Fleshbot: straight, zooweekly

From Jobless To Topless To... Jobbed?

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:30:01 EDT

It's tough out there for the unemployed—but luckily for (some) of us, Zoo Magazine is doing it's part to help the unemployed hotties of the world find work...by publishing sexy photos of them.

Yes, it's true: in their new weekly feature "Gimme A Job!", Zoo helps girls like Nikki Friend and Sarah Arnold connect with potential employers—well, potential employers who read Zoo, anyway. Though we have our doubts about the efficacy of this plan (at least for finding work unrelated to topless modeling), at least we can now say that we read Zoo for the employment section.

· Unemployed Sutton girl Nikki Friend strips in Zoo to get a job (suttonguardian.co.uk)
· Sarah goes topless for Zoo Magazine's 'Gimme a Job' promotion (cambs24.co.uk)

Rebecca Loos Is Back!

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 10:30:00 EST

It's been years since we last heard the name Rebecca Loos (and even longer since we last saw her topless). But no matter, because the livestock-masturbating, Beckham-home-wrecking darling is back... and topless! Somehow, stalwart lad mag Zoo Weekly managed score an interview with the lovely Loos—and, somehow, managed to get her topless, too (we hear they can be very persuasive). Learn more about this enigmatic babe after the jump... and, of course, see more pictures of her topless.

. . .

· Rebecca Loos Topless for Zoo (2damnhot.com)

This Week In Totty: The Zoo 100 Hot List

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:00:00 EDT

It appears that the one goal of human existence is to put every known scientific fact into some sort of ordered list so that it can be easily digested in a magazine or blog post. When it comes to ranking the hotness of celebrity women, however, we need a list to keep track of all the lists. The latest comes from Zoo Weekly, which knows a little something about sexy women—although how their own favorites Keeley Hazell and Lucy Pinder ended up so far down on the ladder is a little baffling. We just hope it all gets sorted out soon so we can move on to ranking other things like pizza parlors and types of grape jelly.

· Zoo Hot List 100 (sexypix.thumblogger.com)

This Week In Lad Mags, Part I

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:29:00 EDT

Zoo Weekly has an exhaustive investigative report on the best new boobs in Britain—with "new" apparently meaning that they sprung forth fully formed from the nation's overworked boob mines. They even still have that new boob shine! (zootoday.com; also seen @ sexypix.thumblogger.com)

Gratuitous Wii Fit Nudity Of The Day: Emma Frain's Full-Body Topless Workout

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:10:46 EDT

Listen, people: Nintendo did not invent the Wii Fit and its technologically advanced balance board just so you could put ass-shaking videos (and more ass-shaking videos) on YouTube. You should also be making boob-shaking videos too! And doing it topless wouldn't hurt either. Zoo Weekly babe Emma Frain will show you how it's done, so pay close attention. Keeping your balance in these situations isn't easy.

. . .

· Emma Frain Wii Fit Topless (full video @ zootoday.com; bikini-fied version @ YouTube)

* * * * *

Previously: Shaking Your Ass With Wii Fit, Getting Wii Fit (A.K.A. More Ass Shaking) With Jo Garcia

Zoo Weekly has brought back the busty Sammie...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:05:11 EDT

Zoo Weekly has brought back the busty Sammie Pennington by popular demand. We demand that she becomes more popular ... now! (boobieblog.com)

This Week In Lad Mags

Jonnobot — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:35:37 EDT

This just in from the experts at Zoo Weekly: People who like looking at pictures of topless women often display a marked preference when it comes to boob size ... and Zoo wants to help you determine what yours is with this "funbag-packed gallery" of 129 pairs of covermodel boobs to inspect. We found out that we're happy with pretty much any size cup as long as it has some sort of letter attached to it. (Except the ones that have to be carted around in a wheelbarrow, 'cause that's just freaky.) (zootoday.com; that's the 30F Sam Cooke in the thumbnail, in case you were wondering)

Britain's 100 Best Real Boobs (Two At A Time)

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:18:08 EDT

We're not sure if anyone actually conducted the necessary physical examinations in order to verify the authenticity of these breasts, but we would certainly have liked to have had that job (take a number, right?) Alas, we'll just have to take Zoo Weekly's word for it, since they do have a good track record when it comes to these sorts of things—and until Microsoft develops that "Squeeze-O-Vision" technology we hear they're working on, you'll just have to rely on the ample visual evidence to make your own decision too.

· 100 Best Real Boobs (zootoday.com)

Meet Sammie Pennington, Zoo Weekly's latest...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 09:59:15 EST

Meet Sammie Pennington, Zoo Weekly's latest big-boobed British babe find. It's like they have a whole country full of these girls over there or something. (boobieblog.com)

We just entered March, but Zoo Weekly is...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:01:29 EST

We just entered March, but Zoo Weekly is ready to call the race for Britain's best behinds of 2008. Strangely enough, these girls also have some of the best fronts, but we suppose that's just a "coincidence." (ukceleb.net)

Louise Porter has scandalized Zoo Weekly...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:31:03 EST

Louise Porter has scandalized Zoo Weekly with her wanton disregard for shirts or bras. It's getting hard to publish a respectable lad mag these days without all these reality show babes stripping off on your pages. (boobieblog.com)

