Fleshbot: straight, hoaxes

Deanna Hummel Sex Tape A Hoax

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 08 May 2009 10:30:00 EDT

Our apologies to those of you who were hellbent on seeing that lady who banged the dude from "Jon and Kate Plus 8" doing sex: our reliable commenters have revealed the tape is a fake.

And even if it was Deanna Hummel, there'd be no need to pay for the video—it's all over the internet already (it's even right here, on this page!). So, uh, lesson to wouldbe hoaxers: if you're going to try to sell some fake sex tape, don't just pick one that's on the tubes. Cause the internet will figure it out. Fer serious.

· Being Fucked Backwards (fux.com)
· Deanna Hummel Sex Tape (deannahummel.com)

Abby Winters' "Girls Who Like Girls" Who Like Colin Hay's Old Band

Gram Ponante — Thu, 22 May 2008 10:50:00 EDT

Fresh-scrubbed! Cotton dresses! Meth-free teeth! Sturdy knees! These are the things to love about the Abby Winters girls, and even though "Abby Winters" itself is a little fib, the company doesn't give in to hyperbole in its titles: these are girls who like girls; they're too busy getting ready for backpacking trips and going on holiday to Gibraltar to set aside time for love.

Cleo and Violet acknowledge that it's hot in the room. Their futon mattress sits on the hardwood floor. Rustle, rustle. We hear a truck outside. It's sunny. It's so wholesome we could die.

At no time does anyone say, "Fucking bitch stole my Icehouse tapes." See? They really like each other.

Em & Gillian, meanwhile, prefer to keep the shades closed, and their conversation is limited to little giggles and grunts, maybe so we'll never hear "Where's my fucking 'Warakurna' cassingle?"

· Abby Winters (abbywinters.com)
· Buy "Girls Who Like Girls" (gamelink.com)

A 15-year-old terminally-ill virgin desperately...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 10:00:20 EDT

A 15-year-old terminally-ill virgin desperately seeking a little tail before the icy hand of death summons him home would be a great story, if only it weren't completely fake. Let's not forget the real virgins struggling to get laid everyday—they deserve our love and support too! (thestranger.com, via theblogblog.net)

Wet Spots: An Offer You Can't Refuse

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 19:00:21 EST

· We don't like to make statements like this often, but ... Best. Bagel Ad. Ever. We'll take a dozen with cream cheese. (adweek.blogs.com)

· We don't like to make statements like this either, but ... we're idiots: that German brothel unemployment story from this morning is total bullshit (not to metion over two years old). We're totally blaming Nerve. (snopes.com - thanks SW)

· Adobe will soon offer tools that can tell you if a picture has been manipulated by Photoshop. We don't need it because we know that photo we have of Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba and Linda Hunt in a lesbian threeway is 100% legit. (xbiz.com)

· Two 19-year-old strippers team up to rob a bank? Sounds like a horrible Hollywood movie. Or a really awesome adult one. (cnn.com)

· Computer Tip of Day: Microsoft's security features are not guaranteed to stop the FBI from finding your secret illegal porn stash—but Steve Jobs would have totally had your back. (darkreading.com)

· We've secretly replaced the romance novels at Borders Books with hardcore pornography. Let's see if customers can tell the difference. (thetimes-tribune.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives