Our love of Joanna Angel and Tommy Pistol should be self-explanatory (though we're still a little miffed that Tommy stopped screwing on camera); and if you can't figure out why we like Jason Mewes, well, go rent "Clerks" (also, "Dogma."). We're still trying to figure out what the whole "dirty horror romance" thing means, but since it's a movie about sex workers, featuring a sex worker, that's also a horror film (and has boobs in it!)...we suspect we'll like it just fine.

· Breath of Hate starring Jason Mewes, and Me!! (xoxojoannaangel.com)

The film's description, direct from Tommy:

After setting out to research an unknown section of the great lakes in Michigan, four adventurous students find themselves battling crazed rednecks, and something lurking in the water that hasn't evolved in over 250 million years. This pre-historic parasitic monster has turned the once quintessential eco-system in this small town flat on it's back and all living creatures are soon finding themselves prey to it. Initially distracted by the good time they are having and the loss of their friend's brother in a sick and twisted unexplained accident only a month before they find themselves trapped in a gruesome situation as old as time itself- will they kill or be killed? They will discover that this evolution phenomenon is as deep and wide and dark as the great lake they came to research—if they survive.

The teaser trailer is above. We hear he's currently seeking funding—invest now, while you still can!

Especially when there's a bouncy castle in the mix. Anyone know where we can get one of those? Or, if that's too hard, anyone know how we can lure a pair of Lexis to our, ahem, private party? (Actually, come to think of it, we'd much prefer the two Lexis to a bouncy castle. Scratch that first request off our list.)

· Buy "The New Romantix" (babeland.com)
· Max Royale's "The New Romantix" (newromantix.com)

*****

Previously: "The New Romantix" Woos And Seduces Us

"Attack of the Staph Spider" tells the tale of a porn shoot that gets derailed when one of the lovely starlets gets bit by the mysterious and menacing staph spider during a smoke break. True, it's more of a short than a feature, and more horror than hardcore—but it's got enough girls and gore to both turn your stomach and titillate. Not that we'd expect less from Tommy Pistol or his stellar cast (which includes alt faves Daisy Sparks, Gia Paloma, and Eon McKai).

[Fair warning: when we say it's gross, we mean it's really pretty gross (a certain editrix could not sit through the entire video). But hey, if that's your thing, enjoy!]

· Attack of the Staph Spider!!! (blog.kanearmy.com)

Directed by Max Royale, "The New Romantix" falls into the category of docuporn. There's no plot, per se; instead, Max interviews his starlets, getting them to open up a bit about their lives, their pasts, and their sexual awakenings—and then films them acting out a little fantasy of their own (whether that's masturbating while listening to music, filming sex in the dark with an infrared camera, or having a threeway in a bouncy castle).

It's a simple, effective format, but one that's heavily reliant on the quality of the cast. Luckily, there's nothing to worry about in that department: "The New Romantix" showcases a stellar group of starlets, including newly minted Crush Object Ryan Keely, Fleshbot Supreme Commandress Joanna Angel, and the retired (and much missed) Lexi Bardot, all of whom are as delightful to listen to as they are to watch fucking.

The cast of "The New Romantix" is so magnificent, and each scene so unique, that it's difficult for us to pick a favorite scene or section—though if we had to, we'd give extra bonus points to the Lexi Belle/Lexi Bardot/Tommy Pistol bouncy castle threeway, simply for sheer creativity (and because we imagine that it's rather difficult to get your sex on in a bouncy castle).

All in all, there was really only one thing we would have changed about the production: the omnipresence of James Deen. Much as we adore the AVN Male Performer of the Year, seeing him again and again (in three out of seven scenes), was just a little much for our tastes, and we would have preferred to see a little more diversity in the way of male talent. (Though, come to think of it, that may be more commentary on the porn industry's male talent than on Mr. Royale's casting ability.)

Over the years, Babeland has given us many quality toys and many quality orgasms, and we're extremely excited to see them moving into the porn arena. If "The New Romantix" is any indication of what they'll be bringing to the table, they have a very bright future ahead of them—and, for that matter, so do we.

· Buy "The New Romantix" (babeland.com)
· "The New Romantix" (newromantix.com)
· Max Royale (maxroyale.com)

But make one they did: the cleverly named "Horat" (starring the one and only Tommy Pistol) is upon us—and none other than Popporn has taken it upon themselves to review it for us, with topless girls, boob fights, and, um, insightful commentary on all that "Horat" has to offer.

We're considering picking up copies of both movies and having a Borat/Horat marathon—who's with us on this one?

. . .

· New This Week: Horat (Pink Lotus) (popporn.com)

So we've decided to test your knowledge of male porn performers. Below the jump, we've assembled some action shots of the seven men who made the cut for our roundup; your task is to match the man to the cock shot by placing your guesses in the comments section. Get them all right and you could win your very own copy of the Cosmo Kama Sutra. Or bragging rights. Whichever makes you happier.

. . .

Pornstar #1:

Pornstar #2:

Pornstar #3:

Pornstar #4:

Pornstar #5:

Pornstar #6:

Pornstar #7:

The fine print: You must be over 18 to enter the contest, and you may submit only one entry per commenter account. Standard contest rules apply.

. . .

Tyler Knight

James Deen

Mr. Marcus

Dane Cross

Nat Turnher

Derrick Pierce

Tommy Pistol

See also:

· For The Girls
· Porn For Women: We Know You're Out There

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

Check out our exclusive preview gallery after the jump.

. . .

· "Not Another Porn Movie" (DVD info + trailer @ burningmerch.com)

Join us after the gap as America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram Ponante takes us through this year's Dirty Dozen ... in no particular order.

- - -

"Upload"
Sex Z Pictures

Of all this year's big budget award contenders, "Upload" took the most risks with some intense hardcore scenes and a bleak futureworld storyline that would be right at home on the Sci Fi channel (minus the intense hardcore scenes). We loved Julie Night and Sandra Romain and Kylie Ireland and Hillary Scott in this movie, but it was Eva Angelina who really made us believe a world in which federal employees have sex.
(Buy it here )

. . .

"Spunk'd"
6969 Productions

Director Justin Kane's first porn movie features Nick Manning in one of several scenery-chewing masterpiece performances this year, this time as Gashton Cootcher, host of a reality prank show that requires loads to be dropped on its celebrity foils. Silly and smart, "Spunk'd" features Penny Flame, Katie Morgan, and Aurora Snow among many others in this list's only independently-produced movie.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Naughty Flipside"
Naughty America

A vignette film presenting San Diego studio Naughty America's take on The Girls of Alternative Porn Casting, "Naughty Flipside" is an unabashedly fun porn movie that features a tapdancing Pinky Lee and some equally fancy footwork from Dana DeArmond. Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee have a hoedown with Tommy Pistol and Sasha Grey makes her first of many appearances on this list as a mopey teen.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Skin Trade"
Bad Seed

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Brian Surewood's head in Joe Gallant's peyote-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. If "The Dharma Bums" was about an acid trip sex/killing spree instead of whatever it was about, Joe Gallant would need to direct it. Until then, watch "The Skin Trade".
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Broken"
Teravision

Sasha Grey plays a mopey teen who blows off Dave Navarro's head in Dave Navarro's L.A.-porn about the dark side ("as a matter of fact, it's all dark") of sex for money. There is nothing fancy about this movie, which is nevertheless just a bit precious at times, but first-time director Navarro looks at the standard moody porn scene a different way and the movie benefits from it.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"InTERActive"
Hustler/Teravision

You carry on a secret affair with neglected mob housewife Tera Patrick and together you choose your own adventure. Shot over four years, "InTERActive" features cameos from Jessica Jaymes and Hillary Scott, but the big star is Tera, who brings to the screen an accessibility that her in-person fans know but that doesn't as often show up in her movies. More please.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Swallow My Children"
Loaded DIgital

Rob Rotten put together a gang of greasers, longhairs, and the homeless and paired them with a really delightful gang of badass punk girls for a blowjob vignette movie that for once features Sasha Grey as a non-mopey teen sans shotgun.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Ibiza Sex Party 2"
Private

I just flew in from Barcelona and I've paid a little extra for the hooker to smile at me every now and then, for Christ's sake. There's coke on my dick and house music playing - loud, I don't care how much this vacation is going to cost. This is that movie!
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Babysitters"
Digital Playground

