Just as Carrot Top can make any household object seem funny, Grrltoyz'/Topco's Incognito Tickling Dust Brush seems to be one of those marital aids that might have begun life as ... oh, I don't know, a regular dust brush until someone thought: "Let's paint it pink and use it with the vagina."

There are other differences which we will enumerate after the gap, but remember: this is just one more way that, in the future, Everything Will Be Sexy^TM. - GP

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Just last night, Tony Soprano said of Christopher's non-alcoholic beer, "Never filling, and tastes like ass!" This is always my objection to powders, unguents, jellies, vapors, sprays, essences, goops, sauces, shmears, butters, spreads, oils, and dusts that one applies to areas someone's going to put his/her mouth on anyway; "Great! Now your pussy tastes like Tang got spilled on your pussy."

The real value our subject found in this device was the filament-tipped vibrator.

"The brush end was a different feeling from other vibrators," she said. She also liked that, save for the relentless pinkness of the wand, the ITDB looked like something she indeed would carry in the larger of her purses.

"I don't know about the (supplied) powder, though," she said. "I don't have any trouble getting eaten out by my girlfriend without any - "

" - Artificial flavoring?" I suggested.

"Yeah."

"But you did use the powder?" I asked (when I get a marital aid for the Test Kitchen, it is always tested on a human being, but not always, sadly, with me in the room).

"Oh yeah, we used the powder," she said. "She said it was like eating out the Kool-Aid guy's wife. Who's that? Dig' Em?"

"That was Sugar Smacks."

"Sugar Smacks. Oh yeah."

· Incognito Tickling Dust Brush (edenfantasys.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

Your daily (or in our case, bimonthly) housecleaning ritual just got a whole lot more interesting with the advent of the Vortex Vibrations, a patent-pending clitoral stimulator that plugs into your vacuum cleaner and promises to bring you to the kind of "faster, better, longer orgasms" than the type you'd get from just getting all the gunk out from underneath your bed or from between your sofa cushions. But don't break out your heavy-duty Oreck XL Pro just yet, ladies: according to the manufacturer, "A small hand held vacuum of 600 watt or less is more than adequate for most women. An 800 watt vacuum has proven satisfying for some, but has been too much suction for other women. A 1200 watt vacuum has been unpleasant to all testers", and may cause your clitoris to disappear into the land of dust bunnies and bread crumbs, never to return. (OK, we added that last part ourselves. Still, you can't be too careful.) Don't miss the short video clip of the device in action, in which a wee balloon is used to stand in for an actual clitoris "in the interest of good taste". Because if there's one thing we'd expect in our $59.99 vacuum cleaner sex toy attachment, it's discretion.

· Vortex Vibrations (vortexvibrations.com - thanks VB)

Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen: HER Perfect Fit Waterproof, OhMiBod's BodiTalk: Reach Out And Fuck Someone, When Dildos Attack!, Marital Aid Test Kitchen: My First G-Spot Kit, How To: Recycle Your Sex Toys, The NUE: Masturbating Your Way To A Better Tomorrow