Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno

Studio: Adam and Eve
Director: David Lord
Cast: Kayden Kross, Heidi Mayne, Kiara Diane, Dani Jensen, Codi Carmichael, Tiffany Mynx, Rocco Reed, Chris Cannon, Jenner, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Barrett Blade

"Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" opens with a scene of (surprise!) Kayden and Rocco making a porno—or at least fucking on camera. But wait: this isn't a porn scene from the porno that Kayden and Rocco make. This is a scene from a different porno starring Kayden and Rocco, one which Kayden and Rocco are sitting at home watching. (Have we lost you yet?)

After watching herself with Rocco, Kayden bemoans the state of porn today: clearly, she could do a better job behind the camera than these bozos. And thus Kayden sets off on the same path as many a performer-turned-director before her. With Rocco at her side, Kayden makes a porno.

Along the way, we meet an interesting cast of characters. Heidi Mayne shows up at the audition so desperate to land a role that she blows Chris Cannon and Jenner in the waiting room (at the same time). Aspiring pornstar Evan Stone (pre-haircut!) loses his chance to get cast in the production, but lies his way into a job as the PA...and then lies his way into Tiffany Mynx, Kiara Diane, and Dani Jensen as well. Rocco engages in on-the-job intimacy with make up artist Codi Carmichael. And, in a last ditch effort to save her film, Kayden takes on both Barrett Blade and Tommy Gunn.

"Kayden and Rocco" is one of those rare pornos that manages to have just the right mix of plot and sex, without seeming gratuitous on either front. The story is entertaining, the acting is good; and at no point do we find ourselves asking why, precisely, these people are having sex with one another. They're having sex because they're making a porno (come on, it says it right on the front of the box!).

You'll have to watch the movie if you want to see how it all turns out—whether Kayden succeeds at her dream, or finds that being a director is harder than it looks—but when you do, you'll have an enjoyable time. Just, uh, don't take the movie as an instructional on how to make your own porno. Trust us on that one.

· Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)

Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)
Buy "Kayden and Rocco Make a Porno" (adameve.com)

To the best of our knowledge, never before has an adult title worked so hard to fit into so many categories at the same time. Whether a stroke of creative genius or a crass attempt to more readily chop the material into easily marketed content for licensing deals, we may never truly know.

Set in a terrifying world where a handful of sexually uptight and morally conservative men are attempting to ban erotic materials from a small town library run by blonde, air headed MILFs, this release rapidly expands to become a metaphor for the loss of good old American style freedom! Oh noes!

And while you are all up in arms, emailing Glenn Beck and tracking down Bill O'Reilly and his elusive loofa, we will continue on with the more important details of this groundbreaking niche story porn release. Tatum Pierce, Heidi Mayne, Brooke Haven, and Holly Sampson comprise the sexually depraved cast of lovable dingbats who have no trouble getting down and dirty if it means getting their way.

Holly Sampson does a particularly good job of taking advantage of Dane Cross, reducing him to a well mannered boy who politely responds to the demands of an insatiable, bossy MILF who knows exactly what she wants. The result is a blistering hot scene that's sure to inspire.

"Naughty Blonde MILF Librarians" releases from Sin City and DCypher next week. In the meantime check out this exclusive gallery below.

Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Heidi Mayne
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Holly Sampson and Dane Cross
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)
Sin City Films (sincityfilms.com)

"It's a traditional three-act structure," said DCypher, tenting his fingers and looking thoughtfully into the middle distance. "The initial conflict is that the Naughty Blonde MILF Librarians have a naughty book section in their library that three guys want to ban."

The NBMLs are Brooke Haven, Heidi Mayne, and Holly Sampson. Tatum Pierce, also blonde and naughty but not yet a MILF, also appears in the movie.

"So Act Two is that the librarians decide to fuck the three guys in order to change their minds, which they do," the director said. "And Act Three involves the librarians fucking each other."

So these librarians, they started out as Naughty Blonde Milves, and - ?

"Yes," DCypher said, "the girls themselves don't have much of an arc, but they change everyone around them."

We took a moment to watch Brooke Haven sprawl frankly across the library's checkout desk. Later, Jay Ashley overcame his book-banning zeal to fuck Heidi Mayne.

The Sin City movie, which is being edited as of this writing and which will be released in September, is one of several mini-features the ancient and venerable porn company is shooting to add to its large back catalog.

And would "Naughty Blonde Asian MILF Librarians Who Are Also Overweight" be far behind?

"We've got a lot of niches covered already," said DCypher. "It's like a Jim Holliday movie."

· Sin City (sincityfilms.com)
· Buy DCypher's movies (gamelink.com)

Anyone know where, pray tell, we might find her? Cause we'd definitely love to, ahem, get to know her better. And also look at her naked some more. Definitely that too.

· Buy "Tits 'n Ass" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive

Such is the sad case, in our humble but esteemed opinion, with the latest title directed by Chris Rolie for Jules Jordan Video. Don't get us wrong—there's a lot to love about "Tunnel Butts." After all, the release stars big booty cuties Melissa Lauren, Kaci Starr, Jamie Elle, Kelly Wells, Adrianna Nicole, Jaslin Diaz, Heidi Mayne, Cassandra Cruz, Ricki White, and Mason Moore taking hearty helpings of cock in every hole, with seven scenes running nearly three hours (this is a massive release, people.). Still, even with all that action, the title just leaves something to be desired.

Not to sound like Andy Rooney or anything, but what exactly are “tunnel butts” anyway? Are these the butts that runaway slaves like Fredrick Douglass and Harriet Tubman once used to fulfill their sexual desires while fleeing slavery via the underground railroad? Or is this a puerile reference to the anal proclivities of our zaftig, callipygous starlets? We can’t make heads or tails out of some of these threeways!

In the end (pun fully intended), we’ve learned that, no matter how mangled the etymology of pornographic idea might get, the enjoyment is still the same—so long as it’s not Japanese tentacle porn. Rolie gives us a delicious display of riches by way of Jules Jordan, and offers up the ripe and juicy derrieres of voracious starlets out to earn a name for themselves. That's something we're grateful for in any language.

· "Tunnel Butts" (julesjordanvideo.com)

See more snaps after the gap.

"Fuck Mr. Thermopyles," says Manning to Lorelei Lee. "Fuck him!"

Evan Stone is also in the cast as Thermopyles' nemesis, Messr. De La Soul. Manning edges him out in the ham department, but just by a little.

If only Randy Spears and Stephen St. Croix had also been in the cast, James Lipton would have been required to tape a show on the set.

"Fucking Mr. Thermopyles" would have been a much better title for this movie, employing the hot-five-years-ago gerund formula of movies like "Kissing Jessica Stein", "Chasing Amy", and "Finding Forrester".

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)
· Buy "Reform School Girls 3" (gamelink.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Photoplay Archive, Porn Of The Moment Archive

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Auto Bang Sluts 2" (gamelink.com)

Previously: Porn of the Moment Archive

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" tells us not to go anywhere without a towel, and 28-year-old porn newcomer Heidi Mayne is loyal to the industry standard of never taking a picture without some baby oil on. But underneath the oiled exterior there beats a mercenary heart. "I get a lot of work because my butt is so darn huge for a while girl," she says, adding, "I love sex and I love being paid, so to be paid for having sex has so far been too good to be true."

We are paying close attention to the so far; when one is so well-greased one can lose control. She'd better get a towel. - GP

· Heidi Mayne (myspace.com)
· Gold Star Modeling (goldstarmodeling.com)