Not only have teen girls taken over the 'nets, they've also taken over today's Flesh Flicks. These crazy youngsters will not stop on their path to world domination, unless it's to pleasure each other. In fact, these momentary distractions may be our only hope to escape their wrath, or else we'll just have to wait until they all turn 20—which these two ladies, of course, could not possibly have done yet. (If we say they're teens, they're teens; don't question it!)

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· "2 lesbo teens fuck" (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Should we be worried about the fact that when we saw a video titled "British Woman Gets Fuct (sic) in the Shitter" we didn't know whether that meant that she gets fucked in the ass or she gets fucked in a toilet. (Or maybe both?) In this case, it's the former—and very little of that, actually—but the simple fact that we had to think about it has us a little unsettled and we're not even sure why. Should we be worried that we've chosen a line of work in which the phrase "fuct in the shitter" can have multiple meanings? Or are we just disappointed that we've haven't seen a good anal sex in the bathroom video in awhile? Ok, we just re-read that last sentence and now we definitely have some concerns ...

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"British Woman Gets Fuct in the Shitter" (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The "hot girl stumbles on amorous couple and politely joins in" is a tried and true porn formula that never fails to disappoint. Still, it should be a little bit more of a challenge to talk a waitress into having sex with you in her section while she's on duty. We know porn script writers aren't the hardest working dudes in show business, but if an actress can ad lib a line about breaking the boss' plant, surely someone can concoct a better pickup line that this. Then again, maybe Audrey Bitoni is just that persuasive. If she said "Jump," we'd be the first to yell, "How high?"

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· Audrey Bitoni Threesome (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The great poet, mathematician, philosopher Omar Khayyam once wrote

Khayyam, who stitched the tents of science,
Has fallen in grief's furnace and been suddenly burned,
The shears of Fate have cut the tent ropes of his life,
And the broker of Hope has sold him for nothing!

We don't really know what any of that means, but we do know that "Khayyam" means "tent maker" so we think that if the Big O were alive to see his name honored the way is here, he would not feel so burned by grief's furnace and whatnot. At the very least, he'd be sporting a pretty solid tent pole, dontcha think?

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· Threesome in a tent! (xxxuploads.com)
· Omar Khayyám (wikipedia.org)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We try our best to understand foreign cultures (or at least their well-established sexual stereotypes), but the French continue to baffle us. We think it has something to do with that crazy language they speak. It doesn't make any sense! So how can we ever decipher the dramatic narrative of a clip like this? Clearly, the underdressed woman in this scene is upset about something and only two vaguely off-putting daddy-type figures can cheer her up. That much we've figured out. But what could be bothering her so much? A rental dispute? Lack of enthusiasm for her naughty maid career? Paris Hilton's jail sentence? If you happen to speak their bizarre alien tongue—or better yet, even if you don't—fill in the blanks of our imagination by putting your own theory in the comments. Sad French girls make us sad, and couldn't we all use a little cheering up?

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· french slut suck (xxxuploads.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Is it wrong to be jealous of inanimate objects? For starters, the "male" star of this clip comes equipped with a motorized tongue, which means no jaw strain and an inexhaustible supply of energy, at least until his batteries wear out. His rigid plastic anatomy means he doesn't ever suffer from any sort of performance problems (not that we ever do either, of course, but we've heard it can be a problem sometimes.) And if all that wasn't enough, he gets to spend several minutes being covered and smothered by the remarkably fit Desirae of Naughty At Home. The guy takes an awful lot of abuse and doesn't seem to feel a thing—and even his partner seems totally willing to do anything to make him happy. She does know he's a doll right?

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· Fuck with Puppy (XXXUploads)
· Naughty At Home (naughtyathome.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

As we said, our month-long wankfest is nearing its dramatic conclusion, so we're going to milk this sucker (so to speak) for all it's worth. Today we bring you the well-manicured stylings of babelog stalwart Alison Angel who takes you deep inside her world—and a surprisingly clean public restroom—to show you how she treats herself to a good time. Please keep any comments about "lending her a hand" to yourself. We'll handle the bad puns around here, thank you very much.

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· Masturbation WC with Cam (XXXUploads)
· Alison Angel (alisonangel.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

What is it with babysitters? Sure they take great care of your kids, but afterward they always have to take advantage of the poor, unsuspecting Dad. How many hard-working family men have been trying to make their way in the world, when some young siren in a plaid skirt comes along and screws him (literally!) out of some extra spending money? Can't a guy hire some decent domestic help without having to fuck it on the kitchen counter? He's just a helpless innocent who has been lured into a dangerous game by an opportunistic nanny. Or he's a dirty old man who knows exactly what he's doing and will try whatever it takes to score some hot young tail. Either way.

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· Dad does the sitter (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

No longer content to argue over such details as "Is it real or not?", the squirters of the world have given up trying to convince others that female ejaculation is legit and are now focused exclusively on distance. "How far can you go?" is replacing "Can you go at all?" as the mantra of the squirter. As you can see, some of them can go quite far, although we're not sure why you need a boxing ring for such a demonstration. The Guinness people are probably not on board with this yet, so all world records are currently unofficial, but it may be just a matter of time before squirting joins watermelon seed spitting and cow chip tossing in some bizarre 21st-century Olympic triathlon. Get your tickets now.

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· World Record Cum Squrter (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We hope that legend-in-her-own-right Janine Lindemulder doesn't feel slighted by her omission from our classic pornstar roster earlier today: she should definitely see it as compliment that we don't consider her old enough to be lumped in with those so-last-century superstars. (Even if she's starred with some of them herself.) Still, it's hard not to label this pre-comeback, pre-tattoo threeway scene a "classic" all on its own. We know that history will, of course, see fit to include her among the giants of the industry, but for now she'll just have to settle for being thought of as a junior member of the club. Take it from us, when they stop asking for ID, that's when you should be depressed.

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· Janine and Friends (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

We've been hearing a lot about how tough the real estate market is these days, what with all those sub-prime bankruptcy foreclosures or whatever (we haven't been listening that closely), but does Gianna Michaels really have to stoop to fucking her clients just make a sale? And is the porn business so slow, that Gianna had to get a real estate license and a second job to pay the bills? Maybe she should take up a more stable occupation, like blacksmith or skywriter. Of course, knowing her she'd probably end up finding a way to have sex on those jobs too. Like they say: It's not really work, if you love what you're doing.

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· Full Length, Big Tits At Work! (xxxuploads.com)
· Big Tits At Work (bigtitsatwork.com)

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Previously: 818 Movie Locations: Where The Magic Happens, Gianna's Magic Boobs, Flesh Flicks Archives

There are certain advantages to having sex with someone that has the flexibility of a world-class gymnast. Aside from the ability to go at it inside almost any closet, there's the fact that you can attempt every position you've ever dreamed of without hurting them in the process. However, after watching this particular girl shapeshift into any number interesting, but highly impractical scenarios, at a certain point it becomes obvious that she's just showing off. And who wants to have sex with someone who is constantly trying to show you up? Oh, wait ... that's exactly the kind of person you want to have sex with. There's nothing better than someone who likes to leave a good impression on you.

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· incredible gymnast (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Now this is what we think of when we think of bachelor parties. Well, fantasy bachelor parties anyway. In the real world, "stripper" rarely equals "hooker" and even though we've personally seen the hired help do some crazy things at the various stag fests we've attended, it almost never turns into an actual porn movie. However, a bunch of bored guys standing around in the background drinking beer and gabbing is totally accurate and adds a nice touch of authenticity to this scene. See, the only problem with real bachelor parties is that the guest lists are made up entirely of drunken horned up straight dudes ... and who wants to hang out with them anyway?

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· Bachelor Party Fuckfest (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Party Report: "Bachelor Party" Is Good, Clean Fun

We hope your dream involves watching extended scenes of two big breasted babes in the middle of a dirty threeway, because that's what you're about to get. Our dream? Surviving the rest of this Friday so that we can crawl into the age-defying hyperbaric chamber where we slumber each weekend, infusing our bodies with magic elixirs that purify our mind and our souls until we emerge on Monday morning ready to do battle for the forces of good porn. Also, we would like a pony. Hopefully, someone gets their wish granted.

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· My Dream! Full Length! (XXX Uploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

OK, we confess that this post make that earlier one look kinda silly. Photos of bendy girls are very nice, but it's hard for them to compete with a full-motion video of this chick shaking her acrobatic stuff. There's not much else we can say besides that she's very, um ... talented. If there was a circus somewhere that was only for children of certain adult ages, we think she'd make a great main attraction.

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· Nude Flexible (XXX Uploads)

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Previously: Nude Yoga: Get Bent (Into Shape), Flesh Flicks Archives

We hope no one feels we were being sexist during yesterday's in-class fuck session. We wouldn't want readers to get the impression that only female teachers give extra-curricular lessons to their students. Hot college girls want good grades too, and it's a well-known fact—in the Pornoverse anyway—that they'll do anything to get them. (Even if it takes a while to negotiate the transaction. Be patient.) Or is it really just that male teachers are just as slutty as male students are? The point is that no matter which gender you or your instructor happen to be, anybody can be inappropriate now then. Just make sure you have a classroom with sturdy desks.

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· Big tits at school (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

In a monumental disaster for lovers of free porn—in other words, everyone—online hooligans took down video sharing site XXXUploads over the weekend, resulting in the loss of all of their content. All the blowjobs and threeways and rabbit fucking clips ... gone. The site has already started work on the long, slow process of rebuilding its inventory, but thousands of dirty clips have forever been lost to the digital gods—and for us that means a good deal of our Flesh Flicks archives are now obsolete. We apologize for any broken videos you may encounter while trawling our archive, but try not to take your frustrations out on your poor laptop. The best thing you can do at this point is remain calm and keep sharing your own videos with the world—otherwise the hackers will have won. We'll never understand what kind of sick monster would take joy in robbing the world of porn, but we think there's a special place for them in interweb hell, where miscreants are forced to watch blinking text, click endless pop-up ads, and wait for bad MySpace layouts to load for all eternity.

· XXXUploads (xxxuploads.com)

As as a sign of solidarity, here's a lesbian sleepover to get the ball rolling again.

· Lesbian Sleepover

Upload More on the hackery @ : GhettoWebmaster.com"Online Jihad: Porn site hacked on Easter Sunday"

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

The eggs are all dyed and ready to hidden, the baskets are filled with candy, and you've got new plastic on all the furniture to accommodate the dozens of relatives you only see twice a year and don't really like that much anyway. However, you're not really ready for the holiday this weekend until you've gathered around the monitor for your seasonal dose of Easter Bunny porn. Spring is here—enjoy the holiday, pervs!

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· Happy Easter! (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives, Teddy Fuckers!

We hear that there's a lot of religious stuff going on this week (we're not really up on current events), so we thought today would be the right time for some good old-fashioned erotic blasphemy. Because really—no matter what deity you choose to bow down before, we can all appreciate a good old fashioned nuncentric orgy. You'd think a guy would have to be pretty charming to get three different nuns to break their vows at the same time, but even the most pious brides of Christ can't resist overdubbed dialogue and a snappy decorative vest. Also, living in a convent for that long kind of lowers your standards.

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· Nun Orgy Pt. 1 and Pt 2 (xxxuploads.com)

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Previously: Photos by JAM Montoya: Sacred Smut, Porn Saints, On The Set: "The Cumming of Jizzus", Nunsploitation!, DVD Review: "The New Neighbors" (Redux), Erotic Blasphemy: Vatican Pin-Ups, Nun Fetish Porn, Erotic Nuns, Flesh Flicks Archives

In the movies storytelling is everything. But don't ask us to explain the story of this clip, since it defies all efforts to quantify it. From the undecipherable accents to the God-like voiceover to the bemused bartender to the guy from the "mean streets of Encino" drinking orange juice in an empty tavern, this scene only makes sense in the world of porn. What we do know is that Katja Kassin goes from entrance stage left to enthusiastic, virtuoso blowjob in under 20 seconds—which if we didn't know better would appear to be some sort of record. If only the people from Guinness kept track of such things.

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· "A Day without whores-Katja Kassin" (XXXUploads)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives