· There are sports fans, and then there are people who really love sports. Some guys—like the one standing next to the cheerleader with the broken arm—make it easy to tell the difference. (Deadspin)

· While some might be shocked that Charlotte Church beat Kate Moss in a poll to determine the best celebrity figures, we think it all comes down to a matter of taste. Like, for example, deciding whether to have a couple of scoops of extra-rich vanilla ice cream versus two Tic Tacs for dessert. (hollywoodtuna.com + contactmusic.com)

· A reverend in Texas has condemned the Simpson sisters with the worst curse of all: saggy boobs. Even "The Dukes of Hazzard" wasn't that horrible a sin. (thesun.co.uk)

· We're disgusted that someone would ride his motorcycle through town wearing nothing but a football helmet. That's a such a clear violation of head safety laws. (570news.com)

· Innocent clubgoers in Las Vegas continue to be terrorized by the dreaded Paris Hilton assflap. Won't someone please think of the children? (Or at least anyone standing within eyeshot of Paris Hilton in clubs in Las Vegas.) (Defamer)

· Pity poor young men who find that all is not what it seems once the bra comes off. Life is full disappointments and sometimes you just have to learn that the hard way. (story w/Paris Hilton boob slideshow @ sky.com)

· A man in Iowa has to pay $14,000 (!) to his old neighbor for sitting in his house and staring at her ... naked. When did being creepy get so expensive? (whotv.com)

· Step One: Add a live web camera function to Xbox online gaming. Step Two: Find a way to block unwanted live web camera porn while playing Xbox games online. Is there anyone who didn't see that coming? (gamerscoreblog.com, via Kotaku)

· Today's Eastern European news story that sounds dubious but which we desperately wish was true: a Bulgarian woman's breast implants act as an airbag and save her life in a car crash. Er, it could happen! (iol.co.za)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

It wasn't very long after the invention of the first vibrating video game controller that someone first got the idea of incorporating it into their sexual activities. (We're guessing the actual elapsed time was about two seconds.) The history of these dual-use pleasure devices is long and distinguished, but our pixel-humping sibling site Kotaku may have stumbled on a new wrinkle in the genre, courtesy of Xbox 360's new Live Vision Camera. While chatting online with a fellow gamer, you can now use your controller to active the vibration feature on the controller of the person you're talking to. The implications of this may not be entirely clear to the non-gamers out there, so we'll spell it out for you: you can put this thing in your vagina and have a Microsoft employee jerk you off from Seattle. Welcome to the future.

· GC06: "Major Nelson Alludes To Exciting Masturbatory Functions of Vision Cam!" (Kotaku)
· "Xbox teledildonics from xbox, with live video chat" (tinynibbles.com)

Previously: "Sex in Video Games" @ SxSW, Sex Toy TechWatch: Je Joue Programmable Vibrator, Virtual Reality Sex Machine, Nintendo Revolution Sex Toy?, Sexercise Bike Mod, Xbox Vibrator Mod

· We always knew Sienna Miller was hot, but who knew she had such amazing artistic talents as well? (egotastic.com)

· What happens when a newspaper sends a reporter who probably expected to get laid by a hot porn babe while he was in Vegas to cover the AVN Awards? A condescending, cliché-ridden article about the adult industry like this one. (New York Times)

· Note to the BBC: Your reporters who claim they were "trapped by porn" while attempting to cover the Consumer Electronics show this weekend weren't lying. We had a hard time getting to the other side of those velvet ropes as well. (bbc.co.uk)

· And speaking of CES ... well, let's just say that the AVN Expo wasn't the only place in Vegas this weekend where the geek crowd got a chance to salivate over a little bit of T&A. (flickr.com - thanks Thomas)

· It's rare that we agree with anything a religous fundamentalist media watchdog group has to say, but their observations about Rita Cosby's ratings-grabbing tactics is sort of true—didn't we already notice that MSNBC is fast becoming the go-to channel for all your mainstream porn entertainment needs a few weeks ago? (aim.org)

· We also mentioned earlier today that PSP porn was very 2005 ... high-definition Xbox 360 porn is where it's at! (kotaku.com + xboxcircle.com)

· One more reason why Samuel Alito's confirmation hearings are making us squirm this week (and not in a good way): the Supreme Court nominee believes the government needs to take "additional efforts" to prevent access of internet porn by minors. (Confidential to Mr. Alito: We managed to find all the porn we wanted to in our tender years without once having to go to a store to buy it. We're just saying.) (broadcastingcable.com)

· Surely it's no surprise that a porn film "inspired" by Courtney Love would contain a "realer than real" scene of a man on the street getting splashed by the titular character's enema discharge several stories up? (Village Voice; more on Joe Gallant's "Killing Courtney Luv" here)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives