#annalsofexhibitionism

If you're a fan of the bikini-clad baristas at your local drive-through espresso joint, dumping your spare change in their tip jar is probably a better way to show your appreciation instead of showing up in women's underwear and exposing yourself. Then again, they might not send you off with a complimentary cup of hot water for your trouble that way, so we guess it's your call. (kirotv.com; thumbnail via javagirls.net)

#personals

Seattle's The Stranger is saying goodbye to Ellen Forney's very amusing "Lustlab Ad of the Week" comics, making the plight of horny people everywhere a little less funny. (Though we're sure we'll still be able to get a few laughs out of the odd Craigslist ad anyway if we try hard enough.) (ellenforney.com + seatllest.com — thanks James)

#events

Amateur Porn @ HUMP-O-Ween 2008: Be Afraid

Those crazy porn-lovin' kids at Seattle's Stranger are at it again! No, it has nothing to do with their embarrassing get-off-my-leg-in-public habit (well, mostly): turns out they're having another amateur porn festival. Every year HUMP! has been a showcase of superlative indie porn that's shown only during the festival and destroyed afterward—prizes are awarded and everyone comes away with plenty of happy memories and wank material that lives on in their minds (and squishy bits) for years to come. This year they've moved the festivities to the end of October and are promising to scare the pants off all comers with HUMP-O-Ween. The deadline (heh) is October first and all details are on their website. We just hope that the clown porn thing isn't too much of a trend this year. Eek! More »

#whatisreality

Streaking With Gianna: "Shane's World Scavenger Hunt Seattle"

As the list of challenges went on—such as eating a fish's eyeball, streaking, and shaving a stranger's balls—we were convinced that "Shane's World 40: Seattle Scavenger Hunt" would be really cool if it were true. It was when team member Gianna announced that she needed a drink before she got started that we began thinking this was a real documentary. More »

#yourmoney

Itemize Those Deductions, Maggot!

If you're like us, you'll be spending the weekend relaxing with your accountant as you finish your taxes at the last minute. If only we could employ the services of Seattle's "Tax Domme" Mistress Lori, who specializes in the unique tax situations faced by sex workers. Breast implants? Tax deductible! Hand lotions? Let's hope so! (thenaughtyamerican.com; see also TaxDomme.com)

#andmoreadvice

... Or maybe you want to be an escort instead? We'd hate to dissuade you from your dream, so we won't; instead we'll send you over to this eye-opening post by Mistress Matisse who dishes out the "do not Craigslist" 411 advice on being your own high-end escort (or not) in a small-ish town like Seattle. (mistressmatisse.blogspot.com)

#photography

G-RL: Better Living Through Hot Nude Women

If you didn't know any better (and if all those perky naked boobs didn't distract you), you might think the promo copy in the membership tour for the newly launched G-RL.com community was borrowed from a T-Zone brochure or something (though we all know how Tyra feels about young women taking their clothes off when it's not for fashion): "I'm thrilled to be part of a company that gives women a means of empowering themselves, while at the same time sends such a positive message to society." So obviously, if your interest in naked models doesn't extend much beyond a few cheap thrills ... well, it's probably not your kind of site. More »

#video

Their Humps: HUMP! Amateur Porn Contest 2007

Of all the sexy events we don't get to attend every year due to our enforced isolation in the Fleshbot porn blogging compound, Seattle's HUMP! Festival is one we regret missing the most: in order to encourage participants to submit their most uninhibited film and video entries without having to worry about that harpy in Human Resources seeing their naughty bits splayed all over the interweb at some point, all submissions are destroyed in front of the audience at the end of each year's program. Which means that those of us who didn't manage to make it to Seattle last weekend missed out on all those "couches doing the nasty, sex on roller skates, aliens fucking predators, hot straight foot-fetish videos, sex machines taking over the world, sweet and oily robot love ... come shots in SAM's Olympic Sculpture park, an evil gay genius doing scorchin' hot boys under the Space Needle, and ever so much more." More »

#howto

Getting A Leg Up In Porn

Do you want to join the ever-growing porn biz, but only know how to take advice from educational filmstrips that were created before you were born? Then be sure to watch "Getting A Leg Up In Porn," a documentary adventure that uses cheesy fake mustaches, all-knowing narration, and the latest 1970s technology to demonstrate how a young, naive farm girl can become a seasoned bukkake-taking professional. Actually, as authentic as this film looks, it was really the second-place winner at last year's HUMP festival, Seattle's best (and only) amateur porn contest. (Incidentally, you still have on week to enter the 2007 edition.) Even though entries are typically destroyed immediately after being screened, the filmmakers behind this gem knew it was too good to keep hidden. Unlike most of the faded films you were forced to watch in junior high health class, these lessons will last a lifetime. More »

#workplacewoes

A special message to the Seattle Times staff member who got canned for looking at porn at work last week: We're truly sorry if we had anything to do with it. Can we, like, buy you a beer or send you a copy of "Barely Legal #923" or something? (seattlest.com)

#morningwood