Fleshbot: Sci-fi

We know as well as anyone that porn can't ...

Violet Blue — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 10:45:10 EDT

We know as well as anyone that porn can't "make" anyone do anything sex-related they didn't already want to do, but when we read that "a 48-year-old woman with a stimulating electrode implanted in her right ventral thalamus started to compulsively self-stimulate" we realized that science was the final frontier for sexual compulsion debates. That, and we'd like to volunteer for future studies if anyone's looking for willing lab bunnies. (mindhacks.com - thanks Praemedia)

In A "Sex Galaxy" Not So Far Away ...

Gram Ponante — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 10:50:11 EDT

100 years in the future, when sex is illegal and the Grand Canyon is a ghetto, a group of astronauts embark on a mission that ultimately leads to self-discovery (with a fair amount of naked flesh thrown in for good measure). This labor of love sci-fi comedy exploitation film combines snippets of dozens of public domain B movies—as well as, horrifyingly, a U.S. government syphilis primer—to tell a story that stars everyone from Mamie Van Doren and Basil Rathbone to Fleshbot Crush Object^TM Puma Swede. "Sex Galaxy" premiers at Hollywood's New Beverly Cinema June 26; check out the trailer after the gap.

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· Stag Films (stag-films.com)

Desiree Cousteau In "Randy The Electric Lady": The Original Orgasm Addict?

Jonnobot — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:45:33 EDT

We've been huge fans of porn legend Desiree Cousteau and her appearance as the hapless victim of evil orgasmic research in 1980's "Randy The Electric Lady" ever since ... uh, yesterday when our diode-twiddling colleagues at io9 rescued her from porn obscurity and bought her to our attention. (Hey, can we help it if we were still getting hooked on phonics when the movie was originally released?) In this bonus excerpt from the film, watch in amazement as Desiree-as-Randy is subject to the relentless probings of a proto-FuckingMachine-like device while the divine Juliet "Aunt Peg" Anderson cackles maniacally in the background. It's almost enough for us to track down the torrent file ourselves for the unavailable-on-DVD movie so we can see how the whole thing turns out! (Unless someone out there has a Betamax copy they'd like to lend us?)

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· "Randy" (1980) aka "Randy The Electric Lady" (imdb.com)
· Desiree Cousteau DVDs @ Adult DVD Empire (adultdvdempire.com)
· "The Orgasm That Blew Up A Computer [Very NSFW]" (io9.com)

XXX Trek: Even The Klingons Are Afraid

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 07 May 2008 12:30:29 EDT

A "Where no porn has gone before!" joke seems like the perfect headline for this post, but then we realized that there might be a reason why some things remain unexplored. Star Trek-inspired porn is, of course, not that novel, but we're a little confused by this odd comic book/sci-fi/porn hybrid: is it some kind of manga, a DVD, a film with with paint by numbers colors scribbled over the participants, or just some bizarre alien technology we've yet to discover? (One thing we do know is that despite whatever you may be thinking, it is not Japanese.) So what exactly will you face if you board the U.S.S. Intercourse? Bad puns, grammatical errors, and a thirst for space travel—but you'll need a tricorder and a valid credit card to figure out the rest.

· XXX Trek (kbeech.com, via candycrash.com)

Flying High With "The Beast In Space"

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:30:47 EDT

Earlier this week we teased you with highlights from the 1980 Italian sci-fi epic "The Beast In Space"—and if you're still engorged with anticipation, we've got a more in-depth look at this classic "Star Wars"-inspired fairytale. So grab a glass of Uranus milk (hee, hee) and take a trip to the stars, where stylish vests and angry robots await ...

The film stars Sirpa Lane—who played the Beauty to the original French "Beast" that "inspired" this one—and Vassilli Karis as a Lando Calrissian-esque space rogue with a knack for bar fights and bedding hot women. The two hook up one night after he beats up a rival suitor and once the steamy deed is done, she recounts her recurring nightmare of being attacked in the woods by a bearded dude with a snazzy embroidered vest. This is what is called "foreshadowing."

Soon after, Capt. Larry Madison (yes, that's his futuristic space name) realizes that the man he beat up the night before was in possession of a rare metal called Antalium, which is used by the military for its neutron weapons and that said metal came from the mysterious uncharted planet Lorigon. Quickly, the new loverbirds are off to the races to conquer the planet and secure all this precious material for the their ownselves. Yay, imperialism!

It should be said that for a low-budget futuristic adventure pic, this film is much better than it has any right to be. The story actually honors a lot of standard sci-fi conventions and shows a shocking amount of scientific literacy. Terms like "gyroscopic stabilizers" get thrown around (correctly!) and the script actually knows the proper ratio of oxygen needed in the atmosphere to sustain human life. To a true nerd, such details are impressive. If it had even half the budget of a LucasFilm production (instead of what we are guessing was about 1/1000th), this could have been a respectable mainstream picture.

Minus the stock footage of horses fucking, of course. Seriously, why does every 1970s Eurotrash flick have a scene where humans get turned on by catching two horses doing it?. It's such a cliche of the genre—even if it is on another planet.

Once on Longion, they quickly discover that it is ruled by a sadistic robot that hordes all the Antalium for itself and pays the planet back by keeping its citizens in a THX-like mind control haze. The good news is that no one ages and there's lots of free food ... so why not just start humping? That's exactly what happens for the next 35 minutes or so as various pairings roll around in the grass making sweet, sweet love—until Lane realizes she's paired off with ... beaded vest guy! And he's got more than just beads hiding underneath his robes! It's the Beast ... in space!

We don't want to spoil all the fun for you, but you can imagine where this is headed. Groovy mind trips, bestiality and ~~lightsaber~~ glowing plastic sword battles ensue. If you're buying this flick just for the sex scenes, you'll probably be disappointed. There aren't enough of them and they're too far apart for this movie to be considered a true raunchy romp, but if you like your "so bad, it's good" movie nights to have a little extra spice, it is a fun ride.

Soon to be re-released by Severin Films, the DVD will be available in two versions, an NC-17 level grope fest (full-frontal softcore only) and an "uncut" XXX-version, although it seems pretty clear that the brief hardcore action was inserted after the fact using replacement actors and extreme closeups. (Although, the Beast himself certainly benefits from a little extra endowment and there is a deleted scene of his Beast-like climax.) If only George Lucas had been inspired by "Deep Throat," instead of the other way around, just imagine the movie we could have had.

· Buy: "The Beast in Space": XXX Version or Unrated Version (severin-films.com)

Beware Of "The Beast In Space!"

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:29:34 EDT

In 1975, European movie audiences were enthralled by "The Beast," an erotic horror film about a young woman ravished by a mysterious cloven footed manimal. Then a few years later, "Star Wars" came out and someone had the genius-level brainstorm, "What if The Beast ... was in space?" That's how you end up with this sci-fi erotic adventure, just re-released on DVD by Severin Films (the fine folks who brought you "Malabimba" and "The Sister of Ursula.") We'll have a full review of the film for you soon, but for now here's a little taste of what happens when Italian "spaghetti sci-fi" meets lurid French hardcore. With evil, mineral-hoarding robots!

· The Beast in Space (XXX Version) (severin-films.com)

Star Trek O-Faces: Where Lots Of Men (And Women) Have Come Before

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:20:40 EST

Say what you want about the Star Trek franchise and the people who endlessly obsess over its every detail—the original show and its myriad spinoffs are some of the filthiest television to ever find its way into your family room. Don't believe us? Check out the evidence compiled in the most convincing manner imaginable—a YouTube video! The people and aliens and even androids in that world are constantly getting busy before your very eyes ... and if that's not a utopian vision of the future, we don't know what is.

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· Star Trek Orgasms (YouTube, via flabber.nl)

Previously: "Klingon Sex Manual", Orion Slave Girls, Sexy Trekkies, Naked Klingon Women

Porn of the (Late 70's) Moment: "Sex Trek"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 09 May 2007 22:15:18 EDT

When is a porn title that should have come out, at the latest, in 1979 worth your consideration? Because Vicky Vette is in it. The LutefiskMILF evens the odds of a movie that describes itself thusly:

Space, where no man has cum b4. This is the voyage of five galaxy sluts whose mission is to boldly take over all Earth-men lured by the powers of femininity. This crew of minions doesn't stand a chance escaping the sheer seduction from these bombastic babes. Join them on their galactic tour of mind-blowing cock explosions, and be launched into climax when you witness your favorite beauty get fucked out of this world.

Remember the Prime Directive, Ensign Fleshbot: In space, no one can hear your mind-blowing cock explosions. - GP

· Buy "Sex Trek" (gamelink.com)
· Platinum Blue (platinumblueproductions.com)
· Vicky Vette (official site @ vickyathome.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive