We couldn't be happier with the results—well, short of being invited into the juicy action. "Wife Switch 8" features ten couples who are all (ahem) totally brand new to the art of swapping, trying out the swinger thing for the very first time! Okay, we don't buy it either, but we're willing to go along for the ride. That's why it's called suspension of disbelief, right?

The very first scene brought memories flooding back to us. Alex Sanders, Mark Zane, Monica Mayhem, and long lost Penny Flame (of VH1 fame) all get crazy in a four way pile up that is as impressive as it is mesmerizing to watch. Our favorite new Huffington Post blogger shines like a diamond as the meat to this crazy sex sandwich (not to mention the instigator) chowing down on Monica Mayhem's juice box before pairing off with her new lover's boyfriend. The scene delivers a punch, with Mark Zane keeping the heat on.

The rest of the movie, including the scenes with Alex Star, Jay Lassiter, Mackenzie Star, Velicity Von, Anthony Rosano, Justin Magnum, Kayla Carrera, Sara Jessie, Jessica Bangkok, Joey Brass, Kylee Reese, and Scott Lyons, are just as interesting to watch. But the second scene of the show caught our attention just a little more—by about four extra inches in length and three extra inches around.

Claire Dames, Friday, Lee Stone, and the legendary Sledge Hammer put on a show that we could not look away from. Seriously, it was like mixing porn with Cirque De Soleil, minus the clowns and the tight wire. The scene featured acrobatics, heavy lifting, contortionists, sword swallowing, partner exchanging, and death defying acts of cunt stuffing! C'est tres magnifique!

"Wife Switch 8" releases this week from Pink Visual and Blue Moon Productions. Check out this mega ultra super gallery! It's swaptastic!

Who doesn't love a parade, so long as they don't have to clean up afterward? Unlike the disturbing lyrical imagery of Jim Morrison's "Soft Parade,"the engines that effortlessly hum in this "Hard Parade" are engines of lust.

Consumers of commercial pornography want the same things as ordinary people everywhere. In a dying economy that, coupled with free internet porn, was totally killing the industry we know and love so well, they overwhelming reacted to corny spoofs of their favorite television shows and movies. They just wanted a little fanfare, to embrace the familiar and known, coupled with a soft and friendly place to satisfy their urges. So Hustler gave it to them. Then others copied their success. And now, like Hindus and Muslims in India, it's on like mofo donkey kong bitches!!! The war for porn spoof supremacy has officially been cranked up a notch.

Hot on the heels of their blockbuster chart topping "Star Trek" spoof, they go and drop an ode to Gordon Ramsay's hit cooking reality show "Hell's Kitchen," starring Marcus London as the iconic mercurial TV chef who weaves a tapestry of obscenities with the same superfluous ease with which he makes a souffle. Lording over a cast of supreme hotties that include luscious young Kagney Linn Karter, Missy Stone, Aiden Starr, Veronica Rayne, Callie Dee, and Kylee Reese, London singles out smoking hot "it" girl of the moment Kagney Linn Karter to marinate his sausage up inside. Her tiny lubricious mouth and pussy help Marcus churn up a fresh batch of piping hot fuck butter that he sprays all over her face.

Other noteworthy performances include the ridiculously hot little sex machine Aiden Starr. Is there anyone she can't fuck? We heart you, Aiden. So very very much.

"This Ain't Hells Kitchen XXX" is set to release by the end of this month but we wanna show you this exclusive sneak peek now. It ain't tricking if you got it. Now check the set...and break on through to the other side.

Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
· Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)
Hustler Video (hustlervideo.com)

Well, maybe that's not exactly how he would describe "The Brother Load," but trust us when we tell you that we see some ominous parallels between the works.

Take, for examplem the scintillating opening scene, where we watch our favorite dirty little angel Jenna Haze take yet another ball draining drilling deep up into her lusciously pink crevices. Clearly it is meant to mirror the way Paris absconded with Helen so he could have her all to himself, greedy bastard that he was. He paid the price, but who wouldn't be willing to weather the anger of the king of gonzo porn for a few stolen hours of indescribable pleasure with one of the hottest, most insatiable sluts the world has ever known?

And then there is the way CJ Wright literally dominates a stunned and breathless Serra Paylin Lisa Ann, which is not entirely dissimilar to the way King Agamemnon had his way with lovely young Chryseis when she became his most treasured prize. That's pretty much how we'd describe getting to nail Lisa Ann: valuable beyond measure.

Which leads us to believe that the six man gangbang that young Cecilia Vega lovingly endures in her lubricious drooling holes, with six throbbing one-eyed monsters spitting hot milky cream on her as a reward for all her sexy work, could only be a Cyclops allegory about racial transcendence, right?

Which brings us to the end of our lesson today on Greek Poetry. Just to recap here, "The Brother Load," stars Jenna Haze, Lisa Ann, Kylee Reese, Andi Anderson, Tori Black, and Cecilia Vega. It's from Chris Streams and Jules Jordan Video, and comes out at the end of this week, but we wanted you to see this goodness now. Happy Monday!

· Jules Jordan Video (julesjordanvideo.com)

We've always like rocking director Mark Stone. He's got great ideas and amazing execution—plus his taste in girls is choice! So it's not that big of a shock to realize that we're loving his newest effort under the "Reform School Girls" series. Volume 5 is the shit.

Chase Taylor, Arianna Armani, Holly Fox, Jaime Elle, Jessica Steele, Kylee Reese, and Cayden Moore make up the student body of Hedly Reform School. Like something out of a modern day reality television show, these young ladies continue in the gloriously lecherous tradition of being punished for sundry misdeeds, perceived and otherwise, by curiously attentive staffers with throbbing needs of their own. It's a real "hands-on" learning experience. Yeah, we were saving that one just for this series.

Truth be told, we're not even that interested in the plot. We happen to really dig this cast—but most especially, we could spend hours upon hours watching sweet young Kylee Reese work her vagtastic magic. Reese swears that she used to share a desk in school with Alaskan beauty Ava Rose, which gives us serious pause... if only to wonder what the hell they put in the water up there.

"Reform School Girls 5" comes out this week from Wicked Pictures. Your homework assignment this week is to go out and get it.

· "Reform School Girls 5" (wickedpictures.com)

· "Hag Out" with Claire Dames (myspace.com)
· Kylee Reese (myspace.com)

Night of the Giving Head

A security guard (Christian) responds to a call at a hilltop house. Getting no response to his knock, he enters and looks around. No one appears home. Suddenly, a dozen topless female zombies (led by Zombie Queen Caroline Pierce) appear and rip off his clothes, shouting "More come! More cock!"

I really don't know why this is supposed to be scary, because I can't recall anything more wonderful.

According to scientists, sperma-rays from a passing comet have infected women to the point that they will sap a man of his most precious bodily fluid, and the only way to neutralize the sperm zombies is to squirt whipped cream in their mouths.

"Let's go fuck them up," says a quartet of zombie hunters sequestered in another part of the house.

This is a ridiculous and delightful porn movie that is light on effects and plot but heavy (sometimes especially heavy) on game women unafraid to walk around like zombies bellowing "More coooooock." It is like the movie every eighth grader wants to make.

Why are all these juicy women shuffling around the house and how did they get there? It just doesn't matter, because once the sperm zombies are dosed with whipped cream, they become very affectionate toward each other. Symbiosis.

As the credits rolled on what I thought was a blissfully short movie, I noticed some names, like Amber Rayne's, in the credits that I hadn't seen in the movie. I realized I had a faulty DVD. Tinkering with it yielded the first half of the movie which now acted as a prequel to the part I'd already seen.

In the beginning, we see Rayne as the sperm disease's Patient Zero, and her post=blowjob shuffle across the hills of Chatsworth screaming "More Come! More Cock!" ranks as one of the most vividly realized performances in this awards season.

With a fun surfbilly soundtrack, Night of the Giving Head is great background fare for any over-18 Halloween party.

Studio: Rodney Moore
Director: Rodney Moore
Cast: Caroline Pierce, Rucca Page, Kylee Reese, Claire Dames, Nikki Rhodes, Samantha Sin, Amber Rayne, Rodney Moore, Christian

Review by: Gram Ponante

· Rodney Moore (rodneymoore.com)
· Buy "Night of the Giving Head" (gamelink.com)

"So you fuck it?"

We have been eager to show you this title but we keep getting waylaid, as if by "Pirates". A niche that (mostly) finds clothed women giving handjobs to naked men, this example of CFNM involves the likes of Abbey Brooks, Sophie Dee, Heather Gables, and Kylee Reese, among others, in configurations such as Jailer/Jailed, Pie Fucker/Gaggle, and Comatose Man/Nurses.

Not an inch of the five separate parts of the female anatomy commonly seen in porn is exposed in "Attack of the C.F.N.M.," and that may be disappointing to some viewers. But as Thomas Jefferson said, "I may not agree with your choice to not show Abbey Brooks' boobies, but I will fight to the death for your right to not compromise a porn niche sacred to maybe two dozen Americans."

While humiliation is a factor in some of these scenarios, at least the fellows enjoy some release at the end of their ordeal. Such as this guy, who probably hasn't seen too many good times since the royalty checks for "Two Princes" stopped coming.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Attack of the CFNM" (gamelink.com)