Hanging with Riley Evans' "Perfect Breasts"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 11:30:01 EDT

In the desert hills above Porn Valley hang Riley Evans' perfect breasts. She is standing in the 102-degree afternoon waiting for them to be - depending on the prevailing winds - ejaculated upon or over.

I never learned what happened between Tony DeSergio, Oliver Sanchez and Evans on the set of Harmony Films' "Gazzman's Perfect Breasts" (director Gazzman, even though the breasts aren't actually his, at least has great taste in them; tomorrow he's shooting Aiden Starr), because I feared bursting into flame, but several things are certain:

1. Evans' breasts are great
2. The Tampa native even has great breasts when she's sitting down
3. One of Porn's many fantasy elements, I've just realized, must be fucking on the surface of the Sun

· Gazzman (myspace.com)

FILF: Fathers Finally Get Their Due

Lux Alptraum — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Hot and horny mothers are a rather significant porn staple, but fathers are far less likely to get any recognition as an objection of someone's affection. MILFs may be hunted, but FILFs seem destined to be left in the corner (or forced to do hunting themselves). So it was with great joy that we unwrapped our copy of "FILF: Fathers I'd Like to Fu.." (or, according to the title card "Fathers I'd Like to F**k"—were they worried about offending the censors with foul language?). Finally, a tribute to all the sexy fathers in the world (and, inexplicably, Ron Jeremy as well).

Unfortunately, the FILF theme doesn't extend much beyond the title cards. Yes, there are scenes full of older men and younger women: but this is porn, and that's rather par for the course. In the feature's five scenes, there is no mention of taking the kids to Little League, no scenes of suburban dads driving home in minivans, no essence of fatherliness, period. Instead we're presented with a prisoner and a prison guard, a patient and his doctor, a vacuum salesman and his client—it's nice and all, but when we're promised fathers, fathers are what we want to see.

· Buy "FILF" (gamelink.com)

Fleshbot: straight, oliver sanchez

Hanging with Riley Evans' "Perfect Breasts"

FILF: Fathers Finally Get Their Due