culottes is a chance we're never going to pass up.

3

Kim Kardashian: Superstar?
The Paris Hilton "famous for being famous while having sex" phenomenon comes full circle, as her former sidekick parlays her fame by association into a TV show, a Playboy shoot and the worst Vivid video of all time. But at least she's not shy.

2

Vanessa Hudgens' Graduation Gift
Even gay men agree: don't send your high school musical boyfriend full-frontal nudie pics unless you're absolutely sure he can be trusted to not share them with ~~all his friends~~ Planet Earth. (P.S. You can't.)

1

Vanessa and Nick's Excellent Adventure
While they are not the biggest names on this list, the Mexican hot tub dance between pseudo-celebrities Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo was quite possibly our biggest story of the year. We hope that had more to do with the revelation of Vanessa's generous bush than Nick's pained o-face, but the moral, as always, is that watching famous people do dirty things is a terrific way to pass the time.

* * * * *

Honorable Mention: Sharon Stone's Outrageous Cameltoe, Marisa Tomei Wakes The Dead, and Mr. Skin's Top 20 Nude Scenes Of 2007

"Colin, Paris, Pam & Tommy; A Cinematic Exploration ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 12:12:47 EST

"Colin, Paris, Pam & Tommy; A Cinematic Exploration of the Celebrity Sex Tape." See, this is what happens when people have to work on a holiday. (foxsearchlight.com)

Croatians discover this thing called YouPorn ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 16:59:58 EST

Croatians discover this thing called YouPorn where they can still see the classic video of national hero Severina Vuckovic fucking on a waterbed. (This is what she looks like now, by the way.) It's a total disgrace, but they've thankfully provided the links so you can join in the shame. (javno.com)

A new sex tape scandal is rocking the world ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:58:52 EST

A new sex tape scandal is rocking the world of international, um ... swimming? Those folks are half-naked and wet all the time anyway, but hey, a sex tape is a sex tape. (news.com.au, more @ smh.com.au, chauffeurdebuzz.com, canali.libero.it

You know celebrity sex tape mania is getting ...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 16:59:20 EST

You know celebrity sex tape mania is getting out of hand when your father is the one to blame for leaking your homemade porn. And yes, Argentine reality show rejects count as celebrities, if they're adventurous enough. (guanabee.com)

Ever wanted to know the real deal behind ...

Fleshbot — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:05:50 EST

Ever wanted to know the real deal behind all those "private" celebrity sex videos that mysteriously wind up on store shelves behind glossy packaging? If sex tape broker Kevin Blatt's book proposal finds a publisher, we may have a chance to find out. (But will it explain why anyone decided that releasing "Kim Kardashian Superstar" would be a good idea in the first place? 'Cause that's what we really want to know.) (avn.com)

Sure, we've all made amateur porn ... but ...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:55:59 EST

Sure, we've all made amateur porn ... but was it any good? Maybe you need some pointers to turn your shaky handheld dreams into box office gold. The first tip: Start by being really, really, really good looking. (canoe.ca)

Vivid is planning to release a new "uncut" ...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:40:36 EST

Vivid is planning to release a new "uncut" edition of "Kim Kardashian: Superstar" that will last over 100 minutes! Because the problem with the original slow and lifeless version was that it wasn't long enough. (avn.com)

Surely you didn't think that Amy Fisher would ...

Fleshbot — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:42:24 EST

Surely you didn't think that Amy Fisher would go gently into that Red Light District sex tape business; she's suing the company for "alleged copyright infringement, emotional distress and other damages". We'd have thought she'd be happy about being viewed as a sex symbol again after all these years, but then we're notoriously poor judges of character like that. (AVN)

Paris Hilton's porn rage incident can finally ...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 14:18:02 EDT

Paris Hilton's porn rage incident can finally be seen ... and it's just as compelling and poorly staged as the sex tape it was based on! Girlfriend needs to seriously think about hiring a better director for her next project. (Defamer)

Amy Fisher Sex Tape Preview: The Plot Thickens

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:49:13 EDT

So how excited are you to see the Amy Fisher sex tape? After all, it's not like Kim Kardashian ever shot anyone in the face (that we know of)! Well before you place that pre-order on your credit card, maybe you'd like to see a little bit of what's in store. Bare boobs! Showering! Stomach tattoos! Possibly the best lighting in an amateur sex video ever! (It's almost like they knew other people would want to see it. Weird, huh?) The trailer and screen captures are online now, so get 'em while they're hot and still free. It's almost enough to make you feel sorry for poor Joey Buttafucco. (Er ... not really.)

· Amy Fisher Sex Tape preview (Vid and Caps) (phun.org)
· Amy Fisher Sex Tape (amyfishercaughtontape.com)
· "Red Light District to Release Amy Fisher Sex Tape" (AVN)

Previously: Amy Fisher Sex Tape: Better Late Than Never?

Amy Fisher Sex Tape: Better Late Than Never?

Fleshbot — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:13:04 EDT

Time was when the mere thought of a sex video starring "Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher would have sent our outer borough adolescent hormones on overdrive. Now, not only do we have to remind people who Amy Fisher actually is (or at least point them to her WIkipedia page), but we have to remind ourselves that her Lolita days have been long gone for decades now, even if tabloid headlines continue to refer to her as such. Did we mention that we're feeling very old all of a sudden?

· "Amy's Sexxy Video" and "Cheeky Lolita Bares All" (NY Post)
· Red Light District (clubredlight.com)