Fleshbot: straight, loona luxx

If "Hell Is Where The Party Is," Put Us On The List

Gram Ponante — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 11:30:01 EDT

I am trying to imagine the person I would have to be to show "Hell Is Where the Party Is" to guests at my home. Phil Spector comes to mind.

Hell Is Where the Party Is

Studio: Miss Lucifer.tv
Director: Louis Xypher
Cast:Viva Style, Silvia Saint, Angel Dark, Natalli Di Angelo, Loona Luxx, Julia Taylor, Jennifer Stone

Review by: Gram Ponante

This raveporn from European (of course) outfit Miss Lucifer is an ecstatic film. By this I mean you should take some Ecstasy and watch it over the shoulder of whatever similarly-affected, sweaty, PVC-clad UCLA student you're scratching up and down against like a piece of fleshy Velcro. I also mean that it is a lot of fun.

I mean, "Requiem for a Dream" made vag-to-vag dildo action seem sordid. But this is glorious.

Edited to within an inch of its life and featuring a soundtrack that must be played loud, "Hell Is Where the Party Is" is indeed a party movie. You can imagine it being screened on a series of zeppelins shortly before the end of the world, or in the background of some Adrian Lyne or Joe Ezsterhas movie, just as the protagonist is about to get his sensibilities up ended by a sexually dangerous woman who will ultimately leave him an empty shell of himself. It is like the Human League video that never was, as directed by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. It's like the alternate up ending to "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls."

A sophisticated and often playful porn movie which sets aside the common complaint that Europorn performers are disaffected and laden with ennui, "Hell Is Where the Party Is" is jerkoff material that seems to require a dress code, though the Vatican might look askance at its theology (even though it's got Silvia Saint).

· Official Site (helliswherethepartyis.com)

Jules Jordan Video Rings In The New Year With Celebratory Cream Pies

DCypher — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 14:00:00 EST

Chris Rolie drops the latest installment in his award winning cream pie series, "All Internal 9," today—in all its silky goodness. And naturally we've got your sneak peak. Why? Because we rule, duh!

Loona Luxx, Kyra Black, Jasmin, Milka Manson, Pamela Ann, Antynia La Rouge, and Cherry Jul take on the "cruel cock mafia," then moisturize their insides thoroughly with piping hot protein injections directly deposited into their freshly fucked orifices. So, in that regard, it's kinda a love story... right? Hey, we've been told that's how it's done in Europe, where they make this series. Who are we to question their take on erotica or romance? If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer to avoid another international incident—at least until the President-Elect is sworn in.

Cultural confusion aside, "All Internal 9" is a splendid way to waste away a cold January afternoon—as opposed to, say, toiling thanklessly in a cubicle or updating your resume and heading to the unemployment office. Sometimes you just need a full day (and night) of extremely well-crafted European pornography to get your mind right—that's been our experience anyway.

"All Internal 9" is flying off shelves today, so get your copy today and give 2009 the welcome it deserves.

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

Today in Transportation: "Slut Air"

pweasels — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:30:01 EST

We are very interested in finding out what airline schedules the “Slut Air” flights, how we go about making our reservations, and how the TSA copes with all the T&A.

We have already made plans to fly home for the Christmas holidays, but we are taking time off between National Hat Day (Jan 15) to Penguin Awareness Day (Jan 20), and we want to know what the security measures are like, what we can expect to be eating in first class, and if in fact there is an airline called "Quntas."

· Mr. X Productions (www.mrxproductions.com)
· Buy "Slut Air Flight Three" (gamelink.com)

MILFs Really Know How 2 Love Other MILFs

DCypher — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:00:00 EST

How do you follow up the release of one of the hottest adult titles the industry has ever seen? That's a hard enough task to begin with—but it's doubly hard when the release in question is a movie that features succulent MILFs devouring other deliciously ripe MILF’s, lapping at the juicy nectar in their most intimate places before drilling each other to earth shattering orgasms with their toys and fingers. Thankfully, New Sensations has an easy solution to that particular challenge: you just release another volume and crank up the star power. You just gotta love these people.

The second installment of MILF-on-MILF-crime filled goodness goes even further than the first one, pumping up the cast with big name girls like Austin Kincaid, Brianna Beach, Holly Halston, Sabrina Rose, Phoenix Marie, August, Mia Presley, Dylan Ryder, Anastasia Pierce, Nicole Moore, Krista Kaslo, and Loona Luxx. We’re not sure what kind of pep talk the director gives these ladies before they go at it, but from the look of things, it's totally working. These girls are drinking way more than just the Kool-Aid!

Having officially given up on the burden of proof last year (and yes, that goes for Barely Legal Teens as well). we can gleefully kick back and enjoy the muff diving madness without worrying about the actual MILFyness of each and every performer. Which is quite a relief, because with so many certified starlets turning in high quality performances it took us nearly a week just to watch the DVD. These MILF’s are good to the last naughty drop (we promise!)!

"MILFs Loving MILFs 2" releases this week from New Sensations.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)