Fleshbot: straight, pop

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Taco Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 12:30:01 EDT

The Motels ("Take the L out of 'lover' and it's 'over'") is my choice for Awfulest Band of the 80's, but it had a canon. Taco's lone hit was a cover.

I remember this very clearly: I was at the home of someone who is now a Facebook friend and we were bored, and both of us knew it. Suddenly he turned on the radio, muttering "Wonder if Taco has a new song. 'Puttin' on the Ritz' is awesome."

I hate Taco's version of "Puttin' on the Ritz" so much, and Taco for doing it, that I can't help thinking about it every time I encounter a similar metrical construction, such as this week's title. And, Dear Fleshbot Readers, this happens a lot more than you'd think. "For a wonderful time" it is not.

To refresh (shudder) your memory or create nightmares:

So your task this week is to banish my demons with your own parody version (text only, don't wear yourself out) of "Puttin' on the Ritz" using this week's gapetastic title. (And, parenthetically, big props to last week's winner.)

· Vouyer Media (vouyermedia.com)
· Buy "Diggin in the Gapes 2" (gamelink.com)

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? It's Not A Tumor Edition

Gram Ponante — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:10:04 EDT

You might as well face it: Rocco Siffredi is—and rightfully so—the world's most popular male porn star. But that does not mean his "Puppet Master" DVD doesn't look terrifying, what with the head of that Robert Palmer video girl growing like an abscess out of that crawly girl. And what does that picture have to do with puppets?

Please rename this porn movie in a fashion that fits with the box photo and you shall be praised on high next week in the same way that last week's winner was: in these five hyperlinked words.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Puppet Master" (gamelink.com)

Porn Vegas Dispatch: Our Car Is Warm & Dry, Tera Patrick

Gram Ponante — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:17:00 EST

We so like the idea of Tera Patrick as Honorary Mayoress of Las Vegas because she does things like hosts Super Bowl parties in a schoolgirl outfit. Patrick will be on hand at Sin City's sweatiest club, Body English at the Hard Rock, to celebrate the Patriots' victory this Sunday. Joining Patrick will be L.A. band Velvet Revolver. "No matter who wins the big game, we are going to have a blast," said a politic Patrick. Despite what the song says, please stand so close to us, Tera.

· Tera Patrick (terapatrick.com)
· Body English (bodyenglish.com)