In a perfect world, we would all be judged by our actions, compassionately chastised for our shortcomings, and then sentenced to hours upon hours of hard sex with amazing strangers for our transgressions. In the land Eric Everhard inhabits, that very scenario springs to life daily, like some perverted cartoon from the depths of his twisted imagination. In the penal system that enforces the rule of law in this alternate universe, you have the right to shriek in pleasure while getting drilled deeper and harder than you imagined was humanly possible, the right to have people take turns on you—and cost is never a consideration for this type of representation. It truly is a utopia, sans soma—but with girls this cute and willing, we can turn a blind eye just like Lady Justice.

Mya Luanna, Tanya James, Dakoda Brookes, Jackie Cross, Kitty Bella, and Scarlett Dreamz may only be suspect until Everhard judges their prurience, but the evidence mounted against them makes Blagojevich look like a curiously coiffed Boy Scout selling uncut cocaine to get to the Jamboree. Scene after delightful scene of dirtiness plays out with fantastic results (for us at least).

Eric judiciously weighs the merits of their cases, leaving no orifice unmolested in his vigilant pursuit—and we applaud him for that, especially after watching the luscious blond cum guzzler Tanya James take the fucking of her life. We're pretty sure she's as filthy, if not filthier than, the rest. (Oh, and since we're never actually told, we'll have to assume that they are guilty.)

"Innocent Until Proven Filthy 5" releases this week from Jules Jordan Video & Eric Everhard. It is not meant to replace actual legal consul.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Brad Armstrong finds himself embroiled in a sadistic sexual game in the seedy underbelly of grimy Los Angeles after a wild night on the town ends with a scorching one night stand. Which sounds exactly like our idea of a great weekend, to be perfectly honest!

Wicked Pictures contract starlets Kaylani Lei, Alektra Blue, and Mikayla Mendez guide us through the myriad of twists and turns, enlisting the help of luscious seductresses Tori Black, Bridgette B, and drop dead gorgeous blond daydream Tanya James, who recently returned from a self-imposed hiatus and graduated from only doing girls to riding some of the biggest cocks the business could throw her way. (Seriously, watching her screw is like watching a wizard spin straw into gold.) Sadly, she only works with Bridgette B for Clousot, although the results are still as mesmerizing. Scrawled down the side of Miss B (who, rumor has it, took her name as an homage to Bridgette Bardot) are the words "Jalousie et Une Maladie" which loosely translates from French to English as "Jealousy is a Sickness." We're not sure whether the tattoo had anything to do with her casting, but we couldn't agree more.

"Last Call" comes out next week from Wicked Pictures.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)