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Boyfriend Of The Future: The Emo Rocker Real Doll

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:30:01 EST

Ladies, are you tired of being loved—and left—by all your rockstar boyfriends? Real Doll has a solution for you: imagine your very own emo rocker boyfriend... one who will never, ever leave you.

Spotted at AEE, this rocker Real Doll is guaranteed to please—provided that "pleasing" requires little more than a solid, lifeless body with a cute look and absolutely no personality or musical talent. (Which, come to think of it, sounds a lot like many of the rockers we know...)

· Real Doll (realdoll.com)

The Future Of Sex (Toys): The Real Touch Robopussy

Lux Alptraum — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 16:00:00 EST

At AEE last year, the sex toy to watch out for was the Sasi. We may not have found any toys that could compete with the current queen of vibes—but we did discover a robopussy.

If we were going to be all technical about it, we'd tell you AEBN's Real Touch is a cyberdildonics device, one that responds to input from porn movies, mimicking the star's actions to make it feel like you—yes, you!—are actually receiving that blowjob from Sasha Grey. We'd also tell you that it's one of the most remarkable male sex toys we've ever seen—even without the porno interfacing. But the truth is, once we put our fingers inside its robo canal, and felt the ribbed lining massage our fingers (and the opening clamp around them from time to time), there was really only one thing we could possibly think: Holy shit, they've finally made a robopussy. Demo video above.

· Real Touch (realtouch.com)

Leave it to the French to turn owning a sex...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:30:08 EDT

Leave it to the French to turn owning a sex toy into a fashion statement. Even the perverts are classier over there. (theage.com.au)

Speaking of vibrators, when even stuffy old...

Lux Nightmare — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:09:04 EDT

Speaking of vibrators, when even stuffy old mainstream media outlets like MSNBC are pontificating on why are electric friends are so great (and why men shouldn't be threatened by them) you know they've finally come out from hiding in the dresser drawer. Don't forget the extra batteries, though. (msnbc.msn.com)

Vibrator Of The Year May Lack A Certain Buzz

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:52:54 EDT

We were not even aware that there was such thing as the Vibrator of the Year award, but the mysteriously named PriveCo Inc., has apparently been giving out this honor for some time and has now bestowed the 2007 crown upon something called the Tongue Dinger. At least one group of ladies we know was not impressed by this selection since, while the Dinger does technically vibrate, the Tongue is not included, which sort of defeats the whole purpose of having a battery-operated helper in the first place. We're sure that everyone out there has their own personal favorites, so we won't argue over the choices. Plus, we're still doing our own research on the matter and until the holiday shopping season begins the matter is far from closed.

· The Vibrator of the Year - 2007 (vibratoroftheyear.com)
· 'Vibrator Of The Year 2007' Winner Announced; We're Left Unsatisfied (Jezebel)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

If there's one thing we can count on from...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 12:06:22 EDT

If there's one thing we can count on from Slashdong's qDot, it's that if he has a machine and it can vibrate, chances are he's going to find a way to fuck it. That's the kind of devotion and ingenuity that made this country great. (slashdong.org)