· HUMP! 4: HUMP-O-Ween (thestranger.com)

Previously: Dan Savage's Porn Problem, Their Humps: HUMP! Amateur Porn Contest 2007

Two teams of four get a limo and $100 each to complete an identical series of optional or mandatory tasks. each weighted for difficulty and chutzpah. All involve either interaction with the public or public displays of hardcore action set against a Pacific Northwest backdrop albeit with no distracting cameos by former members of Soundgarden.

Some of the stunts, like flushing their hands in a public toilet and eating fish eyes, are characteristic of Shane's World's devotion to its reality-style "Real World" roots. And when former Vivid girl Cassidey and Kacey Jordan convince a local to let them shave his balls and then give him the full porn star treatment, it really is a millennial Horatio Alger story.

"My day couldn't get any better," he says.

"You sure you don't just wanna fuck us?" Cassidey (who, up until this moment in the movie, hasn't appeared as enthusiastic as everyone else) asks. "We have condoms."

"If you do us both," Jordan adds, "that's 2,000 extra points."

Following two nights of partying with local bikers (one of whom was particularly lucky), one team squeaked out a narrow victory.

Similar to JM Productions' "American Bukkake" movies, these Shane's World ventures into the general population provide a snapshot of the porn-buying public, and sometimes it's a little scary, like a high school party you think might go wrong and you have no ride home.

But people should be so lucky to have women like Gianna, Cassidey, and Delilah Strong in high school.

· Shane's World (shanesworld.com)
· Buy "Shane's World #40 - Scavenger Hunt #4 - Seattle" (gamelink.com)

That said, it's always refreshing to see such a positive attitude towards taking your clothes off, and its community features make G-RL feel more like a well-scrubbed version of Suicide Girls or a tamer Abby Winters than a glossy boobfest like, say, Danni.com. But what about if you just want to look at some truly accomplished art nude photography (not to mention some hot naked babes)? You can do that too, via a free guest membership that give you access to a generous sample of preview pics from the couple of dozen sexy model galleries (sorry, Image Showcases) already on display. Who knew that looking at all those perky boobs could make us feel so ... you know, empowered?

· G-RL: Beauty. Art. Life> (g-rl.com; free registration required for guest previews)

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Previously: More Beauty From Beauty Is Divine, Simply Beautiful Girls, Photos by John Stoddart, High Gloss Dolls, Photos by Frank de Mulder, Photos by J. Steven Hicks: Digital Dreamgirls, Uberbelle, Mark Squires Photography, Playboy's "Natural Beauties", I Love Abby Winters, Shedworks

So we're psyched to see that at least a few of the clips from this year's HUMP! festival managed to make it online courtesy of their producers, including audience favorite "Alien Fucks Predator" (guess what that one's about?) and hardcore category winner "Everyone Likes Candy", a BDSM raunchfest that happened to be the only girl-on-girl entry in the competition. Of course, we'd love to have all the submissions on DVD so we can have our own screening sometime and join the fun, but we totally respect the decision to keep them under wraps. At least it gives us one more reason to visit Seattle next year. (Assuming we can figure out a way to escape from our porn blogging dungeon, that is. We've been trying for years now, and it's a lot trickier than you might think.)

· "HUMP 3 Winners!" (slog.thestranger.com)
· "Alien Fucks Predator" (superdeluxe.com, via theblogblog.net)
· "Everyone Likes Candy" (preview @ twobigmeanies.com)

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· Getting a Leg Up in Porn (shufuni.com, via theblogblog.net + tinynibbles.com)
· HUMP! - The Stranger's Amateur Porn Contest! (thestranger.com)

Previously: HUMP! 2: Call for Indie Porn Submissions

· Venzeulan beauty queen Aida Yespica puts on quite a show, especially when she isn't wearing a shirt. She should still learn to use her hands more. (dailypoa.com)

· A moratorium on new strip clubs in Seattle has finally been lifted after 18 years. Seattle's 18-year-olds will never know what they were missing. (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

· Meanwhile, Cleveland's mayor want to build a "strip club district", where horny bachelor party attendees can gather en masse. We hope there are enough $1 bills to go around. (cleveland.com)

· A new survey says that carpenters and other "tradies" do better than white collar workers when it comes to getting dates, although we think the investment bankers and their million dollar bonuses do alright for themselves. (news.com.au)

· Italian sex bomb Monica Bellucci says that "Beauty has no laws," which is too bad because her body should be illegal.

· Art folks are buzzing over the painting of a naked lady found underneath a famous Australian masterpiece. Boy, everybody has to keep their boobie pictures hidden, don't they? (news.com.au)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

We understand the dilemma: You want to exercise more, but you just can't find a way to stay motivated. Waking up at 4:30 in the morning so you can punish your body with situps and lunges just doesn't sound appealing. What you need is a personal trainer who isn't afraid to whip you into shape, literally—and maybe even slap you around a bit, twist your nipples into purple oblivion, or perhaps shove a high-heeled leather boot into your face. All of those fitness techniques are on the agenda when you're working out with Miss Candy, a Seattle-based BDSM personal trainer who uses all her skills as both a certified PT and an expert dominatrix to push your body further than you ever imagined. If you thought your pilates instructor was a sadist, try doing pushups with Miss Candy riding your back. You get all the punishment and twice the fun—and a great set of abs to boot! (By the way, if you know of any trainers in your area who offer the same services, let us know; Miss Candy can only improve so many people at once.)

· Miss Candy - D/s Personal Training (info + galleries @ misscandypt.com, via SugarBank)
· Miss Candy's Blog (misscandypt.blogspot.com)
· Thumbnail photo by Malixe (malixe.com)

Previously: Body Builder Porn, Flesh Flicks: Sexxx Training Camp, Sexercises!, Naked Training

You know you've got a pretty sweet gig going on when people want to take photos of you doing something you would probably be doing on your own time anyway. We imagine that's how Rhonda aka Audiblecell feels about her work as a fashion fetish model: while her Flickr profile says that modeling is her hobby, her photostream is full of shots of her showing off a whole slew of fetish outfits, from simple thigh-high boots to riding crops and harnesses. She's also an active member in the Seattle fetish community, as you can see her in this collection of candid photos from last week's Seattle Erotic Art Festival. When your hobbies involving looking stylish in rubber and latex, we suppose you don't have to look too far to find friends to play with.

· "From the click of a perverts camera comes....." (Flickr)
· Seattle Erotic Art Festival photos (geraldoar.com)
· Thumbnail: Latex by Fetishwear.net

Previously: 2007 Seattle Erotic Art Festival, Art By Dana Richardson: "Not Yer Average Perv", FlickrCash: Find The Boobs, Alexandre1000 on Flickr, Secretbruit on Flickr: Catch Her While You Can, Are You Fetish?, Stripped And Whipped: Latex Lingerie Hotness, From Masuimi Max With Love

About the only thing that gets us more excited than a citywide spectacle devoted to sexy art and culture is a website that greets us with the tantalizing words "SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING" in bold caps—and fortunately where this year's Seattle Erotic Art Festival is concerned, we don't have to settle for just one or the other. Alas, you'll have to go to Seattle yourself this weekend to check out what will be heating up the walls of the Fenix Performance Arts Theater in SODO since the festival organizers haven't yet posted any examples by the hundred or so artists whose work will be on display, but given the fact that nearly a dozen printers in the Seattle area refused to print the exhibition catalogue due to its explicit content, you can bet they'll be more than a few pieces that will be just the thing to perk up that chaste space above your sofa if you're so inclined.

· 2007 Seattle Erotic Art Festival (seattleerotic.org - thanks Jefe)
· Seattle Erotic Art Festival on MySpace (myspace.com)

· Thumbnail by 2006 and 2007 SEAF artist Erin Frost

Previously: World Museum Of Erotic Art, 2007 Sex Workers' Art Show Tour, "The Dirty Show", "Negative Exposure", "Peeping, Probing and Porn", Hot At Large, EroticArtists.org, "Eros In Modern Art", 100,000 Years of Sex, "Kink" @ Museum of Sex

· It looks like you won't be getting your copy of Kim Kardashian's sex tape in the mail from Vivid this week. If only there were some other way to find it online ... (avn.com)

· Finally, an awards show that really matters: Announcing the best "bodywork" ads found in the classified section of The Village Voice. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

· Hungary's leading XXX director says he doesn't make "porn"; he makes "fairy tales for adults." That's funny, we don't remember "Sleeping Beauty" ending quite like that. (budapesttimes.hu)

· Since when does being a burlesque dancer affect one's ability to sell real estate? We can't think of a more enticing sales pitch. (seattlest.com)

· Even koala bears enjoy hot girl-on-girl action. They are the most adorable lesbians in the animal kingdom (nzherald.co.nz)

· The new "Swanky or Spanky" underpants come with a built-in pocket to hold your condoms. Yet, another good reason to always have on clean underwear. (stuff.co.nz)

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

We read the story about Seattle's growing horde of drive-through coffee shops and their tendency to hire fresh-faced young lasses to steam your milk, then we had a good chuckle and forgot about it. Since the stuffy old newspaper article came without pictures or links, we had no idea what was really going on up there until the fine folks at Pornzio directed us to the website for Cowgirls Espresso, a Pacific Northwest operation that pours out overpriced coffee, but does it with a smile—and really skimpy outfits. We don't drink coffee anymore (it doesn't sit well with the Jack Daniels first thing in the morning) but if these gals worked in our neighborhood we'd probably fall off the caffeine wagon pretty quickly what with visiting them three or four times a day just to watch them frappe our grande chai, or whatever the hell the kids are drinking these days. That's what we call real customer service.

· Cowgirls Espresso (cowgirlsespresso.com, via pornzio.com)

Previously: Wet Spots: Welcome to Los Angeles!

We're still a little slack-jawed over the prospect of all those suburban soccer moms sweating their way to tighter buns via strip aerobics classes in major gym chains, but we guess that the mainstreaming of stripper moves can only be a good thing for everyone involved: more exercise for the masses and more ogling for the rest of us. While Seattle-based Pole for the Soul holds private classes, they've done us all the favor of posting photos and videos showing what exactly goes on in a room with three poles. Things might be a little awkward in those beginning and intermediate classes, but no one ever said those moves were easy ... and besides, practice makes perfect.-AR

· Pole for the Soul (poleforthesoul.com)
· Pole for the Soul Videos @ YouTube (youtube.com)

Previously: Pole Tricks, The Gallery: Online Strip Club, The Tampa Show, Strippers of London, Stripped Daily

· Seattle police are now using Craigslist to set up prostitution stings and then arresting the johns and basically ruining Craigslist for everyone. We suspect that we have not heard the end of this. (seattlepi.nwsource.com, via seattlest.com)

· Putting our little 007 tribute to shame, Thighs Wide Shut turns his homepage into a thoroughly faptastic retrospective of Bond Girls past. Almost too thorough ... that Jaws guy still creeps us out. (thighswideshut.org; Britt Ekland's ta-ta's via robbscelebs.co.uk)

· Take a look at the most expensive bras of all time. You would almost feel bad about taking them off—but not that bad. (spluch.blogspot.com)

· Rest assured whenever a naked guy runs down the middle of one of Los Angeles busiest highways, Defamer will be there. (Defamer)

· A nice old man in New Zealand defends the rights of school girls to run around in their underwear. So what if he's a Member of Parliament? He makes some good points. (stuff.co.nz)

· Dating service True.com will weed out the pervs for you ... after pulling them in with advertisements featuring tight-assed models. It's a bit of vicious cycle. (copyranter.blogspot.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· "Sex and the City" has been off the air for years, but Kim Cattrall still hasn't put any underwear on. Some habits are hard to break. (egotastic.com)

· A new study says casual sex in college can lead to depression, especially in women. What makes us depressed is that when we were in college, "friends with benefits" hadn't even been invented yet. (dailyillini.com)

· Sweden's "Big Brother" producers find yet another excuse for showing extended footage of their cast getting naked in the shower. Are they still trying to get away with calling it a "social experiment"? (dorpsgekken.nl, via Your Dirty Mind)

· Seattlest conducts an interview with a stripper who is not happy about Seattle striking down the "four foot rule". She's not too happy about being a stripper either, but that's a whole other problem. (seattlest.com)

· A former hedge fund manager realizes that Wall Street types could make a ton of money if they'd just invest in porn. Our used DVD collection alone has got to be worth a fortune. (money.cnn.com)

· Singapore is considering decriminalizing oral and anal sex ... but no gay stuff. What's the point of sodomy if everyone can't play along? (reuters.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Here's some completely unnecessary nudity courtesy of Michelle Marsh. Did we say "unnecessary"? We meant mandatory. (idontlikeyouinthatway.com)

· "Two people, stark naked, doing that thing birds do, bees do ... a lascivious display of him rubbing his bare bosom up against the driver's side window ... the only evidence at the scene were tire tracks and some empty condom wrappers." A chapter from a steamy new detective novel? More like the best police blotter report ever. (ponokanews.com, via Fark)

· A handy field guide for finding hot people working in Seattle. You should probably stay away from the opening line, "I read about you on the internet." (seattlest.com)

· When it comes to sex, people behave the same no matter where they live. We must all be learning from the same porn movies. (irishhealth.com)

· Another drive-by-porn attack costs the perpetrator a $500 fine. Dude, that's what drive-in movies are for. (dallasnews.com)

· This is what passes for lesbian sex in a Bollywood movie. Not bad ... for beginners. (dailymotion.com, via toxicmagazine.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives