January
We made our way to AVN... we laughed, we cried, we watched the Abby Winters girls make out.
Shay Laren bowled... in the nude!
British schoolchildren were somehow corrupted by seeing their teacher in a sexy ad.
Basshunter featured a former pornstar in his video... and was inspired to make some porn of his own.

February
Oh god, no—shield your eyes, it's the Gene Simmons sex tape.
Lindsay Lohan got nude. But it was art, so it was okay.
Sammy Braddy also got nude. It wasn't art, but that was more than okay.

March
Eliot Spitzer was outed as a john. Then we found out his call girl was a former girl gone wild. Then there was that sex tape that wasn't actually her. Ah, memories.
And speaking of sex tapes—remember those alleged Kristin Davis photos? And all those other dubious celebrity sex tapes?
In any case—you can't go wrong with "Cheerleaders."

April
OMG Dita Von Teese was a pornstar!
Stoya was totally "Video Nasty."
Did Marilyn Monroe have a sex tape? (Probably not.)
And Tristan helped us find the gspot.

May
Indiana Carolina Jones got down and dirty.
Daphne Rosen impressed us with her boobs. And the rest of her, too!
Would you like to have sex? Do you need to know how to do everything? Boy, do we have the book for you.
Sasha Grey: more than just a pretty face.

June
Genesis announced the 100 Hottest Pornstars. Most of you disagreed with them.
Pornstars will do many things.... but you probably shouldn't ask them to act.
Everyone loves a freckled girl (and our first ever Fleshbot Request!)

July
You know what Jesse Jane is? If you guessed sexy hot, you are so right.
Aussie pop star Jess Origliasso took her top off...
... and then Australia found out.

August
The Olympics happened. We ogled the athletes.
You know who else is sexy hot? Gabriella Fox.
And we sure do love it when celebrities take off their tops.

September
The Extreme Pornstar Showdown began, with Belladonna and Sasha Grey leading the charge.
Many celebrity nipples "slipped" out into the open.
And what better way to celebrate the Jewish New Year than with Jewish pornstars?

October
"Who's Nailin Paylin?" threatened to change life as we know it.
We said goodbye to John D.—and then to Dashiell, too. We're tearing up just thinking about it.
On the other hand... girls in their panties!

November
We elected a new leader—and an old one, too! All hail Stoya and Joanna Angel!
Can you believe Corrie Loftin posed naked? Cause, uh, we totally can.
Man, those celebrities sure like having sex. On tape, even.
Nothing says equality like a giant black cock in the face.

December
Stoya: our sexy hot extreme pornstar champion. (See why she's our Crush Object of the Year?)
We wrapped up a whole lot of things.
But there's no better way to close it all out than with a bunch of topless women skydiving.

"I'm lucky because I get to be me pretty much all the time," said Stoya from her home in Philadelphia, awaiting next week's trip to Las Vegas for the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo. "I came into the job being the person on the edge of the envelope, and I'm not doing anything too much different from who I am anyway."

Within that envelope are Jesse Jane and Riley Steele, each abundant and delightful in her own way but also more the Heartland's idea of pornic perfection.

Digital Playground took a bet when hiring Stoya to a three-to-five-year contract. She doesn't look like Jesse Jane or even like Sophia Santi, formerly the most exotic performer in DP's roster. Instead, she appeals to people like you.

We didn't even ask what she thought her appeal was because we have so many ideas of our own; we didn't want to embarrass the 22-year-old right out of her hoodie dress (well, we didn't want to achieve that by embarrassing her).

But she did offer some clues to the Ineffable. "You'll notice that it boils down to Science," she said. "Symmetrical features, and either you've got the baby-feeding boobs or the child-bearing hips; a cushiony ass."

Oh, Stoya. It couldn't be just that. She cuts the busk of her corsets with her own shears? She is most looking forward to reading "Ender in Exile" on her trip to Vegas? She counsels overzealous fans that she smells when she doesn't wash, too? She admits that her transition from cult porn fame to mainstream porn fame has been "ridiculously weird"?

We kind of know why we have a crush on you, Stoya, even if you don't, and maybe it's best that we keep it ambiguous. We shan't mention it again. But that warm feeling you get like when the Formics are defeated in the Bugger Wars? Well that feeling is us, Stoya. In your cushiony ass.

· Stoya (stoyaxxx.com)
· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Earning a place as one of the Crush Objects of the Year is an honor like no other, guaranteeing eternal career success and a lifetime of happiness (or at least ten minutes of joy and a year's worth of bragging rights). Who was fortunate enough to make the list this year? Read on to find out.

10.
Baby Sinead
What's the quickest way into the hearts of Team Fleshbot? Gratuitous self promotion—when it's accompanied by hot naked photos, that is. Just a few months ago, Sinead was a mere blip on our radar; now the budding young pornstar and photographer is a full-fledged Crush Object of the Year... and she owes it all to self promotion (well, that and her smart mouth and hot looks).

9.
Bree Olson
Bree may look sweet and innocent on the outside, but just a few minutes with her (or watching her) reveals that she's anything but. With her powerhouse performance, Bree steals the show in just about every film she's featured in—even when she's not the one with top billing.

8.
Shawna Lenee
This stunning young blond goddess won our hearts long before she made an appearance in "Pirates 2," lurking in the biz under several pseudonyms such as Kara Bare and Kara Minor when she had red hair. Over the last year, the growing body of work that this heartbreaker-in-training has compiled far exceeded our expectations. To top it all off, she's closed out 2008 by grasping the coveted title of Penthouse Pet of the Year runner up (and our hearts, too!).

7.
Sinnamon Love
Sinnamon first came to our attention with her fabulous turn in "Chemistry 4"—but she really won our hearts with her appearance on Tyra Banks's abominable "Porn Town" episode. In spite of Tyra, Sinnamon managed to hold her own and prove that making a living from your body does not mean you don't have a brain. Oh, and that cute little gap in her teeth is just to die for.

6.
Lacey Motherfuckin' Duvalle
We find Lacey Motherfuckin' Duvalle so inspiring, it almost makes us want to write an ode in her honor—but it seems that Charles Hamilton beat us to it. (Which is for the best, really—our ode would have been to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," and would have had way too much profanity to ever be played on the radio.).

5.Rosie Jones
Darling Rosie burst on to the lad mag scene this year as one of the hot new babes of 2008... and one of the best reasons to keep reading lad mags.

4.
Madison Scott
Watching this lithe young beauty devour cock is like watching an honest-to-God possession and wanting to beat off to it. This barely legal beauty exhibits the most rapacious sexual appetite we've ever seen—period! We expect to see more amazing scenes from her in 2009... which means it's definitely going to be a good year.

3.
Penny Flame
Penny's looks alone would be enough to make us fall for her—but it's her personality that's really won us over and rocketed her to the top of her list. With her wicked sense of humor, dedication to smart and sexy sex ed, and all around adorableness, Penny's Crush Object material in every possible way.

2.
Faye Reagan
Incredible breasts, milky white skin, freckles, red hair, and a burning lust that no amount of sex can extinguish all put this fresh faced darling (also known as Faye Valentine) in our sights for Crush Object. Our only regret? She no longer performs boy-girl scenes. At least we can always watch her previous work... and keep our fingers crossed for 2009. Right?

1.
Stoya
How can we sum up Stoya in a mere paragraph? We're pretty sure we can't. The newly elected Fleshbot Supreme Commandress/Extreme Pornstar Champion/2008 Crush Object of the Year is too wondrous to encapsulate in such a small space—we'll be back later with a more proper tribute to the girl of the year. (Image courtesy of Digital Playground.)

Fleshbot's Crush Object Hall of Fame:
2007's Crush Object Of The Year: Sasha Grey
2006's Crush Object Of The Year: Dana DeArmond
2005's Crush Object Of The Year: Joanna Angel

*****

Previously: Fleshbot's 2007 Crush Objects Of The Year, Fleshbot's 2006 Crush Objects Of The Year, Fleshbot's Top Ten Hotties of 2005

In a year of gubernatorial sex scandals, topless Aussie pop stars, Sarah Palin, and, yes, the (gasp!) Gene Simmons sex tape, what stories rose to the top? Read on to see (and, uh, watch out for Gene Simmons's tongue.

10) Postcards From Las Vegas: Abby Winters Lesbian Makeout Session

9) Flesh Flicks: Massage Training (You're Doing It Wrong)

8) Flesh Flicks: Smurf Me

7) Flesh Flicks: Blowjobs 101

6) Faster, Higher, Naked-er: 21 Nude Olympic Athletes

5) International House Of Porn Tapes: Top Ten Amateur Videos From Around The World

4) On The Set Of "Who's Nailin' Paylin?"

3) Real College Wrestling Jocks @ Fratmen.tv (No, Really!)

2) The Secret Life Of Jess Origliasso

1) Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"

So which weeks served up the hottest slices of erotic blog action? A quick look back reveals some of this year's hottest Sex Blog Roundups. Take care as you're reading through them, we don't want anyone to get burned.

10) Ladies With An Attitude

9) Super Soaked

8) Mister Right Now

7) The Golden Rule

6) What If?

5) How Fucking Romantic

4) Cock Allure

3) Thrills! Chills! Spills!

2) Working It Out

1) Olympic Sized Sex

*****

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive

Well, as with so many other things, it only took the tiniest bit of server voodoo (and just a smidgen of virgin sacrifice) to find out. Come next year, keep a look out for a whole new line of Flesh Flicks, featuring lots of blowjob lessons, public sex shenanigans, and, of course, lots of blue paint. That's what you guys really want, isn't it?

10) A Romp In The Park(ing Lot)

9) Everybody Back On The Bus!

8) The Art Of The Blowjob

7) Shop Til You Drop

6) Nautica Thorn Likes A Challenge

5) Happy Go Lucky

4) File This One Away For Later

3) Massage Training (You're Doing It Wrong)

2) Blowjobs 101

1) Smurf Me!

*****

Previously: Flesh Flicks Archive

Our highly scientific view counter has tabulated the results, and it's all become so clear. Look below to find out which video roundups were most beloved by the Fleshbot readership.

. . .

10) Top Ten Male Domination Sex Videos

9) Top Ten Nurse Sex Videos

8) Top Ten Rooftop Sex Videos

7) Top Ten Bad Babysitter Sex Videos

6) Top Ten Mile High Club Sex Videos

5) Top Ten Honeymoon Sex Videos

4) Top Ten POV Sex Videos

3) Top Ten Office Sex Videos

2) Higher Learning: Top Ten Classroom Sex Videos

1) Top Ten Amateur Videos From Around The World

*****

Previously: Top Ten Videos Archive

But, of course, there were some babes who found greater favor with the Fleshbot readership; below, we'd like to celebrate the most popular babes seen in Fleshbot this year.

10) Hanna And Teresa (Hanna's Honeypot)

9) Sienna (Hustler's College Girls)

8) Puma Swede (Suze.net)

7) Faye and Georgia (Beauty Is Divine)

6) Alena (New Nude City)

5) Naomi (Hegre-Art)

4) Anitta (In Focus Girls)

3) Nikky (Nikky's Dream)

2) Amber Rayne (Fucking Machines)

1) Regina & Geena (Sapphic Erotica)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

We've gone back through the vaults to piece together our ten most popular Fleshbot Requests. Now if only we could find a redheaded, freckled Asian Jew with curves that won't quit, small boobs with pale, inverted nipples, on a bike in her underwear. Everyone would be happy!

10) Small Boobs

9) Inverted nipples

8) Redheads

7) Curvy Girls

6) Girls In Panties

5) Asian

4) Pale Nipples

3) Girls on Bikes

2) Jewish Girls

1) Freckled Girls

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

After a year of furiously fapping, what toys have left the strongest impression? What toys do I never leave home without—and which are gaining dust in the back of my dresser drawer? Read on and find out:

10) The We-Vibe: Combining vibration with the sexin' always seems like a great idea—but for some reason, it never seems to work out quite right. Given the mechanics of sex, cock rings can't offer a continuous source of vibration—and for some reason, no one's thought of a better solution. Well, until the We-Vibe, that is. Though it may take some exploration to find out how it works best for you, it's a wonderful way to add a little extra bump to your bump and grind.

9) The Bo: But if you'd rather stick with a cock ring, we can offer no better choice than the Bo. Unlike its cheap, gummy rubber counterparts, Bo is made of sterilizable silicone, and comes with a rechargeable battery. Clearly, a cock ring for the future.

8) The Babeland Nubby G: The Nubby G was my first love, Babeland's phthalate free version provides the same wonderful thrills without the fear of toxic chemicals. Even better, it's cheap! **BEST BUY**

7) The Curve: Until I met the Curve, I thought I hated dildos. With it's beautiful, g-spotterific curves, this toy will have you singing its praises within minutes.

6) The Mia: Going on a trip, and worried someone will see you charging your vibe? The Mia can easily pass for a USB thumb drive... until you slip it between your legs. **BEST DISCREET TOY**

5) The Delight: With its delicious curves and many, many vibe patterns, this vibe most certainly is a delight—I just wish it had a simpler navigation system.

4) The Jollie: With it's massive girth and unwieldy appearance, the Jollie may not be for everyone. But if you manage to work it inside your parts, you may find yourself transported to a place you never even knew existed.

3) The Eleven: Sure, we don't all have $300 to spend on a dildo: but if you do, why not purchase a beautifully carved, 11 inch steel dildo? Think of it as an investment. **BEST LUXURY TOY**

2) The Gigi: Sleek, rechargeable, g-spot friendly, and with an adorable mod design, the Gigi's fun to look at, fun to use, and offers some of the best controls ever seen on a dildo.

1) The SaSi: With all the hype and advanced press, I expected to end up heavily disappointed by the SaSi—what vibe could possibly that good? Yet with its innovative design, the SaSi managed to impress even this jaded reviewer, landing it the top slot in this year's sex toy list.


Worst Toy Of 2008: G-Pilot: Whoever thought it was a great idea to make a small plastic shoehorn to guide the penis towards the gspot needs to take some anatomy lessons, stat.