And while we're spending all this time with...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:39:34 EST

And while we're spending all this time with some of our tried-and-true crush objects today (sorry, this cold weather sorta makes us feel nostalgic), may we mention the fact that Keeley's back too? Well, sorta: she appears mostly clothed in the latest Zoo Weekly, but this recent dry spell of hers was so bad we'll take what we can get. (cameltap.com + zooweekly.co.uk)

Seren Gibson Is As Devoted To Her Boobs As We Are

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 13:32:53 EST

One sighting is special, two is a coincidence, but three is bona fide trend. We expected big things from Seren Gibson the moment we first saw her gracing Zoo Weekly's pages—well, big things other than the two obvious ones that have made her famous—and now that she's once again on the cover of that august lad mag it's official. Seren is now poised to join her slightly elder stateswomen in the big boob pantheon this is a typical British newsstand.

In addition to the dark hair, darker eyes and spectacular rack necessary to conquer the topless universe, this Welsh babe has got a little something else: Dedication. She may wish that those eyes got more attention (hey, we look at those too! Sometimes ...) she understands what's really at stake. "I've got a responsibility to these breasts," she says. "I can't let them down!" What a remarkable inspiration for us all.

· Seren Heaven! (more video + gallery @ zooweekly.co.uk; also seen @ boobieblog.com)

Previously: Sophie And Keeley And Lucy ... Oh My

Ok, Zoo Weekly is just toying with us now....

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:11:34 EDT

Ok, Zoo Weekly is just toying with us now. They've put all their Keeley Hazell content into one easy to digest package, which is just begging for us to turn our obsession into a full-blown mental disorder. Must ... not ... surrender ... oh, what the hell. (zooweekly.co.uk)

Keeley Hazell went back in time to win World...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 12:19:27 EDT

Keeley Hazell went back in time to win World War II with the sheer atomic power of her hotness. Never was so much owed by so many to just one pair of breasts. (boobieblog.com)

What Makes Girls Go "Nuts"?

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 15:18:20 EDT

The lad mag industry—a business that we're somewhat familiar with—gets a dressing down in the UK Daily Mail by a former Esquire editor named Rosie Boycott. (With a name like that, is it any surprise that she's pissed off about something?) The general thesis is that Nuts, Zoo Weekly, Maxim, Loaded, FHM, etc. are nothing but exploitative trash that marginalizes women and perpetuates negative attitudes toward them in young men ... but that maybe the women who willingly drop their bikinis to get a spot in the glossy pages are at least partly responsible.

We don't want to rehash the whole "stupid sluts/empowered women" debate here—you can read it yourself and make up your own mind, but we do take issue with one particular comment. She writes:

"No one - at the risk of looking oldfashioned and stuffy - is willing to stand up and question current behaviour.

Really? No one? Because from where we sit there's pretty much an entire industry devoted to doing just that. Hardly a day goes by that we don't stumble across someone who is wringing their hands over what MySpace, Girls Gone Wild, and beer commercials are doing to our youth. They may or may not have point, but if you can't hear them making it then you clearly aren't listening.

· "Women blame lads' mags for sexual exploitation - yet are they are just as guilty?" (dailymail.co.uk)
· Related: "Feeling Sexually-Objectified? It Could Be Your Own Damn Fault" (Jezebel)

Calendar Watch 2008: Keeley Hazell Doubles Down

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 13:51:06 EDT

After dominating our internets for most of 2006, Keeley Hazell spent a good part of the '07 keeping a slightly lower profile—among, ahem, other things. But with calendar season arriving, it seems that she's poised to make even numbered years belong to her by putting not one, but two 2008 calendars into production. She explains it thusly ...

We received a complaint from a mum last year. She'd bought her son the calendar as a present and was, um, a bit shocked by all the nudity! So we refunded her the money and decided that this year we'd have a "family one" without nudity and another, naughty one for the fans.

Aside from hearing from the greatest mom ever, it seems Keeley is willing to bend space and time to give us two years worth of boobage in just 12 months, and maybe put all those measly one calendar broads in their place. These "family friendly" snaps will tide us over for now, but consider our breath held for the adult-only days.

· "Nice" 2008 Calendar in Zoo Weekly (bastardly.com)
· Keeley's Back With a Bang (zooweekly.co.uk)

Previously: 2007 Calendar Watch: Keeley!

You're not going to believe this, but Zoo...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 11:41:49 EDT

You're not going to believe this, but Zoo Weekly has found yet another Big Brother contestant to take her clothes off for their photographers. (This one is named Emma ... something.) Does anyone ever do anything else on that show besides get naked? (totallynsfw.com)

According to Zoo Weekly (and they would...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:33:17 EDT

According to Zoo Weekly (and they would know best), Louise Cliffe has "Manchester's most majestic boobs." We doubt that anyone who lives there would care to argue, but if they do, we'll be happy to judge that debate. (zooweekly.co.uk)

The indefatigable folks at Zoo Weekly bring...

Fleshbot — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 11:20:44 EDT

The indefatigable folks at Zoo Weekly bring you 50 Hot Girls In Thongs in their latest issue. We guess they had to come up with something to go with all those wet t-shirts from last week. (2damnhot.com)