This item is not to be confused with this less full-service item. Indeed, today's model can be mounted on the couch ... just like a real lady!

"Heather was molded just for you," says the box containing the surprisingly heavy Cyberskin creation. Indeed, there is a picture of an engooped Heather Vandeven getting a mold struck of her parts. Because she cares for me, she is wearing full makeup as she peeks at me from a table in a room that is probably the accounting office.

Don't get the wrong idea, but I have personal experience with the ass of the woman who was Penthouse's 2007 Pet of the Year. I have touched it. But divorcing the ass from the person is difficult, so I placed the ass on a leather couch, which is about as yielding and firm as a person (or at least more similar than the fake plant in our office, or the desks).

While the Cyberskin smelled like Cyberskin and not melon body spray or coconut rum, the ass was submitted to a stripper-grade slap test and it was lifelike and satisfying, emitting a resounding *smack!* and resulting satisfying jiggle. But I did not fuck it, alas; I don't want to sully my relationship with the real person, and sopmehow I can't imagine that the real person would allow that sort of interaction.

But if you have never met Heather Vandeven, fuck away!

We want to buy a desk with a top drawer we can open at opportune moments to reveal a bottle of Scotch and Heather Vandeven's Vibrating Cyberskin Doggy Style Pussy & Ass: Good for what ails ya.

· Heather Vandeven's Doggy Style Pet Pussy & Ass (topcosales.us)

I guess the only important words in this product other than "Heather Vandeven" are "Pussy" and "Ass". And I will have you know that, if these dimensions are correct, you will be entering a world unexplored by male porn talent. Why? Because Heather Vandeven doesn't do guys (on film) (yet). Neither does her alter ego Heather Vuur. So, unlike last month's Memphis Monroe Vibrating P & A, which you might imagine have stretched to conform to the dimensions of everyone she has worked with, Heather Vandeven's could very well be less, er, roomy.

Read our review of Topco/Penthouse's Heather Vandeven's Vibrating Cyberskin Pet Pussy And Ass after the gap. - GP

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Maybe a substantial portion of our readers (and definitely our editor) enjoy anonymous sex in alleyways, prisons, and biospheres, but the whole idea of molding a celebrity's fantastiparts^TM indicates that many consumers care about identity. So who are we making sweet love to when we grip, release, and grip again this piece of Cyberskin material?

Is it Penthouse Pet of the Year Heather Vandeven who can't love a man because of her Penthouse contract, or is it Ninnworx star Heather Vuur, who can't love a man because of her Penthouse contract?

It is both, and none. As Ninnworx and Vandeven have been refreshingly candid about the dual roles Heather plays in outright porn (Vuur) and the gauzy high-end gentlemen's magazine (Vandeven), the fan will truly be making a penile journey into the theoretical by sampling this product.

Because we have great fondness for Heather Vandeven, we would find it rude to act on the box' direction to "Try Me/Buy Me". It would involve sticking one's finger into a mini-version of the P&A set like the cover of "Flowers in the Attic". As this model was made by the same company, Topco, as the Memphis Monroe version for Hustler, all the auxiliary parts, such as the controller and bullet, work the same.

The big difference, as you can see by this comparison photo, is that Heather's are smaller than Memphis'.

· Topco/Penthouse Heather Vandeven's Vibrating Cyberskin Pet Pussy And Ass (discreet-romance.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)
· Penthouse (penthouse.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive