Dirty 30's 8

Studio: Pornfidelity
Director: Kelly and Ryan Madison
Cast: Brandy Edwards, Hunter Bryce, Brittany O'Connell, Claire Dames, Ryan Madison, Kelly Madison

Review by: Gram Ponante

The five scenes in the Madison couple's "Dirty 30's 8" simply do not have enough Kelly Madison in them. I want Kelly Madison to at least be sitting in a corner while her husband bangs someone born in the 1970s, that's how much she lights up the room with her sassy boobulousness.

But Madison is in only one scene (the best of the bunch) and merely makes a cameo in another. The rest of the movie made me think of the Madisons' neighbors to the north, Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick, who have also shifted the fucking-girls-on-camera duty to the husband.

It is not like Ryan Madison seems like a weasel or douchebag. In fact, he seems low-key and charming and deeply in love with his wife, as I am. But it is Kelly that fans are here to see.

And it is in that first scene, where Kelly, who is 41, entices Claire Dames, 27, into a trailer, that I wondered why the movie was part of the "Dirty 30's" series. Maybe the editor or sound guy is in his 30s. Is there nothing I can believe in?

The Madisons are efficient filmmakers who always throw in just enough setup to ensure viewers don't feel wretched for watching porn. And the remaining scenes in the movie, featuring Brittany O'Connell, Hunter Bryce (as an ambitious personal trainer), and Brandy Edwards (as a carpet merchant), are all solid and within age-range but, sadly, mostly Kelly Madison-free.

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Straight from the red carpet of the AVN Awards, here our some of our favorite (and not so favorite) fashion choices. We'll let you decide which is which.

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"Isn't the third anniversary paper or something lame?" asks Kelly.

"I think it's pussy," says Amore. Read our review of "Run for the Border 3" after the gap.

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Run for the Border 3

Studio: Pornfidelity
Director: Kelly and Ryan Madison
Cast: Kelly Madison, Dillan Lauren, Mikayla, August, Tanya Hardin, Alexis Amore, Ryan Madison

Review by Gram Ponante

Thus begins "Run for the Border 3", a movie whose Latin flavor extends about as far as the title. Though the guest stars might be Latina (although Tanya Hardin might be Canadian, Who Knows?), the movie is more about the Madisons, whose amicable rapport is only strengthened by the presence of extra women.

Maybe it would suddenly get weird if Kelly started bringing guys home, but then I wouldn't watch, either.

Next, the couple meets bartendrix Mikayla, who is wearing the most tip-getting outfit I've ever seen. The trio fuck on the bar. Waitresses in Riverside County don't exactly dress like Mikayla does, but she mixes a real martini and we can hear the bar's air conditioning (and a phone ringing) in the background. So I'm thinking this shot of reality should boost tourism in that area, especially since Disneyland to the west has opened itself up to Section 8 housing.

"If you hold my titties I can fuck you harder," Kelly suggests.

The next two scenes involve procuring someone for Ryan, and in the process we are treated to some outside views of the Corona, CA area, including its train station. While the extended setups don't work as well as the first two scenes, they are still engaging; the outside world should be reassured that August and Dillan Lauren were not just "picked up" - they were HIV tested and determined to be over 18 before the cameras started rolling - but enough of an effort was made to make the scenarios seem impromptu, and indeed what wasn't required by law looked improvised and natural.

Except for Ryan's haircut in the Dillan Lauren scene. That didn't look natural at all.

Finally, Kelly appropriates Tanya Hardin, playing a dental hygienist by day, stripper by night, to "whiten" Ryan's "teeth" between jobs. They even got her dental hygienist scrubs.

I don't know, but somehow I was left feeling that in that area of the 15 freeway, things like that happen all the time.

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* * * * *

Previously: Reviews Archive

Kelly Madison, the charmingly predatory big-busted Orange County wife, and her slightly younger husband, Ryan, star in this eighth installment of the series that features Kelly luring porn talent home for she and her husband to romp on.

He is a lucky bastard and I hate him. Read our review of "Pornfidelity 8" after the gap. - GP

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Pornfidelity 8

Studio: Pornfidelity.com
Director: Kelly Madison
Cast: Kelly Madison, Ryan Madison, Penny Flame, Monica Sweetheart, Mindy Main, Felony, Sharon Wild

Review by: Gram Ponante

But it's impossible to not like this couple or this movie, which tries just a litttle harder to make the standard gonzo setups more credible, and in a way this is a throwback to the less aggressive porn of the late '80s, in which the participants look happy to be there while not skimping on the camera angles necessary to get the job done.

In the first scene, the Madisons are joined by Penny Flame in a poker game that goes all Ryan's way.

What is notable about the dynamic between the couple and the way they choose to deport themselves is that Ryan generally lets things happen to him but doesn't, er, shrink from the responsibility. He knows his wife is running the show but everything she asks him to do is good.

The little extra effort the couple adds to their home movies pays off with scenes like the one in which Kelly meets the tasty Mindy Main outside of an O.C. library.

Main is so disappointed that the library is closed the day before her big exam.

KELLY: What do you study?
MINDY: Anatomy
KELLY: You are?

Madison, in an outrageous rabbit-fur coat (well, it looks like a rabbit) promptly invites Mindy back to her house, where she demonstrates on her husband, point by point, how blood gets to the shaft of the penis.

MINDY: Oh my gosh! I see!

Madison is brassy, older, and just a little bigger than the birdlike porn-standard Main. It is pleasant to watch The Madisons devour her.

RYAN: "Where do you find these girls?"
KELLY: "Oh, I don't know."

The couple (meaning Kelly) finds ways to attract the likes of Felony, Sharon Wild, and Monica Sweetheart back to their place, and enjoy every minute of it. Unlike movies geared toward couples, Pornfidelity 8 is a great couple movie.

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