Fleshbot: straight, shane diesel

You Must Be At Least This Slutty 2 Ride Shane Diesel

DCypher — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Amber Sky, Petra Davis, Bailey Brooks, Kaci Starr, and Katie Angel risk sexual trauma only vaginaplasty could repair for cheap thrills on the legendary cock of Shane Diesel in Digital Sin's "I Can't Believe I Took the Whole Thing #19."

While we're sure it beats working as a hostess at Tony Roma's or babysitting, we're not sure these little ladies have thought through the consequences of their actions. Clearly, Shane is too big for a legal teen girl's snatch. He should be plowing experienced MILF's with that thing, or maybe Octomom, or Paris Hilton on a coke binge.

What we are getting at is that Shane Diesel is not "starter cock." No. He should come with a warning, the way hot coffee does, or a ladder at Walmart or those annoying signs at amusement parks. "You must be at least this slutty to ride Shane Diesel"—that might work.

Still you would never know these girls recently traded in their amateur status, given the way they take to the monster meat. There they go, cramming it enthusiastically into their tiny mouths and all the way up their drooling pink juice boxes. They waste no time, believe that, riding away until their eyes look like they will pop out of their little heads and they squirt hot nectar all over, marinating Shane's dusky balls. Come on, Shane. You know damn well no mortal man will ever please them like that again for the rest of their lives. You're condemning these blossoming young sexpots to a life of yearning for what they can never recreate.

Let's just hope their future husbands never see this movie. The rest of us, well, it's Friday, so, we're going to enjoy the foibles of their reckless youth.

"I Can't Believe I Took the Whole Thing #19" comes out this week. Go crazy. No, literally. Go. Crazy.

The Doctor Is In: "Scrubs - A XXX Parody"

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:00:00 EDT

We've been hotly anticipating the release of "Scrubs - A XXX Parody" for several months now—and from your comments, it seems that you have too. At long last, we can tell you if it was worth the wait.

Like all good porn parodies, "Scrubs XXX" closely mimics the look and feel of its inspiration, from copying the opening credits to copying the pacing, humor and jokes. As the trailer demonstrated, "Scrubs XXX" really gets "Scrubs"—always an admirable quality in a porno parody.

However, it's worth noting that anyone who's seen the trailer has pretty much seen the bulk of this porn's plot. To be fair, there are some good jokes and bits that don't make it in to the two minute reel—but if you're looking for an indepth story beyond a simple "J.D. gets everyone laid"... this is not the "Scrubs" porn parody for you.

If, on the other hand, you're looking for a porn parody that intersperses the feel of the show with a whole, whole lot of hot sex, then you've definitely met your match. The cast of "Scrubs XXX" performs just as well out of their scrubs as they do in them (wait, no: they perform even better when they're out of them). In particular, we were partial to the first and last sex scenes. Sex scene one has James Deen flashing back to his med school days, which apparently involved more in-hospital threeways (with the lovely Joanna Angel and Alexis Texas) than, um, actual studying; the final scene joins Deen, Ashlynn "Ellie" Brooke, and Kris "The Ted" Slater. Do we have a thing for James Deen? Or do we just like threeways? We'll let you decide that one.

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" is available through its sweet website. We suggest you buy two copies and call us in the morning.

Ashlynn Brooke

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Tori Black

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Tori Black and Jack Lawrence

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
James Deen and Ashlynn Brooke

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Kris Slater, Ashlynn Brooke, and James Deen

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Missy Stone

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Ralph Long

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Ralph Long and Missy Stone

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Thea Marie

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Shane Diesel

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Alexis Texas

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Joanna Angel

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)
Joanna Angel, Alexis Texas, and James Deen

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" (scrubsxxx.com)

“The Bigger The Better 3” Transforms Young Girl Vagina Right Before Your Eyes

DCypher — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:00:00 EDT

The secret to life, as the cast of "The Bigger The Better 3" has come to realize, is to love what you do and find pleasure in the simple things in life—like huge black cock!

Kayme Kai, Katrina Angel, Carmella Santiago, Audrey Elson, Hailey Young, Ashli Orion, Aliana Love, Aaliyah Jolie, Amina Sky, Alexa Benson, Joclyn Stone, Aurora Snow, and Leah Livingston probably have a lot more in common than they realize. For example, in addition to the fact that they're all young girls who have crossed the color line, and who openly enjoy being plowed wide open by ridiculously over sized black cock, they all also really like the color pink, and butterflies, and pedicures on Spa Day! (Okay, so maybe we can't confirm those last few details, but we have our suspicions.)

What we can say for sure, after watching them work with Boz and Shane, is that they really do love the black cock. That much is true. Clearly their experiences with these two well endowed gentlemen have changed them for life—and we're grateful to bear witness to that transformation. Things—and by "things" we mean their "vaginas"—will never be the same again.

"The Bigger The Better 3" releases later this week from Digital Sin. If this sneak peek gallery below doesn't convince you that you should own it, we're not sure what will. It is magnificent!

· Buy "The Bigger The Better 3" (gamelink.com)
· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

"Scrubs - A XXX Parody" Vs. "Scrubs": A Comparison

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 13:00:01 EST

After the success of "The Office - A XXX Parody," New Sensations decided to transform another hit TV show into a porn: "Scrubs - A XXX Parody" will be hitting the shelves in a few months.

And not only have they announced the production—they've also announced the cast list. So how do the pornstars match up to their mainstream doppelgangers?

Scrubs: Dr. Elliot Reid (Sarah Chalke)
XXX Scrubs: Ellie (Ashlynn Brooke)

Scrubs: Nurse Carla Espinosa (Judy Reyes)
XXX Scrubs: Marla (Thea Marie)

Scrubs: Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian (Zach Braff)
XXX Scrubs: DJ (James Deen)

Scrubs: Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk (Donald Faison)
XXX Scrubs: Dirk (Shane Diesel)

Scrubs:Dr. Percival "Perry" Ulysses Cox (John C. McGinley)
XXX Scrubs: Larry (Jack Lawrence)

Scrubs: The Janitor (Neil Flynn)
XXX Scrubs: The Janitor (Ralph Long)

Of course, "Scrubs" is a rather male-heavy show... and porn tends to be a lady-heavy enterprise (even when it's not a heavy lady enterprise). So what's an enterprising porn company to do? Why, just make up a bunch of female characters—or change men on the show into women! The following pornstresses listed on the cast list could not be automatically identified as having "Scrubs" counterparts:

Tina (Joanna Angel)

Vicki (Alexis Texas)

Jayden (Tori Black)

Shelly (Missy Stone)

But hey... all's well that ends in orgasm, right?

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Hospital Orgy via NS Honeys (nshoneys.com)

If Kanye West Were A Pornstar, What Kind Would He Be?

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:00:00 EST

In recent interview, Kanye West discussed the possibility of producing a softcore porno—and mentioned that he's not above performing in porn himself. So we're wondering: if Kanye were a pornstar, what kind would he be?

In the past, Kanye's options would have been limited: as a male pornstar, he would have been expected to fill one very specific role and stick to it (so to speak). But as porn has modernized and professionalized, a broader range of men are being accepted into the porn world, giving Kanye a plethora of role models to emulate (or hey, at least five!).

So let's take a look at some of his choices:

Evan Seinfeld: Evan was a rockstar, Kanye is a rockstar. Evan likes being the center of attention, Kanye likes being the center of attention. The similarities are numerous.

Nick Manning: Come on, you know you can see Kanye shouting "Dropping loads!"

James Deen: At 31, Kanye may be a little too old to compete with 22 year old Male Performer of the Year, but his love of the experimental and alternative culture might leave him with more in common with the alt hottie than the more traditional male pornstars.

Shane Diesel: We're unsure if Kanye could measure up Blackzilla, but we're sure he'd like us to think he can.

POV Pornstar: Could Kanye give up the spotlight to become a nameless cock? It seems unlikely—but so does Kanye doing porn.

· Kanye West Graduates to Porn? (avn.com)

We Can't Believe You Went There

DCypher — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:00:05 EST

Once in a generation there comes along a movie experience that's so real, so visceral, so compelling, that it fundamentally alters our views on some major social issue, changing our core values, and in the process righting inequality with a fiery dose of redemption. Cinema classics like "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington," "To Kill A Mockingbird," "Full Metal Jacket," and "Dr. Strangelove" all spring to mind as worthy examples.

In light of America’s recent election, and its historic shattering of racial barriers, we’d like to tell you that Shane Diesel’s latest Digital Sin release "I Can’t Believe I Took The Whole Thing 17" is the porno equivalent of such a title—righting social injustices and overturning negative stereotypes with his supernatural endowment—but that would be wrong. Very, very wrong. If anything, it’s more like the 17th volume of the porno version of King Kong... well, after Kong climbs down the Empire State Building and moves to Texas to settle down on a polygamist ranch with his barely legal white Mormon wives, that is.

Volume 17 features eager beauties Leenuh Rae, Kirra Lynne, Madaline, Leona Dulce, Daphne Flor, and Alyssa Dior riding Diesel in performances that play more at blackface revival than any sort of racial transcendence. Laying your massive black erection up and over the face of a pretty young white girl—literally—is one thing, but having your models feign terror or shock is another. We’re not suggesting that it’s not entertaining (far from it!), just that it plays to the prejudices of a certain crowd with the same effect of, say, speaking Geechee. (Though we’re pretty sure that was the general idea—to call a spade a spade, as it were. No pun intended.)

Admittedly, this is no "Do The Right Thing." It’s not even close to "Girl 6." Still, with over three hours of hard, throbbing goodness crammed tightly into this juicy little package, you’re sure to find something that helps liberate your inner demons, right? If this is what it takes for some of you to ease your racial tensions and finally let it all go, we understand.

"I Can’t Believe I Took The Whole Thing 17" hits the nation this week. Act accordingly.

· Digital Sin (digitalsinsations.com)

Ashlynn Brooke Explains It All For You

Lux Alptraum — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:45:00 EST

It seems we'll never get tired of "how to get into porn" advice pieces—well, at least not the advice in question comes from Ashlynn Brooke and Shane Diesel (they should know!). Ask Men sits these two down and takes a penetrating look at the many steps of getting into porn. Haha, we said penetrating. (askmen.com; thumbail from "All About Ashlynn 2")

Going Anal for Valentine's Day: It's What She Wants

Gram Ponante — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:33:14 EST

Leah visibly strains to achieve the heart-shaped ass required for Pink Visual's thoughtful Valentine's Day offering "MILFs Gone Anal 2," co-starring the mammoth-cocked Shane Diesel.

And you might remind your sweetie that no less of a date movie than "Gone with the Wind" shares the same word in its title. You can also point out that the boxcover defines a MILF as a slighty older slut, so she doesn't have to worry about feeling old and broken down until she's at least 25.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "MILFs Gone Anal 2" (gamelink.com)\