Fleshbot: straight, math

TMZ has "learned" that 22 minus 5 is 17,...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:12:02 EDT

TMZ has "learned" that 22 minus 5 is 17, but that it's still a totally legal age to film boobies in Florida — and they also met some guy who crosses his heart and hopes to die that he took the photos of Kristin Davis before they were "sold" and then "stolen." We're so glad to have them around to make our own brand of voyeurism a little less pervy. (tmz.com)

Is this that "new math" we keep hearing...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:15:10 EST

Is this that "new math" we keep hearing about? For some reason, we were never able to concentrate much in our geometry classes either. (attuworld.com)

All those surveys that say men have twice...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:20:02 EDT

All those surveys that say men have twice as many sex partners as women are very interesting, even if they're, you know ... mathematically impossible. Strap your nerd hat on, this could get messy. (iht.com)

Get On Board The Math Bus

Violet Blue — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 09:39:49 EDT

We wish we'd thought of it first: hop into a van, drive around looking for hot math geek girls, and lure them into the van to go down on all of our outflow columns, make them do math in their heads, and then go looking for the next willing subject. (Sound familiar?) That's just what the Math Bros. have done in Math Bus, a short film now in the lineup at SXSW's Click, an annual event showcasing online and mobile video content. Before you get too excited, though, know that we have it on good authority that the girls in this clip are actually professional hardcore math stars and have done explicit taxes in, like, a zillion other videos—but don't let that spoil the fantasy. Totally SFW, unless your workplace expressly prohibits taxkakke.

· Math Bus (sxswclick.com)
· See also: That Other Site

Building The Perfect Page 3 Girl

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 07 May 2007 15:03:25 EDT

The hot topless babes who appear on Page 3 of The Sun are legendary, but picking the right girl to decorate all those tabloid inches every day is not as easy at it seems. In fact, it's a highly technical operation based on a rigorous scientific process that few people outside of the applied mathematics department at Cambridge University will ever truly understand. However, thanks to the rocket scientists in charge of all that breastage, for the first time ever we can now reveal the complicated equation that explains what separates the Page 3 idols from the mere mortals on every other sheet of the tabloid.

The formula: S = 0.4c Hd (1 - FL / FW)² + Bw² BL (T + e 0.33a + WH). Here's how it works ...

As our purple friend helpfully points out, it's all about proportion. The length (FL) and width (FW) of the face, combined with the size of the forehead (Hd), together with the relationship of boob width (BW) to boob length (BL), with nipple size (a) and waist (W) to hip (H) ratio rounding out the variables that combine to form the ideal pinup babe. Factor all that together and what does it mean? It means that Keeley Hazell has some phenomenal tits. But we guess you already knew that, didn't you?

· "Keeley's perfect phwoarmula" (thesun.co.uk)
· Page 3 Girls (page3.com)

Previously: This Week In Lad Mags: As Real As It Gets, Britain's Best Boobs: Move Over, Keeley!, Meet Sam Cooke: Page 3 Idol, Totty Tributes, Page 3 Propaganda, Page 3 Girls

Geometry Porn of the Moment: "The Reel Housewives of Orange County"

Gram Ponante — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 20:30:17 EDT

It was not lost on us that the boxcover of this movie is a pornographic representation of supplementary angles on a transverse. Would that our tenth grade geometry teacher at Pure Filth High (Go Brainless Twinks!) had used such teaching aids, maybe we wouldn't get drinks thrown in our faces when we ask Kim Kardashian to give up the velvety isosceles. - GP

· (No Information Whatsoever About "The Reel Housewives of Orange County" @ ) Felony Productions/Sandy Bunz (sandybunz.com)

· See also: "Notes on Caustics of Plane Curves" (rice.edu)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive