Fleshbot: straight, fakes

Internet "experts" are warning people not...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:45:36 EDT

Internet "experts" are warning people not to click on any emails that promise you a Barack Obama sex video. Instead, they advise you to wait for the inevitable Sarah Palin sex video, because it's much hotter and maybe involves a pig or a moose or something. (Actually, the Obama email contains malware that will eat your computer's brain or something. In case you hadn't figured that out already.) (cnet.com)

What was the cruelest April Fool's prank...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:52:39 EDT

What was the cruelest April Fool's prank of all? Trying to make people believe that there's a secret sex tape starring delightful singing rumpshaker Shakira in a threeway. Some things are just too important to make jokes about, people. (radaronline.com)

An upcoming issue of Hustler will feature...

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:22:13 EDT

An upcoming issue of Hustler will feature nude shots of Spice Girl Geri Halliwell ... or you can just Google "Geri Halliwell nude" and save six bucks. Plus, playing a game of "spot the fakes!" is always good for an afternoon of fun! (sfgate.com + mostly real results @ exp0sed.com)

Who's That Girl?: The Greatest Celebrity Sex Scandals That Weren't

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:20:28 EDT

Everyone loves celebrity sex stories; we probably wouldn't be in business if they didn't. But one problem with amateur handheld night-vision camera phone pornography is that it's often difficult to identify the participants. Of course, that also makes it easy to dupe a public eager for juicy gossip into thinking that you fucked a movie star. The more immediate problem for us is that whenever one of these sexy stories "leaks" people turn to us to pass an informed judgment on its veracity—and most of the time, we're just as confused as everyone else: we do pride ourselves on our ability to spot a good fake, but even we get it wrong sometimes. (And that's the most shocking fact of all!) So join us as we take a look back at some incredibly scandalous true-life celebrity shenanigans that turned out to be not-so-true after all ... and even one that was.

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· The Britney Spears Sex Tape

We all wanted that one to be true, but sadly, that was just the beginning of the end for America's fairy tale couple.

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· The Alyson Hannigan Sex Tape

To this day, you can still find paysites that are trying to pass this off an authentic exclusive, even though no one really believed it in the first place.

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· The Adriana Lima Sex Tape

We would have totally bought that a Victoria's Secret supermodel would fuck on tape, except that virgins don't generally fuck on tape. Or Victoria's Secret supermodels for that matter.

. . .

· American Idol contestant Antonella Barba's blowjob

We were never 100% sure if these were definitively proven to be her or not, but that's beautiful thing about interent scandals: It's not a lie if you believe it!

. . .

· Vanessa Hudgens Nude Cell Phone Pics

The craziest thing about these pictures wasn't that they involved the star of a Disney show, but that they were actually her! (She also may have taken them for a boy who isn't really into girls, but that's another story).

. . .

· Kristin Davis' Old Nudie Pics

Some people are apparently still on the fence about this one, but unless someone has a really detailed picture of Kristin Davis' elbows we're not buying it.

Flesh Flicks: It's The Kristin Davis Sex Tape! (Sorta)

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:03:41 EDT

Check it out, everyone! We have the exclusive video of "Sex And The City" star Kristin Davis having sex with her boyfriend. Except ... it's not really exclusive and it's not really her. Our friends at the Hot Wife Allie blog actually found this video several months ago (breaking!) and noted the similarities to Carrie Bradshaw's BFF way back then. Of course, it's a completely different person, but it is an actual sex video and it's at least as convincing as the dark, out-of-focus pictures everyone is examining with a fine tooth comb right now. If you just use a little imagination, you can totally believe that Kristin Davis is having sex with a guy who sorta looks like the new Governor of New York. Porn is all about fantasy anyway, so just go with it, ok?

. . .

· "Kristin Davis Lookalike" (Megarotic, via hotwivesonline.com)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Until we see more evidence than just a single...

Jonnobot — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:05:27 EDT

Until we see more evidence than just a single screencap, we're sticking by our assertion that that "Kristen Davis Sex Tape" isn't what the people hawking it says it is. Our "Sex And The City"-loving colleagues at Defamer, however, have no such scruples. Bless their pervy hearts. (defamer.com)

Hate to break the news — and not that...

Jonnobot — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:52:43 EDT

Hate to break the news — and not that we've always been 100% correct about these sorts of things before — but if a celebrity sex tape like one purporting to star "Sex And The City"'s Kristen Davis sounds too good to be true (and requires you to sign up for some dodgy pay site to see the rest), it probably is. But you knew all that already, right? (theblemish.com)

Porn Detective: The Not-So-Mysterious Case Of Katie Fey's Hardcore Doppleganger

Jonnobot — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:50:36 EDT

Since a big part of what we do here at Fleshbot involves looking at porn all day (o.k., it's pretty much all we do), it's natural that we frequently get emails from readers asking us to identify such-and-such a performer in an anonymous video clip or inform them whether a certain model they stumbled across has appeared in other venues. And as much as we'd love to claim we know everything there is to know about every single person who has ever taken his or her clothes off in the histories of various pornographic media ... well sometimes we just don't. (Still love us?)

Sometimes, however, things are almost too easy to figure out. After the jump, read how we cracked the case of non-hardcore model Katie Fey spooge-covered double without even having to refill our cup of coffee. If only our jobs were always so easy.

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Dear Fleshbot,
Katie Fey is one of my all-time favorite porn models, but I've never seen any hardcore photos of her.

Recently, while perusing some thumbnail galleries, I came across this "Real Girlfriends" page. What caught my eye was the photo of a pretty cum-covered girl at the bottom right. It's Katie Fey! With cum all over her face!

The photo's not identified as Katie Fey, but when you compare to other photos — like the ones here or here — it's pretty clear that's the same girl or her twin sister! Oh . . . pardon me for a moment while I shudder and tremble at the delicious thought of two Katie Feys.

But I get more excited at the thought of photos of Katie in sucking cock to the ultimate resolution all over her face. If this cum-covered girl is indeed Katie, can you put the awesome powers of Fleshbot to work figuring out where the rest of this photo set is? My libido will forever be in your debt.

Signed,
Desperate In DC

Dear Desperate,

We hate to break it to you, but as far as we've been able to determine Katie Fey hasn't done any hardcore material; given the fact that she's one of our favorite models too, we're sure we would've heard about it by now if she had.

There is, however, this clever piece of computer software you may have heard about: it's called Photoshop, and we've heard that some folks use to create convincing-looking photos of exactly the type that got you all hot and bothered. In fact, with a little bit of practice you can even learn to make them yourself!

So it looks like Katie's honor remains unbesmirched; sorry to break the bad news. The good news? With your own copy of Photoshop, you can besmirch her honor all you want.

Looking forward to seeing the fruits of your labor, we remain.

Faithfully yrs.,
xo Fleshbot

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Previously: Dysfunct's Fake Amateur Facials, How To: Make Your Own Facials, Celebrity JO Forums And Cumshot Pics: Where Sharing Is Caring, Got Cum?: Celebrity Cumshot Blog, Facial Forum, ArtiFacial

We hope you're sitting down for this: it...

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:19:02 EST

We hope you're sitting down for this: it turns out that the profiles of hot women used to lure customers to sexy online chat rooms are — gasp — not real! You mean to say that people sometimes pay for sexual services that are just ... a fantasy? We don't know what to believe anymore. (blogto.com)

Flesh Flicks: Wishful Thinking

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 18:15:38 EST

We don't judge other people's sexual fantasies: whatever crazy ideas you've got bouncing around in your adorable little heads is between you and your credit card statements. But some notions are just, well, out there. Like the idea that whoever posted this video believes the star of it could be a stand-in for Scarlett Johansson. Sure, she's cute and has a nice rack, but she also has jet black hair. Oh, and she's Japanese. But other than that she looks just like everyone's favorite Danish-Jewish New York City-bred Hollywood honey. We just have to wonder: does Scarlett also enjoy fucking on a bed coated with what appears to be melted marshmallows?

· "Scarlett Johansson lookalike" (Megarotic)

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Previously: Flesh Flicks Archives

Fergie Sex Tape: Humps (And Fergie) Not Included

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 14:00:55 EST

ZOMG, u guys! Fergie is totally a drunk slut who like to touch herself on video! Actually, as believable as that scenario sounds and as "convincing" as this pouty-lipped blingified doppleganger appears, we're pretty sure that an actual sex tape starring the actual Black Eye Peas star would unfold quite differently. Champagne, jewels, slurred words ... ok, it would probably be exactly the same, but we're also not about to shell out hard-earned money to a paysite in order to see the rest of this adventure, since for all we know it's five more minutes of a drunk girl rolling around on a bed before she passes out for the night. The musical sex tape experts at Idolator have their own take, but the bottom line is that you can spend about 10 more seconds on YouPorn and find something better to tune into. Or try MTV. They still show videos, right?

· Stolen fergie sex tape (NOT) (youporn.com)
See also: Fake Fergie Sex Tape: Most Unappealing Fake Sex Tape Ever? (Idolator)

Celebrities Caught In The Act! (Or Not.)

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:11:23 EDT

Alison Jackson has what some might consider an unusual hobby: like a lot of photographers she enjoys snapping celebrities in comprising positions, only instead of doing the paparazzi grunt work of hiding in dumpsters and posing as a UPS delivery person she just hires celebrity lookalikes and with a bit of photographic magic. And presto—everyone gets to see Elton John getting an enema, Angelina Jolie breast feeding, and Queen Elizabeth with her granny panties around her ankles! While we can definitely appreciate the amusing possibilities of catching famous people in their most intimate moments, but the whole thing would probably feel a lot more subversive if we didn't already know that they do much worse things when no one is watching. Or in some cases, when everyone is watching. Besides, everyone already knows about Michael Douglas' kinky side anyway, right?

· Alison Jackson: Confidential (alisonjackson.com, via hitchaser.com)

The Adventures Of Carol

Fleshbot — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:39:46 EDT

At first glance, we didn't see anything too unusual about this Flickr photostream: it seemed like just your usual assortment of busty babe bikini pics and a few shots of hot girls kissing each other. (And we all know that Flickr streams like that are a dime a dozen.) Then we looked a little closer and saw that someone (most likely the stream's owner) had carefully inserted a tarted-up male face (most likely his own) onto all those deliciously curvy female bodies, thus making things a whole lot more interesting ... if slightly creepy. His Photoshop skills are pretty admirable, though, and as far as hobbies go it beats painting tasteful watercolors of sunsets or something. And if your secret fantasies involve being a large-breasted glamour girl, we guess it's a less messy and expensive alternative to having to deal with all those implants and hormone injections.

· markh268's photos (flickr.com - thanks Shawn)

Previously: Creepy Porn by Dana Christian, My X Fantasy: Make Your Own Porn!, Image/Imagine, Mocktoad's Transformations, Errall Amputee Fantasy Art, Pretty Macho

Britney Spears: Off The Deep End?

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 02 May 2007 15:36:13 EDT

Obviously, we wouldn't put anything past Britney Spears at this point. The Shaved One's revolving door of rehab, combined with her questionable (and absent-minded) fashion choices lead us to believe she's capable of just about anything. But is she crazy enough to pose topless in a field of posies like some neo-hippie flower child? We're not saying she wouldn't do something like that, we're just not 100% certain that she did do it in this instance. Anyone can put on a goofy hat and some oversized sunglasses and create a reasonable approximation of Brit Brit, right? As usual in these situations, we leave it up to you, the experts, to decide. Take a closer look after the jump and tell us who you really think is the girl behind the flowers and share your reasoning in the comments. No matter what, we think we can all agree that a full-fledged nude spread is only a matter of time, even if these photos has no bearing on that future decision whatsoever.

- - -

· Britney Spears Topless? (hollywoodtuna.com)
· Britney Spears Topless Pictures! (egotastic.com)

Previously: The Britney Spears Sex Tape: Don't Hold Your Breath, Yet Another Britney Spears Upskirt, Britney Spears Upskirt Photos: No, Really, Britney's Bald Badassness

Wet Spots: An Offer You Can't Refuse

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 19:00:21 EST

· We don't like to make statements like this often, but ... Best. Bagel Ad. Ever. We'll take a dozen with cream cheese. (adweek.blogs.com)

· We don't like to make statements like this either, but ... we're idiots: that German brothel unemployment story from this morning is total bullshit (not to metion over two years old). We're totally blaming Nerve. (snopes.com - thanks SW)

· Adobe will soon offer tools that can tell you if a picture has been manipulated by Photoshop. We don't need it because we know that photo we have of Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba and Linda Hunt in a lesbian threeway is 100% legit. (xbiz.com)

· Two 19-year-old strippers team up to rob a bank? Sounds like a horrible Hollywood movie. Or a really awesome adult one. (cnn.com)

· Computer Tip of Day: Microsoft's security features are not guaranteed to stop the FBI from finding your secret illegal porn stash—but Steve Jobs would have totally had your back. (darkreading.com)

· We've secretly replaced the romance novels at Borders Books with hardcore pornography. Let's see if customers can tell the difference. (thetimes-tribune.com)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives