It may come as no surprise that "Dancing with the Stars" is a worldwide franchise with spin-off's in different parts of the globe—but it was a hell of a shock to us. In fact, America has one of the lowest-rated versions of the show. Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brazil, Bulgaria, Chile, China, Croatia, The Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, India, Israel, Italy, Japan, Latvia, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Romania, Russia, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, and even Sweden have their own versions of the BBC owned show. Kinda puts it all into perspective, doesn't it? Not really? Okay, then.

Sin City decided to jump in to the porn parody pile with both feet...but wanted to add a little twist. That's where Sammy came in with more questions than Glenn Beck. What if they decided to cast pornstars in the series instead of C-List celebrities, rappers, and Playboy models that were once listed on Nikki's escort site?

Next, he cast the lovely and talented Kagney Linn Karter to play his lead role, Play Bunny Model from the Mansion Next Door, and the rest, well, was history. Kagney rides hard cock with a sexy little whine, stuffing her tight little pink fuck hole while her blonde hair sways back and forth. You had us at Kagney. It's easy to see why she's booked every day.

Then Sammy threw in a fresh dose of babes, including Madison James, Lana Violet, Shawna Lenee, Riley Evans, and MILF Ariella Ferrera. You know better than anyone how we all feel about sexy little Penthouse Pet Shawna Lenee. Newcomer Seth Gamble cracks open her perennially tight, bubble gum pink twat and gets the hottest chick in porn squirting and screaming his name in no time at all. Nice work, Seth.

Slater takes cracks at Twilight, Jack Ass, the judges, and the network itself, with better than average results. The show is both sexy and funny, a rare combination that's hard to pull off.

"Dancing with Porn Stars" streets this week from Sin City Films and Sammy Slater. Check out the exclusive gallery we got (because you absolutely cannot see it anywhere else) then cruise on over here and see the trailer.

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Cummin' At You 3D

Studio: Tommy Gunn Entertainment
Director: Tommy Gunn
Cast: Tommy Gunn, Sindee Jennings, Riley Evans, Tony DeSergio

Review by: Gram Ponante

Were this movie not 3D, it would still be an excellent interactive couples' title. The story is simple: Sindee Jennings wants to audition for producer Tommy Gunn's porn movie and, of course, she needs to be put through her paces. Along the way she is also tried out by Tony DeSergio and Riley Evans. (Almost) needless to say, she is rode hard and put away wet, as Ms. Jennings is a copious squirter.

But with 50 percent of the cast being Playgirl-friendly dudes, the interactive elements of "Cummin At You" leave plenty of room to see the guys from the females' point of view. To his credit, ladies, Tommy Gunn looks soulfully into your/Sindee Jennings's eyes as he eats you/Sindee Jennings out.

But what is truly revolutionary about this movie (which producers Gunn and Marcus London call a "preview of something even bigger") is that, either with the new breed of 3D-ready HDTVs or with the attached red/blue 3D glasses ("Or you can use the same glasses from the matinee of 'Up,'" Gunn said), you can experience the performers cumming—with whatever substance they have at their arousal—at you.

It's like "A Bug's Life 3D" at California Adventure except with the long-raging argument about whether female ejaculation is real or just urine.

I have had the opportunity ("pleasure" just isn't the most appropriate word) of Sindee Jennings squirting in my face in real life. But the virtual version is really cool. Not only that, but viewers get the illusion of the performers' ankles resting on their shoulders.

3D in mainstream movies is like parodies are to porn; some seem gimmicky and some exploit the genre in a suitable way. But 3D in porn just seems like the right way to go.

And it's worth mentioning that Gunn and company could have gotten this wrong in so many simple, porny ways, but they didn't.

"We knew we had to get Sindee," Gunn said.

Exactly. Because 3D is not about subtlety.

Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
Buy "Cummin' At You" (tlavideo.com)
Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
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Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
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Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
Buy "Cummin' At You" (tlavideo.com)
Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
Buy "Cummin' At You" (tlavideo.com)
Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
Buy "Cummin' At You" (tlavideo.com)
Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
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Pure Play (pureplaymedia.com)
Buy "Cummin' At You" (tlavideo.com)

Well, the cast of "Friends" may not have given in to our most perverse fantasies, but at least New Sensations gave us this relatively accurate recreation...looks like they're the ones who'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour and whatnot.

· "Friends: A XXX Parody" (friendsxxxmovie.com)

"We want booby-rockin' - not perfection."

The women in this movie don't so much jiggle as overflow, Carmen Hayes, like a lighter-skinned, larger-jugged Jada Fire, is the most evocative of a time when a young man's thoughts turned to National Geographic as the Gold Standard of Boobs, but even tiny Evie Delatosso does a hypnotic tassel dance without tassels.

Director Jim Malibu knows that boobs and nurses hover at just about cortical level in the minds of porn consumers, and he provides several gloriously gratuitous shots of each of the heroines jumping up and down, driving patients like Eric Swiss out of their minds before gently reeling them in clutched in their voluminous funbags.

Riley Evans is the covergirl and most porny - and anachronistic - of this collection, which also features the wonderfully sloppy Sara Stone and the just-booby-enough Allie Foster.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Building this City: "Welcome to Boobsville" (gramponante.com)
· Buy "Nurses of Boobsville" (gamelink.com)

Then again, maybe things work differently in Boobsville (though we gotta say...just the sight of Riley Evans's magnificent rack is making us feel more alive than we have in...hours, almost!).

· Buy "Nurses of Boobsville" (adameve.com)

I never learned what happened between Tony DeSergio, Oliver Sanchez and Evans on the set of Harmony Films' "Gazzman's Perfect Breasts" (director Gazzman, even though the breasts aren't actually his, at least has great taste in them; tomorrow he's shooting Aiden Starr), because I feared bursting into flame, but several things are certain:

1. Evans' breasts are great
2. The Tampa native even has great breasts when she's sitting down
3. One of Porn's many fantasy elements, I've just realized, must be fucking on the surface of the Sun

· Gazzman (myspace.com)

Carolyn Reese, Sierra Skye, Riley Evans, Brooke Banner, and Sara Stone join forces as a crime fighting team of big breasted, silicone-free, super ninja, cock craving ball drainers intent on ridding the world of semen, one slurp at a time.

When an evil syndicate of endowed criminal geniuses attempt destroy to capitalism by systematically replacing American pennies with Canadian ones, it's up to these quivering beauties to milk their ambitions clean out of them—and bring them to justice!

All right, so maybe we made that last part up. The truth is, there's no real plot. Just boobs, and big ones, too—the size of your head! Personally, we don't need any distractions from the jugs—but you be the judge.

"Big Natural Tits 3" is a brand spanking new release from Sin City. We get so thirsty just looking at 'em.

Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
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Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)

...as in, on the set of Axel Braun's epic Hustler release "This Ain't Happy Days XXX," released just last week. Seriously Flame, you will be missed. No one does it better than you, baby. We wish you well at whatever you choose to do—but you will always be our favorite li'l stoner pornstar.

A huge fan of the show, even as a young lad growing up in Italy, Braun wrote the masterpiece and directed it himself, centering the plot around Richie and the gang trying to learn from Fonzie the right stuff to score with the poodle skirts. Honestly, we never expected to see anyone other than Sam the Butcher giving Alice the meat, but Axel's imagination is as fertile as Octomom's womb.

"This Ain't Happy Days XXX" is out right now. It features an all-star cast, including Tori Black, Penny Flame, Missy Stone, Alan Stafford, Codi Carmichael, Riley Evans, Kris Slater, Jack Lawerence, Anthony Rosano, James Bartholet, Raquel Devine and the ever-cool stud Tommy Gunn as The Fonz. Be sure to pick up a copy—it's what The Fonz would want.

· Hustler (hustlervideo.com)

So Jennaration X Studios and Jules Jordan aren't technically releasing "Jenna Haze's Cum Spoiled Sluts" until next week, but what can we say? We're spoiled too—and we can't wait to share this unbelievable gallery of pix from the special edition double disc set with you now. Quite simply, it doesn't get much better than this, and—precedent be damned—we're not going to wait another week to brag. So if you wanna call us petulant or privileged, you go right ahead.

But we're pretty sure that after you see luscious award winning nymphomaniac Jenna Haze taking multiple powerful dicks down deep in her tiny wet holes—along with a near perfect cast that includes Bobbi Starr, Riley Evans, Nikki Rhodes, and Alyssa Hill—any objections to our access will melt away faster than cum dries. Oh, and did we mention that the movie is over 4 hours long? Seriously people, it's like Jenna's killing ants with a sledgehammer.

And as if getting her puckered pinkness pried open by two monster cum drooling meat missiles wasn't enough, Jenna then proceeds to fuck the hell out of red velvet she devil seductress heart breaker Nikki Rhodes before the two proceed to swap cock and cum. Point. Set. Match. Stick a fork in us—cause we're done! Well played, Miss Haze. Well played indeed.

"Jenna Haze's Cum Spoiled Sluts" releases on the 23rd. It may be touted as the 1st DVD release directed by and starring Jenna Haze, but we promise you, it won't be the last. Dear Buddha, this thing is ridiculously good.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Well, you didn't have to ask us twice for this one—we were more than happy to spend the afternoon combing through galleries of scantily clad students receiving important life lessons and discipline from their professors. And hey, if anyone wants to request a follow up gallery (say, of those naughty schoolgirls receiving some discipline)... we think we'll somehow find the ability to persevere and assemble that one, too.

Celina Cross (freedpxxx.com)

Jasmine Byrne (fearbucks.com)

Riley Evans (naughtybookwormpage.com)

Azumi Harusaki (japanav18.com)

Dizzee (punkgalleries.com)

Faye Reagan (twistys.com)

Destiny (pdgals.com)

Dakoda Brookes (naughtybookwormpage.com)

Maria Ozawa (tokyoteenies.com)

Vanesa (teentorrent.com)

*****

Previously: Fleshbot Requests Archive

For years we've been harangued by tech progressive prognosticators, who go on and on about how cutting edge porn is and how our inherent sexual perversions have always been early indicators pushing innovation to keep up with our hormones—or, as Masami Akita once posited from a Tokyo subway while making discarded manga into guilty art, how porno is the unconsciousness of culture, the libido of humanity.

The VCR, we are told, came into existence with high and mighty aspirations, but only survived long enough to babysit your children with Disney classics because of porn consumers. The same principle applies to the DVD player and now Blu-Ray, at least if we're to believe the lovable cast of "Tropic Thunder" (not to be confused with a Stormy Daniels movie).

So to all of you champions of the brave new technological world we ask this simple question—what the fuck? Why then are we still stuck with Point of View porn instead of being able to virtually diddle the porn starlet of our choice's holographic hoo-ha? Oh, and also, were the hell are those flying cars? But mostly, just what the fuck?

After a long hard day of crunching data for our benevolent multinational corporate masters, we'd like to teleport back to our domicile for a hot and sticky session with our favorite new pornstar; generally the most recent addition to the courtesan library with the sweetest simulated curves and longest drop down menu of fetishes. Can someone let us know when that will be possible?

Melissa Lauren, Bobbi Starr, Riley Evans, Emma Heart, Missy Stone, and Holly West take a not-so-virtual pounding in their flesh and blood anal cavities, respectively, with such relish one would think they were born for the job. Ah, but we know better than anyone (except Tweety) that the heart is deceitful above all things. For now it will have to do, this form of vicarious pleasure accrued through the projection of ego consciousness and pure fantasizing. In that regard, Everhard makes a worthy surrogate as our imaginary penis, even if he isn't two feet longer and black.

We still think that Eric and Jules should make postcards out of some of these shots that allow the end user to choose a customized message. Ours would say "Wish You Were Here."

:Anal POV 6" releases this week from Jules Jordan and Eric Everhard. Act accordingly.

· "Anal POV 6" (julesjordanvideo.com)

Director Mike John, who once brought worship back into porn with his "Praise the Load" series, has devoted much of his time and work to addressing these larger issues in society. Time and again John has shown selfless devotion to the greater good, jumping in with both feet where angels fear to tread. And once again, John finds himself at the forefront of one of society's most pressing concerns, compassionately spearheading the charge to help boob junkies finally get the help they so desperately need. That's why he created the Boobaholics Anonymous series - to help.

In his fourth and most inspiring installment to date, John brings in some titanic tit assistance from scrumptious angels Riley Evans, Whitney Stevens, Charley Chase, Cassandra Calogera, Erika Vution, and London Keys. Rates of recidivism may not leave us much room for hope for the boobaholics, but working together we can help expose this insidious illness and bring some much needed relief to those in need.

· "Boobaholics Anonymous 4" (julesjordanvideo.com)