So allow me to introduce the latest objet d'art-cum-sex toy to gain entrance to my nether regions: the Vergenza Mk. 1, a shiny metal dildo that looks like an art deco billy club... but feels like a little piece of heaven.

But first things first. Metal?

Yes, actually: aircraft-quality spun aluminum, to be precise. While this may sound like an odd material for a sex toy—this is, after all, a dildo, not a Boeing 747—it's actually an inspired choice. It's sterile, non-porous, and easy to clean; and it provides a vastly different sensation from silicone or rubber toys. Where rubber toys are soft and yielding, the Mk. 1 is firm and forceful. This is definitely a toy that means business.

And that's not the only benefit. As you may remember from chemistry class, aluminum is very temperature sensitive. Whether you're into a shock of ice cold pleasure or desperately desiring a little bit of warmth, the Mk. 1 can easily oblige. Simply soak the toy in heated or chilled water and marvel at its temperature-retaining properties. (It is worth noting, however, that the Mk.1 will also absorb your body heat, so even if it starts out cold it'll eventually end up at body temperature once you start sticking it in your junk.)

On the down side, the Mk. 1 isn't the prettiest toy on the market—and no, the fact that it comes in multiple colors doesn't really help. But thankfully, it's pretty easy to forget about aesthetics once you've got this thing inside you. Six levels of pleasure orbs? Awesome. Pleasure orbs bumping their way along my pleasure spots? Even awesomer. And in case you were wondering ... yes, you can flip it around and stick the handle in your hooha, or anywhere else you want. It's an interesting sensation, but you're probably better off using this toy as nature (or at least its manufacturer) intended.

The Mk. 1 comes with its very own storage bag, a black velvet "attaché" with a lovely silver pull cord. I recommend using it, both for protection and modesty. Sometimes, it's just better to be discreet than deal with questions about your fancy new nightstick.

· Mk. 1 (inspiredbyvergenza.com)

· "Craziest stage show ever! Fist-bangin mania!" (newsfilter.org)

Because pornstars are as a species a gentle lot who thrive on good will and caring attention (along with the occasional dirt pipe milkshake with a side of creampie), it's a good thing that there's no shortage of award ceremonies that address their perpetual need for self-affirmation. So while there weren't too many surprises when Rock Confidential announced the winners of their annual Reader's Choice porn awards recently—Jesse Jane, who also happens to be the interweb publication's resident sex advice columnist, was voted Best Female Star—we can't help but commend their discerning readership for also bestowing honors on such Fleshbot faves as Belladonna (Best Ass) and Janine Lindemulder (Best MILF).

And we certainly can't complain about the fact that RC also debuted a new pornstar gallery feature this week as part of the celebration. Until the New York Review of Books gets around to sponsoring its own adult award extravaganza (you know it's just a matter of time), this may well remain our favorite mainstream-ish tribute to the stars we've seen yet.

· 2007 Reader's Choice Awards and Rock Confidential Porn Star Galleries (rockconfidential.com)
· "Rock Confidential Announces Porn Award-Winners" (avn.com)

Previously: Feminist Porn Awards: This One's For The Ladies, Porn Valley Dispatch: Adultcon Awards Nominees Announced, 2007 F.A.M.E. Awards: Because If Belladonna's Ass Doesn't Win Something, We All Lose, Nella, Babe Of The Year (Officially), Porn Valley Dispatch: XRCOutside, 2007 AVN Expo: Those Were The Days, Porn Valley Dispatch: Naomi Is The Best (New Starlet)