Porn press releases usually need to be sifted through for their lone kernel of news or truth, so when we read that 28-year-old Bailey had a master's degree we took it in a salinated dollop, the way we tolerate statements like "This is my last messageboard post ever, you haters," "I appeared in tranny movies because it's punk rock," and "I've been working on my paintings."

But Bailey is the real deal. Formerly a solo model and girls-only performer (one of her final pre-Vivid movies is Michael Ninn's upcoming "Nymphetamine 3"), the tall cool blonde performed her first onscreen boy/girl scene ("Man/Woman sounds like Tarzan") for Vivid's "The AJ Bailey Experiment."

Fleshbot: But you're an anthropologist...

Bailey: Before Vivid I had done some modeling, but only in the Adult world. I was very drawn to the industry through being a fan in my personal life, and thought that I may have what it takes. I initially became involved in the business to assist in funding my graduate degree overseas (she went to Scotland's University of St. Andrews). The modeling I had done previously was in LA, as it's the epicenter of the industry, and truthfully, I missed the glamour of it all when I left.

FB: Growing up in the St. Louis area and living in L.A. share many attributes, though I can't think of any right now.

Bailey: I waited tables for years and the customer service in L.A. is terrible. You would think it is your honor to be waited on by your distracted would-be-actor server. It's terrible. The traffic isn't so different, just that the distances are farther. It seems to take an hour to get everywhere in L.A., as opposed to 20 minutes (with no traffic) in St Louis.

FB: The anthropologists I know are lusty, hearty folk, full of keen insights and happy hour beer from university-adjacent bars. But they don't make a lot of money. You've said that porn is a good option in tough economic times. But if money wasn't an object ... ?

Bailey: If I got the "dream job" in my field, I would be back doing what I did as an intern in Scotland, only getting paid for it. I would love to be a conservator or collections manager for a historical organization. I prefer historic houses or manor homes or castles to the bureaucracy of a museum. I love museums as well though...don't get me wrong!

FB: That's good, because we're really hoping this here NEA grant is going to get the Fleshbot West Museum of the American MILF off the ground. AJ Bailey, will you date us?

Bailey: I don't think that porn and dating mix actually. Everyone wants to fuck you...and that's it. That tends to be the plight of the hot chick anyway, but of course it's worse when someone knows what you do for a living. Everyone wants something from you in LA....but I think that's ok, because often I want something from them!

FB: How was your first boy/girl scene?

Bailey: My first scene was really sexy. It was just very natural and hot and fun and I came four or five times. I always get off for the camera. I like that people are watching me. Also, I hadn't gotten laid in what seems like ages..

FB: This is shameful. We wish you had called us. Now: tell us about dicks.

Bailey: I am surprised how much more I like doing guys on camera. I knew I would like it, but I was just worried that the dicks would be sooo big, or that I wouldn't have chemistry with my partners. However that is not the case.

FB: Are you saying -

Bailey: Well of course their dicks are enormous, but I love every minute of it.

Bailey reports that websites bearing her likeness and variations on her name have been poached, but that Vivid is working on getting them back. So we'll leave you with a link to Vivid, and will keep you informed of Bailey's comings (however any there are) and goings.

· Vivid (vivid.com)

Not just the obvious ones, either – what is that girl about to be spanked for (one assumes that an upcoming spanking is the reason for her presenting like that), and why doesn’t she look either more or less frightened at the prospect? Or even where, in the name of all that’s sacred, is that school? – but a more far-reaching question.

Once you’ve graduated, presumably magna cum something, what line of work to go into, and what part of Monster.com do we access to hire you?

· Harmony Films (www.harmonyppv.com)
· Buy "Young Harlots - Dirty Secrets" (gamelink.com)

· "The Naked Portrait" (exhibition info @ nationalgalleries.org; see preview gallery here - via sexblo.gs)
Thumbnail: Jane Birkin (1969) by David Bailey

Previously: "Eloquent Nude": Edward Weston and Charis Wilson, World Museum Of Erotic Art, Sweatnapper: Modern Nude Ambrotypes, Touring London's Sex "Theme Park", Old Master Smut By David Nicholson

· It probably would've been more fun if we'd known this earlier, but today is No Pants Day—or as it's known around Fleshbot HQ, "Friday." (nopantsday.com)

· Hermione Granger (a.k.a. Emma Watson) is all grown up—even more than she probably realizes if this Harry Potter poster is to be believed. (adweek.blogs.com)

· In a shocking turn of events, students who are given laptops in high school end up using them for things other than homework. At least they're still getting an education. (nytimes.com)

· Pong is a lot more fun when you get to feel up your partner while playing it (we-make-money-not-art.com, via Kotaku)

· Scotland's new strip club regulations could mean the death of strip-o-grams. In other news, people in Scotland still send each other strip-o-grams. (theherald.co.uk, via wfmu.org)

· Ricky Martin gives up on music, starts entertaining his fans with nude home movies and curse words. Way to know your audience. (metro.co.uk)

· This is one safe sex ad that does not discourage sex of any kind. We're not sure how "safe" some of these moves are, but he is using protection. (Being a cartoon helps, too.) (YouTube, via cmmnews.blogspot.com))

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Scots director Gazzman captures a world of class and privilege unknown to us in the colonies with his "Young Harlots." Just listen to these two British schoolmasters observing an H-dropping and be-socked scholar:

"I love it when new girls arrive."
"Mmm (sniff). She looks like she's got a lot to learn. Mmm."
"Luckily we're very good teachers."
"Mmm (sniff). That's true. Mmmm."

Turns out the school was founded by "a witch who had sex with the Devil," thus the final "Eyes Wide Shut but with Sex" scene. - GP

· Gazzman (gazzman.com)
· Buy "Young Harlots - The Academy" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

· We'd never heard of Sarah Shahi, but Manny's Babes briefly explains why you should care about her. You know, besides the fact that she's ridiculously hot. (mannysbabes.blogspot.com)

· Meanwhile, if Padma Lakshmi and her sensitive palate looked a little familiar on the premiere of Bravo's "Top Chef" last night, it may be because you've seen her naked on Fleshbot a few years ago. (She's also still married to perennially beleagured author Salman Rushdie, who presumably gets to see her naked all the time.) (bravotv.com + wikipedia.org)

· Even the New York Times has figured out the slutty Halloween costume trend. Doesn't that mean it's officially over? (Gawker)

· If your "wedding tackle" is in need of a little extra protection, you should try the Nutty Buddy. OK, so it doesn't have a lot to do with porn or sex ... but who doesn't love watching some dude take a fastball to the sack? (video @ thenuttybuddy.com)

· All your ISP data are belong to the FBI. Well, not yet, but when has the government ever let those pesky laws get in the way of a little snooping. (www.xbiz.com + techweb.com)

· A Scottish woman discovers a magic youth potion—that naturally improves sexual performance—while on a trip to Malaysia and decides to sell it to her countrymen. In other news, Malaysia has declared war on Scotland for stealing state secrets. (highland-news.co.uk)

· Nudist resorts come out of their empty closets and expose themselves to curious onlookers. Sorry, we're out of bad metaphors. (abcnews.go.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· When you're a supermodel like Helena Christensen, you don't just take your clothes off for nothing. You do it for the art, man. (omgblog.com)

· In case you didn't make it to Barcelona's Erotic Film Festival last week, a few who did brought their cameras. It makes us wonder though: with all those naked people walking around, who has time for movies? (20minutos.es, via sexblo.gs; more coverage @ AVN)

· Headline of the day: "Man Reckons Santa-Playing Days Over After Indecency Arrest." Uh ... yeah, we reckon that too. (theindychannel.com)

· In an effort to get around prostitution laws, Korean men are now paying to have sex with inflatable dolls. That does make it harder for you to ask if she's a cop. (theregister.co.uk)

· Have you ever tried composing fiction with a giant butt plug in your ass? Sheesh ... talk about writer's block. (thestranger.com)

· Violet Blue explores Japanese nose abuse porn and asks the question "Did something bad happen to Japan's nose as a kid?" To which an astute 10ZenMonkeys reader responds, "Wasabi?" (10zenmonkeys.com)

· Oklahoma's attempt to regulate video games the same way they do porn gets shot down like a row of rampaging zombie robots. That's a good thing. (xbox.ign.com + gamasutra.com)

· Famed strip joint Spearmint Rhino is opening its first club in Scotland. It'll be just like Vegas, except you won't be able to understand a thing through those accents. (theherald.co.uk)

· No matter how many times we've seen it over the years, we continue to marvel at the talent displayed in this video. After all, it must take a lot of concentration to gush like that when you're talking to Jay Leno. (pornotube.com - thanks Courtney)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· The folks at Digital Journal ask the question "What's the big deal with free porn?" Uh, you're new here, aren't you? (digitaljournal.com)

· Paris Hilton spent her weekend literally dancing her pants off while you were busy doing ... whatever it was you were doing this weekend. The rich really are different from the rest of us. (yeeeah.com)

· Apparently, the only person who couldn't figure out the "mystery" of Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive is the person responsible for updating their website, because everyone else seems to know it's Scarlett Johansson. Actually, we could've told them that a long time ago ourselves. (esquire.com + usatoday.com)

· Lingerie Dreams kicks off their "October Revolution" with a nice assortment of hot Russian girls in lingerie. Power to the people! (lingeriedreams.info-fiend.com)

· We really need to pick up a copy of this book on eBay, because lately there seems to be something lacking in our black magic sex rituals. Besides, we need all the help getting laid that we can find. (ebay.com, via Boing Boing)

· This hair salon ad has certainly piqued our interest, but which hair they're talking about is still unclear. (Flickr, via adrants.com)

· A study in Scotland finds that half of all men who pay for sex also have a partner at home. Now, that's just a waste of good money. (reuters.co.uk)

· Despite what you may have been told in the past, it takes men and women the same amount of time to get aroused. How long they stay that way is up to you. (yubanet.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

· Victoria "Don't call me Posh Spice" Beckham reveals maybe a little bit too much of herself ... or just the right amount, depending on how badly she wanted her name in the paper this week. (hollywoodtuna.com)

· We're worried that our gearhead brothers at Jalopnik may be huffing too many exhaust fumes. That's this only explanation for this poll that somehow combines incest with 1980s video game-based racing cartoons. (Jalopnik)

· Since we're in the mood for breaking taboos today, a witchdoctor allegedly ordered a Serbian man to treat his premature ejaculation by having sex with a hedgehog. Predictably, it did not go well. (Note that "a thorough search of the Register database for 'sex' and 'hedgehog' returned 0 results." Thank goodness for that.) (theregister.co.uk)

· Chinese surgeons claim to have performed the world's first successful penis transplant. Organ donation is great and all, but we're taking this one to our graves. (scotsman.com)

· Scottish people have more sex than you think. And if you spend a lot of time thinking about Scottish people having sex, you should probably find some new hobbies. (timesonline.co.uk)

· A Brazilian call girl who turned her life into a best-selling book (with an English translation on the way) will soon see it turned into a movie. A film about a hot Brazilian sex worker? Like anyone wants to see that! (observer.guardian.co.uk)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Not only is the kaptivatingly kurvacious Kittie Klaw the founder of the world's premier burlesque agency, production group and community, The Ministry of Burlesque, she's also an international burlesque artist herself—as well as an actress, model, published writer, parapsychologist, and "paranormal investigator in the areas of alien abduction, near-death experience, the Placebo effect, remote staring detection, Victorian spiritualism, extra sensory perception, and more". But the really interesting thing about her is that she's hot and has lots of naked pictures herself on the internet. Sometimes we're not even sure why we take the time to mention the other stuff.
- A. Tolesco

· Kittie Klaw (kittieklaw.com)

Previously: Meet Ancilla Tilia, Meet Tiara Lestar, Meet Mistress Kassandra, Meet Sasha Mia, Say Hello to JessieKitty, Meet Kati Rudlova