Especially since Claire isn't just any Irish lass: she's the first ever Irish Page 3 girl. We don't know about you, but she's certainly got our "Irish eyes" smiling right now.

· Claire Tully Topless for Page 3 (dailypoa.com)

· New Page 3 Babe Poppy Rivers Topless (dailypoa.com)

· Holly Valance enjoys her swimming pool almost as much as we enjoy watching her lounge next to it. (dailypoa.com)

· Japanese inventors create futuristic underwear to keep infrared photographers from seeing your naughty bits. And the pervert arms race escalates! (inventorspot.com)

· A sexy wardrobe to make your wife look like a whore? $77. Getting her to fuck you like one? Priceless. (wearemakingporn.com)

· Spice up your sex life with a collagen injection directly into your hoo-ha. If you believe that will work, we've got a penis pump the size of the Brooklyn Bridge we'd like to sell you. (thegshot.com, via wfmu.org)

· "Does Page 3 degrade women?" That depends on your definition of "degrade." If it's the same as everyone else's definition, then we will have to get back to you on that. (dollymix.tv)

· A survey of Adult Friend Finder users reveals that 72% of them would consider performing in porn. Of course, since 100% of them will consider banging strangers they meet on the internet, it's not that surprising. (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives

Remember in high school when your science teacher taught you that lesson about roller coasters in order to get you all excited about physics? This post is like the Fleshbot equivalent of that, only replace the word "physics" with "boobs." Since a tipster pointed out a theme park in England that decided to use topless Page 3 models to get people excited about their roller coasters, we figure there must be some sort of scientific connection between exposed nipples, g-forces and people screaming at the top of their lungs. (Also, there's a giant chicken involved somehow.) We already knew some of these babes were mathematically inclined, but we still don't understand why their breasts don't appear to move during a 200-foot vertical drop. As Bugs Bunny used say, it defies the laws of gravity, but we never studied law.

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· Page 3 Babes go topless on rollercoaster (sumo.tv)
· Chicken Breast Coaster Video (metacafe.com)
· Topless Roller Coasters (trendhunter.com)

Previously: Building The Perfect Page 3 Girl

The hot topless babes who appear on Page 3 of The Sun are legendary, but picking the right girl to decorate all those tabloid inches every day is not as easy at it seems. In fact, it's a highly technical operation based on a rigorous scientific process that few people outside of the applied mathematics department at Cambridge University will ever truly understand. However, thanks to the rocket scientists in charge of all that breastage, for the first time ever we can now reveal the complicated equation that explains what separates the Page 3 idols from the mere mortals on every other sheet of the tabloid.

The formula: S = 0.4c Hd (1 - FL / FW)² + Bw² BL (T + e 0.33a + WH). Here's how it works ...

As our purple friend helpfully points out, it's all about proportion. The length (FL) and width (FW) of the face, combined with the size of the forehead (Hd), together with the relationship of boob width (BW) to boob length (BL), with nipple size (a) and waist (W) to hip (H) ratio rounding out the variables that combine to form the ideal pinup babe. Factor all that together and what does it mean? It means that Keeley Hazell has some phenomenal tits. But we guess you already knew that, didn't you?

· "Keeley's perfect phwoarmula" (thesun.co.uk)
· Page 3 Girls (page3.com)

Previously: This Week In Lad Mags: As Real As It Gets, Britain's Best Boobs: Move Over, Keeley!, Meet Sam Cooke: Page 3 Idol, Totty Tributes, Page 3 Propaganda, Page 3 Girls