In celebration of Google's milestone, we're taking a look at what porn was like way back in the day—after all, we can barely remember that long ago ourselves. After the jump, find out what the top five search results for "porn" were back then, and what they look like now. (And as an added bonus, we've enlisted the help of The Wayback Machine to show you how those sites looked like all those years ago. Can it be that it was all so simple then?)

. . .

Top Five Search Results For "Porn" In January 2001
PornCity.Net — The First Free Adult Host (web.archive.org)
PornDirectory.Com - The Complete Free Porn Directory (web.archive.org)
mega porn links. complete listing of adult porn sites (web.archive.org)
Persian Kitty 's Adult Links - www.persiankitty.com (web.archive.org)
Free Porn List - porn XXX sex Link list and Porno Directory (web.archive.org)

Top Five Search Results For "Porn" In October 2008
Full Free Porn Videos & DVDs - Sex, Porno, Porn Tube, Free XXX Porn (pornhub.com)
Porn & Sex, Porn, Free Porn Videos & Movies, Teen Pussy Porn & Big ... (yobt.com)
Free Porn, Sex, Tube Videos, XXX Pics, Porno Movies - XNXX.COM (xnxx.com)
Free Porn Movies, Porn Tube Videos & XXX Porno Stars Having Sex (keezmovies.com)
BabesDosage.com - Your daily dosage of porn, 100% free porn (babesdosage.com)

(The more things change, the more they stay the same, right? Though frankly, if we can't be there ourselves we think PornHub is a vast improvement over PornCity for top hit.)

· Google 2001 (google.com)

People have been trying to answer these questions ever since Google Trends allowed them to examine global search statistics to determine both how often certain terms are being searched for but where they're being searched from. For example, did you know that searches for "anal sex" are more popular in Herndon, Virginia than any other city in the U.S.? (We had our suspicions.) The folks at Debonair Magazine decided to use Google Trends to see exactly who likes what and where they like it. But we think that if you really want to examine community standards, it's not enough to just know that people search about fucking—you need to compare naughty search terms (like "porn", pussy", and "dirt pipe milkshake") with innocent and wholesome one. (like "puppies", "rainbows", and "root beer floats"). We know people are horny, but are they hornier than your average board game playing, candy-loving, LOLcat fan? (Or are they the same people?)

So would people in your town rather think about naked bodies or adorable puppies? Big purple dildos or (Orlando) Magic tricks? We recently conducted this highly unscientific experiment ourselves and the results may surprise you! Or not! But that's science for you.

· Google Trends (google.com)
· "Searching For Sex - Global Sex Trends Examined" (debonairmag.com)

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Previously: Google (Sex) Trends, World Porn Search Statistics

User-generated content needs, you know ... users, so at this point, StumblePorn may be better in theory than practice, but if it works so well for every other part of the web, why not the filthy part? Of course, why do you need anyone to tell you where to look for online smut when you have us? Did we ever steer you wrong? Ok, that one time ... but we were full of cough syrup and we forgot the safe word.

· Stumble Porn (stumbleporn.com)
Note: The site looks safe to us, but as with any service that requires a download and installing something on your computer, exercise appropriate caution.

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Previously: Hottest Girls Of MySpace (That Includes You, Presley Maddox), A Peek At The Peeq, Porn 2.0: Haven't We Been Here Before?, Social Porn Is Exactly What You Think It Is

We all know that Flickr is a great place to dump all your drunken spring break pictures, drunken night on the town pictures and drunken "finally convinced my girlfriend to let me take pictures of her coming out of the shower" pictures. It's such a great place for that, however, that it can be pretty difficult—and time consuming—to sort through thousands of photostreams to find the good stuff. Enter FlickrCash, a new tool that not only searches Flickr for you, it pulls everything it finds into a huge mosaic that allows you to view, sort and explore all the results in one easy to use (and cool looking) interface. It also lets you save your favorite searches, so you can quickly revisit your most memorable Flickr finds. And despite the name, FlickrCash is completely free. You just know you've found a cool internet widget when our geeky sister site Lifehacker has already raved about it—which means that we guess it's good for storing photos that don't have boobs in them too. Imagine that!

· Flickr Multi Parameter Search (flickrcash.com, more @ Lifehacker - thanks Tanner)
· Check out FlickrCash Boobs and Cameltoe mosaics to get started.

Previously: Alexandre1000 on Flickr, Glitch Porn on Flickr, We(Heart)Boobs, Plumpr, Flickr, Blogs and Ethics, Blowjobs and Haikus, CantikFotos on Flickr, Hand Jerker Helper: When Too Much Porn Is Not Enough, Katie West's Self Portraits, Flickrdreams

We've always used our ignorance of the Japanese language as an excuse for being less knowledgeable about the breadth and depths of the Japanese online porn scene than we ought to be—but thanks to our esteem'd colleague Evil Sensei at SenseiSays, who provided a wealth of helpful information on having your own frenzied Asian masturbation fest a few weeks ago, we're fast on our way to becoming the experts in the topic we've always been destined to be. But why should we do all the work for you—or rather, why should be have all the fun finding this stuff ourselves? After the jump, Evil Sensei offers a comprehensive copy-and-paste guide to Japanese Porn Terms 101 and using search engines to find exactly the kind of material you're looking for—so from now on if you're bereft of all the hot XXX bukkake, nakadashi, or tekoki action you can handle, you'll have only yourself to blame.

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Evil Sensei's Guide to Japanese Porn
Part One: A Japanese Porn Term Primer
by Evil Sensei

- - -

If you don't speak (or read) Japanese, then finding quality Japanese fap material can often be a chore. Sites like as javtalk.com and asianscreens.com will go a long way to giving you a taste of what's out there, but would-be connoisseurs will probably be left wondering—what else is there?

It's at this point you can do yourself a real favour by learning a little bit of the language, or at least learning to recognise some regularly occurring characters.

For the most part, you don't need to be able to read Japanese to understand what's going on with JAV DVD covers, but cut/pasting the terms below into your favourite search engine can turn up all sorts of things you might not otherwise have found.

Basically there are three character sets in Japanese: hiragana (the curved script), katakana (the more blocky script—generally used for 'foreign' words but also for unusual uses of Japanese) and kanji (based on the Chinese character set). AV often uses hiragana and katakana interchangeably just to add to the fun. Here are a few useful terms in both hiragana and katakana (and in some cases, kanji) that you can familiarize yourself with.

? ? ? ? - bukkake

? ? ?? - gokkun (swallowing)

- zamen (semen)

? - nakadashi (creampies)

- rezu (lesbian)
- superezu (sperm lesbians - you know, chicks who french-kiss and orally swap other people's bodily fluids)
? - peniban (short for penis band or strap-on)

? ? ? ? - manko (pussy)

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? chinko/chinpo (dick)
(Printed Japanese tends to shy away from printing terms for genitalia, especially 'manko', which is never uttered in polite company. You'll often find it printed with 'maru' (a circle) instead of the last character.

(As a somewhat irrelevant aside, there's an ascii art flash animation that's been around for a while now about squeezing one's chinko. Have a Japanese friend explain it to you.)

cosplay
? joseikousei; ? ? joshikousei = variations on 'schoolgirl'
- naasu (nurse)
OL - Office Lady
RQ - Race Queen
(There are many other variations on cosplay including anime characters, campaign girls, model look-alikes and so on)

- tamakeri (ball-kicking) ? ? ?

?? tekoki (handjobs) ?? ashikoki (footjobs)

- rori (loli = Lolita)
(roricon - Lolita complex)

? ? - shibari (bondage)

- reipu (rape)
? ? ? ? - chikan (molester - usually refers to guys who feel up girls on crowded trains)

? ? - omorashi (incontinence - usually public) ? ? ?

This list is by no means comprehensive, but for those of you who want to go beyond "find something that has eyes with a precanthal fold, proceed to wank", it should go a long way to getting you started. Put these into your search engine of choice. You can also try combinations. For example, see how you go with ' '. You can also try the Japanese variants of your search engine (a .co.jp extension should do the trick—e.g. Google.co.jp.)

The actual finding of quality Japanese spankworthiness is left as an exercise for the reader. Make sure you post whatever material you find in the comments below so we know how you're doing.

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Previously: How To: Have A Frenzied Asian Masturbation Fest (Starring Maria Ozawa!), The Japanese Model Project, Overly Specific Japanese Fetish Videos: The Return!, Giant Japanese Boob Dolls, "Pink Box: Inside Japan's Sex Clubs", Top 25 Potential Japanese Girlfriends, Ultimate (?) Asian Hotties List, J-Addicted: Japanese Pinups, Asianmodelpalooza 2006, "That Lesbian JPop Clip": Gam, "Melodies", Meet Sai-Tai Tiger, More Overly Specific Japanese Fetish Videos, Overly Specific Japanese Fetish Videos, Japanese Armpit Fetish Videos, JanBoPai: Japan Body Painting Museum, Sexy Japanese Idols, Asia Diva

As if spending too many hours trawling Google's new Patent Search feature for the latest in insertable technology wasn't diverting enough, it's now even easier to keep up with what's going on in the sex gizmo world via the recent official launch of X-RatedPatents.com. which culls the Google listings for things like Breast Implant Injectors and Penile Volumetric Measuring Devices and presents them to you in convenient blog format, complete with their original illustrations. Of course, looking for these things is part of our job description, so we can legitimately claim it's made our day-to-day work more efficient; unless your job involves dildonic research (or sex blogging, for that matter), you'll have to come up with your own excuse when your boss catches you at your desk trying to make your own Lap Dance Liner out of a couple of paper towels and a piece of fine-grained sandpaper.

· Breast Implant Injector And Method Of Use, Penile Volumetric Measuring Device, Lap Dance Liner (all these and more @ X-RatedPatents.com)

Previously: Top Ten Sex Toy Patents, Sex Patents, Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Thanks to the several readers who wrote in to let us know that as of today, most (though not all) of the sites referenced in yesterday's post about something rotten in the state of Googleland where the sex blog and indie porn scene was concerned have been restored to their rightful place in Google's search results. As one reader said,

"I've been in the tech industry for many years and I'm wondering if we have an occurrence of what we used to call 'Xmas Software Flu' - where the office newbie (tapped to work through Xmas) is told to 'install that new module when things are quiet' - and royally f*cks it up? Given what Renato Silveiro reported in the BoingBoing version of the article (Google's indexing engine tearing his bandwidth a new one), I'm inclined to believe there were frantic phone calls in the Google neighborhood - including phrases like 'it's doing what? How f*cking often?'."

· Previously: Google Spanks The Little Guys

Dude, where's our porn? Or our sex blogs? It used to be that if we searched for sites like Eros Blog, Pretty Dumb Things, Good Vibes, Comstock Films, and (our own) Tiny Nibbles and Violet Blue, we'd get each of these sites in the top rankings or on the first page of results (SafeSearch off, natural results). But no more: apparently Google has been changing its search algorithms over the past few weeks, dropping many popular sex blogs and independent adult sites in the process. It seems to have coincided with certain changes they made relating to their keyword ad program AdSense, though the website for respected sex toy retailer Babeland was dropped first (and hard) before the holidays. Interestingly, searches for more "mainstream" (and big-business) sex and porn-related sites like Adam and Eve or Vivid (and Fleshbot, for that matter) turns up the expected results—but now all we get are secondary links and spam (splog) results when we search for the indie players on the sex blog scene, a development that cuts into their traffic and revenue. We just have to wonder, is this all part of Google's new abstinence-only program?* -V. Blue

· "Chronicle writer disappears in porn clampdown" (valleywag.com)
· "Will Google Kill Comstock Films?" (comstockfilms.com)
· "Google Delivers a Lump of Coal to Babeland" (blog.babeland.com)
· "google is broken" (tinynibbles.com)
· Image via Spanking Blog (spankingblog.com)

Update Well, things seem to be back to normal as far as Google is concerned (for now, anyway)—see update here.

· We don't know anyone who really uses the Microsoft-sponsored Ms. Dewey search engine to find anything online. But we do know that plenty of people will now be able to see her naked without actually having to ask her. (msdewey.com + toxicmagazine.com)

· The always reliable Mary Carey pulls a Britney while getting into her car at a club—which would've been bigger news had she been elected governor of California and/or hadn't built an entire career out of flashing her crotch in public. (video @ tmz.com)

· We're also not above posting a photo of a hot model trying to adjust her thong—especially since we also know that you're not above clicking on that link. (tmz.com)

· We think this would be a great update for the Mozilla Firefox logo. In fact, we've already upgraded our extensions, if you know what we mean. (2spare.com)

· Dutch women are growing and 32 percent of them now have a D-cup or bigger. It's official: We're heading to Amsterdam for Spring Break. (expatica.com)

· Seattlest has an interesting question for the cops who busted 14 dancers at a local strip club: if they're all prostitutes, where are the johns? Or do the cops think they acted alone? (seattlest.com)

· Finally, because it's Friday and why the hell not, here's some vintage Bettie Page. The classics never go out of style. (YouTube)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

The interwebs have been abuzz this week with the launch of Google's new Patent Search service, which allows anyone to easily sift the records of the US Patent Office, dating all the way back to the 1700s. (So what if you could already do this at the Patent Office's own site? Now it's all Google-y!) Naturally, it took less than a day for someone to do something dirty with it and our friends at Homemade Sex Toys have already furnished their list of the best sexual device patents. We're not sure if any of these inventions will ever (or should ever) make it to the market—although the "cunnilingus assistant" might have its uses—but whatever you think of the crazy people who came up with stuff, remember ... they were only trying to help.

· Top Ten Sex Toy Patents (homemade-sex-toys.com)
· Google launches patent search site (news.com.com)
· Google Patents (Google)

Previously: Sex Patents, Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

· Mariah Carey wants to prevent Mary Carey from trademarking her name. Shouldn't this story have been written like, four years ago when it might have mattered? (avn.com)

· Jennifer Lamiraqui sure looks good in lingerie. Maybe it helps that they're both French? (doubleviking.com)

· Are Indian men really underendowed when compared to ... uh, non-Indian men? Gawkering minds want to know, so they asked the one Indian guy they could find ... with little success, no pun intended. (Gawker)

· Exhibiting more than their usual interest in genitalia this week, Gawker also investigates the celebrity crotch shot phenomenon, asking two experts a whole bunch of questions that we've remained too dumbfounded to think of ourselves. (Gawker)

· A priest in Romania plans to fine any brides who come before him that aren't virgins. Fortunately, the definition of "virgin" is not exactly written in stone. (metro.co.uk)

· A court rules that you can be fired for passing around emails of Wicked Weasel girls, and the Americans with Disabilities Act isn't going to help you. Not even if it gives you carpal tunnel syndrome? (news.com.com)

· Finally, the new guy at our sibling site Valleywag digs up the softcore past of the web's sauciest search engine. We think that kid has a future ahead of him. (Valleywag)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives