Fleshbot: straight, plastic surgery

Have you always wanted a little piece of...

Lux Alptraum — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:50:53 EDT

Have you always wanted a little piece of Teagan Presley to call your own? Well, now you're in luck! Thanks to the magic of eBay, you can purchase her recently removed breast implants! Put them in your porn star museum—they'll look great right next to Baby Sinead's pubic hair. (nakedcity.com)

Sheyla Hershey holds the Guinness Book of...

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:57:54 EDT

Sheyla Hershey holds the Guinness Book of Brazilian World Records (whatever that means) for the largest chest (in the Brazilian World?) But that's not enough! She wants to up the size of her FFF cup implants, but can't find a doctor or legal code willing to pump that much silicone into her body. Not even in Texas! We thought they did everything bigger down there! (myfoxhouston.com)

And while we're mentioning porn star milestones...

Jonnobot — Mon, 05 May 2008 11:20:39 EDT

And while we're mentioning porn star milestones today, let's all give a nice warm welcome (not to mention a lingering glance) at Nikki Benz' new boobs, which we told you about a few weeks ago and are just now making their interweb debut in this pictorial for RealWifeStories.com with the always delightful Devon. Yeah, we know that not everyone's a fan of the whole hyperinflated boob thing, but look at it this way: now there's more of her to love! (porn-star.com)

Itemize Those Deductions, Maggot!

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:27:28 EDT

If you're like us, you'll be spending the weekend relaxing with your accountant as you finish your taxes at the last minute. If only we could employ the services of Seattle's "Tax Domme" Mistress Lori, who specializes in the unique tax situations faced by sex workers. Breast implants? Tax deductible! Hand lotions? Let's hope so! (thenaughtyamerican.com; see also TaxDomme.com)

A LA club is holding regular limbo and apple...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:23:07 EDT

A LA club is holding regular limbo and apple bobbing contests with a grand prize jackpot of free breast implants for the winners. Ok, so the people quoted in this story make us feel like they're setting the human race back about 60 years, but hey ... it's a video of hot chicks doing limbo! (latimes.com)

Meet Brazilian Carnival-slash-Plastic Surgery...

Jonnobot — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 11:44:00 EST

Meet Brazilian Carnival-slash-Plastic Surgery Queen Angela Bismarchi, who's just as famous for "accidentally" appearing naked in public as she is for having over 40 surgery procedures to enhance her looks over the years.(Which is probably why she keeps on appearing naked in public so often: if you spent that much money on yourself, you'd probably want to show it off as much as possible too. (NY Times; more @ angelabismarchi.com.br)

Mary Carey Shocker: Knocker Auction

Gram Ponante — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 23:59:11 EST

Because her town's sanitation department does not allow heavy item pickup, Mary Carey is ebaying the 36D implants recently tweezed from her chestal cavity and donating 90 percent of the proceeds to breast cancer research.

All right, Mary, but why?

"... Because my grandmother had breast cancer," Carey told noted gentlemen's magazine Reuters. Just so you don't think Carey has pulled a Jenna Jameson, the former California gubernatorial candidate just replaced the smaller models with 36DDD ones.

· "Porn star politician auctions breast implants" (reuters.co)
· Buy Mary Carey's breast implants (ebay.com)

Previously: Good Deeds Archive

Are Victoria Beckham's gravity defying boobs...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:00:29 EST

Are Victoria Beckham's gravity defying boobs defying a little less gravity than they used to? Maybe her husband needed to borrow them for soccer practice. (dailymail.co.uk)

Porn unfairly gets the blame for a lot of...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 14:33:32 EST

Porn unfairly gets the blame for a lot of things, but there's one trend for which it might have to plead guilty: the discomfiting rise of genital cosmetic surgery. We've said a million times that we love all you ladies (and your ladyparts) just the way you are, so if your crotch ends up looking like this don't say we didn't warn you. (thestar.com)

A plastic surgeon will present his formula...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 14:19:29 EDT

A plastic surgeon will present his formula for the perfect boob job at an international conference on breast enlargement. (Victoria Beckham = No.) There's an international conference on breast enlargements? We've spent just as many hours poring over photos of topless models as this guy, so where's our invite? (news.com.au)

Officials from the Royal Australian Navy...

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:44:27 EDT

Officials from the Royal Australian Navy are being called in to answer questions about their policy of taxpayer-funded breast enlargements for female sailors. We have some questions of our own and most of them can be answered with a few choice photographs. (telegraph.co.uk)

Ladies, we mean it when we say vaginal reconstruction...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:36:45 EDT

Ladies, we mean it when we say vaginal reconstruction surgery is not necessary and not worth it. Trust us, no one cares what it looks like ... as long as they get to see it often. (Consumerist)

CNN apparently discovers boob job benefactor...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 10:20:42 EDT

CNN apparently discovers boob job benefactor site MyFreeImplants.com ... and only about a year after the rest of the world already knew about it. Where do we pick up our "citizen journalist" badge? (10zenmonkeys.com)

Jesse Jane Upgrades Her Arsenal

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:58:29 EDT

Plastic surgery fans who fired up their DVRs this week to watch "Dr. 90210" on the E! channel may have been surprised to see the one and only Jesse Jane going under the knife of Beverly Hills' superstar breast doctor. Not that they'd ever fooled themselves into thinking she was 100% natural, but who would have guessed that there was anything wrong with the bongo set she'd already been given. It turns out that despite two previous enhancements—and the healthy career they supported—a little tuneup was needed to bring Jesse v.3.0 online. You can see the modestly-covered results above, but all will be revealed as soon as her next flick, "Naked Aces 2," hits the market. We'll be first in line, of course, just to make sure the surgeon did his job properly.

· "Jesse Jane Talks About Her New Boobs" (xfanz.com)
· "Jesse Jane Featured on 'Dr. 90210'" (avn.com)

Previously: We Don't Even Have Our iPhones Yet, But Jesse Jane Got Her "Juice" On Them, Gallery: Jesse Jane (And Friends) In "Jesse In Pink"

Women who get breast implants are three...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 10:20:53 EDT

Women who get breast implants are three times more likely to commit suicide (or is it vice versa?). It's times like these that you need the most support. (azcentral.com)

The World's Largest Breasts (That We Know Of)

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:20:37 EDT

Obviously, you can't turn a corner on the internet without running into a pair of gigantic breasts, but we're not talking about your standard big boob queens, like Lisa Sparxxx or Gianna Michaels here. We're talking BIG. Like Guinness Book of World Records big. Some are real, some (ok, most) are fake, but they're all huge and this handy scorecard will point you to the biggest bongos out there. Of course, all the ladies featured here have participated in porn at some level, because why else would you spring for 152MMM-size melons if you aren't going to use them for good—i.e., to smother people with. So take a deep breath and dive in.

· Livin' Large: The World's Largest Breasts (body-philosophy.net)
· Thumbnail: the late, great Lolo Ferrari (Wikipedia)

Previously: Gianna and Lisa Sparxxx Are Brutally Frank

Because we know you've been dying for a...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 18:42:30 EDT

Because we know you've been dying for a definitive answer, Jessica Simpson swears her boobs are real. And if a quote from a closely-managed P.R. campaign doesn't convince you we don't know what will. (usatoday.com, via egotastic.com)

Real Vs. Fake: The Globe(s) Divided

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:14:22 EDT

The Cold War ended nearly two decades ago, yet the world's superpowers are once again locked in a struggle for the very soul of humanity. What is the question that threatens to plunge entire nations into chaos and strife? Whether fake boobs are, in fact, better than real boobs. Prompted by a hard-hitting investigative headline in the eminent UK publication Zoo Weekly, we have no choice but to ask you, the people, to weigh the evidence and choose a side. Yet how can one be asked to decide between symmetry and softness, between size and comfort, between science and Mother Nature? As J. Robert Oppenheimer said when he invented the silicone implant in 1874, "I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Select your path carefully, for the very fabric of our society—and our fine lace bras—may rest on the outcome.

· "Real vs. Fake - The Issue Dividing Britain!" (and the world!) (dailypoa.com)

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Previously: Porno Plastic Surgery: Hall of Fame, Ugly Breast Implants, Silicon Challenge, Good Plastic Surgery

Morning Wood: Katie Price Needs Some Work Done

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 10:41:34 EDT

· Katie "Jordan" Price is a loose woman. What? She's the one planning to get her hoo-ha tightened after her baby is born. Was that more than you needed to know? (celebnewswire.com + tmz.com; thumbnail via taxidrivermovie.com)

· President Bush's new Surgeon General nominee is a good doctor. He even knows how the boy parts and girl parts fit together! (abcnews.go.com)

· June is National Internet Safety Month, so try not to slip and fall while surfing the web in the shower or something. (blorge.com)

· USA Today scrambles to keep up with The New York Times, and their story about the internet vs. DVDs. We're starting to think porn isn't the only business that's in trouble. (usatoday.com)

· Does porn really empower women? Again, with the Naked News! The internet does have more than one website, you know. (scrippsnews.com)

· Kanye West is so upset about missing the AVN Awards, he wrote a song about it. Imagine how distraught he would be if he'd actually been there. (avn.com)

· Go to an illegal porn theater in India, get free condoms. Everybody wins ... except for the people who will probably get busted for running an illegal porn theater. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Wet Spots: "Pirates" Will Steal Anything

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 May 2007 18:34:57 EDT

· You don't think Digital Playground would use the buzz around "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" to promote their own "Pirates" sequel do you? Such crass commercialism has no place in Hollywood! (adweek.blogs.com)

· How do you deal with cleavage when "American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller"? Sounds like the problem is taking care of itself. (abcnews.go.com)

· In Germany, on the other hand, devotion to boobs (or addiction to plastic surgery) could cost you your job. Unless your job is like "boob model" or something. (int.iol.co.za)

· She's not a pornstar, but every wants to snog with the Snorg Tees Girl, right? (Jalopnik)

· Australians are worried about the "pornification" of their culture. Hey, it already happened to us Yanks, and look how well that turned out! (xbiz.com)

· Your challenge: Ignore a fabulous pair of boobs hovering over you, or get a pie the face. Welcome to Japanese TV! (YouTube, via tvinjapan.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives