. . .

Why "Roller Dollz" (which I have seen) is as good as, if not better than, "Pirates 2", (which I have not yet seen):

1. The stakes aren't as high. While "Roller Dollz" is a bigger-than-usual production, comprising two DVDs and employing the financial, creative, and boobular resources of two porn companies (Adam & Eve and Zero Tolerance) it, like most other porn movies, was written, produced, and released in less than three months whereas "Pirates 2" has been advertised for more than two years and is reputed to cost upwards of $500,000, most of which will go to special effects shots. In the end, both are just porn movies. Worse, there is no way that the effects on "Pirates 2" will look half as good as the effects fans expect from the least Hollywood escapist movie, nor will the acting or script be above reproach. When a porn movie positions itself to be like a mainstream movie, it invites comparison. "Roller Dollz" doesn't say it is anything other than a porn movie, and therefore more than meets my expectations.

2. It's got Sunny Lane in it.

A movie about the lives and loves of rival roller derby gangs, "Roller Dollz" delivers the flesh spectacularly, on wheels no less. Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Ava Rose, Courtney Cummz, Penny Flame, Teagan, Eva Angelina, Alektra Blue, and Lane look great when shimmying out of their pads and blades, and just as often leave them on.

Don't get me wrong - there is a plot, but I would be doing you a disservice as well as a disservice to the memory of a delightful sex film by trying to describe it. It's unimportant. And it doesn't get in the way of the reason anyone would watch this movie in the first place, which I think in this unfortunate age of vying for porn awards shows remarkable restraint.

All the big stars (Kross and Olson in particular) look lovely and are given lots of screen time, but it is Lane who reminds us that there is a reason she has stayed famous in the adult business for longer than the average starlet's career expectancy.

With plenty of outside shots of millennial Malibu and the joy of watching eight girls in a rollergangbang on a Glendale parquet floor, "Roller Dollz" will drain your ball bearings.

- Review by Gram Ponante

. . .

RollerDollz
Studio: Adam & Eve and Zero Tolerance
Director: James Avalon
Cast: Bree Olson, Kayden Kross, Sunny Lane, Ava Rose, Penny Flame, Alektra Blue, Tommy Gunn, Teagan, Courtney Cummz, Eva Angelina

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)
· Buy "Roller Dollz" (gamelink.com)

Life in the trenches of an obscure non-Olympic sport isn't easy. The pay is lousy (if it even exists at all) and even though you're an attractive, athletic girl no one in New Zealand really cares about inline speed skating. So how do you raise the profile of your sport and yourself, and maybe score a couple new sponsors in the process? A nude photo shoot, of course! That's the way 19-year-old Kiwi Nicole Begg thinks—and, lo and behold, we are now aware that she is a world champion inline speed skater. We are also now aware that inline speed skating has world champions and that they are quite physically fit. Unfortunately, the photos aren't as scandalous as we generally prefer around these parts, but inline skater porn isn't exactly easy to come by these days. Of course, that could all change once the Olympic committee sees these pictures. Whatever happens in Beijing in 2008, we'll be ready.

· Nicole Begg Photos (speedsk8rs.com)
· "Skater hopes racy pics are noticed" (stuff.co.nz)

Previously: Model Boxing With Naureen Zaim, More Car Show Bikini Girls: NOPI Dallas 2007, Topless Sports Update: Naked Ladies Golf Day, Flesh Flicks Classic Edition: Naked Romanian Gymnasts Forever!, NYC Amateur Female Jello Wrestling, Beyonc Rocks The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, NBA All-Star Dance Team, NFL Cheerleader Megagallery