Everything you might want from a Digital Playground movie is here, for a fifth of the price of "Pirates" (remember "Pirates"?) - and we don't mean "Babysitters" will cost you a fifth of the price of "Pirates", just that it cost Digital Playground a fifth of the price of "Pirates". This movie showed up when we expected to see "Pirates 2" but, frankly, we found this much more accessible and less fraught with high expectations, which means that it arrived without hype. "Babysitters" also has the largest amount - four - of Digital Playground's contract girls in 2007.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"Amy Fisher Caught on Tape"
Red Light District

Maybe in future iterations of Fleshbot's constantly-changing page layout we will get a sidebar. If so, this movie would be in its own category under "Best Celebrity Sex Tape". No great shakes as compared with other standard-issue porns, "Amy Fisher" is nevertheless hands down the best celebrity sex tape this year. Why? Well, there's sex in it, for one, and Fisher is the embodiment of the Long Island hot MILF aesthetic. Watching this movie you will say, "I could shoot Amy in the face - but not with bullets."
( Buy it here )

. . .


"The Pleasure Principle"
Wicked

Wicked has had a lot of expertly-directed, slickly packaged movies this year, including "Operation Desert Stormy" and "Coming Home", but Carmen Hart was adorable in this modest "It's OK to Enjoy Sex" movie for couples. Of all the contract girls, Hart is the most reminiscent of the groovy porn stars of antiquity, like Marilyn Chambers, Seka, and Christy Canyon.
( Buy it here )

. . .

"The Intern"
Lucas Entertainment

The second sidebar would be The Best (And Only) Gay Film Straight-Tagged Fleshbot Watched This Year. I have evidence that that people who watch a lot of gay porn liked this breezy comedy set in a New York gay studio too, and I performed due diligence by asking around if all gay-themed porn was as good as "The Intern", and was told that No, Breeder, It Is Not. So I lucked out. Buy this for your girlfriend, Girlfriend, and show her that you're not threatened by the size of Ben Andrews.
( Buy it here )

. . .

BAKER'S DOZEN:

"Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2"
JM Productions

Director Jim Powers narrates an often chilling backstage look at some of his sets with a combination of weariness and glee. While Powers usually directs rougher fare which you might expect to spawn breakdowns, tears, regret, and fights, his sardonic humor has a place in each porn company. This movie reminds us that for every high-gloss example of empowerment through porn, there are fifty times as many stories that confirm porn's detractors' worst suspicions.
( Buy it here )

Spice Networks, a filthy little division of Playboy, threw a party for the release of Zenova Braeden's "The Taunting" last night in Hollywood. On hand were star Lystra and the multitalented Aiden Starr, who served as costumer for the movie.

Lystra was made up (in the film) to look like Sadako from "Ringu" and she was so frightened by the poster that she said she was going to hang it facing the wall. Lystra is intriguing. Last time we met Lystra, she was in a cage.

Reenacting a scene from "Evil Head" were Gia Paloma and Tommy Pistol. "Your hair looks different," I observed. "I wore a wig!" she pointed out. Last time we met Gia, she was in a cage.

New Los Angeles residents Zak Sabbath and Mandy Morbid share a kiss by the candelabra. It's like I wasn't even there. "Hey John and Yoko, give peace a chance!"

* * * * *

Previously: Popshots Archive

· Evil Head (evilhead.com)
· Burning Angel (burningangel.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

See more after the gap.

- - -

"I delivered it last year," Gallant said, "but I don't know if it will ever be released."

Perhaps the world has moved away - if not past - the age of the sex newspaper, so we're not sure if Screw is still publishing, much less if it will press the DVDs to get this movie to the public at large or Gallant completists in particular. But "The Screw movie" has all the staples of what we have come to love and expect of Gallant 's ouevre, namely blowsy women peeing in catboxes and trysts in club bathrooms along with original music and "Sprockets"-worthy film collages.

This is Simone Valentino's first porn scene ever and the only one to feature a penis.

Club girl Tatiana Stone gets it on at NYC's late, lamented Club Apocalypse.

The delightful Olivia Saint in a pink wig. What is it about pink wigs that make people delightful?

Maybe Fleshbot readers can siphon a little from their Keeley Hazel fund to bring this movie to light lest it disappear forever (much like my own "Gram Ponante Presents Hesperia Goo Goblins by Gram Ponante with music by The Goblin").

· Joe Gallant on MySpace (myspace.com/blackmirrornyc)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

Read our review after the gap.

- - -

Hookin' Up

Studio: Silver Age Productions
Director: Porno Jim
Cast: Page Morgan, Riley Mason, Simone Valentino, Brina James, Tommy Pistol, Zak Sabbath, Kenny

Review by Gram Ponante

Page, playing Shiloh (each character in the movie is named after a different celebrity kid; there's Frances Bean, Kal El, Audio Science Jones and, of course, Apple) is off to a club to celebrate her 21st birthday. Boyfriend Audio Science Jones (Zak Sabbath) is off to Idaho to fight fires ("Audio Science Jones is a man of his word," he explains) and can't join her, so pal Apple (Riley Mason), is going to get her a boy toy for her party.

The party takes place at a Brooklyn club (entertainment provided by the excellent Project Jenny Project Jan) and we watch the throng pair off amidst the birthday festivities. First Apple hooks up with Frances Bean ("The Bi Apple"'s Simone Valentino) and then Tallulah (Brina Jones) hooks up with Magnus (Kenny).

It is a pleasure to see New York clubs and ratty apartments again, and especially pornic versions of them. We are not led astray with unrealistic situations save for, say, the length of the hookups. Hookups are all about getting someone's pants off as fast as you can. Maybe the cab ride cooled their ardor enough to guarantee a porn-scene-length hookup.

The greatest verisimilitude is achieved in the Tallulah/Magnus scene. He is a little creepy and perhaps she regrets the hookup halfway through. I spotted this because she didn't swallow. As he strokes her hair afterward and says what a "pleasurable" time he had with her, he asks for her phone number.

She says, "That's not a good idea," and leaves, probably thinking that he'd just bought that copy of "Global Reach" to impress the ladies with his multinational douchebaggery.

Another characteristic of the two hookups we've seen is that one partner always has to jet off someplace. This porn movie is more like a documentary.

Apple picks Kal El (Tommy Pistol) for Shiloh, and the three of them head back to Shiloh's apartment overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge with the trains running loudly nearby. "Hookin' Up" was probably not what Washington Roebling had in mind when he built that bridge, but he certainly would have liked to sink a caisson into Morgan and Mason. I'm just saying.

Morgan and Pistol are charming, and Mason is juicy. In a bonus scene, Pistol and Morgan fuck in a dingy elevator lobby, ready to be discovered, her party makeup running, the picture Norman Rockwell never painted.

"Hookin' Up" is a sexy, fun movie, believable as a snapshot of random trysts in 2006. What doesn;t work is the lighting, which is poor, and the fact that Audio Science is off fighting fires in December. I think he's lying. In fact, I don't think his name is really Audio Science.

· Buy "Hookin' Up" (hookinupthemovie.com)

This movie features my personal Power Station, Cream, and Damn Yankees of porn: a tasty cast in a series of scenes that progress literally from dark to light (or at least from brunettes to blondes) as well as back in time, to when porn was more often fun and less-often so goddamn serious.

Read our review of Naughty America's "Naughty Flipside 1" after the gap. - GP

- - -

Naughty Flipside 1

Studio: Naughty America
Director: Brett Brando
Cast: Sasha Grey, Satine Phoenix, Pinky Lee, Dana DeArmond, Adrianna Nicole, Lorelei Lee, Tommy Pistol

Review by: - GP

Director Brett Brando put together a sequence of vignettes with setups that are just a little more complex than other gonzo movies, each playing to the strengths and whimsies of the people performing them. I can't think of a recent movie that was better cast with people I like, or that seemed to target my personal tastes as well.

Further, the progression of scenes was particularly thoughtful, as we will see.

Sasha Grey is a mopey teen. She wakes up in her makeup in a squalid Hollywood apartment. Her dialogue sounds like a bad MySpace page. "Sunset Strip?" she grouses. "More like Sunset Drip."

At this point I was ready to fast forward, because there was nothing to suggest this wasn't another of the breed of self-important Sylvia Plath porn scenes that was only funny unintentionally.

But then a biker enters in a cloud of dry ice and fucks her "hungry pussy".

The sex itself was just what we would expect from the precociously dirty Sasha Grey, who knows the lingo and delivers it poutily, as is the current fashion. But the scene is just slightly wacky, and it is that intent that makes it fun to watch.

The first scene is also the darkest of the movie.

Next comes Satine Phoenix as a restaurant manager who is having trouble with the help. Before she can fire her insubordinate employee, however, he tells her that what she really needs is to be fucked.

Even though we know this to be universally true, from diners to the Vatican to the International Space Station, it still seems a little uncomfortable to hear it, like a hoary porn trope that is part of the shorthand but still off-putting and past its welcome. That changes when Phoenix pulls her handyman over the bar and takes control of the scene.

The third scene is the most surreal and, when I take advantage of my Constitutional right to create an adult awards show, I will nominate Pinky Lee as Best Actress for her portrayal of a showgirl who fucks someone else's fan. The scene is silly and bittersweet, and Lee actually tap dances.

Then Dana DeArmond intercepts the man who has been surreptitiously leaving mash notes at her door.

"I know you!" she says sweetly. "You're my boyfriend!" Indeed it is her boyfriend Daniel, and their chemistry is apparent. Both act like they feel lucky.

Finally, Adrianna Nicole and Lorelei Lee, two punky blondes who can get up to some real graphic nastiness in other movies, are seen here braiding each other's hair in a superbly kitschy pink bedroom when both realize they are dating the same guy.

They spring a trap for Tommy Pistol, who plays a Brooklyn doofus.

It's not as if this movie was directed to the hilt, or stage managed to the nth degree. It is instead often wonderfully sloppy and improvisational, and the players seem to be having a great time. This in turn makes me happy, because I like it when people enjoy their jobs. Because so much porn can seem negative, or not the zesty enterprise I think it should be, I realize that I am exactly the target audience for this sort of fun, bubbly movie.

"You cad," Lorelei Lee ad libs.

"Did you call me a cow?" asks Pistol, and Lee laughs out of character.

The three end in a menage a trois-cum-pillow fight, free of "Come fuck my hungry pussy" and super-serious lines of that ilk. The movie makes you wonder what the sixth scene might have been had there been time for one. Naughty Flipside is the feel-good movie of the summer!

(Also, if the guy from Prospero's Books had been in it, it would be the Gielgud movie of the summer.)

· Naughty Flipside (naughtyflipside.com)
· Buy "Naughty Flipside 1" (gamelink.com)

Previously: DVD Review Archive

Long after the entire Fleshbot editorial staff has retired to their rocking chairs on the front porch of the Shady Acres Rest Home for Superannuated Porn Bloggers, the indefatigable Debbie will still be cartwheeling and cock-gobbling her way into the hearts and underpants of smut fans as yet unborn. (And probably still doing it in Dallas, too—as much as we'd love to see her expand her franchise someday, "Debbie Does Dubuque" just doesn't have the same resonance as the original.) Fresh from her latest incarnation in Vivid's "Debbie Does Dallas ... Again", altporn wünderdude Eon McKai brings Debbie to the MySpace generation in the forthcoming "Debbie <3 Dallas", starring Cassidey in the title role and also featuring an all-star cast of Fleshbot faves including Charlotte Stokely, Dana DeArmond, Pixie Pearl, and Tommy Pistol. The DVD streets on August 9, but as a special treat we were able to grab some exclusive on-the-set shots by superstar lensmen Octavio "Winkytiki" Arizala and Dave Naz ... because we all know you can't have enough Debbie in your lives. Especially since she's going to outlive us all.

- - -

· Sneak Peek: Vivid Alt's "Debbie <3 Dallas" (Fleshbot Gallery)
· Vivid-Alt (vivid-alt.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Breaking: Debbie Still Doing Dallas, Porn Valley Dispatch: Debbie Dies (Dallas), Fleshbot Facials: Monique Alexander Returns From The Grave, Party Report: Debbie Does Manhattan, Fleshbot AltWatch^TM: Dana And Eon Do Charm City, Debbie Did Dallas: The Search For Bambi Woods

Like you, I have a little crush on Page Morgan, who is just six months younger than I am. She appears in New York deviant Porno Jim's movie "Hookin' Up," about an underground loft party (see? Crazy Brooklyn kids live in lofts underground!) gone horribly awry, if awry meant smothered in flesh and Ladyparts^TM.

Manhattan's MI-5 will host the pre-release party next Tuesday, May 22. The first 200 attendees will receive a goodie bag (being prepared now) and everyone is encouraged to "wear something sexy," which invalidates the movie's website's unfair attacks of L.A.-based porn—here, we don't need to be told to wear sexy things.

"Hookin' Up" also features loftmadel Riley Mason as well as Zak Sabbath and Tommy Pistol. - GP

· "Hookin' Up" (hookinupthemovie.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive