Fleshbot: straight, lawyers

The DA of Bedford County, Pennsylvania says...

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:25:00 EDT

The DA of Bedford County, Pennsylvania says that just because he had sex with a woman he wasn't married to in his public courthouse office doesn't mean he committed a crime. And he ought to know—he is the district attorney, after all. (post-gazette.com; legal eagles via brazzers.com)

How do young legal eagles fresh out of law...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 29 May 2008 10:26:23 EDT

How do young legal eagles fresh out of law school prepare for the bar exam and collect scandalous dirt on the prosecutors and judges they'll face off against in future courtroom dramas? It's Craigslist orgy time! (abovethelaw.com, via Gawker; dramatization via pornstarvixen.com via askjolene.com)

(Still More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About) The Gene Simmons Sex Tape: The Plot Thickens

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:35:35 EST

To no one's surprise, Gene Simmons has lawyered up and gone knocking at the doors of sites that have reported on a certain sex tape scandal that erupted this week ... including our silicon-headed sibling Valleywag, who have just posted a cease-and-desist letter from his legal team which claims among other things that the tape was surreptitiously filmed by a woman named Traci Anna Koval but that Gene's company "Allied Industry" purchased all the rights to the tape back in 2003 presumably to keep it hush-hush. (Got all that?) However, a "spokesman" for the company currently selling the tape told XBiz earlier this week that it was shot nine months ago ... and that Simmons was completely unaware of its existence. It it possible that someone is not being completely honest here? Shocking! But wait ... there's more!

A little digging reveals that the mysterious Ms. Koval — if that is indeed, the woman in the video — is no stranger to internet nudity: she appears to have done some modeling in the past. (Mostly softcore topless shots, but we all have to start somewhere.) But is she also "Elsa", the Frank's Energy Drink spokesmodel from Austria mentioned on GenesSecret.com? Or is she actually Dutch, like this model directory claims? Or is she none of the above? What is truth, really ... and will we ever know all the answers? (And here you thought we were just trying to get more mileage out of a breaking celebrity sex scandal. Surely you know our motives are more noble than that.)

· "Gene Simmons lawyer confirms sex tape's authenticity" (Valleywag)
· Traci-Anna Koval (hollywoodboobs.com)
· Traci-Anna Koval, American
· Elsa - Frank's Energy Drink (franksenergy.com)
See also:
· "Gene Simmons' secret" (eyeweekly.com)
· "Rock Icon Gene Simmons Stars in Sex Tape?" (xbiz.com)

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Previously: Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape", Gene Simmons Addresses The "Incident"

Morning Wood: Emphasizing Genitalia Since 2003

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 10:52:07 EDT

· A filly may have won the big horse race this weekend, but Michelle Marsh would prefer to be the one doing the riding. Is she hiring stable boys? (dailypoa.com)

· The Australian Government issued a warning to Penthouse for publishing photos that "emphasized genitals," to which Penthouse replied, "Umm ... duh?" (xbiz.com)

· The New York State Bar Association was all excited to have a "sexual empowerment consultant" speak at their divorce lawyer meeting, until they found out she was ex-pornstar Sydnee Steele. What exactly did they think a "sexual empowerment consultant" does? (wsj.com)

· A few museum patrons were quite upset to learn that Marilyn Monroe once posed for naked photos. Wait until they hear about what happened to President Kennedy. (wkyc.com + daytondailynews.com)

· Brooklyn, Missouri, is the little town that could—thanks to four strip clubs, a massage parlor and an adult bookstore that keep the place alive. It's just like the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," isn't it? (stltoday.com)

· What if they gave out adult awards and none of the winners came to pick them up? Can they still put them on their mantle? (adultfyi.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives